Beat the Devil's Tattoo

Author Note: Ok, this is a Lucifer! Nick /angel OC. I always wondered whether Lucifer had ever loved, even before he fell. This story starts to explore his past connections a little. There is some violence by the way. Let me know what you think.

Lucifer stared down at his brother's body, black wings unfurled and useless around him. He felt something inside him snap suddenly, and part of him wanted to fall to his knees and take back what he had done. But he didn't. He stood, curling and uncurling his fingers, contemplating Gabriel's lifeless form. I'm on their side, he'd said. Humanity. They'd taken everything from him. His father's love, his rightful place in heaven, and now his brother. Why should his kind serve them? They'd tried for millennia to change his father's last and most flawed creation, punishing them when they strayed and guiding them towards the right path. To no avail. He was wrong, Lucifer thought looking at his brother; they don't try to do good. And they do not forgive, not unless it serves their own purposes. Humanity was an infection, spreading itself across the globe, and it needed to be wiped out. But still, as he looked down on Gabriel, he felt his eyes stinging and felt the moisture pooling just above his lower lashes. The waves of emotion he was feeling were threatening to extinguish his burning rage.

He turned and left the building, walking out into the night time air and letting the rain wash the blood from his hands and arms. He looked around the empty parking lot, eyes finally landing on a solitary car parked on the highway. A girl was standing nearby, illuminated by a flickering light overhead, holding a cell phone up to the sky and cursing softly, looking around her. Lucifer walked towards her, plastering a fake smile onto his vessel's face. The girl looked torn as he approached, obviously wondering whether to make a dash for the safety of her car or to stay and see if he could help her. She settled on the latter.

She looked up at him and he took in her big, doe eyes, which were narrowed slightly to stop the rain falling into them. She stepped backwards slightly as she really looked at him. Lucifer knew his vessel was falling apart, the side of his face especially looked like it was burning from the inside out. Which in effect, it was. Finally the girl smiled at him; her mother must have told her never to judge a book by its cover or some other such nonsense. That wasn't always true, and she was going to learn the hard way. "Hi. My car broke down and I can't get reception. Can you help me out?"

Lucifer did his best to look concerned, moulding his vessel's face into the appropriate expression, "Oh, I think so. Where you headed?"

The girl pointed up the road, "Just home; a couple of towns in that direction." She glanced back at him, "But I don't need a lift or anything. Do you have a cell phone or, is there a phone in the hotel?" She took a step forward, towards the building he'd just left.

"No." He took her arm, not roughly, "Don't worry, I can take you home."

She blinked and missed the journey. This was probably a good thing, as most humans would probably find it slightly disorientating, Lucifer thought. He took in her frightened expression as she looked around. He had to admit, he'd done well to find this place. The old warehouse was crowded with broken heavy machinery, which cast strange, threatening shadows around them, closing them in. He watched a tear roll down the girl's face, and was pleased when he felt nothing at all. Stepping closer her grabbed a fistful of her dark hair, feeling bits of it snap off in his fingers, "Don't worry, this isn't personal, I hate you all equally." He whispered.

He didn't know what to do at first and considered throwing her against a wall. Instead he just drew his fist back and hit her once. The minute the punch connected her face split open in a number of places, and blood seeped out of the wounds. He felt disappointed; why are they so easy to kill? He'd wanted screaming and crying, but the girl simply stared at him wide-eyed, numb with shock. He let her fall to the ground, and she landed on her back, still staring at him, face covered with blood and tears. He placed his foot over her windpipe, preparing to press down slowly; he would see at least some fear in her eyes before she died.

Lucifer frowned as the wind picked up strength outside, rattling at the windows and throwing lashings of rain at the old steel roof. His eyes darted upwards to take in the dim light bulb above them, which had started flickering a few seconds ago. He rolled his eyes, "You have to be kidding." He stretched his hands out to the sides, "Since when do you care so much about one little human? Just let me get on with this. I'm angry; it'll make me feel better." He looked into the girl's eyes, but she was staring at something else, something behind him.

"Leave her be, Lucifer." It was a female voice, soft and musical, but strong. As he turned to face the speaker, the girl crawled away from him, getting to her feet and running, clutching at her battered face as she did so.

His heart fell for the second time that night as he looked at the woman standing before him. How could they send her? She had been his only companion in Heaven by the end; when the other's had turned from him, laughing at his pride, she had listened to him, tried to understand what he was saying. When the other's ignored him as a lost cause, she sought him out and tried to change his mind with reason. He stared at her. She was so good she was practically shining through her vessel's skin; anyone would know instantly looking at this girl that she was special. Lucifer knew he had to be careful, she was not a high ranking angel, but she was loyal to Heaven. From the look in her eyes Lucifer guessed that the time for talking had passed.

"Armaita, why have you come? My fight is not with you." As he looked at her, he remembered everything she had done for him, every time she had remained loyal to him when he commanded her and, even at the end, how she had refused to help strike him down.

The other angel smiled at him, raising her arms towards him. He gladly walked towards her, intending to hold her, intending to remember what love felt like. But when he reached her he found that he could not look her in the eyes, could not stand before her. So he fell to his knees and looked away, finally feeling a tear fall and run down his cheek. He buried his face against her legs, grabbing them and holding on like he had when they'd gathered round him in Heaven for the last time; Michael with his flaming sword ready to pull him away from her and cast him out forever. He felt a hand under his chin, guiding his face up so that she was looking directly at him. He flinched as she struck him, right below the left eye, and he fell sprawling on the ground.

"Was your fight with Gabriel, then?" She walked round him, shaking her head. "No. You killed him because he disagreed with you. Just like you killed so many of our kind before you were cast down; you killed them because they wouldn't serve you instead of God. Your pride killed them." She knelt beside him, and the flash of pity in her eyes awakened the anger in the pit of Lucifer's stomach. She shook her head again, "Your tears are the tears of a liar. You don't feel, you don't feel anything and you never have. You're not sorry you killed your brother, and these, these tears, are a show. You've never loved in your life and I don't think you know how."

He reached for her, grasping her and throwing her to the ground, wrapping a hand around her neck, "I have loved. I loved my father, and he hated me. I loved my brother's and they turned against me. I loved you...and you..."

Armaita stared up at him, "Loved me? How did you show me love, Lucifer? When they threw you down you grabbed hold of me and tried to pull me into hell with you. Is that love?"

He glared at her, Yes, in a way, it is, he thought. He clenched his fist, and gritted his teeth but in the end he could only respond in one way. He hit her, heard the back of her vessel's head bounce off the concrete slightly. He only knew one way to deal with disobedience, and he felt like he was back at the head of Heaven's host dealing with an unruly soldier.

She looked up at him, eyes slightly dimmer than they had been before, "I listened to you for hours, for days, Lucifer. I wanted to understand what you were saying. I tried so hard. Even after you were gone I wanted to understand. And now I do." He looked down at her, soundlessly begging her not to give him another reason to hit her. "It was never about freeing us, was it? All that nonsense about angel's being better than humans, about deserving more than we had. You never wanted that. Everything you did you did for yourself, because you wanted power."

He hit her again, and her lip split. She spit the blood onto the ground and continued to tell him what deep down he already knew. As he hit her again he whispered at her, "Please, stop talking. Just stop."

And finally she did. Her head rolled back, but her eyes were still focused on his face. He reached a hand into her jacket and pulled out the blade he knew she'd be carrying. He studied it and held it over her.

She coughed, more blood seeping out of her cracked lips, "Is this love too?" She croaked up at him.

Lucifer gripped the hilt of the knife, licking his lips and trying to summon up the courage to use it. As he looked down at her, he found himself unsure whether he could do this again, whether he could endure the feeling of metal cutting through somebody he cared for twice in one night. If he killed her he would sever what was probably his final tie to Heaven, and to the peace he had enjoyed whilst he'd been there with his brothers and sisters.

He dropped the blade and it clattered noisily on the concrete. He backed up, heading for the door. Finally he saw Armaita close her eyes, allowing her vessel to heal. If Armaita served Michael anywhere near as loyally as she had served him then she would never stop searching. As Lucifer walked out into the night he felt certain that she would find him again. A small part of him hoped she would.