Battle of the Sexes

Thanks for all the reviews, as always! They really help and encourage me to write more. I hope you enjoy the next chapter! (btw the ninja bit REALLY happened while I was on a ski trip in Austria. Basically, a friend and I got lost in the FREEZING COLD, about 7/8 miles from our resort, with heavy skis we couldn't carry. We called our teacher on his emergency number 6 TIMES and he never answered! Eventually we made our own way back to the bus stop (getting lost a couple of times) and found our bus driver, who took us to our teacher. Yeah, anyway, back to the ninja thing- when we got back we found out that the boys in our friendship group HAD my friend's number but SAID she didn't have her phone. She DID. So, naturally, we went to their room to kill them. On the way, another friend of ours decided to be a ninja- rolling down the stairs and generally being silly. In the middle of a kickass ninja roll, she stopped… because she'd crashed into our teachers legs. She just looked up and went "Hello.")
…..

"Linda, you genius!" Aoife smiled.

Linda looked pleased with herself… then Aoife finished her sentence.

"I mean, its practically flawless! An angry Dr Nichols, in a small space with Dr Kent… with needles…"

"And scalpels…" Tamsin joined in.

"And potentially dangerous medication…" Ash joined in.

"Okay! Okay, I get it! We'll take everything out the cupboard beforehand!"

"Tess is gunna love you for that," Noel smiled.

"And Zoe will enjoy having two members of her staff held prisoner in a cupboard…" Ash grinned.

He was beginning to enjoy this…

But, like all great organisations, there was a traitor in the mix.

…..

Lloyd rose from his chair.

"Yeah, well, I've got to go- I promised Tess I'd be in this… meeting… so, uh, yeah… bye."

He left the room, and everyone sat, in silence, staring after him.

"Well, that a bullshit." Aoife murmured, when he was out of earshot.

"Let's follow him…" Tamsin smirked.

…..

The group crept out the room in a long line, hiding behind each other. All of a sudden, Aoife (who was in the front of the line,) stopped. The rest of the group all crashed into each other.

"Ow! Dixie, that was my foot!"
"Watch it!"
"ARGH!"

Jeff fell onto the laundry trolley that had been abandoned by the B&B owner, and it flew backwards, all the way along the corridor… until he crashed into the lift doors.

"If any of you ever consider a career in MI5, let me give you a little bit of advice- reconsider, quickly."

The group groan and mumble, but they were soon interrupted by Aoife.

"He's headed to the ED! He's going to tell someone!"

"Who?" Fletch asked, frowning.

"Zoe wouldn't listen to him." Linda nodded.

"Not Zoe- TOM! He's working today!"

"The sneaky, lying, son-of-a…" Tamsin grew angrier and angrier, until Dixie rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Tamz, we'll get him before he can."

The group followed Lloyd, all the way to the ED.

…..

They saw him walk up to Tom, who was stood outside.

"Hey, Tom, you'll never guess what…"

Jamie stood up from behind the car they were all hiding behind.

"Hey! Lloyd, Can you… um… help me with something? Tess wants me to… erm… well, she's arranged this scenario for me, Robyn and Aoife…"

The two girls stood up, too.

"Hello…" Robyn smiled.

The rest of the group struggled not to giggle at them.

"Er, yeah, sure… just give me a second, Jamie…"

"No, now."

"You'd better go, Lloyd, we'll talk afterwards." Tom smiled, heading back inside.

"If I haven't ripped out his tongue before then…" Louise, who was behind the car, growled.

…..

Meanwhile, Zoe was in her office. It had been a stressful week, what with Tom and Sam and the rest of her staff… and Ash being a complete ass… something needed to be done. Ash had to go. She called Tess and Charlie into her office.

"Hello, this is more serious than I thought…" Charlie muttered, as he and Tess reached the door at the same time.

They could see Zoe, sitting at her desk, looking PISSED OFF. Slightly scared, Charlie opened the door, letting Tess hide behind him.

"Dr Hanna, what seems to be the problem?" Charlie asked.

"Dr Ashford. HE'S the problem."

"Uh oh…" Tess murmured.

"What?!"

"Well, I agree with you totally, but given how immature Ash was about the Dr Nichols vs Dr Kent scenario…" Tess began to explain.

"I can see this turning into another war." Charlie finished. "So, may I make a suggestion- before this turns into another egg-throwing, attack of the crazy sheep etc. etc."

"Go ahead." Zoe grimaced.

"Solve this war first, so you have an empty battleground for this one…"

"And a bigger army. If you were to tell Ash off now, he's still got the men on his side. If you were to wait, then the loyalty to you will come back. Ash won't be able to pull one of his popularity tricks on you." Tess finished Charlie's explanation for him.

"Okay," Zoe sighed, "I'm with you. But how do I solve the war?"

"Well, I guess you force them to talk about it. But before that, I think you need to sort one teeny, tiny problem out." Charlie looked out the door.

"What's that?" Zoe asked, confused.

"Tamsin, Aoife, Linda, Fletch and Robyn may be about to commit murder…"

…..

Tamsin, Aoife, Linda, Fletch and Robyn weren't going to commit murder… Dixie and Jeff were stood by the door to make sure things didn't get too out of hand. But Lloyd was in deep, deep trouble.

"You lying bastard…" Aoife hissed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, Lloyd, we know what you were going to tell Tom. Don't you WANT this fight to end?"

"Dr Nichols is still to blame, if you ask me." Lloyd frowned.

"Yeah, well no one DID ask you. So shut up and sit down." Linda scowled.

Lloyd sat on the bed, looking frightened.

"Right, Lloyd-y boy, let's have a little chat about loyalty, eh?" Tamsin smirked, moving closer to the bed.

Lloyd whimpered.

…..

"I'm going to scan the perimeter for rogue weasels…" Aoife muttered, leaving the room.

In truth, she had just seen Robyn and wanted to let her know what was going on.

"Hey! Robyn, guess what! Lloyd went to tell Tom all about our plan- we were right! Tams is gonna get him."

"Good!" Robyn smiled, "You'd better keep an eye out for the boss…"

Aoife smirked, and headed to Zoe's office… ninja style. She snuck towards it in a ridiculous crouch, rolling now and again and humming the mission: impossible theme tune. She went to roll, ninja style, towards the boss' door… Unfortunately, Zoe was just leaving her office. Aoife stopped mid-roll, and tripped Zoe over.

"ARGH!" the boss cried as she fell on top of Aoife.

The ED became a mix of gasps, giggles and whispers.

…..