Jacob's POV-

I felt like a pussy sitting here thinking about sad music like a damn girl.

I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see? It saved me and these tears are deadly. You feel that? I rip back, every time you tried to steal that. You feel bad? you feel sad? I'm sorry, hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you!

Yep, defiantly a pussy.

I wish I could I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you, and told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew! How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up.

I never fucked her, but I am pretty fucked up.

"You have the easiest imprint ever bro," I remember Quil saying. "She's already super natural, or whatever this shit we are - her family doesn't hate you. You get to see her whenever. Bro, you have it good."

Yep, so easy. Especially when your imprint is like mine, always screwing me over for drugs and what not.

Bullshit.

"Hey man, you okay?" Paul asked. Rachel let me inside, but I told her I didn't want to talk.

"No," I replied dryly.

"What happened?" He sat down across from me and handed me a beer. I didn't open it, I just set it on the tabel and starred.

"Everything."

"Elaborate?" He said with a laugh.

"I'm serious, basically everything bad happened. She has another guy, whom she somehow forgot about, her drug issues are out of control - she's just not Nessie."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa - Nessie? No way man, really?" He took a drink of beer and looked at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, really." I said. I started to shake just thinking about her. "I don't know why I didn't fucking do anything sooner. I just sat herr for months while she fucked herself up. Damnit!" I rubbed my face with my hands as I shook.

"Calm down, man. Don't be to harsh on yourself." I took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. My thoughts went back to one of my favorite time with her.

"Jake! Come here, look at this puppy!" Her voice called out. I went to where she was standing in the animal shelter. She was starring at a tiny white fur ball. "She's so cute." I watched as her small hand fit under the cage bars, the tiny puppy bounded towards Nessie and licked her hand rapidly. Ness laughed as she tickled and petted the tiny thing.

"I know daddy said don't bring any pet's home, but please Jake? Please?" Her gorgeous face held my eyes captivly, as her huge doe brown eyes looked their way into mine.

"Ness . . . " I started off.

"Please, please, pleeease Jake?" She took my huge hands in her tiny ones as she jumped up and down saying please over and over again.

"Ugh. Fine." I caved, of course I did.

"YES!" She opened the cage and took the baby puppy in her arms carefully. I watched as she played with it and I filled out all the forms and stuff. I gave the lady the money and left with a very happy Nessie.

"What should we call her? Oh! How about snowball! No, no, um . . . Delia? Oooh! Yes! Delia!"

"Like the store?" I said with a laugh as we drove to the nearest pet shop.

"Well, I guess? I don't know, I just think it fits her. Who's a cute wittle baby puppy! Oh yes, yes you are!" Nessie cooed over the animal all through out the day, talking to it like it was a baby.

"It's not a baby, Nessie. It's a dog." I laughed again as I grabbed the bags of stuff Ness insisted Delia had.

Like I said, it's a dog?

"Jake, it's a puppy. I'm going to love it to death." She stated as she walked into our house.

"Pun intended." I said under my breath.

"Jake!" I heard her yell from inside.

"It's true!" I said once I was in our house. She set the puppy down and watched it bounce around, yipping and yapping.

Oh great, it's one of those dogs.

"I can't wait to put your name tag on your cute collar!" Ness said as she petted the puppy.

"Yo, earth to Jake?" Paul said, I blinked a few times before looking at Paul.

"Uh yeah, sorry. Flashback."

"Man, you would be having flashbacks." He said as he stood up with a laugh.

"Where's Delia?" I suddenly asked.

Shit, I hope he still had the dog.

"Probably sleeping in Kenzie's room, maybe in Nathans. Why?" He asked.

I stood up and walked to where Kenzie's room was, I heard Paul grumble something about me being stupid. I almost laughed. I opened my nieces door slowly, I saw Delia immediately. Her head popped up and turned sideways as she stared at me.

She yipped as she jumped off the bed and bounded towards me. Once she got outside of the room, I shut the door and picked her up gently. She licked my face hastily with her tiny little pink tongue. It's only been nine months since Ness and I got her, but she's barely grown.

Damn it, this dog was giving me bad memeories that I didn't want to think about. One's where Nessie was normal.

"You can take that thing back, I don't want it. It's always yapping while looking out the window at every person that passes by." Paul said, he was sitting at the kitchen table with my sister. I sat down with them, still holding the face licking dog.

"It might make her remember." Rach said sadly,

"Remember what?" I said while trying to get the dog to stop licking me.

"Remember being happy, the dog might want to make her change."

I set the dog on the floor, but it hopped back into my lap. I whined and I rolled my eyes, I petted it softly.

"Renesmee won't ever be the same, trust me." I said angrily, I looked at the wall to focus my mind on something other than her.

"You could always try, Jake. Don't give up." Rachel said again, she rested a hand on top of my clenched fists.

"She's given up." I retorted.

"Doesn't mean you have to, too."

Sometimes, it does.

I tried in Jake's POV. Just to see what I could do. Haha, REVIEW PLEASE! (:(:(: