Again I apologize for the long wait. The good news is that I wrote so much that I decided to split this chapter into two so the next one is already done! It will be up shortly after this one.
A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed and also to those who put this story on the favs and alerts. I really do appreciate every single email I get that tells me someone has read my story. Thank you!
I originally had this extremely long A/N that I was going to include right before this chapter started, but I am in a very wordy mood right now and couldn't seem to stop writing my unsolicited opinions so I moved it all to my profile page. It's basically a rant about my characterization choices of Ron and Hermione, how I feel about them, how much I love them and sort of explaining why I chose to write them this way. If you want to read it just click on my name.
Warning: This is an angst-ridden chapter with no lemon. Not even a slice. Maybe a squirt in the eye, but it won't sting. If that makes sense…
Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious that I don't own Harry Potter?
Chapter 11
"Bloody hell, its enormous," Ron muttered under his breath. He struggled to keep a straight face when Hermione looked over her shoulder at him.
"What did you say, Ron?" she asked.
"Oh just that I'm glad we're finally here," he said quickly.
Hermione turned around to face him. "So am I," she said as she shifted the bag she was holding in her hand to her shoulder.
Before they left Australia Hermione had shrunk and stored her parent's belongings into one of her dad's duffel bags and cast a weightless charm on it. It was easy enough to get inside the Australian Ministry, activate the shoelace portkey then apparate to a side road near Hermione's childhood home. They had left after lunch, but now that they were back in London it was morning all over again.
"Is it heavy? Do you want me take it for you?" Ron asked Hermione ready to shoulder the bag she was carrying along with both of their rucksacks he was already holding.
"No, don't be silly. It weighs almost nothing," she said gripping the strap of bag tightly. Ron frowned at her. She looked nervous. No, she looked…scared.
"Hermione, it's going to be fine. Look," Ron said as he gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her back around. "See? Just like we said. It hasn't been touched, right?" He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and propped his chin on the top of her head. She sighed and leaned back further into him. He smiled to himself thinking how perfectly her small fame fit against him, like a well worn glove.
He used that moment to look up and around at the three story house that was currently towering over them. He was finding it hard to believe that such a down to earth, kind and gentle human like herself could grow up in an immaculate home such as the one they were about to enter. The outside of the house was covered in stone and brick making it a lot more welcome despite its large size. The Grangers decorated their front lawn with bright green grass and flowers of every color on either side of the flagstone pathway. He smiled at the ceramic gnomes standing guard on either side of the steps. How he could ever mistake these cute little statues with those annoying buggers in his own yard was beyond him.
Ron peered up at the many windows and noticed every shade was drawn blocking the morning sun from penetrating through the house. He wondered which one led to Hermione's bedroom then blushed furiously as dirty thoughts of having his way with her in her childhood bedroom instantly turned him on. He just wanted to enjoy the time they had with each other before they had to return to the Burrow with its open door policy and Ginny's constant pledge to be a cock blocker.
"I don't know why I'm so anxious," Hermione said and shrugged her shoulders. "I just can't shake this feeling that something's not right."
He shook his head to throw all the horny thoughts to the back of his brain and focus on actually getting Hermione inside the house.
"Come on, Hermione. You'll feel better once we get inside and you can relax." He stepped back from her and grabbed her hand pulling her towards the stone steps leading up to the bright blue wooden front door.
"Here we are," Hermione said releasing Ron's hand and taking a metal key out of her pocket.
"Oh for goodness…I can't-" she grumbled flipping her hair angrily over her shoulder making Ron veer back so he wouldn't get smacked in the face with it . Her hands were trembling as they couldn't fit the key in the lock. She stepped back breathing heavily.
Ron squeezed her hand briefly and flashed a reassuring smile even though he was truly concerned. "It's alright," he said softly, "I'll open it, yeah?"
"No you-" she started then stopped abruptly when he took his wand out and easily opened the door using Alohomora.
"-weren't supposed to do that," she said quietly her voice trembling. He didn't understand. Why would opening the door be a problem? He glanced at Hermione once before turning the knob and swinging the door open into the house.
"No Ron!" Hermione yelled. Suddenly he felt her shove him hard down onto the stone landing just outside the front door. His hands broke his fall, but he grunted loudly as she dropped heavily on top of his back knocking his shoulder into the stone below him.
"What the fucking hell, Hermione!" he groaned after getting his breath back after having it knocked out of him. He arched his back which signaled Hermione to scramble off of him. He sat up on his knees and rubbed his shoulder glaring at Hermione was who was kneeling and peering into the dark house.
"I had put anti-magic spells over the house to prevent any Deatheaters from getting in that way. You should not have been able to open that door, Ron," Hermione said breathlessly. She had a hand on her chest and looked anxiously over at him. Now he understood why she tried to stop him.
"Alright, so obviously the spell either wore off or they broke it down," Ron said as he got up on his feet. "Did you rig something to come out if someone did get in? Did you see something just now? Hermione, why in Merlin's beard did you tackle me?"
"Sorry," she said taking Ron's outstretched hand and standing next to him in the doorway. "I didn't rig anything, but since you got in I thought maybe Deatheaters might have. I didn't know what to expect."
Ron felt like a tit for overreacting and also for not thinking of that same scenario himself. He was supposed to be the one protecting her, not the other way around.
Some Auror you'll make, he thought.
"It's alright," he said then ran his hand over his face. "I feel so fucking stupid. I should have known you would set that kind of protection. We should be more careful now, yeah?"
"Definitely," Hermione said with a nod. He noticed her bottom lip tremble before she took it into her mouth. She glanced over at him and he smiled at her once again feigning confidence.
"Let's take it slow and take each room one at a time," he said as he picked up the bags and lit his wand pointing it out in front of him. "I'll go first. You never know with those fuckers."
Well Weasley, you want to be an Auror. Here's your chance to show Hermione what you're made of. Please God don't let there be any spiders in here.
He cautiously stepped over the threshold and moved forward hearing Hermione follow right behind him. The lights from their wands bounced around the walls and floors as they moved. She mumbled the spell to reveal if anyone else was in the house. They both let out matching sighs of relief when nothing happened.
"Looks good in here," Ron said sweeping his eyes over the ceiling, walls and down to the hardwood floor. A round ornate table sat in the center of the foyer between the front door and an impressive wooden staircase. A cozy looking armchair sat in the corner near the front door. He noticed large doors on either side of the foyer and a hallway next to the stairs leading to more rooms. He peered into one of the glass doors and wondered how big this house actually was. Regardless of its vast size, he shouldn't be surprised that their real home reflected the Grangers' good nature and welcoming personalities. He felt right at home the minute he stepped through the door.
"I like this place. If I were a muggle I reckon I would live in a place like this, yeah?" he said smiling over at Hermione who was busy turning on all the lights she could find. She beamed over at him then around the foyer taking it all in.
"Ron, I would love to know what you would have been like as a muggle. I really would," Hermione said with a chuckle. "But I like the Burrow. It's…cozier. Who needs all this space anyway?"
"Er…how about a family of nine?" Ron asked incredulously.
Hermione laughed and said, "Right, of course! More rooms for your mum to clean. She would love that."
"You don't realize, my mum loves to clean," Ron said as he opened the glass doors leading to the living room. The sofas were dark brown and there were large woven rugs thrown on the floor. The fireplace was stone and the walls were a light yellow. He noticed framed photos lining the walls and even more photos across the top of a piano in the corner of the room.
"I'm sure that's not true, Ron… Wow I forgot how many photos my mum had around here. I should set them right before we move on," Hermione said then walked around tapping her wand against frame after frame changing them back to their original Hermione-ful states. He moved to the opposite side of the room to the windows pulling the shades up to let in the sunlight. He felt at peace and was starting to feel confident that the rest of the house should be about the same when he heard a piercing scream come from a different part of the house followed by thunderous crashing and banging sounds. Ron spun around searching for Hermione and swore loudly when he realized she must have left the room while he was busy admiring the view.
Great going you bloody prat, he thought as he tripped over a rug in his haste to flee from the room. Turn your back for one fucking second…it'll be a miracle if you make it through fucking Auror training without embarrassment.
"Hermione! Where are you? I'm coming!" he shouted when he made it back out to the foyer.
"I'm here!" He heard her voice coming from the hallway next to the stairs. When he found her she was sitting on the floor in the hallway, breathless with her hand to her chest. "In the kitchen… Oh god, it's horrible!" she wheezed and pointed to the doorway in front of her. With his heart still racing he held his wand out ready to hex the first thing that moved. He helped a shaking Hermione up onto her feet and behind him.
"Holy shit," was all he could find to say as he looked around to take in the site before him. Anything that resembled a kitchen was lost in an enormous pile of broken glass, wood, stone and metal. He could see cabinet doors thrown to the floor, gaping holes where he thought a refrigerator and stove should have been. Hermione flinched as pieces of debris were still falling, clattering and banging to the ground. A disturbing amount of anger started to rise within him heating his legs and flaming through his chest.
His temper receded when he heard Hermione speak from over his shoulder. "I thought it would be alright since the living room was okay, but when I walked in this…thing fell from the ceiling and rolled off the counter. Before I could even get my wand up the room was filled with smoke and everything in the room just… exploded," she said and pointed to a small red ball, small enough to fit inside his hand, on the floor near their feet. It was plain and metallic looking, no buttons or seams. He kicked it lightly with the toe of his trainer. The red ball rolled away clattering against the rubble. The object didn't seem dodgy having done what it was supposed to do so, ignoring Hermione's small gasp next to him, he picked it up. Turning it over in his hand it felt cold, but at least he didn't feel anything from it, unlike that blasted locket he was forced to wear months ago. He shivered at the thought and pocketed the object.
"I think I'll hold on to this for now and take it back with us. I can give it to dad. I'm sure he knows someone who can take a look at it."
"Oh my god… I'm shaking," Hermione said suddenly, wrapping her arms around her stomach and bending over. Ron grabbed her around the waist and held her close. She trembled in his arms and he assumed it was from shock.
Those bloody fuckers are going to fucking pay for this. If her parents had been here when they came…If Hermione-
"Come on, easy now" Ron said gruffly and turned around swiftly still holding a crying Hermione and steered her out of the room and back to the foyer. He didn't want her to stay looking at that mess any longer than she had to. He was using everything he had to hold his temper in so he wouldn't explode in much the same way the kitchen had. Looking at Hermione's large eyes and the fear and anger behind them helped to calm him down and act on his protective instinct that manifested itself whenever it came to Hermione. He took a deep breath and stroked her back. He froze as his hand met something wet and sticky. The movement made her jump and hiss in pain.
"Turn around," he said spinning her around before she could answer
"Ow, Ron!" She protested and staggered on one leg. "I think something's wrong with my leg, too," she said through sharp breaths.
Ron looked her over and closed his eyes briefly to stem the flow of profanities that wanted to run out of his mouth. Hermione was wearing a blue striped vest with thin straps leaving most of her back exposed and white shorts that went just above the knees. Ron could see a large bruise the size of his fist forming on her shoulder blade with a gash in the middle of it. There was blood seeping onto the edge of her top. He reached out and, as he held his breath, gingerly moved the fabric to the side away from the wound. Her body jumped again at his touch and he quickly withdrew his hand.
"Sorry."
"Is it bad? Ron, please. The pain is getting worse," she whispered her whole body shaking as she choked on her sobs.
"Er yea it's…well it's not that bad actually. It's more of a bruise really," he said trying to sound comforting. Then he saw the long bruise on the back of her right calf that was turning purple. He was grateful there wasn't any bleeding, but he didn't understand how she was able to even stand with these injuries.
Get it together. It's just like you said, not that bad. You can fix this easily.
"Hermione, you should sit down. Let me take a look at you, alright? Do have any dittany with you?"
She nodded her head and pointed to her bag on the floor. Ron helped her into the armchair and ran to the bag. After summoning the flask of dittany he then closed the front door, locking it for good measure.
Ron hurried back to Hermione who was sitting where he left her bent forward with her arms across her lap and her head between her legs, taking short breaths.
"Hermione, love, breathe," Ron said soothingly as he placed the dittany on the floor and dropped down to his knees in front of her. He took her hands in his and rested them on her knees. He felt her squeeze them so tight his knuckles cracked.
Hermione leaned her sweaty forehead on top of their joined hands taking shaky breaths. "I'm spinning," she whispered into his hands, her quick breaths making his crunched knuckles hot.
Ron bent his head down and kissed the top of her curly head. "Shh. It will go away. Concentrate on something. I…I can sing?" he closed his eyes and silently cursed himself for being such a sod. He felt her shoulders shake and heard her sniff loudly.
He frowned and said, "Oi, my voice isn't that bad." He wasn't sure if she was crying or laughing, but he thought he might try humor as a last resort.
"I never heard you sing, Ron," Hermione said as she turned her head so her cheek was resting on his hands. She was no longer crying and her breathing was noticeably slower.
"Be glad for that," he said before he kissed her temple and then her cheek tasting her salty tears.
He brought his body in closer and bent to kiss the skin on her shoulder up to her neck. He saw her eyelashes flutter and her lips part taking in a deep breath. He couldn't resist placing a gently kiss on her lips causing her to lift her head and open her eyes.
"Ouch. Thank you," she winced then smiled weakly down at him.
"Are you okay?" he asked cautiously staring at her face. Her cheeks were flushed still wet from her tears and her hair was a frizzy mess.
"Yeah, I think so," she said clearing her throat and unsticking her hands from his. He smiled at her as he flexed his fingers.
"Good. Let's see to your back then. Bend over again, okay?" She did as he asked as he bent down to retrieve the dittany pouring a liberal amount into his palm.
It was then that they heard a loud bang echo from upstairs. They both snapped their heads toward the stairs then at each other.
"Ron? I did the spell…there's no one else here," she stuttered.
Ron was torn between tending to her back and running up those stairs leaving her behind to check on the noise. He decided to do both.
"Sorry this isn't going to be as gentle as I had hoped," he said before standing up and lathering the handful of dittany on her wound quickly. Hermione cried out gasping. Then he heard her breathing start to slow down as he knew the pain was subsiding. The wound closed, but the bruise was still there.
"It won't do anything for the bruising, but you're no longer bleeding," he said quickly tossing the closed flask of dittany into the bag. "I'll be right back."
She stood up straight and gasped again wincing slightly. "Okay, let's go," she said walking towards the stairs. Ron noticed her suck her breath and limp with every step.
"Right. What I meant to say was I'll be right back and you stay here. I'll go check it out. You can't even walk."
"Yes I can walk, Ron. Don't be ridiculous. We need to find out what that noise was and I am not letting you go up there by yourself," she hissed at him with a grimace. He knew she was trying to hide her pain which made him even more frustrated. He gently, but firmly, sat her back down.
"Hermione. Stay. Here," he said through his teeth and turned around to make his way up the stairs.
"No! You can't just leave me here," she called after him. Her voice sounded desperate and afraid although she was trying to cover it up with anger and stubbornness. He cursed under his breath and walked back down to her, grateful that she at least was still sitting where he left her.
"I am not going to sit down here like some little girl while you play hero. I already told you there's no one in this house. Besides, you've never been here before. You need me to show you where everything is."
She had a point, even if it was a weak one, but Ron was impatient to get up those stairs. Without a word he offered her his hand and helped her out of the chair. As they slowly ascended the stairs he once again had to reign in his urge to talk without thinking.
If she wanted to get blasted again who the hell am I to stand in her way? Oh yea just her bloody fucking boyfriend! If anything else happens to her I'll hex my own bollocks off. Then why am I helping her up the damn stairs up to merlin knows what? Fuck, this woman can make me do anything.
They finally reached the landing and stood still listening for any sign of disturbance. A faint sound like something falling off a shelf came from down the hallway behind a door to their right. Hermione jumped and her hand flew to her chest.
"Bloody hell," she muttered. Normally Ron would tease her, but she looked so fearful that he was too worried about her having another panic attack to say anything about it.
"Hermione-," Ron whispered but was cut off as she shook her head vigorously.
"No. I want to know what's in there…That's my room." She looked up at Ron and he could feel her pleading with her eyes not to argue.
"Alright. Just stay behind me, yeah?"
Hermione nodded and gripped his hand tighter letting him lead her to her room.
"Relax, Hermione," Ron said willing her to stop shaking. He didn't want to admit it, but she was making him more nervous than whatever was inside that room.
"Sorry, I can't help it. I hate feeling like this. I'm so used to fighting, but I can't stop feeling scared.," she whispered as she held her wand tightly in her fist.
"I know. Look I'm sure it's nothing-"
"Whatever, Ron. Just open the door," she interrupted pushing him forward in front of her. He glanced back at her unnerved by her lack of confidence and bravery, both things he was so used to associating with Hermione. He shook it off and turned to push the door open that was already ajar. Unlike the other rooms in the house this one was bright as the sun beamed in through the large bay window. His heart was pounding in anticipation of an explosion similar to one in the kitchen.
As he stepped into the room his eyes adjusted to the bright sun and he noticed that it was a rather large room, bigger than his at the Burrow anyway. A double bed with dark blue covers sat in the corner, a vanity and dresser were set against one wall and a large desk flanked by two large bookcases took up another wall. He was a bit disappointed that it was so plain, but then remembered that Hermione must have cleared everything out that was hers before she left. He saw two more doors and moved closer to study them. One was open revealing a large empty closet and the other was closed. Ron guessed, by the size of the house, that the second one must be a bathroom. He walked carefully toward the closed door and felt Hermione move into the room behind him.
"Look, this must have been what fell," she said from behind the desk carefully bending over and up righting a wooden chair and picking up a book from the floor.
"Don't move, Hermione," Ron hissed and hurried over to Hermione's side. Before he could reach her something large and hairy flew out from under the bed and latched itself onto Hermione's chest.
"Ahhh!" she cried out stumbling back and hitting the desk with her hip.
"What the fuck!" Ron screamed and ran to Hermione pulling on the creature. It wouldn't let go of Hermione's shirt, its claws digging into her chest.
"Wait! Ron wait! Stop!" Hermione yelled as he tugged the animal off of her. She clutched her chest with her hand. Ron heard a hiss and a growl come from the hairy beast that was squirming in his hands.
"Bloody fucking shit!" he exclaimed as the creature bit into his hand causing Ron to reflexively let it go. It scampered back under the bed. "I don't fucking think so you little fucker!" All the anger he had built up all morning was about to be unleashed on this mangy animal. He had had enough for one day.
Ron dropped down to his hands and knees, ignoring the blood that was coming from the bite, and peered angrily under the bed searching for beady eyes so he can yank it out and give it a good beating.
"I said wait!" Hermione yelled as she plopped down on the floor cringing in obvious pain and pulling at Ron's sleeve. "Ron, look! It's only Crookshanks!" Hermione laughed breathlessly letting go of his shirt and edging closer to the bed on her belly.
"Here, boy,' she whispered. "It's just me, Hermione. Come out, its okay."
Ron sat back and watched the scene before him completely gobsmacked. Next thing he knew a large, orangy furball with a squashed face poked its head out and slowly crept toward Hermione's outstretched arms. It jumped and reattached itself to her chest, only this time without claws.
"Ow! Oh you poor thing," she flinched as she sat up then murmured to her pet, "You must have been so scared, weren't you? What are you doing here you sweet thing?"
She really is going off the rails. I should have seen this coming. It's my fault for not seeing it sooner…
Ron couldn't take it anymore. He bent his head to glare into her eyes. "Sweet thing? That…thing just attacked you, Hermione!"
"Oh don't be silly, Ron. Crookshanks would never hurt me," she said smiling into Crookshanks's orange and squashed face.
"Er…actually I think he did," Ron said pointing at her shirt which was torn all the way through revealing long scratches along her chest.
"Oh he was just excited. Weren't you, Crookshanks? Oh thank Merlin it was only you up here," she rubbed her face into the cat's furry back making Ron unexpectedly jealous. Then he saw her shoulders start to shake and realized she was crying.
"Hermione, what's wrong? Okay, you're right. It was only the bloody cat up here. He must have left the Burrow after we did and found his way here. He's smart, like you. Please don't cry," Ron said desperately rubbing his hand down her arm.
"I was so scared," she said hiccupping. "I still am. I'm scared that I'm so scared, Ron. It's not right."
"Why wouldn't it be right? Honestly…I was, too. But we're fine now. How about I check the other rooms and would you please, for all that is magic and holy, stay here with Crookshanks? I'll leave the door open and be really fast, yeah?" Hermione nodded her head this time not protesting. Ron helped her up and sat her on the bed. She was still holding Crookshanks against her chest. He walked to the closed door opening it to see a small, clean and most importantly empty, bathroom. He switched the light on, allowing a second of pride at finding and using the muggle device, and swiftly turned back around to face Hermione.
"I'll be right back. Will you be okay?"
She nodded her head and grimaced at him. Ron knew her back and leg was still sore and now she had fresh new scratches on her chest he needed to tend to. He smiled and gave her a quick kiss on her lips before leaving the room and bounding down the stairs. He grabbed their bags from the foyer and ran back upstairs to Hermione's room giving her the dittany so she can apply it to her cuts. After dropping their bags on the floor he made quick work of checking the rest of the bedrooms, bathrooms and closets on the second floor. He also found the door to the attic and climbed up quickly, careful of any signs of a trap. The attic looked more like an entire flat to him, not like the attic he had back at the Burrow that came complete with its own ghoul. He was once again taken aback at the sheer amount of space that was available for only three people. He didn't dare dream what a house like this would have meant for his childhood.
When he finally stepped back into Hermione's room he felt winded trying to catch his breath. "Buggering hell. This is a…big house," he panted then walked to the bed sitting down carefully as to not shift Hermione. She was sitting in the same spot on the bed where he left her with Crookshanks in her lap purring as she stroked its back. The cuts on her chest were healed and Ron was grateful for that at least.
"Did you see anything else? I didn't hear anything, but you would tell me if you found something, right? Any traces of dark magic or…or something strange like a red ball…I should go check," she went to move the heavy cat off her lap, but Ron took her hand and pulled her back down.
"I promise I didn't find anything. No red balls. Nothing. I reckon they found out no one was home and just rigged that explosion as an afterthought. I dunno, but there is nothing else that I found to be faulty in this place. There are way too many bathrooms though, but that could be a good thing," he finished, smiling at her. He grinned wider when she saw a trace of a smile on her face.
"I know. The house is a bit large, isn't it?" Hermione rolled her eyes and looked down at her fingers that were combing through Crookshanks's long ginger hairs.
"It is, but I love it. From what I can see as I tore through the place it's actually really warm and very…Granger-like," he finished lamely. Hermione let out a laugh then immediately hissed and closed her eyes in pain.
"Sorry," he said rubbing her shoulder. "How about you get a change of clothes since this one ripped it all up and I'll run you a bath?" Ron glared down at the sleeping cat silently sending it death threats.
"That sounds lovely. There should be some bath salts under the sink that you can add to the water," Hermione said and gently moved Crookshanks off of her. Ron helped her stand up and went to the bathroom while she grabbed a change of clothes from her bag.
She sat on the edge of tub watching Ron open the taps and fill the tub with water. He glanced over at her and smiled. She looked so peaceful in that moment as watched the bath salts that he just added dissolve into swirling water.
"Alright then, up with you. We can't have Hermione soup without the main ingredient, yeah?" he chuckled and helped her to her feet. She swatted his arm and winced.
"Ron! Don't make me laugh. It hurts, you know," she said with a tight smile.
"Sorry, but how is being salty going to help anyway?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes and made a moaning sound that he guessed substituted for laughter. He didn't want her in any more pain, but hearing her moan was doing things to his body that made him want to strip her down right there and shag her up against the sink. He knew that was not going to happen so he concentrated instead on easing her pain and worrying about his hormones later.
"It's not actually salt, Ron. It's just good for your skin and muscles. Helps them relax."
"Whatever you say, Hermione. Do you need help with your er…clothes? Taking them off I mean?" He didn't know why he was suddenly so nervous. They already seen each other's bits and shagged just yesterday. Maybe it was the fact that she was looking up at him with her big brown eyes looking like a small innocent looking doe who just wandered into a meadow while he felt like a randy wanker who wanted to grab her tits.
"Can you? I don't think I can raise my arms too high," she said relaxing her arms down at her sides waiting for him to disrobe her, trusting him to take care of her.
Ron reached out and ran his hands through her hair pushing it back over her shoulders. "Just relax and I'll be gentle," he said and noticed her bite her lip at his words. He took the bottom of her tattered top in both hands and slowly rolled it up her torso away from her back, over her head and down off her arms. She shook her hair back and Ron tried not to look down as he turned her around to unclasp her ripped bra sending it to the floor to join her top. He walked around to her front and slid her shorts and knickers down together not looking away from her face once. He noticed her cheeks turn red and her lips part as she breathed and moaned with every movement. He knew it was mostly from pain, but the lower half of his body didn't know the difference.
"Ron," she breathed and placed her hands on his shoulders as she stood there naked in front of him.
"Yeah," he whispered back feeling his own breath quicken. He stood up and brought his hands up to rest on her forearms not trusting himself to touch her anywhere else. "Hermione, I need to help you in the bath, alright?"
She dropped her hands and he saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes before she turned to the tub. He couldn't help but look at her backside as he helped her into the water and felt his jeans get considerably tighter. When she got settled in he turned to leave.
"Where are you going?" He heard a splash and turned back to see Hermione sitting up straight and staring at him with her breasts on display dripping with foamy water.
He mentally groaned and searched his head for an excuse. "I…I'm going to see about fixing up the kitchen. You should soak for a while so I wanted to get a head start on the clean up." His brief mental pat on the back for coming up with a valid explanation was thwarted when he saw her look down and frown.
"Oh…alright.," she said quietly and sat back in the water letting it cover her body like a wavy blanket up to her chin. "I might need your help getting out so don't take too long."
"Call if you need me," he said and placed her wand on the edge of the tub next to her head.
He grabbed his wand from the bed and made his way down to the kitchen. He didn't exactly want to leave her upstairs alone, but being in the same room with Hermione's wet naked body was not conducive to his mental state. He might as well do something productive with all that pent up energy so he went to work levitating and repairing the broken cabinets and chairs and table. He had no idea how the Grangers had arranged the dining furniture or island or appliances, but he did the best he could. He will ask Hermione what to do with the rest later. As he thought about Hermione he suddenly realized he didn't know how long he was down in the kitchen. He looked at his empty wrist and heard Hermione's voice in his head huffing at him to get his own watch. He swore under his breath as he ran from the kitchen and up the stairs to Hermione's room.
"Herm-" He halted in the doorway when he saw her laying on her side in the middle of her bed wearing denim shorts and a plain white tank. Her hair and clothes were wet as if she just stepped out of the bath and got dressed without drying. "You should have called for me. I would have helped you," he said walking towards her. She looked at him passively. "How are you feeling? Are the bruises better? Let me see," he said when she didn't answer and reached for the edge of her shirt. She pushed his hand away and shook her head.
"The bath was fine. I feel a lot better, so don't worry, okay?" she said shortly. He noticed her grimace when she moved. Why was she trying to hide her pain? Again?
"Hermione, I can tell it still hurts. Why won't you let me look at it?" he asked going to his knees on the floor and studying her face up close. He was taken aback when he saw tears streaming from her eyes.
"I'm…fine!" Hermione yelled and turned away from him to her other side. She spoke without looking back. "I know you would rather be somewhere else so just… find another room so you won't have to look at me, okay?" she said icily.
Ron jumped, surprised by her outburst. "I…I'm sorry. I just want to help."
He could see her shoulders shaking and when she didn't answer he put one knee on the bed then the other climbing up to kneel on the bed behind her. He had no idea what was actually going on or what he was doing, but she was no longer yelling so he took that as a good sign.
"Hermione, you need to tell me what is going on. Now," he spoke low, but firm. He was not going to accept that she was fine anymore. He didn't care how put out she felt.
'I said-"
"No," he interrupted and shook his head even though he knew she couldn't see him. "I know you're…angry at me for something, but there's more to it than that, isn't there?" he asked choosing his words carefully.
She sat up suddenly and turned to glare at him. Ron felt his body tingle in anticipation. A panic attack he could probably handle, but this felt very different to him. He's seen her angry before, many times having caused it, but he noticed a fear behind her eyes that was unnerving him. He stared at her carefully while she spoke. "You just…couldn't get away from me fast enough…could you? I saw how you…looked at me. Just like after…never mind." She stopped and looked away glaring down at her trembling hands and shoving them under her legs.
"No way in hell never mind. Spit it out. Looked at you after what?" Ron urged her to continue. He knew Hermione was good at masking her real emotions in order to spare others the trouble, but that wasn't how he operated. He dealt better when everything was out in the open. If he was going to help her overcome whatever it is that she was going through he needed full disclosure.
"After M-Malfoy Manor, okay?" she choked out, new tears falling from her eyes. "You looked at me like I was…broken. With pity. Then you couldn't stand to look at me. I…I was damaged to you," she slapped a shaking hand over her chest and gulped in a breath in order to speak again. He felt like he should stop her before she hyperventilated, but he sat back and listened not wanting her to stop since she was finally opening up to him. "I tried to put what happened to the back of my mind, but watching you the way you left the bathroom earlier, not wanting to be near me, all those memories are coming back. It was horrible in that place, Ron. I don't want to think about it. I can't!" she gasped in air and squeezed her eyes shut rocking back and forth. It was like she was physically back in time reliving that moment and it broke Ron's heart.
Ron sat stunned for a full second before rushing to her side and gathering her in his arms. He was aware he might be making her injuries worse, but he needed to hold her close, for her to feel his arms around her. He thought about what she said and the rising temper inside of him grew two fold.
"You're right. I couldn't look at you, but not because I didn't want to. When I looked at you all I could hear was you screaming while that fucking bitch tortured you and how I couldn't do anything to stop it. It wasn't on purpose that I was distant, but it was the only way I could focus without wanting rip my bloody hair out," Ron said and held on tighter letting the air from his lungs out slowly. Hermione continued to gasp and sob simultaneously into his neck while clutching onto the front of his shirt.
"I never want you to feel like I don't want you or that I pity you. I love you, remember?" he said hoping it was enough to convince her. He didn't trust himself to speak again and risk falling apart himself. He sat there running his hands up and down her arms firmly. She bent forward over his lap, her head on his knee and tucked her small form into his body. He smoothed his hands over her, anywhere he can reach while avoiding her injured back and leg.
"Hearing you scream my name is what helped me through it, Ron," he heard her whisper from his lap. He sighed with relief after hearing her speak. "And I don't blame you…I wouldn't want to look at me either. It didn't stop from making me feel awful, though. I didn't want you to look at me differently. Not when things were already so strained between us," she said as she sat up slowly and wiped at her eyes. "Sorry I lost it just now. My head just went back there and…it was all too much."
Ron took her face in his hands and swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "Do you want to talk about it? About what happened?"
"I don't really want to talk anymore. Can we just forget it?" she said quickly, extracting herself from his arms. He reluctantly let her go with a knot in his chest. He wanted to respect her wishes, but he was having a hard time not knowing for sure if she was alright, especially after such a tremendous outburst. He watched as she shimmied off the bed to stand shakily on the floor. He went to the edge of the bed and gently pulled her back down on his lap. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Hermione…" he started to tell her something that had been weighing on his mind for the past week and didn't know how to tell her. He wanted to wait for the right moment, but after what just happened he knew he had to tell her.
"There's a takeout place around the corner and I have some muggle money. We could get something there and bring it back?" Hermione said lifting her head up. She gave him a look asking him to drop the subject and move on. He wished he could, but not just yet. He stared at her deciding the best way to start.
She looks calm enough now. Do I tell her now or do I wait? I would like to keep my arse still attached to my body, but if I wait it's going to be too late and she'll really be angry at me. Might as well get it over with.
"That sounds great, love," he said hoping the endearment will soften her a bit. "But before we go I need to tell you something."
When all she did was look at him blankly he decided to just say it. "Remember the morning before we left for Australia, while I was upstairs getting my stuff?"
"As I recall you didn't get much of anything as you forgot half of your things," Hermione said with a smirk. He smiled feebly at her and cleared his throat.
"Right. Well I might have been distracted because I was actually sending an owl…to St. Mungos…for you…" he looked sideways at her to gauge her reaction. Her face turned from smiling to confusion then to a frown as she realized what he was saying.
"How-What…Why would you do that?" she said pushing away from him to stand with her hands on her hips. She tapped her foot waiting for him to answer. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. "You had no right! Didn't you trust me to do that on my own? I am not a child, Ron! I can take care of myself!"
"I know…but," Ron stuttered rising to his feet. "It's also my job to take care of you, isn't it? And you just finished telling me that you didn't want to talk about it. You just wanted to forget. I might not be as smart as you or as emotional, but I know when something is eating you up. I can't just sit around and wait for something worse to happen-"
"What do you think is going to happen, Ron?" Hermione yelled as she paced in front of him her limp less pronounced. "What could-"
"You could hurt yourself for one," Ron blurted out. She stopped mid-step and they stared at each other. He wasn't sure where that thought came from, but as soon as he said it he realized that it was a real fear he had in the back of his mind.
Hermione opened her mouth then closed it looking dumbfounded.
"I didn't mean-"
"Yes…you did," Hermione said slowly. She walked over to Ron and peered up at him. He sucked in his breath suddenly feeling incredibly vulnerable. "Why would you think such a terrible thing?" she asked softly without an ounce of anger in her voice.
"I don't know," Ron said looking away and sitting on the bed. "We've all been through so much, but as much as I try to be here for you I just feel like it's not enough sometimes. I've heard of bad things happening to people when they're not…well. Not to say you're not. It's just after your panic attacks and just now- I'm worried about you…mentally. Fucking hell. I don't know what's going on and it scares the shit out of me."
Hermione sat down next to him, their sides touching and took his hand in hers. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I can't seem to handle myself as well as everyone else. I have no idea why, but…Ron, I really don't like that you went behind my back," she said in a low voice. He tilted his head to watch her as she spoke to their hands. "However, I think I know you well enough to say that you had good intentions. I also know how honest you are, which is why I reacted that way. This isn't like you, Ron."
"I know and I'm so-"
"Don't be sorry. I know you are, but please don't be. I'm not…well. I haven't been for a while. I feel awful for making you feel you had to do that. You're right. I didn't intend to see a Healer. I just didn't want to-"
"Don't say you're a burden. For fuck's sake don't even say it," Ron said squeezing her hand and shaking his head. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel guilty for feeling things she had no control over.
"Okay I won't say it, but I can't help feeling like it when all I seem to do is make you worry," she said and blew out a long breath. "Alright, I'll go. When is it for?"
He stared back at her, surprised by her change of tone. "Er… I'm not sure. I sent it asking for an appointment for sometime in mid-August. I wasn't sure how long we would be gone. There should be an answer when we get back. Do you mean it? You'll see a Healer? Are you sure?"
"Yes, I mean it this time. No more hiding, right? No more secrets?" she asked. He could see the sincerity in her eyes and smiled, grateful that they were once again able to talk things through and come out the other side still intact.
"I'm a lucky prat, aren't I?" he asked. They both nodded knowing what direction that conversation could have gone.
"And I just want to make it very clear that I would never, ever hurt myself. Ever. Okay?" Hermione said firmly looking into his eyes.
Ron nodded and leaned in to kiss her. They both sighed against each other's mouths and deepened the kiss feeling the other one's emotions through their lips and hands that were still clasped together. Hermione pulled away first and ran her hand through his hair.
"I love you, Hermione. I'm sorry I can't be better at this," he said then leaned his forehead against hers.
"Whatever you think you're supposed to be better at you already are," she said and brought her hands up to his neck, her thumbs circling his jaw. "I love you too much to stay angry at you, especially for doing something that came from your heart. I'm the one who should be sorry for garnering all this attention when you lost so much more than I did."
"We all did," Ron said and pulled her in an embrace. "Thank you for not hexing my bollocks off. I appreciate that," he said earnestly. Hermione's shoulders shook with laughter and she squeezed him tighter.
She sniffed the last of her tears away and cleared her throat. "You're insufferable sometimes, but I love you."
"I just want us to be good. Are we still good?"
Hermione pulled away and nodded up at him. This was enough to make him sigh with relief.
"Well I've had enough of all the dramatics for today, how about you?" Hermione said smoothing back her hair and putting on a smile. "Let's eat and get this house up and running so we can relax, yeah? I think I'm good enough to walk outside. There's a takeout place we can go to that's near here."
Ron grinned and kissed her temple before standing up, bringing her with him. "Brilliant, I'm starved. Let me use the muggle money this time. I need to practice," he said.
"As long as you don't say the word 'muggle' then you can do any transaction you want," Hermione said and grabbed her bag as they walked out of the room.
…
A/N: Hey you're still here! That's awesome thanks! Now I always told myself I would not beg for reviews and I stand by that, but it would be really neat to hear from those of you who are reading and not commenting to know what you think. Even if you say something like 'bath salts are icky'. (I happen to hold that same opinion.)
Next chapter will continue where this one left off, on the same night. You can make lemonade with the next chapter. Actually no. You can have a lemonade stand on the hottest day in Summer and make a killing with next chapter's lemons. It's THAT lemony.