I hadn't even thought about sleeping, I couldn't. Somehow I had managed to get the boys fed, bathed, dressed and in bed asleep without any complaints or quarrels they hadn't even argued once during the day or night. I couldn't bring myself to sleep in Lawliet's and my bed, not while I could smell him all around the room, I could still smell him on his clothes that I couldn't bring myself to take off. I sat in his chair resting a glass of scotch on my knee, I had never even drank before tonight but the aching in my heart was too much, the boys were missing him like crazy and after finding the information that we did earlier, and seeing what was on the surveillance tape was a lot to take in, it was a struggle to even begin to comprehend it all. I had no idea that Lawliet was in this much pain; I couldn't imagine how it must have been for him to have to keep this bottled up because he didn't want to put anyone else at risk. I didn't know why B was after Lawliet, I didn't know what the circumstances were but I was going to find out and I was going to find a way of locating and getting back my lover. I honestly didn't know what to think if he was dead, if Lawliet had died because of B, B was going to wish he was never born, he was going to wish that he never taken Lawliet and he was going to beg me for a quick death because if B had done anything to Law' to harm him I was going to make sure he paid dearly for it, Shinigami blood or not I was not going to back down.

What I hadn't understood was, if B was the one Lawliet had been talking about the night before, the one he had thought he had thought he had been responsible for killing and if Lawliet had received prior notice that B would be coming back for revenge in order for him to start the conversation he had with me then why did Lawliet still feel guilty for something he clearly hadn't done? What was a missing? could it be that he had been talking about someone else and not B? There had to be a reason why B had decided to go after Lawliet there was a piece of the puzzle missing that I still couldn't put together, there was something I had overlooked.

I threw back the glass of scotch, shuddering as it hit the back of my throat. For someone who never drank I certainly had no problems drinking like I had been doing it for years. I stood up and put the empty glass on the table and walked to our bedroom. There had to be something somewhere that would tell me if Lawliet did in fact know for sure this was going to happen and if he did there had to be some form of evidence that told him it was going to happen.

I walked into the dark room and I had opened the door. I wanted to drop to floor and cry again, it hurt like hell seeing our bed, seeing his clothes hanging in the wardrobe. I could even see the impression in the mattress where he had lied in the same position for a few hours each night as he battled insomnia. I could feel my body wanting to go to the bed and lying down on his side, against his pillows. I wanted to fight it and I really tried, I wanted to search for evidence but the urge was just too strong. I collapsed against the mattress resting my head on the soft warm pillows that had his scent all over them. If I closed my eyes and blocked out even the sound of my own breathing it was almost as if I was holding him, as if he were right there and things were perfect again. I had to snap myself out of it, I wasn't going to find him just lying there doing nothing to aide in the search and not only bring Lawliet home but bring B to justice. I sat up and looked around the room; I had no idea where to even begin. I had never seen him hide anything or even appear suspicious to hiding anything. I couldn't help but think if Lawliet had hid this from me what more could there be, I knew I had betrayed him about hiding the fact I was Kira for so long but I never would have imagined Lawliet doing this, maybe it was payback or maybe he was genuinely worried for me if I found out everything that I would become a target. I trusted him more than any other person, I would put my life in his hands and I knew it would remain safe with him. What I had seen in that tape and what I had read and seen with my own two eyes was catching up on me and I was feeling mentally overwhelmed. If I was going to save Lawliet I had to pull myself together, he was counting on me to save him and I was no good to him losing my bearings.

I pulled myself up off the bed and began to move over to his bedside cupboard, I had never been in there but it was a good place to start. I reached my hand out and grasped the knob, I swallowed hard I had silently hoped that there was nothing in there, if there was that meant it was just another secret he had kept from me. I pulled the top drawer open, holding my breath. I nearly pulled it out from the cupboard itself, it was completely empty. I sighed; I had realized that I still hadn't showered from the previous night when we made love. I was in desperate need for a shower; I could still smell him on me. I closed the drawer and made my way to the bathroom. I turned on the hot and cold taps and waited for the water to start running. I needed to at least try and freshen up in hopes it would revitalize my mind and I would be able to think more clearly to try and start to draw on some conclusion where he might have been. I quickly stripped myself of his clothes and placed them inside the laundry basket; now that Watari was gone I was going to have to make the laundry my responsibility. I stepped into the shower and let the water hit my face. It was warm and welcoming and I had a very fond memory of being in the shower with the water running over me. Lawliet had been there for me after I had been beaten by my father because I was gay and with Lawliet, this was where I was when I drowned my sorrows and Lawliet came to me, it was also the first place that he had made love to me. The thought was enough for me to break down. I dropped to my knee's the water running over my entire body, I placed my head in my hands and screamed into them, tears ran down my face and trickled in between my fingers.

I had spent fifteen minutes under the water sobbing, I had finally pulled myself together to turn off the water and go get dressed so that I could try and piece together the puzzle. I threw on a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of black track pants. I ran the towel through my hair, just as I was about to put the towel back into the bathroom I had been startled by a sudden high pitched squeal that was coming from the lounge room, it was the phone ringing. I raced out of the bedroom, nearly tripping over the bed itself and lunged myself at the phone, grasping it quickly and holding it to my ear

"Law?" I asked hurriedly

I wasn't sure if it was going to be him but in the off chance it was I wanted the first thing he heard was me calling his name

"Light" a whisper came through, I had heard him whisper in my ear countless times I knew it was him.

"Lawliet please tell me you are alright, I miss you so much, I saw the tape I saw everything and I know about B, Law', please tell me where you are so I can come and get you" I said quickly

"Light listen, I can't talk long, I need to speak with Matt, I will explain as soon as I can but I need to speak with him now" He whispered

"OK, just wait there OK please just hold on" I had to trust him

I placed the handset down onto the desk and ran to the kid's room; I had tried to be quiet as possible. I walked over to Matt's bed and gently shook the sleeping child. He woke up quickly and rose his head

"Shh" I whispered to him and he nodded his head in response

"It's Daddy L, Matt he needs your help he is on the phone" I whispered into his ear so I wouldn't wake Mello and Near.

It was enough encouragement to get Matt quickly up and race with me back to the phone on the desk

"Daddy L?" Matt said quietly picking up the phone

I knelt down beside Matt and held my ear near the phone

"Matt I need you to do something, I need you to hack into Watari's computer and see if you can file called Tracker. When you find it I need to you find somewhere you can enter the digits 2309986, the program will show you the rough area where I am currently. As soon as you get an answer you will need to tell Light, can you do that for me?"

"Yes of course" Matt replied

"Alright good boy" Matt handed me back the phone and ran to the elevator and quickly disappeared inside it and went upstairs.

I held the handset back against my ear

"Law?" I asked

"I'm still here, Light please know I didn't want to keep any of this from you. I love you dearly and I hope one day you can forgive me, I promise you I will give you answers but right now I can't. B is not a rational person and he will have no problems in killing me, once Matt has the information necessary you will be able to track me down. I have faith in you Light, I love you and miss you desperately, please be careful"

Then loud beeps, he was gone. I could breathe again I knew he alive, it was better than not knowing anything at all. But like he said B could kill Lawliet at any given moment we were in a race against time and Lawliet was in the hands of a madman. I had to go check on Matt to see if he was able to find the program that Law' had asked him to find. I hurried over to the elevator and waited for it come down from the top level, it had felt like the longest twenty seconds of my life. The doors slid opened and I stepped inside pressing the up arrow button over and over until the doors closed. Once it had gone up to the top level I stepped out and walked over Matt who was sitting at the computer completely focused. I placed my hand on his shoulder, he turned to face me. He had looked so tired but he was working hard to do what Lawliet had asked him, I had never been prouder of him as I was in that moment. He turned his attention back to the computer screen

"Here it is look" he suddenly spoke

I looked at the lit up screen. I was looking at a map that had been decorated with various colored small circles; I honestly didn't know what exactly I was looking at.

"Which one of these is L?" I asked myself quietly

"These are the places that the device which belongs to the code that Daddy L gave me. They are centered around Osaka. Each dot is no more than five miles from one another, which means that if you draw a circle around the furthest markers Daddy L is somewhere here in this thirty mile radius"

It was the first time I had smiled since Lawliet and I had spent that night making love several times over. We finally had a lead and something to go on, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to locate him in that thirty mile radius but if it meant breaking down every door in every building I was going to do, if it meant finding Lawliet.

"Matt I know this is asking a lot, I know I would be taking a huge risk but..."

"I will look after Near and Mello, we aren't exactly regular kids after all, we can take care of each other, we have been for the last five years. I promise, just please go and get Daddy L"

I didn't want to leave the boys home alone but Matt was right for the past five years those boys had looked out for each other and taken care of each other, if I had secured the building then nobody could come in and nobody could go out. I had to get Lawliet and I trusted Matt when he said he promised to look after his brothers. Matt printed out the map and handed it to me. We exited Watari's room and went back down stairs. I went into the room and picked up my shoes and jacket. While I sat in Lawliet's black leather chair and pulled my shoes on Matt stood next to me

"I will have my phone on me, my number is on the refrigerator, there is plenty of food in the kitchen eat whatever you want, I don't even care if it is just cake and candy. Please be careful OK, I don't want to end up losing you guys too"

I finished putting on my shoes and I looked up and the brown haired blue eyed boy, it had only occurred to me that I wasn't looking at his eyes through orange colored goggles, it was strange it was like I was really looking at Matt for the first time, he had grown up so fast, they all had. He seemed so much more different when we first met but now I felt like I was staring at a young man and not a small boy anymore. I smiled and stood up; I pressed a quick kiss on top of his head.

"Thank you for your help Matt, I love you"

"I love you too Dad"

It had been the first time I had heard any of the kids call me Dad and it was heartwarming, I felt as if my entire heart and everything inside of me had melted at those five simple words.

"Are you sure you will be alright?" I asked again pulling on my jacket

"Yes trust me, everything will be fine" He replied.

I took one last look at him before I punched in the code on the pad that was high up on the lounge room door to secure the building and I left.

I had bought a car some years ago but after I had met Lawliet and we had begun walking most places I suddenly had no use for it so I had hoped it would still run after all this time. I opened up the garage door to reveal a bright red convertible that I had paid more than enough for, it was a shame such a sleek and aesthetically pleasing vehicle had gone so unused and probably would for the rest of our lives now that we had children and a two seater convertible was a hardly a family car, I had decided in that moment once I got back from finding Lawliet I would sell it and buy something that the boys could fit in too.

I couldn't remember the last time I had driven into the city, it must have been way before I had met Law' I hated the traffic jams, the busy streets and the pushy drivers but I had doubted that there would be too many people driving around at three thirty in the morning, it had only occurred to me that I had been awake for nearly twenty four hours, but I was going to refuse to sleep until I had found my fiancé and made sure we got home safe. I had hoped that once we were home he would make the decision to move somewhere further away, maybe America just so we could leave all the hurt behind, so none of us had to live in a building that all of us would remember as the house Watari was murdered in and when Lawliet was taken by a mad man who had made the lounge room look like a strawberry fight had broken out. I drove as fast as I could, I knew I was risky pushing the speed limit but because it was such a quiet and very early morning I had little doubts that there would be any police patrolling the streets. I was in a race against time and so far time was getting the better of me

"Why the fuck did we have to live so far away from the city" I said loudly to myself hitting my palms on the steering wheel.

I looked down at them briefly, they were the hands that held Lawliet, the hands I used to love him, tease him and make love to him. If time won and I would never feel his flesh with my touch again I didn't know what I was going to do. I needed him to be alright, I couldn't spend the rest of my life without him, he wasn't just my lover he was my best friend, and he was the one that was always there. He was a guiding voice and hand, he led me to the light when everything seemed so dark, he made me come alive I was everything I was now because of him and if I had lost him I wouldn't be able to function, he was my oxygen. The very thought made me push the speed limit even further.

I was coming close to the city; I could see the blanket of glittering lights and neon signs in the close distance. This time of the morning was reserved for the intoxicated and those looking for a good time with a hooker or at a gentleman's club. Everyone else would have been in bed asleep and there I was trying to find Lawliet in a sea of buildings. B was Lawliet's twin brother and I had hoped unlike Lawliet, B slept. If he was asleep still when I found Lawliet it would make the escape much easier. I opened up the glove compartment and looked inside, coordinating my glances between the content of the glove box and the road ahead of me. I had put a gun in there just after I had met Lawliet, at the time I was Kira and I could never be too safe, even though the use of fire arms was illegal in Japan, if it meant saving his life I was not going to take a second thought in using it, no matter who had to die I was going to save L Lawliet.

I pulled the gun out from the glove compartment and a small box that sat beside it. It was a box of bullets that I was sure I was going to need. If worse came to worse and I had to shoot someone I was going to need a lot of bullets, my aim was not accurate and least I could assume that since I had never fired a gun before. If I was going to have to use the gun then I was going to have to trick my brain into thinking that I was in fact a pro, I had tried to remember how exactly they used guns in crime shows on television, tried to think about how they held them, how they aimed and fired and how they were reloaded. I had hoped the images I had in my head were accurate enough. I laid the gun and the bullets on the passenger side chair until I found the spot to get out and I would tuck them into my pants once I was standing and walking so that it didn't dig into my thigh. I could smell the city, it was strange but Osaka had smelled alive, even at this time in the morning. It smelt like street vender food, stale whiskey and sex. It was a feast for the eyes and the senses, people loved to be here. Apparently even the sick and demented B. I had desperately wanted to know his story, who he was exactly? why he was trying to kill L? and why would have L felt responsible for B's death when he clearly wasn't dead? I wanted answers, no I craved for the answers, I wanted the puzzle solved and I feared I was running out of time and patience.