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Here we go, chapter 11!
DIsclaimer: I don't own TVD.
Baby, just have a heart
I'm begging you
Let me show you how much I need you
Baby, just have a heart
This much is true
I miss your touch
I'm still in love with you
Celine Dion - Have a Heart
Chapter 11: Honest With The Feeling.
One month.
One freaking month.
One annoying worst month I have ever had.
One month after Stefan kissed me, which, I now hated it.
One month after Damon found me and his brother, who took away the love of his life, lip locking in front of his door step.
I didn't even know why he upset and avoiding me.
I told Stefan that he couldn't do it again. He had Katherine to satisfied him. He understood then apologize. He said something about goodbye kiss. Whatever it is, I'm still mad, he was the one who put me through this hell month without Damon.
Yes, I admit it, I was a mess, a damsel in distress without Damon this month.
I used to see him, to hear his voice. I used to smell his cologne, it was great by the way, and now he's gone. Vanished into thin air.
He didn't even text me. No calls, no voicemails, no letters, no e-mails.
But then, who was he to take this out on me? He was just a friend. If he were my boyfriend he could act like a jealous boyfriend. Sadly, he weren't.
"Girl, you need to call Caroline" Bonnie said teasingly. I gave her my I-know-I'm-a-mess-but-I-didn't-need-an-I-told-you-so-speech look.
"Stop telling me that"
"But she could be handle this better than me"
"Can we not talk about this now? How do you even know Caroline anyway?" I shook my head then took a sip of my orange juice.
Damon. Even orange juice reminded me of Damon. Get a grip, Gilbert.
"Well, my brother works for her fiancée, Tyler Lockwood. Then Luka, my brother, introduced me to Tyler and Caroline. She started to talk about Elena this and Elena that, then I asked which Elena, and it happen to be you" she said with a big grin.
I nodded, "Luka works for Tyler? What a small world"
"Yes, I visited two weeks ago"
"You were in New York?" I widened my eyes. I didn't know Bonnie went to New York. I didn't even noticed she was AWOL at work.
"Try to keep up and leave your bubble, Elena" she shook her head.
"I'm sorry if I hadn't been paying attention because my former first love kissed me a month ago when I was ready to let him go and his brother, who, I, happened to have feelings for, saw that and now he's been avoiding me since then" I snapped and glared at her. I tried to shot daggers with my eyes just like they did in the movies, but I can't.
"So, that's what happened?"
"You set me up" I gasped accusingly.
"Well, I'm sorry, okay? You've been this Zombie Elena lately. You talked, ate, lived with those hollow eyes" she shrugged apologetically.
"Is this that noticable?" I sighed.
"Yes, "she wrapped her arms around me, "You're parents are worried, Elena. They asked me to come tonight so I could dig up some information. They didn't want to do it by themselves, saying that you're already mature enough to handle it, but sometimes you just make them worry too much"
"I know,"I didn't even have the urge to arguing about Bonnie's secret mission. "This month has been a lot of hell"
"So, where's Stefan now?"
"LA. Doing some lawyer jobs I couldn't understand" I said impassively.
"And Damon?" she asked carefully.
"How am I supposed to know?" I sighed once again. It became my favorite activity lately.
"Well, have you call him? Text him? Leave a message?"
"Gosh, Bonnie you're so smart, I forgot about technology" I said sarcastically. She just grimaced.
"What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. I really don't know"
I opened the café door carefully. I felt like a thief, sneaking into someone's property.
For you guys information, I've been doing this since last week. I just have the courage to actually come inside now.
I walked to the bar and found Alaric, serving the drinks. I sat on one of the stool, the same stool I sat on the last time I came here.
"Elena" Ric smiled at me and gave me the menu.
"No, I ate already. I just want to know is Damon here?"
He seems hesitant before he bent down and whispered to me, "He's not but he put your name into the black list"
"And why are we whispering?" I whispered back. This is so ridiculous.
"He told all the workers, even the chefs, and showed them your photo. Told them that you're not welcome here" he offered me a sad smile.
"He did that?" I asked firmly. Now this is way out of line.
"Yes, I didn't like it either. He's acting just like back when Stefan and Katherine rode off the sunset together. He snapped at no reasons. He's being a bigger dick than ever. Even to me"
"So he's really not here?"
He chuckled, "No sorry, he's been called in sick since three days ago"
Okay, this news definitely surprise me. Damon used to be healthy. Just look at his muscular arms and those six pack on his stomach, even the blinds could see it just by touching him.
"Oh, what happened?"
"He didn't say. I offered to come check on him but he said he got it covered. I assumed he'll be back tomorrow though" he said, he went soft when he saw the look on my face, "Don't worry, Elena. I'll go check on him after my shift over" he smiled.
"No, don't have to. I'll go. Thanks, Ric"
I walked out the door and went to my car.
After I safely sat on my car seat, I pulled out my phone and started to hit his number.
Obviously you know who I am, I'm doing some important things than taking this phone, but feel free to call again. Beep. I could really sense his smirk.
I shoved my phone back to my purse then drive to the boarding house.
Many scenes was playing in my head. What am I going to say? What am I going to do? Can I say, "hey Damon, I'm sorry I kissed your brother when I secretly have feelings for you"?
Feelings. I hated feelings. It made me confused. I didn't know how to act around Damon if I keep up this feeling they called...love?
Oh. My. God.
Caroline was right.
I am in love with Damon.
I drove faster. I had the urge to tell him that, to tell him that I love him for him. Maybe I should, or not.
After what I felt like the most long drive I have ever had, my red Versa pull up to the Salvatore Boarding House. It looked normal.
I knocked on the door once. I straghtened my hair with my fingers and my white blouse as I wait.
Maybe he was asleep so I slowly open the door.
"Damon?" I called out his name.
This is not good. Seems like Hitler paid a visit for the World War III in this house, I thought sarcastically.
His usual liqours inside the cabinet now were a mess. Damon definitely had one hell of a night. Or a month.
I walked upstairs carefully, keep looking down for the pieces of shard and porcelain near my feet.
I stood in front of Damon's bedroom door which slightly ajar. I opened the door a little wide then I saw his back.
He was sleeping, I knew from his even and smooth breathing, facing the window and his I could see his back relax. His jet balck hair were tousled but he cold still win Calvin Klein Model Hunt I guess.
I walked up slowly toward him. He moved slightly and now I could see his face more clearly. He looked like someone had throw punches onto his handsome face. And those black-ish circle around his eyes, clearly telling me that he hadn't have much sleep lately.
Without me even realizing, I sat on the edge of his bed and put down my purse. I caressed his face and smooth his hair with my index finger. He looked like a child, a child who had a ll the blames even when he knew it was not his fault.
He stirred and I immediately got up. I felt like a deer caught in the headlight.
His eyes flattered a bit and reveal his amazing blue orbs, even thought I could see a slight red in it.
"Hey" I whispered softly.
"He—Elena?" he said hoarsely.
"I came to your café, "I sat on the edge of the bed again, "I couldn't find you so I come here"
"Yeah, I'm not feeling well" he slowly got up and rest his head on the headboard of his big four-poster bed.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Yeah, go away" he said harshly.
Okay, I was not expecting this.
"Excuse me? I came here because I care and worried about you, Damon"
"Oh you care? You'd better tell that to my brother" he stood up make me stand up immediately, almost losing my balance.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked loudly, feeling offended.
"You said you were ready to let him go. You were ready to build a new life without his shadow following you around. But guess what I found? You stuck your throat into his when you know damn well that he's your bestfriend's boyfriend" he snapped.
I couldn't believe he just said that.
"I was. I am ready. He was the one who kissed me, okay? Not the other way around" I defended myself.
"And from the way I saw it, you enjoy it" he said in a low, scary tone.
"Is that why you've been avoiding me?"
"Oh don't give yourself too much credit. I have bigger things. Important ones than to listening on how amazing my baby brother is from you" he mocked.
"It was nothing!" now was my turn to snap, "The kiss was nothing. I'm letting him go and I'm completely over him"
"Do not think you can fool me, Elena. First love doesn't easily go away"
"But that's the truth, Damon. I...I'm in love with someone else" I confessed.
"Oh, yeah? And we're going to gossip about your new love now?"
"You are an ass, you know that?!" I yelled. Keep your tears from where it belong, Gilbert. He can't see you all vulnerable now.
"I've been called worse, darling" he smirked mockingly. He made his way to his bathroom.
"Don't you dare walk out on me now, Salvatore!" I screamed.
"Why? So you can tell me how perfect your love for my brother?"
"No" I said briefly.
"Then tell me one good reason why I should listening to you"
"Because I'm in love with you, you complete jerk!"
I could definitely hear a pin drop.
Damon went quiet. So quiet. Then his face turned pale withing seconds. His jaw hardened and I couldn't quiet read those eyes.
"Damon, say something" I whispered as I took a step forward and he took a step backward. This is obviously not what I was imagine.
"You'd better go home" he finally said.
"What?" I said in disbelife. This is his first sentence after I confess my love for him?
"You'd better go home" he repeated raising a couple octaves.
"Yeah, I heard that, but say something about it. I love y—"
"Don't, "he interupted, "Don't say that and go home. I don't want you here"
"But..."
"Go. Home" he emphasized every word.
"Fine" I grab my purse then gave him one last glance before I out of his room.
"He is a jerk, you should know that by now" Caroline said with a frown, "Do I need to come there and kick his ass myself?"
"No, " I laughed humorless, "by the way, you're the one who said that I'm in love with him"
"Well, you are. But I didn't say you should tell him now" she shook her head.
I called Caroline via Skype as soon as I got home. I really really need to let out my emotions to someone.
"Do you know what's the first thing he said after I confess my unconditional love for him?"
"What?"
"'You'd better go home'" I quoted.
"I really need to book a flight then throw some senses to his thick skull now" She said passionately, "Oh, Laney, are you okay?"
"Other than being rejected from both of the Salvatores? Nah, I've been better Care" I said sarcastically.
"I wish I could—wait, someone's at the door. Be right back" in a flash she's gone and I lost in my thoughts.
What if Damon said that because he doesn't have the same feelings? What if now he think of me as a cheap slut?
"Elena" I heard someone singsong my name made me thrown back into the real world. Katherine.
"Kat, what are you doing in Care's?"
"I've got nothing to do. No modelling schedule until tomorrow. And I missed her. And you too" she winked.
"I missed you too, Kat" I forced a smile.
"I didn't know you like Skyping with Caroline" I saw Caroline walking in the background.
"No, actually. This is our first time Skyping. I just made a Skype account recently"
"I really need one account too, then"
"So, how's life? No more fainted?"
"Thank God, no. Stefan and my mom lectures me ever single day. I feel like a child again. I even have a curfew now. Be home at 11 p.m"
"Good luck with that. You're not that home girl" I laughed. At least this laugh wasn't entirely fake.
"I know right?" she shook her head make her perfect curls bouncing around, "Wait a second—Care, can I get a glass of water please?" she turned her head to me again, "She's on the phone with Tyler. Back to our topic, fortunately, Damon's always been there for me"
"Damon?" I did not expect that coming.
"Yeah, he texted, sometimes he called. I'm just happy our break up doesn't effect us that much" she smiled sweetly.
If I were there, I'll tear your cheek so people would mistaken you as Joker's twin.
"Oh he did, huh?"
"He is so nice. People would mistaken me as Damon's girlfriend again since he always makes me laugh even when I'm busy with outfit fitting" she let out a cheery laugh.
Stop that laugh, or I'll make it stop for you, Missy!
"Glad to hear that" I said impassively.
"Oh, you look sad" she fake pouted, "What happened?"
"Nothing. Work's been really hectic lately. I'm just tired"
"Poor you, 'Lena. Drink some vitamins. It'll make you strong and healthy again. Oh! I just realized I sounds like Damon" she laughed, "He always reminded me everytime I forgot to drink my vitamins"
Okay, that's enough. No more boost your own pride to me!
"Er, Kat, I gotta go. I have to be up early tomorrow. Tell Care I love her and talk to her later okay?"
"Okay, love you, 'Le—"
I disconnected the line before she finished her sentence.
I couldn't quiet wrap my head about Damon still care about his bitch of an ex-girlfriend.
I decided to just let the thought go and took some sleeping pills since I knew I wouldn't sleep because of Damon, Damon, and Damon.
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PS: I'm on a school break, so I have more time to write YAY! Just want to share that. And we have to wait about a month for TVD to come back. Julie Plec said, Delena will be together again soon, so keep those finger crossed ;) See you next chapter!