"Don't know what I'm gonna do but I just keep on going through changes... My friends can't understand this new me" Going Through Changes - Eminem
(~_~_~_~_~_~)
Author's Note: This chapter is going to go hand in hand with Chapter 10. While Angela, Embry and Paul are conversing with Marie, this is happening INSIDE Bella.
(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)
There was no more pain. There was only darkness.
Bella almost felt like she was floating peacefully on a river in the dark. She remembered once going on a Mission trip with Angela for the church and they'd been able to sit in large floating tubes on the water..
"Perhaps being dead won't be so bad." She mused aloud to herself.
Then she heard a scoffing sound and froze. She wasn't alone?
Her eyes snapped open- she was sure they'd been closed.
Instead of floating on a lake, she was back facing her mirror. But instead of her own reflection, she saw another her- She saw the 'Izzy' from her dreams. She was sure she'd never seen herself look so beautiful. Izzy's hair was wild, her eyes were smoky and alluring and she looked amazing in black and red leather. She wasn't sure what to really call the clothes she was wearing, she'd never been able to wear them herself.
"You're not dead." Izzy growled at her, the doppelganger crossing her arms in a hostile fashion.
"If I'm not dead, where am I? How are you here?" Bella asked softly, unable to look away from the female in the imagined mirror.
"You are in our head.. I've done some digging while you were asleep- By the way, your majesty, took you long enough to come to."
Bella huffed, "Excuse me? If you've been in my head-"
"-Our head" Izzy interrupted, looking down at her ruby red nails almost in dismissal of Bella's whining.
"FINE! Our head.. Excuse me.." Even in her own mind she had to be lady-like. "If you've been in our head you can see I'm anything but a princess. I thought I was just dreaming of you."
"Yeah and I thought I was dreaming of you." Izzy snarked back, smacking her hands down on the counter top. "But it turns out, we share this space. That pain we felt was just the walls that separated us breaking down."
Bella gasped, "Mother is going to have us committed!"
There was a rumble in the darkness and then warmth turned the darkness a brown shade, it was kinda nice.. Bella was sure she'd seen it before.
Izzy gasped excitedly, "Paul! Paul I'm in here! PLEASE!"
Bella raised an eyebrow, "How do you know?"
Izzy rolled her eyes, "This brown is the same color as his eyes."
Bella thought up a chair and sat down, still facing the mirror, "For someone who seemed all hard and bad, you sure are mushy inside when it comes to Paul."
"Shut up. We have to wake up. The only way that's going to happen is if we agree on who gets to be the one to occupy the main living stream.."
Bella sighed, "It should be you."
That gave Izzy pause. She was sure the prim and proper Stepford wife would be aching to get back to Edward and "their" parents.
"Why me?" She asked, hating the almost vulnerable tone of her voice.
"You come out in the night. Have you ever seen our life in the harsh light of day? I mean really SEEN it? No. Because you see it through what you thought were dreams. Izzy, you've never felt the warmth of sun. You've never sat on the grass with a book in the afternoon and enjoyed the peaceful breeze. And honestly, I don't want to go back. I've been dreaming so long of being you. You could have a life, Izzy. I could disappear."
For some reason, the thought of that made Izzy panic, "NO!... Uhm. No. I'll accept your offer to be the one to wake up, but I don't want you to disappear. I have the feeling we can't do this without one another. And maybe one day, we'll be back together. I think Grandma Marie knows more than she's saying. I heard her threatening Renee."
The color changed again to red, and Izzy sighed, "Paul's gone.. I don't want to wake up alone."
"You always wake up alone."
"Because something always pulls me back home.. I guess that was you."
Bella had an interesting thought, "Am I still a virgin?"
Izzy snorted, "Yes. WE are still a virgin. We're not all pure as fresh snow, but that cherry has never been popped."
Bella's nose wrinkled, "You are so vulgar!" But there was a smile on her face.
She pressed her hand to the mirror, "Go be in the sun, Izzy."
"You'll stay with me? Maybe now that our barrier is down, we can still talk to each other..."
"Like the voice in your head?"
Izzy smiled, a real smile. "Yeah. You can be the voice in my head."
Izzy's palm was then pressed against Bella's through the mirror. Around them, everything began to spin and then there was a flash of light.
"I'll be seeing you." Bella whispered. Then Izzy was gone.
(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)
There were voices. Izzy could hear harsh tones...
"So you'd allow Isabella to remain a harlot?!" - That was her mother.. She was sure of it. The thought filled her with horrid anger.
"NO! I'd allow Izzy to be who she CHOOSES to be!" Grandma Marie.. She always had been her champion. She'd always been the one to beg to just let her be a child. She could see that from Bella's memories.
"I think not! You can try it, Marie. Isabella is going to a rehab center where the papers and press will be told the stress of too much work and a pending marriage proposal took it's toll on her delicate psyche."
"IZZY!" She screamed out. She watched as the two women froze.
Both women blinked and looked down to the young woman laying in bed. "My name.. is. Izzy." She huffed.
Marie smiled at her. "How are you?"
Izzy blinked. "Tired. And I don't remember what happened. It's all just.. Flashes." Something inside her, probably Bella, had told her she had to lie in the presence of Renee.
"This just PROVES why she needs to be medicated and committed! She's going crazy!" Seems Bella was correct. She mentally thanked her other self, even if she did not agree to Bella's life.
"Last time I looked, mother, I was an adult. Don't presume to tell me that I'm going to rehab when I've done nothing to warrant it. As a matter of fact- I'd like you to leave. And if you happen to see my dad, ask him to leave too- I'm just a little upset with him at the moment. I'd like to spend some time with my grandmother." She snapped.
Renee left in a false huff, Bella noted inside that Renee was usually much more forceful.
Izzy smirked, their mother was scared.
"Now, Grandma Marie... Can we speak?"
Marie sat down gently on the side of her granddaughter's bed. "First, please let me ask. Is Bella still in there?"
Izzy paused for a moment, but then at Bella's permission she nodded. "She's here. We just have a deal of sorts.. We can communicate now. But then again, you've always known this was going to happen, haven't you?"
(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)
Edward Cullen was very put out. He had been between the legs of a hot little strawberry blonde named Tonya when his phone had went off. The tone had screamed that it was the Mayor calling. He gave Tonya the silent warning and answered his phone.
"Hello? This is Edward Cullen. How may I help you?"
"Cut the shit, Eddie. My daughter is in the hospital. As her doting and loving almost-fiancée, you should be there supporting her!" Renee refused to give away that Bella was now Izzy and she had no idea what would be happening. She only hoped Edward would snap Izzy back into her lock box and Bella could stay..
"Renee, Isabella and I are otherwise departed. Her scandalous behavior-"
"Her behavior is nothing compared to yours. I pay you good money to act the way you do. Remember what is coming to you after the wedding. I don't care how many other girls you fuck but you will maintain your image with my child! GO FIX IT!" And she hung up.
Edward growled, dressed quickly and left.
Upon arrival to the hospital, he swore he saw Angela Webber speaking with two rather large, tattooed men but he couldn't be sure. He did hear his name when he walked away, but chalked it up to him being a public image figure. He was talked about in most places.
He charmed the young nurse at the front desk for the information for his almost-fiancée and entered the elevator to 'go to work' so to speak. His phone bleeped with the tone of money entering the private account from Renee.
He knocked gently and upon hearing a 'who is it' asked, he opened the door.
"Isabella, my dear.. I hear you're feeling under the weather."