Chapter 11: Her
We turned around in sync to see an unlikely pair. The servant was a giant almost three times Lancer's height. He had long black hair and was chiseled with muscle, wielding a giant club. His master was a little girl, dressed in a purple coat and hat like she was ready for it to snow. Her white skin and hair made a deep contrast to her red eyes, but the shape of them made me think of my sister. That didn't matter now.
"You must be another master?" I opened the conversation, hoping we could figure out who this was.
She chuckled. "Isn't it obvious? You must be stupid to think I would follow you for something else." I sighed.
"A girl with no manners." I said and figured it was best to introduce ourselves. "Okay I'm Hazel, what's your name?"
"My apologies." She curtsied. "I am Illyasviel Von Einzbern." The last name struck a chord with what Waver had told me.
"So you live in that mansion in the woods?" I questioned, I thought if we could stall this out then we could both make it out alive.
"How would you know?" She asked.
I shrugged. "I got a tip." That was all I needed to say.
"I have better manners when it comes to fighting. I don't wait to kill." Lancer and I both readied our weapons. She giggled. "I want to see you two get crushed. I summoned a Greek hero, the strongest in the world, he'll kill that puny servant of yours." Considering the amount of circuits she had, I wasn't surprised. But still, to think someone her age could be that strong with magic meant she would be a threat.
"You're kidding. A little girl like you summoned Hercules?" I said. She laughed again, and it was getting creepy.
"Don't be surprised, you'll be dead soon." She said. "Get them Berserker!" His body began to glow red. The ground below him dented and he charged.
"Lancer, I'll…"
"Stay back, I'll take care of this." Lancer shoved me out of the way and began to battle. I wanted to help. That was the deal. But I thought moving to higher ground I would give us a better advantage.
I began to climb the shipping containers to get a better view of the fight. Lancer seemed to be holding up well, but as I climbed a white axe flew at my one of my hands and I fell to avoid losing my fingers.
"Let's play shall we?" Illya said and created two bird familiars. They flew at me and I shot them down. Obviously she had not been in many battles. She was confident in her ability.
"So this is a game to you? Sorry, I may be more than you bargained for." I said and drew power from the lamps in the yard. I sent a surge through the area. There was a trick I could use though I hadn't done it for a while. But with the amount of circuits she had, it would be easy.
"Not bad, but I have more." She said and created three more birds which changed into axes and a sword. She could summon them without an incantation, it took me until I was eighteen to be able to do that.
I continued running, trying to get to the high ground. I knocked out her familiars as I climbed to the top. There were still containers stacked around me, but I could see the red flash of Lancer's weapon. Illya wasn't far behind, but I needed a report.
"How are you doing?" I asked Lancer. This mind connection was something I could take advantage of.
"He's strong. I need more mana." I figured after using his noble phantasm once already he would need a boost.
"Take what you need. I'll try to end this quickly." I could feel the energy draining from my body. He took a lot which meant that retreating was the only option if we couldn't end this. I didn't want to do that to him again, but this was only the second night, we still had more battles to face.
"How?" His voice echoed in my head. I would have to use the items around me. The best way to beat a big target was with something bigger. There had to be something in these crates to create an explosion. I just had to find the right container, heavy enough to crush him.
"You'll see." I responded, but our talk had given enough time for Illya to find me.
"Where are you going?" She said in her innocent voice. I had to bring the battle over here, which meant I had to stoop to a dirty trick.
"Sorry sprite, I don't like to use this magic." I put my hand on the ground and sent a shock through her body and made her stationary. I hadn't controlled someone's circuits since my fight at the compound. The makeup of her body was different from her appearance. Though she looked like a child, age wise she was older, in her late teens. She would have been closer to my sister's age. But her body wasn't entirely human. Some of her circuits were implanted.
"What are you?" I asked, but before she could answer, her servant appeared. I made my shield and he hit it with his club. I was swung like a fast ball into one of the shipping containers. It flipped over on top of my shield. I was trapped in a gap between two containers. Lancer appeared beside me, but Berserker kept pounding the container and I used my legs to hold the shield so I wouldn't get crushed.
"Hazel, are you all right?" I think I had bruised my left leg, but there was a dent in the container now from my shield and the banging of the club. I saw a label peeking through.
"It's explosive." I said, it gave me an idea. "Lancer get out of here."
"No, he's stronger and faster than you." He didn't say smarter which was good. We needed this battle to end quickly before we both got killed.
"I got this. Trust me." I looked at him, and he was uncertain. He wanted to stay by my side and protect me, but I knew what I was doing. He vanished and I waited until I was able to move. I shifted my legs and propelled myself into the air going through the gap in the container. I got past Hercules and shot a blast with my left hand at the container. As I fell, I made a shield with my right to contain the blast.
My golden dome held him. And the fire was erupting. The looked like propane tanks from what I could tell. Berserker screamed trying to escape. I made the shield stronger as he began to dent the sides of it, he was definitely stronger than anyone I have faced. But when I was just about to get things under control, Lancer grabbed my waist and we leapt off the dome.
"Lancer, no!" The explosion was released and began to engulf the yard. I wanted to avoid this. Contain the fire until it was ash. I made a spherical shield as we were propelled back and hit some containers before landing on the ground. My leg was bruised but would heal after I rested.
"Berserker!" Illya screamed. He had to be dead, there was no way he could still be alive. She stepped forward and looked down. I guess she was upset that we outsmarted her.
"Illya, let's call it a draw. The fire department will be here any minute. I'm sure you don't want to explain this." I said and she scoffed.
"You're no fun. Let's go Berserker." I couldn't believe it. He was still alive, after being caught in a propane explosion. He lifted her onto his shoulder and they walked away. The sirens began to sound, Lancer and I left before others saw us.
I didn't say anything as we ran. I liked a challenge but Hercules had a phantasm that would be almost impossible to combat. Considering the amount of mana we had to use to kill him once, how many times could we do that by ourselves?
We were at the tunnel and I caught my breath. Lancer looked upset but I knew that this was going to be our next problem. I was limping slightly, the pain had become present now that I had stopped running.
I chuckled. "Well, I think we found our next servant to kill." Lancer wasn't amused.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Lancer said. Did he realize what he had done?
"Excuse me? That explosion took out most of the yard. I was trying to contain it but you pulled me away." He snarled.
"I was able to fight him. You didn't have to take over." If he took that much mana from me, clearly he was having an issue.
"I was trying to cover you." I replied. He clenched his fists.
"Me too." He said. "I'm used to fighting alone, stop trying to protect me."
I wanted to plea with him, he didn't get that both of us fighting was an advantage. "You can't die yet, the war has only begun. If we work together…"
"I can't work for someone who is a coward. Ending battles for the sake of survival." Now I was ramping up. Clearly my fighting style went against his belief. But I was trying to win to repay a friend, not just for the sake of fighting.
"So that's it. Sorry but I'm here for somebody this time. I'm not fighting solely for myself." He grunted and I continued. He made a choice and sometimes you can't judge someone just on one performance. "You should have chosen Bazett if you wanted to be a protector, but you got me. You expect me to stand aside and fight someone three times your size? Remember that deal we made? That's not being a coward, that's being helpful Lancer." The look on his face was like he was hiding something. He couldn't look me. I had a suspicion that maybe he saw me as someone else, and I wanted to know.
"I remind you of someone don't I?" I said and he leaned against the wall. "I've seen how you look at me. And when I asked you to vanish during that fight with Saber, I didn't have to use a command seal. That seemed out of character for you, so tell."
"Emer."He said it softly. "Your face and how your hair falls, it's like hers."
"Your wife?" I asked though I knew who he spoke of, I wanted to know if it was a reason.
"I never wanted to see her hurt. I fought plenty of men to take her as my bride…"
"Hold back on the prose. Is that the real reason you chose me?" I clenched my fists, his silence was making me more upset. "Answer me." He nodded, and I punched the stone wall, hard enough that rubble fell from it. I could feel the stone grind into my knuckles. "Dammit, Lancer!"
"Does that bother you?" He wasn't going to play dumb with me. I drove my fist further into the wall.
"Bother me? I killed one of my only friends and was picked for this war just because I remind you of your dead wife?"
"You also won the battle." He didn't understand. He picked me for a selfish reason.
"I don't care." I drove my fist out and pressed both of my palms on the stone wall. The pain was back, the mental images of that night played again in my head. I shouldn't be here, I thought. This wasn't my battle.
"Bazett deserved this more." I said.
"No she didn't." He replied and I lost it.
"You didn't know her!" I screamed in his face, he seemed surprised, but he had no idea the Master he passed up. "She looked up to you as a hero. She was originally picked, she performed the summoning. Just meeting you would have been all she ever wanted. By all accounts, you should have been loyal to her!"
Those tears I wanted to cry that night were falling now. I wasn't someone who served a cause, I was a rogue mage. I had done terrible acts, ones he wouldn't stand for in his day. He had more in common with Bazett, they both followed an authority whereas my actions came for revenge and fear of being killed. I continued.
"If you saw what I did to those people, you would have struck me in the heart when you had the chance." The guilt began to take over, what I had done and how I could have changed it. That I had made it worse for others. That I left Baz behind to grow and have a desire to fight for the Mages Association just to try and bring me back. But every time I denied it. With my sister, with my best friend. I wanted to be lonely, to claim I fought on my own belief. And I killed them. I had just created my solitude.
"If I hadn't escaped, she would have never joined them. If I had just done nothing and obeyed the Mages Association, they'd all still be here." I sniffled and Lancer reached out a hand to my shoulder to comfort me.
"Hazel…" I wasn't finished.
"And you say I was picked because I look like someone you loved. How could you be so soft? I would have rather died by Bazett's hands as a friend than have her hate me in death." That was it, at least Ferdiad understood the actions done. But Bazett, she saw the stories they wrote about me come to life. That I was a savage and a beast who wanted nothing more than to destroy. I had killed my best friend, but how could Lancer still stand and fight?
I was still balling my eyes out, but something unexpected happened. He pulled me in and wouldn't let go. I was still crying but just him hugging me helped. I wanted to stay mad, but he wasn't who I was mad at. I was frustrated with myself. I had to ask how he dealt with his pain.
"This is how you felt, when you killed Ferdiad." He looked away, picturing the time again. "I saw your memory but how did you get past it?" I sniffled as more tears went down my face onto his armor. "No matter what, I always kill those I care about. I keep thinking I could have done something different. That there was a better solution. But this pain just sticks inside and I can't get rid of it."
"It stings." He said, and I was beginning to settle down. "But that is the life of a warrior to kill, forgive, and forget. You fought to live, I've seen you're memories."
"Great." I said crossing my arms. He saw the carnage, how I was. No matter what, now he wouldn't trust me.
"I can relate to the pain you have. Your willingness to give it all in battle is something I wish more warriors had. I find that more appealing than someone who blindly follows authority." I pushed him away.
"Hypocrite." I spat out. "For a man that paid service to a noble for killing his dog? Baz at least served a cause instead of being selfish to survive."
"You have to have respect for yourself before sharing it with others. And if that is selfishness then so be it." Lancer was stern now, he stepped closer. "You both would have been good masters, but she was able to tell you what she was doing that night of the summons. You offered to leave in peace but she clearly wanted to fight."
"You saw that too?" I asked softly and lowered my head. No wonder he was looking at his wrist this morning, he was wondering about the scars, he saw what I had done at the compound, and what I said to Baz before I killed her. I leaned against the wall of the tunnel, but how could he be understanding. He was a hero, what I did should have made him want to break our pact long ago.
Lancer continued. "Yes. And if you are the one fighting now you should have what you want. If your friend only wanted the Holy Grail as a token for her employer then that's not useful for anything. You have more to fight for than an empty cup."
Though I agreed with him on the last part, I knew that Bazett wanted the grail as a sign of achievement. We had a lot in common and being strong willed was one of those. If we hadn't met that night I wouldn't be fighting here now. The least I could do for her was grant the wish, because I wasn't there to fight by her side for all those years. I had an advantage in this war, being that if I was killed, I wouldn't leave anyone behind.
"You're right with that. But I'll have to disagree." I said. "Like you I have nothing to wish for. Baz was still my friend, and I guarantee I will make it out of this for her. She wanted this so much that she died for it. I want to repay her, since I couldn't do it in this life, maybe we can reconcile in the next."
Lancer nodded. "I understand." He had a slight smile but I wanted to address the issue that brought up this argument in the first place.
"Lancer, even if I do remind you of Emer, you have to remember we are two different people." He smiled at that.
"I'm sure you have faces embedded in your mind. And when you see someone who looks like those you've lost, you have a desire to protect them." I understood that. Illya had big eyes like my sister. She reminded me of Rikki when we played in the garden. But, ultimately that little girl or woman was my enemy. And, I had to move on.
"Yeah. It sucks but I remember that the person is gone. Otherwise fighting becomes impossible." I liked that we were honest with each other, and I wanted him to know I was always available to talk. "You don't have to hide secrets like that from me." I stopped leaning against the wall and began to walk away. It had to be after midnight but I didn't know when sunrise was since I left the map at the hotel.
"I'm glad I chose you as my Master." Lancer said, and I turned around. "Though you are unconventional with you methods, you at least stand by my side. Your past may be grim, but from what I see, you have matured from it where others would have given up." I guess that was true, it had been five years and I learned to survive and not kill. But, he didn't understand that either way he would've been fighting with a partner.
"She would have fought by your side too." It was true. I knew Baz would have been his partner. She may have been more protective of him, but being close friends when we were younger, I was certain we were still similar. Like Lancer and Ferdiad, we simply opposed sides in the end.
I turned my back and began to walk away, but Lancer stayed back.
"Can I ask, are you simply doing what she would have done? Or is the Hazel I fight with your true self?" I stopped. It was a good question he asked. But, I felt I was myself. Even if I was here because of her and Lancer, I fought how I would normally. And if Bazett knew Kirei well, she may have been fighting under his hand instead of making her own decisions.
"Though my reason for being here is for my friend, how I fight has nothing to do with it." I looked at him and smiled. "This is who I am, sins and all." He smiled and stepped forward.
"I'm glad to hear it." He said. Now that we were in good moods, I thought we could have some fun.
I grabbed his wrist. "Come on, let's get something to drink." I began to walk forward and he pulled away.
"What?" He asked.
"You killed Rider, we should celebrate with some whiskey." I gave a guess based on the stereotype, but the grin on his face meant he was all for the idea.
"Now you're talking." He said, and we began to walk together.
I found an Irish whiskey bottle in a store downtown, though it was overpriced. But, I think Lancer needed some kind of reassurance that I trusted him, also I was cold and needed something to warm up. I asked for some paper and pen at the register and wrote two notes. After fighting Berserker, it was obvious that our combined strength wouldn't defeat him. On our way back to the hotel, I stopped by the Tohsaka mansion and put the note on her front door. I also stopped by the Emiya residence. I let Lancer slide the note underneath the front door in case Saber attacked, and we went back to our hotel room.
I only asked for them to meet us on the school roof top at noon, Rin would know what I was talking about. Since they had class that would be a convenient spot. Also, they were the only other Master and Servant pairs we had faced. But, I wouldn't worry about it until the time came.
At the hotel we broke open the bottle. I let Lancer have the first swing and I took a shot. I was more of a beer person, but he enjoyed the sentiment of the gift. I only had three shots and told him that was enough for me. He could take more I was certain, but we didn't want to be hung over to meet the other Masters. I fell asleep, but was glad to have that conversation off my chest. Lancer knew what it was like to kill a friend for the sake of duty, and I had not been able to connect to someone like that before. I only hoped that our partnership would grow stronger as this war progressed.