I can't remember the last time I was nervous for any sort of sport. I can't recall how long ago it was that I couldn't eat, couldn't breathe, and couldn't speak properly. I can't remember when the last time I'd gotten this unnerved was, or how long it lasted. I can't remember the feeling of worrying about defeat. I can't remember how to cope with my anxiety right now. "Alex, are you okay?" My head is resting firmly in my hands. I'm half afraid that it'll fall off from all the spinning thoughts that reside in the murky depths of my mind.
"Yes." I reply in not-so-fluent Japanese. "Perfectly fine." My heart is thundering. My blood is racing. I don't want to lose this match, no matter what. I also don't want my teammates to suffer, and I don't want to recall what it's like to become a human punching bag once more. So why is it, with just a few minutes until the start of the game, that I'm shaking like a leaf? Why do I feel dizzy and worried? Why am I toying with the idea of running away? This team isn't better than we are. This team is inferior in every way possible. My chest constricts as I draw in a sudden breath.
"Alex, your Japanese is seriously suffering." Imayoshi says beside me as I begin assessing the other team more seriously. My mind is speeding at a million miles per hour.
"Too bad." I say with another anxious sigh. "You remember what we talked about?" The captain sighs and nods. "Remember to tell me if it comes to that."
"I don't like that you're doing this." Satsuki says anxiously beside me. However scared she may be, it isn't as bad as how I feel. "How did you get Aomine-kun to not come?" I snort.
"That didn't take any effort. I told him that this team was weak, and that I was only going so I could practice dunks." I say as I collect myself. Now isn't the time to be afraid. Now is the time to pull myself together and remember that I'm good at what I do. "Daiki went right back to sleep. He won't wake until the game is nearly over, so he shouldn't even show."
My hands curl into fists as my fingers shake. "I hope nobody gets shipped off." I mutter. I've always hated underhanded playing, even though I've tolerated it from other teams. "Anyway, no matter what happens, don't take me off the court if you can help it. If I get an injury, slap a Band-Aid or a brace on that bad boy and we'll be good to go." I look at Satsuki more firmly. "I'm dead serious, Satsuki. Only take me off if I break something. Bruises and bleeding don't matter to me."
"Fine." Satsuki says tightly. "But remember what you promised. We're using those in the second half." I frown as I watch the other team practice. I take a few deep breaths and nod confidently. I can feel my anxiety melting away as I get my head set on straight. I adjust my ponytail and take the bobby pins that are clinging hopefully onto my shirt into my hand.
"This seems like single bobby pin problem." I say firmly, clipping my bangs to the side. "Wouldn't you say so, Satsuki?"
"I'd give it a two." She says. I don't see the other team's coach, and frown.
"That sounds a bit generous." I say, pulling my bangs free and pinning them out of my face with two bobby pins. "But it sounds about right for what I'm going to do." Wakamatsu gives me a strange look as I stretch my arms out. "Man, I miss my softball. I feel like bouncing something until the game starts."
It's more than a bit surprising to find Imayoshi messing with my softball as he tosses it in the air and watches it bounce. "This isn't what you guys usually play with, right?" He says, tossing it back to me. I catch it with a smirk.
"Nah. This one's really bouncy, like a tennis ball. I wanted to be able to throw it against something and have it bounce back to me without too much trouble." I reply with a grin, bouncing it against the ground. "I had to adjust the weight, though. Filled it with some sand and such." For a moment, Imayoshi almost looks impressed. Then he just goes back to his usual, smug expression. I toss the ball absentmindedly as I study the other team a bit more.
"You have their stats, right? You can assign marks and such. Don't give any plays. Let us play at will." I say after a few more minutes. "I don't want anything given away if we can help it." Satsuki gives a noise of affirmation as a wicked grin splits across my face. "I hope we crush them." Something unfamiliar boils in my chest as I glance back to Satsuki.
"Well," she says with a tired sigh, "they didn't tease you the way they did for nothing, you know."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Wakamatsu nearly bellows. He really doesn't know how to use his 'inside voice'.
"The Chinese believe in dragons." I say with a wicked look on my face. "You all believe in demons."
"Both teams, please have your players line up!" I sigh, adjust my ponytail once more, and give Satsuki an uneasy glance which we both share for a few heartbeats. Then my game face slides on with practiced ease. To have to go against this guy right from the get-go... This will be harder than I let on. Let's hope nobody gets sent to the hospital today.
My eyes glide over the power guard as I stand opposite him, ready for tipoff as the familiar boy grins down at me. "Been a while, Hai-chan." I stifle a snarl of fury as I get ready for the jump.
"Not long enough, Hanamiya." I reply back evenly, narrowing.
"How does your ankle feel? Sore?" A smirk curls my lip cruelly.
"Better than ever." I reply with a grin.
"Never did like it when you smiled." I bounce up to snatch the ball from thin air and dart past Hanamiya and his longhaired friend. It takes a few moments for Sakurai to catch up, but he shoots a three-pointer in my stead. I turn in time to see Imayoshi receive a strong jab to the rib, and Sakurai a particularly hard stomp on the foot. My temper flares slightly.
It takes all my concentration just to play for myself, dodging stray elbows and particularly volatile knees. It takes all my concentration to ignore the grunts of pain I'm hearing. This will continue, I'm sure, but my ability to ignore it won't. I'm already seeing everything, wondering absentmindedly how I can wreak havoc as I shoot a two-pointer and avoid a blow to the head. My anger is rising slowly, but I'm able to keep it down for now. "How does it feel to know that they're taking blows for you?" Hanamiya says as I screen him.
I don't answer him, and receive a jab to the neck before darting to steal the ball. My fingers are itching to strangle Hanamiya by the time the first quarter is done. My next job during our two-minute break is to assess how everyone is fairing. It's about as well as I had expected. The boys aren't used to such rough play, and Sakurai and Imayoshi seem to be targeted the most so far. I grit my teeth. "Calm down, Alex." Satsuki says as I glance at Hanamiya. "If you lose your temper, it all goes down the drain."
"I'll have to adjust the way I play again." I say, running scenarios through my head. "But I can't cover everyone very well." I glance at Satsuki. "I need their attention. Do something that'll grab at least Hanamiya's attention. I want him to think I've lost my temper already." Apparently, the pinkette was already thinking along the same lines. She doesn't need to be told twice, but my temper almost comes through at her actions.
Pain explodes in my cheek as my head turns, the sharp noise of a slap echoing through my head. I glare at the floor when I turn back. "That was harder than I anticipated." I say, gritting my teeth and covering my surprised expression with anger.
"Sorry, but it did get Hanamiya's attention. He looks rather happy." I gulp down some water.
"Now I just need to catch all of his attention." I say, rubbing my sore cheek. "You can't lose your temper. It'll make you rely on simple plays, and he can read those without any effort at all." Imayoshi and Sakurai look pretty bad. "I can get them off your back, but if I do so, you cannot complain whatsoever. Complain and I'll personally whoop your ass."
"You're not-"
"I am." I reply coolly. "Don't you remember?" A sly grin cuts across my face for a fraction of a second. "Don't get angry and don't complain." The two-minute break is over in just a few more heartbeats as my teammates stare at me with unreadable expressions.
It doesn't take long for my will to take effect. Double screens are difficult even for me, but it gets worse when I get blows from both sides and feel like crumpling. My temper won't let me fall, and my patience will only let me endure. I break free after a few more moments to aid in a pass before I get clipped rather forcefully in the back of my head. Over the next few minutes, my ribs receive rather forceful blows, and my knees and ankles are threatening to buckle. My head is tender to the touch when I rub the back of my head. My temper is wearing thin, but I promised to keep it contained, so I do so.
Hanamiya is a sadistic bastard. He has no reason to guide his teammates for a triple screen, something that shouldn't even be necessary with the way the others are playing, but he does so anyway. I don't know how much longer I can take the unnecessary punishment, but I keep my lips sealed and my temper buried under years of self-control. It takes me forever to get open again, and when I start to play more aggressively, Sakurai receives more blows than necessary. I go back to the way I'd played earlier in the quarter.
"Touou's time out!" The ref calls as I'm trapped in another double screen. I get hit in the back of the head as I get back to my team.
"Alex, if you continue to play like this, you'll completely destroy yourself. I know I said I'd trust you on this, but look at you!" I give the pinkette a blank stare. I notice vaguely that we're about the same height.
"It's going as predicted. There's no need to change anything until the end of the quarter." I reply flatly. My chest is starting to ache slightly, and pain is shooting up and down my limbs. "If we can keep our tempers in check, the game will be ours." Satsuki grits her teeth at my statement before grabbing my shoulder. Without thinking, I swat her hand away and step back. "Please don't touch me."
"Alex..." Satsuki grits her teeth once more as I give her a hard stare back, warning her to remain silent. "What would Daiki tell you?"
"I don't care." I hiss in return. "Let this continue. There's only another five minutes. I've had worse." Just like that, I somehow manage to convince Satsuki that she won't change my mind no matter what she tells me. My lip curls in dissatisfaction as I glance at the score. We need more. "If you guys can score more, I'll keep a couple of them in check."
Five minutes pass in excruciating laziness as I manage to keep three of the other team's players screening me. There's only five seconds left when one of them topples over on me, driving their elbow into my face as I'm crushed beneath them. I can't really recall whom it was who fell, other than a pair of dead eyes, but once the quarter ends, they still aren't up, and I'm dying to catch my breath. It takes Wakamatsu to finally shove him off as I gasp for breath and roll to the side, coughing up a storm.
It takes me a while longer to collect myself and stand unsteadily, my gaze locked with Hanamiya's. He's finally sealed his fate, and looks completely surprised when a rather roguish expression cross my face once I start to laugh, grinning rather toothily as I make my way back to the bench. "First half for data collection." I say with an impish expression once I sit down. "Second half to put their plan into effect."
"You're crazy, aren't you?" Wakamatsu says. "A masochist?" I give him a scathing glare.
"No, although they're both possibilities." I reply with a sigh. "Satsuki, have you come to your decision?" Satsuki looks more conflicted than I've ever seen her. "I can take it, if that's what you're worried about."
"But... he's the one who..."
"Yes, he is." I reply flatly, risking a glare. "But I am not in middle school, and I am not scared anymore. Last time that happened because I lost my temper and walked right into what I had coming. This time is different. I'm not scared of underhanded playing, and I am more than capable of bearing pain." My lips curve into a smile. "If he thinks he can squish me, he should already know I have a tenacious will."
"Very well. Can you continue as you are for the third quarter?" I nod firmly, drinking some water and wiping my face of sweat. "Please do so. We will save that for the fourth quarter."
"Do we get to know what's going on?" Susa asks suddenly. "I mean, you're covered in bruises and you're still planning on playing?"
"I once played a nine inning softball game at catcher with a dislocated shoulder. I've gotten kicked with metal spikes and stepped on more times than I can count." I say firmly. "This is nothing I can't take. Don't underestimate me, please. The fourth quarter will bring them hell." I crack my knuckles.
"Then I suppose we'll finally get to see the Demon in action." Imayoshi muses, his eyes slanting slightly with interest. "Although you have a rather roundabout way of wreaking havoc."
"If you're going to lead someone on, it's best to do it properly." I reply easily, smirking. "For now, please score as much as you can. I can keep them busy for another ten minutes for you."
"Let's bandage what we can, then." Coach Harasawa has been unusually silent, allowing Satsuki and I to dictate the game as we wish. "You're of no use if you can't move." We ice the back of my head for as long as we can as my knees are taped and any little scrapes are cleaned. The third quarter starts after another six minutes, and I do my best to occupy the court with as much presence as possible, drawing Dead Eyes, Long Hair, and Carrot Top in the process.
I can absolutely promise you that elbows are the bane of my existence, right after pain medicine and metal cleats and a certain softball coach. Several whack me continuously as I search for ways to keep their attention. It doesn't take much. I'm pretty sure that all I need to do is breathe and they'll try gutting me with their elbows. Several times I wonder what will happen if I throw up on the court. It takes all my patience to remember not to hit them back and to not go after the ball.
After a few minutes, I have to escape the triple screen to avoid throwing up only to get squished by Hanamiya. I can't even begin to describe the sudden agony that flared from my ankle up as it jerked one way and then another as the taller male fell atop me. I have to force him off me as I tug my ankle a safe distance from him, grabbing it as tears blur my vision. "Time out!"
"Hai-chan!" Sakurai shakes me slightly as I curl into myself. "Hai-chan, are you okay?" I almost sob after hearing that.
"Brace." I squeak, fending off the urge to wail. "Satsuki knows where it is. I want both. Now." I wipe my face before standing jerkily and trying my hardest not to cry again. "Satsuki!" I raise my voice to catch her attention and hold up two fingers. Her eyes widen before she dives into my bag and has Imayoshi practically toss me over his shoulder to get me to the bench.
It's already swelling when I take off my shoe, so I dunk it into some ice water and then slip it over my ankle. My second, more rigid brace, is one that I don't use often. It doesn't really inhibit my playing ability, but I don't normally need something like that. A trainer from the school tries to look at my ankle, but I tell them not quite so politely to buzz off. "Satsuki." I say quietly, rising to my feet. "It's now or never." I look at my teammates. "Sorry, but you'll have to fend for yourself for the rest of the game."
"Don't kill them." Satsuki says wearily. I crack a furious grin.
"No promises. I want to crush them." I reply.
"Doubt you can." She jabs not so subtly. It does the trick either way, so I don't really care.
"Watch me." I say with a grin. "He's ideal prey." Two pain pills and I'm good as new, ready to work. Now all I have to do is not spill too much blood.