authored by finish line
summary 11. She believed in him. She dreamed about them. But he's lies personified. "I was a dreamer before you let me down." -Ways on How to Breakup with Your Boyfriend Anthology-
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When you fall in love, you'll find it hard to fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.
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daydreamer
If he is a cold bastard who proved you wrong in every dream you had about you and him . . .
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The breakup situation.
Do you know that feeling when all you ever dreamed was for him to come to you everyday after work and hug you despite his exhaustion? When you fantasise for the moment when he would kneel on bended knee, pull out a ring, and ask you the question that every other girl could ever ask for? Do you know that feeling when all you ever did was believe in everything he does and hang on to every word he says?
It's idiotic of me but I always do. I dream about him and me—together, happy, with a future. I dream that he'd kiss me goodnight someday and he'd say he loves me every time. I always think of excuses to have him in my dream, concoct up certain events that would bring us together forever. He is my boyfriend, after all. He is my Prince Charming.
He is my everything.
Even when he ignores me because of his work. Even when he says he can't take me out for dinner tonight. Even when he makes up excuses for not being there on every anniversary we had. Even when he fails to remember it's my birthday, or when he says I don't need gifts for Christmas. He is my everything even if he makes me cry when all of his promises are broken, when he makes me wait for hours long in restaurants for nothing at all, when he does not show up on rare group gigs with our friends and I am left alone with no partner.
It's despicable, really, but I do love him. I don't really care about his flaws—I love him for everything—but when my mother said he is not worth my love . . . I staggered.
And here I am now, singing to him in one of our group gigs, our friends gawking at me as if I have grown another head. But yes, I have grown another head that is filled with confidence that I hope would not fail me tonight.
I am gazing at him as I sing and I know that he knows—
"Say you're sorry, that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to," I start, having strummed the first few chords. "As I pace back and forth all this time 'cause I honestly believed in you."
His face does not show any sort of emotion as he watches me with calculating looks I have always seen in his eyes. Our friends look at him and me back and forth, perhaps wondering what was going on.
It is obvious actually.
"Holding on, the days drag on, stupid girl—I should have known, I should have known. . . . That I'm not a princess, this ain't fairytale. I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet and lead her up that stairwell. This ain't Hollywood—this is a small town. I was a dreamer before and you let me down."
I feel tears forming in my eyes as I continue, "Now it's too late for you and your white horse . . . to come around."
Fighting the urge to stand up and leave my spot, I sing, "Baby, I was naive and lost in your eyes, I never really had the chance. I had so many dreams about you and me—happy endings, now I know—"
There, I stop, not having the courage to carry on as I gaze at his ever unchanging face—all hope in me lost.
'Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse . . . .
—it's obvious I'm breaking up with him.
. . . Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now.
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The breakup solution.
I am vacationing in my parents' home in Okinawa—really far from Tokyo, I know—to free myself from the hurt, the pain, the hell I feel after breaking things off with Sasuke. I still love him, I do. It does not feel right having to do that, but to not hurt and disobey my parents who wanted me away from him, I thought it was the best thing to do.
Even when it was just all because of a song.
It has been two months since then and I think about settling here in Okinawa and finding a new job here. It has been two months since the heartbreak, that is why I am genuinely surprised to find him there tonight, right below my balcony, the sea breeze of the night tousling his black hair.
This is a dream—a fairytale. (Oh, not again!)
Behind him are Naruto and Suigetsu—the former carrying an acoustic guitar with the latter sitting on a beatbox, his hands prepared to drum. I look at Sasuke's eyes and the guitar he has with him, and I am about to go back to my room and ignore them—close the doors and deafen my ears—when my parents come out and say, "Sakura, dear, please listen to what he has to say."
And I want so badly to reply, "Wasn't it you who wanted me to have nothing to do with him any longer?" when he began to sing.
"Oh, you could just pretend to be with her all day, remember the feeling when you first held hands today," Sasuke sings, eyes boring holes into my figure. Somewhere, I can hear the loud crashing of the waves of the sea, smell the salty smell of the breeze, and feel him. "Imagine her in your favoured white dress, smiling at you as if she's into you the best."
I grip the railing of my balcony. Hard.
"She's telling, 'You and me, sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.'" The corner of my mouth lifted up a little at the sight of the Uchiha Sasuke singing that. "You told her 'Baby, hear me out, will you marry me tonight? We're in this make-believe reality, baby, and it's just you and me'."
I almost laugh at Naruto and Suigetsu's failed attempt to echo Sasuke's singing.
"'Cause when tonight she holds you tight, you wonder if this fantasy is right," Sasuke continues, still looking at me imploringly. Because he knows I know.
His fantasy isn't right. . . . because I broke off things with him, remember?
"'Cause when reality comes to play," sings Sasuke, "you realise you couldn't make her stay."
And all the smiles tonight vanish and all I remember is the hurt. Again.
I feel myself break when he smiled and sings, "Hey, daydreamer, you gotta be prepared to leave her in your fantasy. 'Cause when it's over, you've gotta make sure that it's you who'll be with her."
I'm breaking.
"Oh, you could be her soldier—her knight in shining armour. I'm sure you wanna make her feel how much you love her. And you wish to God that she can see the world in your eyes, so she can realise that she's the girl in your mind." Sasuke wetted his lips and goes on, "And you don't mind if you don't make it out alive, 'cause you knew right from the start that she's such a boy killer."
Then they stop singing and playing their instruments. I don't realise I have been crying then.
"You know what makes a man a man, Sakura?" asks Sasuke, his hair thoroughly ruffled by the sea breeze. Beside him, my parents look at me in worry. "It's being worthy of love, Sak. I'll never be a man if I were not worthy your love."
He doesn't wait for my response when he turns to my parents—my father in particular—and starts to sing again. I notice the mischievous smiles present on Naruto's and Suigetsu's faces as they look up at me and salute.
"Sir I'm a bit nervous about being here today, still not real sure what I'm going to say," he says and looks back at me before turning to my parents, "so bear with me please if I take up too much of your time."
Naruto takes over Sasuke on the guitar, and I feel more and more tears come streaming down my cheeks as I realise what Sasuke is singing.
In his hand is a velvety red box. He opens it and, through the light that comes from my room, the item glimmered.
"See in this box is a ring for your oldest," he continues to sing, still focused on my father. "She's my everything and all that I know is it would be such relief if I knew that we are on the same side. 'Cause very soon I'm hoping that I—"
I cover the lower half of my face as Sasuke looks up at me with the gentlest smile I have never seen in a short while.
"—can marry your daughter, make her my wife. I want her to be the only girl that I'll love for the rest of my life; give her the best of me till the day that I die." He looks back at my father and continues, "I'm gonna marry your princess, make her my queen. She'd be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen. I can't wait to smile when she walks down the aisle, on the arm of her father . . . on the day that I'd marry your daughter."
And there I swear. This isn't fantasy. This is reality.
"She's been here every step since the day that we met. I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if she ever left. So don't you ever worry about me ever treating her bad, I've got most of my vows done so far—so bring on the better or worse—and 'til death do us part. There's no doubt in my mind it's time, I'm ready to start. I swear to you with all of my heart . . . ."
And I know that I'll find it harder to sleep tonight because reality is better than my dreams.
And sometime later, she found herself saying "Yes!" all over again—the pain, the hurt, all vanished; the happiness, the love, all appeared.
author's note Clementine suggested i make use of songs this time (actually, i was planning to even before—was even considering making use of barney's song—but i can't find the right scene) and i was listening to taylor swift's "mean" when this came to me. :P the songs used are personally my favourites. :D
1) White Horse—Taylor Swift
2) Hey, Daydreamer—Someday Dream (Uh, I just found out that Someday Dream is actually a Filipino. His name is Rez Toledo. He's like Adam Young who calls himself Owl City.)
3) Marry Your Daughter—Brian McKnight
it'd be better if you actually are listening to the songs above while reading. personally, i think it'll be sadder. :) review?
authored by finish line