Warnings : Child Abuse... Kinda bad... but it isn't really really really bad if you know what I mean but still bad.

A/N : I WANNA THANK EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS OR READS OR FAVORITES! They make my day and I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you guys xD Your reviews always manage to make my day! Oh and this chapter is longer than usual... I couldn't find a place to cut it really without having to post two in one day again... Sorry!

And just so you all know- your questions are NOT being ignored... The answer to some of them are actually in this chapter :D... And others in later chapters but since I don't want to ruin the story for you all I can't answer them all right now D:! MAKES ME SAD BUT IT MUST ME DONE!

AND ON WITH THE STORY~

Chapter 9 : Not my Hero

Both teens turn to look out of the restroom. There had been a knock on the door. Ivan smiles sweetly, but slightly annoyed now, at Ludwig before he stands up. "I'll get it, da," He walks out of Ludwig's room to get the door. Ludwig sighs in slight relief; the other half was pure disappointment. Ludwig waits until his bedroom door closes before he takes his gloves off. He stares at his hands before washes them clean. He brushes his teeth and washes his face while Ivan takes care of whoever was there at the door, whoever it was, was taking pretty long at the door.

Suddenly there was a few angry screams and hushed responses. Ludwig nearly choked as he brushed his teeth when he heard the first shout, he spit out the rest and quickly finished. He goes to his drawer to quickly get a new pair of fresh, clean gloves to hide his scarred hands before he goes outside of his room, to the living room, to see a blond boy with bright blue eyes, contrast to himself who had icy blue eyes, in the doorway. Ivan was still blocking the entrance, but Ludwig had a clear view of the other boy from where he was standing.

"Let me see him, you damned Russian bitch." The blond boy growled angrily. Ludwig stared dumbly, wondering what Ivan would say to such an insult. The blond who was talking's arm was twitching violently into a fist like he could barely contain himself from hitting the other. He was also gritting his teeth; his face was flushed with annoyance and irritation.

"Nyet (No)," Ivan says sweetly, keeping his voice down as he kept his hands over the door tightly, like he was barely keeping himself from slamming it shut in the blond's face. Ludwig glances at the two, wondering why they were acting this way. It was not a very civil manner. Although the Russian's voice was sweet, it had a hidden anger. "I just got Ludwig to open up to me, da~… I am not going to let you steal him away now. Besides, I don't want you to influence him… You-"

"Don't you dare even try to start talking in your crazy commie language to me!" The boy shouts furiously at the violet eyed teenager who lets a twisted smile fall onto his lips. His smile wasn't one that Ludwig had seen yet. It scared the younger blond who couldn't help but shiver. Ivan's grip on the door seems to tighten a little as his hand trembles with the strength he had but was hiding. His knuckles were white. "We're in America! Speak English like everyone else, you-!"

"Um- Excuse me," Ludwig says softly, interrupting the other blond. Ludwig did not want the conversation to develop into violence like the tone and movements seemed to all point to at the moment. He wouldn't know how to handle it without wanting to hide or worst… Letting the memories take him over to the point he forgot where he was. "I'm sorry... I was in the restroom-"

"Come on, dude!" The blond growls at the Russian, seeming to try and keep his temper down though he seemed ready to throw a fit. "Ludwig is mine. He's my partner, man. I deserve to see him, so open this door…" Alfred sighs before calming saying : "Pleaseeee?"

His?

I'm not an item…

I belong to no one.

Ivan giggled as Alfred pleaded. Teasingly, Ivan slowly closing it more though Alfred was pushing it open a little more with as much strength he could muster up. It was a little hard when the Russian boy seemed twice as powerful as the smaller blond. "NOW!" Alfred shouts.

Ludwig can feel his heart start to pound in his chest. He hates the way he starts to shake and tries to shrink away from the other blond who had shouted. Ludwig was scared. The yelling was starting to get to him. Everything in his body was telling him to run, to hide, it was pure human instinct. The other part, the part that had lived and took over his life was telling him to apologize and take his beating, that this was his mother and this was his fault. And that she was angry at him again. But the tiny consciousness in his mind, the only part that had any sense at all, said that it wasn't his fault -like always- but this time, it was saying that this wasn't his mother, that it was some guy and that he couldn't hurt him.

"Okay, Alfred," The Russian boy lets go completely, stepping aside, and Alfred falls face forward, he barely manages to catch himself with his hands, breaking his fall. He lets out a frustrated grunt as he pulled himself to his feet. He sends a death glare to Ivan before turning to look at Ludwig with a sheepish grin which somehow let Ludwig relax a little. This other boy wasn't angry at him… Alfred rubs the back of his neck to show his discomfort now. "I'm real sorry you had to see that Ludwig,"

"It's alright." Ludwig answers quickly, happy that he wasn't still shaking.

"Good, and hey!" Alfred grins, his mood suddenly changing. He ran over to the other blond boy and reaching out for a handshake which quickly turned into a half hug thing or something. Ludwig visibly shivered. He was smaller than Alfred as well. Ludwig smiled faintly, a little forced, at the grinning boy who seemed so very jumpy and good spirited suddenly. "My name is Alfred F. Jones, and I am totally happy right now, man! I finally get to meet my partner! Been waiting forever for you dude! You took wayyy too long to get here!"

I made him wait too?

"I-I apologize-" Ludwig starts, realizing, that maybe Alfred had expected to see him yesterday like Ivan had. Than that meant he missed a lot more stuff than he thought he had before. His mother would be so disappointed in him! Ludwig tries not to grimace at the simple thought.

"Dude I was joking!" Alfred laughs. He grins at the other blond before he nods for Ludwig to follow. He takes a few steps and when he realizes Ludwig wouldn't move. He reaches over to grab the other boy by the forearm. Ludwig tries not to wince, there was a bruise right there. "Dude? Come on!" Ivan glares daggers at Alfred as Alfred leaves with Ludwig, who glances worriedly at Ivan. Where in the world was he being told to go?

"You better bring Ludwig back! I wanted to eat lunch with him!" Ivan calls after them both, it sounded like a snarl almost. Ludwig felt his heart skip a beat; he hated the way his knees wobbled a little at the scary sound.

"Than me and Lud will have breakfast!" Alfred shouts back, almost snidely. Ludwig barely catches the purple aura around the Russian who was smiling cruelly. When Alfred slams the door shut, Alfred glances back at Ludwig with a warm smile. Ludwig gulps, feeling a little frightened though he didn't really know why. Than he glanced at his arm, Alfred still had a grip on it.

Oh, that's why…

I wish he would let go of my arm…

"Sorry, hate your roommate a little… a lot, well, mostly because he's a bit of a bully to Toris and his brothers and his boyfriend!" Alfred drags Ludwig down the hall, finally letting go of Ludwig's arm, but there was a part of Ludwig that felt like he was still being dragged. Ludwig cannot help but to look over his shoulder at the closed door and wonder why he'd gone out of the restroom in the first place. It had only made matters worst, and it took him out of the place he had just grown to find comfort in.

Ludwig glances at Alfred's smiling face, his blue eyes brighter than Ludwig could have ever imagined. Ludwig suddenly felt self-conscious as he averted his own blue eyes, which were icy, cold, frozen. They weren't nearly as beautiful as Alfred's.

What's wrong with me?

I shouldn't be so close to someone with such a bright shine!

He's like the… the sun.

"And Ivan doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself! I feel sorry for you! Oh and you saw those purple-white paintings right? He did those as a freshmen I heard, he's had them up since. His last roommate, Yao, wanted them down because it scared the poor guy. Ivan was really, really pissed off! He said something or something and Yao wanted to change roommates that very day! Now he's with Im and I think Ivan was jealous for a while or something because he was even angrier! I know that because his bullying went on a tenfold of mass destruction!" Alfred said almost too quickly for Ludwig to catch, but he caught most of the words he said.

Yao?

And Ivan is a bully?

He didn't seem very… but he was so nice…

"Oh," Was all Ludwig could really say in responses, he didn't really know who they were anyways. So, before he even got to know people himself, he was hearing some rather strange rumors… or stories about them. It wasn't too bad though, at least Alfred seemed like the type of guy who just said the truth, and what was on his mind or thought was the truth. And he didn't seem very violent now. He seemed pretty nice now that they were no longer with Ivan.

"Yeah, oh! I mean, dude, let's go to the dining room, they're still serving breakfast since it's only like nine thirty or something! I woke up early and got to you as soon as I could, so I could totally save you. Because, I'm the hero like that, you know? I'm the hero of WB School of Historical Education and someday the whole freakin' world! So if you ever need to be saved, just give me a call, okay dude?"

"Alright," Ludwig says calmly.

"Yeah, and like I'm always saving the day! Oh! Like that one time when I almost beat up Ivan because he was picking on Toris again, for like the hundredth-millionth time and then he made Raivis cry, but the reason I didn't was because- Well… I'm too heroic to waste my time beating up some big, old bully! Instead I comforted them for a while and made sure they felt better! Anyway, you should totally meet the others! Classes start at eleven. When Ivan was talking about taking you to lunch, he meant at one, just so you know, that's like when classes have break. They start again at two. They go on until four than we have time for whatever else we feel like doing. Dinner is at six-thirty sharp, everyone in the whole boarding school has to be there. Everyday, so even if you ditch breakfast and lunch, you have to at least be there for dinner!" He pauses like he finally ran out of things to say, and for a second Ludwig is happy until he picks up again. "I'm sure there are a lot of people in the dining room right now actually! They all know about you, they all want to meet you too, dude! I'm really pumped because you're the first partner I ever had!"

"Really?"

"Hell yeah!" Alfred laughs. "Anyway, lets hurry!" Alfred laughs and quickens his pace as he grins, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he glances at Ludwig. "Oh yeah, your last name." Alfred stops suddenly, causing Ludwig make a noise of discomfort as he stops too. Alfred looks back at Ludwig, his bright blue eyes dead serious. "There's a guy here who already has your last name… at least it's a different version of it or something like that, right? The last name sounds alike I guess, and I think the way it's spelled is pretty darn close too. He's a few years older than us. You know him Ludwig? His name is Gilbert Beilschmidt."

Beilschmidt?

You kept our old last name brother, from Germany…

But… why did mother make me change mine when we moved to America?

"I…"

"So you know him, Lud?"

Oh… God…

Please… Don't make me talk…

…about him of all people…

"Hold that thought. HEY MATTIE!" Alfred shouts, waving his arms around. A tiny, light haired blond turns around to see his brother. The teen smiles softly, almost sleepily, and waves back, holding a polar bear teddy bear to his chest. Matthew is standing next to another male with large eyebrows and bright emerald green eyes. "What's up Artie?"

"You bloody wanker!" The sandy blond shouts back. "I already told you not to call me that!"

"Sorry dude, I forgot!" The American laughed. "He's from Britain, as you can tell! The other guy, the quiet one, Mattie. He's my brother. He's kind of hard to notice, so I point him out to everyone the minute we get into the same room or area!"

"I'm not invisible!" Ludwig noticed the tiny blond shouted weakly, like he was sick, but Alfred was just being truthful again, a harsh truth. Ludwig felt as if the sound the light blond made came from a few miles away with how faint it was. Ludwig glances at the violet eyed blond, thin and small, apparently young by the teddy bear he grasped in his hands.

"Our parents split up when we were young, our mother, she took Matt to Canada. I stayed here with our dad." A smile crosses Alfred's face now. He turns around to run to his brother. "Don't know what I would ever do without my brother!" He grabs the younger teen in a head lock. The violet eyed boy squeaked in anger, and Alfred ruffled Matthew's hair menacingly, with an evil smile on his face. The tiny violet eyed blond makes an annoyed whine of protest, soft and still kind of weak.

Is that what Gilbert would have done to me if he'd been with me for the last few years?

Would I be any different than I am now…?

Would I… Would I be fit to be loved?

"J-jerk, let g-"

"YOU DUMB GIT! GET OFF OF MATTIE!" The sandy blond roars. Alfred lets go and begins to laugh. Matthew's face reddens a little, and he sighs slightly in quiet annoyance. Ludwig stands still, watching the scene before him with slight -no slight was a complete understatement- utter envy and annoyance. He hid the emotions with ease though.

"Okay, okay!" Alfred laughs letting go to place a kiss on his brother's forehead. A groan came from the other teen. "You know I love you, Matt!"

"I guess…" The tiny blond mumbles. He glances up at Ludwig, his lavender eyes seeming to look right into Ludwig's very soul. A calm, sleepy smile breaks across the boy's face as he still held the teddy bear in his hands. "My name is Matthew Williams. I took my mother's last name. I'm actually a few hours older than Alfred… I don't mind that people mistake me as the younger brother, its okay as long as I can be with my brother, right?" Ludwig felt a sharp burn in his chest.

I shouldn't hate him.

So why do I hate him?

He's so… Agh.

"Yeah," Ludwig answered calmly in spite himself and the burning hate he felt building up. No one had ever said something like that to him. And even if they ever had, they never said it with such calmness and with… meaning no harm whatsoever-… It made Ludwig angry.

"Lets go get breakfast than! And for contrary dude, I'm much more fit to be the big bro!" Alfred cheered, wrapping an arm around Matthew's neck gently. Alfred glances over his shoulder and grins sheepishly at the other blond teen. "Sorry, I-"

"It's alright," Ludwig says softly. His eyes scan over to the sandy blond, quickly going back to the other two teens. For a moment he thought he'd seen a little rat, a tiny, blond rat-

"You really need some people skills!" A sudden arrogant voice remarked meanly. It was a huffy little boy who looked like the British teen, only a smaller version. The small boy was wearing a blue sailor suit with his tiny hands on his hips in an annoyed manner. Ludwig hadn't notice the little boy until now, and he had thought the boy was a rat on top of that.

"Peter!" Arthur scolded angrily. "Mum would be so angry if she heard you say something so rude, you darned little wanker! Excuse my little brother's horrid attitude! He can be so-"

"Well its bloody true, Arthur!" The tiny boy huffed back in anger.

"Pete!" Alfred shouts now at the small sandy boy with angry blue. "Hurry up, ya brat! And leave my partner alone, Artie's right! You're pretty damn thick for a small fry!" Peter glared at Ludwig before smiling slightly at him.

"Sorry." Peter says sweetly now. "You didn't even notice me until I spoke. I just wanted your attention, please forgive me! After all, it isn't often we get new students here!"

"It's alright." Ludwig says calmly. He glances away. The memories ate at him as he glanced at his feet as he followed the group to the dining room. Ludwig shuffled his feet after them. Each person was holding someone else's hand or hang on to. The British teen was holding his little brother's hand, and Alfred had his arm around his brother's neck in a friendly manner.

What is this all?

Is this my punishment?

Or is this all some sort of cruel joke to mock me?

He was nine years old when he first got burnt. He had just got home from school, it was middle of the year and midterm reports were coming back. He had just gotten a few rewards for being an honor student and some more for being the best tryout player they had all year. At his school, sports started in fifth grade, but tryouts and practice started in fourth.

Ludwig hadn't been completely dead minded when he was nine years old. He was healthy, happy enough to not become completely antisocial, he was okay. He wasn't in perfect condition, but he was okay… on his own standard at least.

Ludwig handed his mother the report card. He had looked through it to make sure nothing bad was in it. He just forgot about the teacher's note, looking over it, was his only mistake.

"Ludwig is a very good student. He is a perfect role model student, and I wish there were a dozen of him. Yet, he is still yet to come out of his shell; he is painfully shy and keeps to himself. He does not talk unless I ask him to. He also does not do well in groups. Please see to it that next year he is not as withdrawn."

And that one note made his dear adoptive mother angry. She instantly forgot about all of the awards scattered on the ground when she pushed him to the floor. He did not cry out in shock at the action; he was older and knew she sometimes acted out very suddenly. Instead, he chewed his bottom lip and hoped she would leave him alone. She smacked him a few times before grabbing his wrist and forcing him back to his feet. He let out a tiny whimper as he was dragged to the couch.

"DON'T MOVE, YOU DAMNED BRAT." She growled. He sat still, hoping to somehow please his mother into stopping. He could only wonder what he had done to upset her so much. He was trying to be a good boy, he was. He was trying desperately. He wanted her to love him, for her to not hit him anymore. But these dreams shattered when she brought him back to reality with the sharp knife she held in her hands carefully, more carefully than she had ever held him.

Not that she ever held him…

"Hey, dude?" Ludwig glances up as he realizes that Alfred was addressing him, but why wasn't Alfred using his name like before? Alfred tilted his head. "Yo, ya cool, man? Or some 'em wrong? Because you look pretty down. Oh, and we ain't allowed to tell anyone your name, right now it's a secret 'til Sunday when you get to meet everyone!"

"I'm fine," Ludwig calls back. He quickens his pace to catch up with them. "I apologize, I was thinking about my… mother." When he said it out loud, it sounded strange to him. Alfred's eyes softened now, he pouts slightly.

"Are you alright, dude? I mean like, you'll like this place after a while, but the first couple weeks are the hardest! Being away from family really sucks. I missed my dad for the longest time- don't get me wrong, I still do but-" Alfred sighs and smiles slightly. "Don't worry, me and… uh… Ivan will try to make it easily for you, okay?"

"Okay," Ludwig answers. Than Alfred turns back around with a grin.

"Well, come on!" Alfred quickly waves them into the dining room.

Soon they're seated, and their orders are being taken, and they are being served. Ludwig eyes soften as he stares at the food in front of him.

His adoptive mother waves the knife in front of Ludwig's face. He paled. She grabbed his hand and told him to stop moving and to open his fist with a smack to the back of his head. Ludwig unclenched his fist. She stabbed each finger, making sure to draw blood and to make sure each cut was painfully slow. He chewed his bottom lip, not wanting to cry out in the pain. She almost giggled as she dragged him into the kitchen. He relaxed slightly, thinking, rather foolishly, that she was going to clean his wounds. Instead, she turned on the stove.

He blinked in confusion as she grabbed his wrist. She held his index finger to the red hot stove. He couldn't even avoid the wounded scream that erupted in his throat. He had tried to be strong through the cuts and taunting, but he couldn't hold back during the burn. She didn't let up. He cried out again.

"S-stop, Mu-"

"Shut up, you little shit!" She growled. He couldn't help the tears that started to form in his eyes, or the fact he was shaking uncontrollably. He blinked the tears away, they slowly disappeared. She let goes of his index finger and he sighs in relief, only to scream again when she grabbed his middle finger, pressing it against the stove. He cried out in pain as he heard the stove let out a low hiss as his wet blood touched it.

"Muttie, bitte (Mommy, please)!" He cried loudly, trying to pull away, but she kept a strong hold. "S-stop! Dop, pwease dop!" His voice broke, the tears weren't going to spill from his cheeks though, he wouldn't allow it, only his voice choked and broke, but the tears kept well hidden from his adoptive mother. Ludwig didn't stay awake during his right hand, he passed out when the blade touched his other fingers unable to endure the pain anymore.

"Alfred's partner!" The tiny boy screams loudly. "ALFRED'S PARTNER, ALFRED'S PARTNER, ALFRED'S PARTNERRRRRR!"

"You dumb little brat!" Arthur growls at the tiny boy who shivers. Arthur smacks Peter's hand softly, a warning to behave himself. Ludwig can't help it when he winces. "We are sitting at a table! What have I told you about shouting at the dining table like that!" Arthur mumbles under his breath. The little sailor suit boy pouts as he glares at his older brother.

"Um… What's wrong?" Matthew whispers quietly. He stands up to touch Alfred's shoulder, a gentle touch that Alfred barely noticed as he shook the other blond teenager. "Alfred, you shouldn't shake him like that! You might hurt him," Ludwig realizes that Alfred is shaking him, grasping his shoulders, almost painfully tightly. Ludwig pushes Alfred's hands away.

"I'm sorry." Ludwig says softly. "I kind of-"

"You wouldn't respond!" Alfred interrupts. "You were pale, and you were gripping your shirt with your hands, really, really tightly! I got worried so I called to you, but you didn't even notice! I was really worried ya now! You can't worry the hero!"

"I apologize," Ludwig grumbles. "I didn't realize I worried you."

"Its cool, dude!" Alfred smiles brightly now. "I mean, I know you didn't mean it,"

Ludwig nods. He picks at the food in front of him.

Even here they haunt me…

Ludwig can't help but smile bitterly at Alfred, the hero, when Alfred turns to chat to Matthew and Arthur, seeming to change the subject rather quickly, forgetting about Ludwig. Peter lets out an annoyed grunt as Arthur smacks his hand half-heartedly again. Matthew whispers something, and Alfred laughs loudly, suddenly jumping up and down, saying something.

Ludwig doesn't hear them; he can only hear his own heartbeat which somehow drowns out every other sound, like they were all meaningless. Ludwig glances at Alfred as the self-proclaimed hero grins brightly and makes a mock salute to his twin, who grumbles something, making the blue eyed teen laugh.

You may be the hero of WB School of Historical Education…

Alfred… but… You…

But you can never be mine.

A/N : Please review this chapter and tell me how I did~ Anymore questions? I can answer some of them- just not all of them D:! Please give me a reason to keep writing them xD! I have a few more chapters in my computer waiting to be posted that have most of the answers to your questions and if you want them to come out fast... the best way is to review... (OH NO! NOW I SOUND GREEDY!)

But anyways... It makes me feel giving xP! (Did I make myself look any better?) AND THANK EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED MY OTHER STORY, Ice! I know the summary sucked, but its true, eh? Ludwig is ice.

PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER. THANK YOU!