The next couple days were the worst in Murphy's young life.

He went to church with Connor, praying by his side, their shoulders touching as he asked God for help. He ate his meals with Connor, their fingers touching slightly as they passed things across the table, Murphy pushing his food around his plate but barely eating. He walked to school with Connor and back home alone, Connor usually spending the afternoon with Katie while Murphy had chores to do, his punishment for staining his sheets not yet finished.

Murphy actually welcomed the chores now, he could focus on what he was doing instead of on what his twin was doing, he had a distraction from Connor, however brief it was. He worked as hard as he could, sweat pouring off his body as he tried to exhaust himself, vowing to work until he could no longer see straight. Maybe if he was completely exhausted, he'd be able to sleep for more than an hour a night, at least that's what he hoped.

But sleep rarely came and when it did come, it rarely stayed for long. Night after night Murphy would lie in his bed, haunted by his thoughts, trying to stop any fantasies before they started. But night after night, his eyes would stare across the room, trying to see Connor in the moonlight...Connor always looked so perfect & beautiful in the moonlight. Even though Murphy tried not to, he had to look, he couldn't help himself. Murphy would only look away when he'd feel the thickness growing between his legs, his dick stiffening & straining against his boxers as it rose to attention. He hadn't touched himself in days and his erections were killing him, his dick practically begging for release. But if he wanked, he'd think of Connor...and he was trying not to think of Connor.

He wondered if anyone ever died from blue balls...

So while Murphy suffered with his throbbing cock, refusing to touch it no matter how much it begged, he'd listen to Connor breathe softly in his sleep from his nearby bed. And Murphy would lie to himself over & over. He was no longer in love with Connor, he really wasn't, he was ready to move on. He wasn't in love...he wasn't.

The very worst part of the night wasn't the lack of sleep. It wasn't the quiet in the house. It wasn't even the painful hard-on that Murphy constantly had between his legs. It was the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that covered Murphy like his soft green blanket, enveloping him completely, making him ache for his twin.

He knew if he asked, Connor would let him crawl in bed with him, he never refused, not ever. He'd be safe & warm with Connor, he wouldn't be lonely...Connor would hold him tight in his arms, probably all night long. But as much as Murphy wanted to be close to Connor, as much as he needed his touch, as much as he ached to be held, Murphy wouldn't let himself ask...he had a vow to stick to.

So instead of asking his brother for comfort, instead of giving in & allowing himself to be held in Connor's arms once again, Murphy stayed put, lonely in his bed. He closed his eyes, pressing his face into his pillow to muffle his crying...he didn't want to wake Connor. He drifted off to sleep with tears still leaking from his eyes.

Connor woke to the sound of his brother's soft moan of his name, bolting upright in his bed. He looked to his right, trying to see Murphy in the next bed, trying to see if he was okay, but it was too dark to see much of anything. Connor paused, thinking maybe it had just been his imagination, or maybe a dream, but his instincts told him otherwise. Murphy had called out to him...Murphy needed him, something was wrong.

"Murph? You awake?" Connor whispered, paused for a moment, and waited for a response.

"Murphy?"

What he heard next made him jump from his bed & quickly move to his brother's side. Murphy sounded like a small child, his voice raspy as he whined in his sleep, the word he said indistinguishable but Connor knew his twin had said his name again. The sound of his twin whining his name in his sleep sent a wave of near panic through to Connor's soul.

Connor looked down at his twin, now able to see Murphy's face in the soft moonlight filtering in through the window. Murphy's face was scrunched up, his features strained, his brow furrowed in his fitful sleep. Were those tears? Connor sat gently on the bed, his thumb carefully wiping the tears from his brother's face. Connor shook his head, Murphy looked exhausted, he had dark circles under his eyes & Connor desperately wanted to ease his twin's pain in some way but he didn't know how.

He had expected Murphy to ask to sleep in his bed, Murph always asked when he was sad or upset, but this time, Murphy hadn't said a word. His silence actually scared Connor, it wasn't like Murphy to be so oddly quiet. And it wasn't like Murphy to be this upset & not seek out his twin.

Murphy shifted in his sleep, instinctively moving closer to Connor, and Connor began to pet Murphy's hair, running his fingers through the silk, trying to comfort his distraught brother. Connor knew Murphy loved to have his hair stroked, almost as much as Connor liked touching it, and he watched as Murphy's face slowly began to relax under his caring touch.

"Hush, Murph...it's okay. Connor's here with ya."

Connor stared at his brother, his gaze running over his face, studying his features. Murphy had such a baby face, he looked so young when he slept, he looked...innocent. But Murphy also looked exhausted, he needed a good nights sleep, desperately. Murphy wasn't asking for help but Connor knew he needed it. And Connor knew what to do to make sure Murphy got what he needed.

Connor climbed into Murphy's bed, wrapping his twin in his arms & pulling him close. He felt Murphy instantly relax & snuggle closer to his body, his legs intertwining with Connor's. Connor lifted his head & looked at the boy in his arms, seeing Murphy's face finally completely calm & at peace. Mission accomplished.

"Good, Murph...you sleep now. I've got ya...Connor's here."

Connor kissed his brother's forehead, holding his lips to his skin for a few moments before softly kissing him again a second time. Connor held Murphy in his arms, rocking him gently & rubbing his back as the boy slept soundly for the first time in days. Connor stayed awake, comforting his brother with his presence, until he was satisfied that Murphy wouldn't wake until morning. Only then did he allow himself to sleep as well.

They slept the rest of the night wrapped around each other, arms & legs intertwined, bodies becoming one, each twin finding comfort in the other.

Murphy woke slowly, he always woke slowly, and he was certain he was in the middle of a dream, a wonderfully intense dream full of Connor. His best dreams were always about Connor & this one was especially vivid, it felt like Connor was right there with him. Murphy didn't want to open his eyes, he was afraid the dream would stop, so he kept his eyes closed & enjoyed the sensation as he lingered halfway between being asleep & being awake.

Every time he inhaled, he smelled Connor, it was like his scent was all over him, all over his bed. He adored the way Connor smelled, it was not only comforting and familiar, it was sexy & intoxicating. Murphy wondered if he could get high just by smelling Connor's scent.

Murphy's arms & legs were wrapped around his dream, his Connor, Murphy's body conforming to the body that held him tightly. He shifted closer to the warmth next to him, not even realizing he did so, his movement was pure instinct.

Hard...his dick was rock hard, swollen with need, pressing against a firm thigh. He shifted again, grinding his cock into that thigh, and he began to move his hips leisurely, rubbing & pressing his fat prick into the warmth he was wrapped around.

Murphy knew he shouldn't be doing this, he had made a vow, he wasn't supposed to be thinking of Connor at all in that way. But this dream felt so fucking amazing, so real, and his dick was so fucking hard, what would one more dream hurt? He needed to cum so bad, it'd been too long, the ache between his legs driving him on.

"Murph? What are ya doing?"

Murphy could swear he heard Connor's voice but that was impossible. When Murphy had wet dreams of Connor, all Connor ever said was filthy things while he fucked Murphy, things that Murphy could only dream of hearing for real. So Murphy ignored the voice & grinded a little harder, his cock so fucking sensitive that it wouldn't take much more for Murphy to cum in his pants.

He felt a hand on his bare shoulder, fingers gripping tightly, and Connor's insistent voice cut through his sleep filled haze. "You need to stop, Murph. C'mon...wake up."

Murphy froze, only a heartbeat away from a body shaking orgasm, his dick practically twitching. Realization flooded his mind...Connor's voice, Connor's smell, Connor's body was right there...this was no dream, he wasn't still sleeping, this was fucking reality. He opened his eyes & lifted his head, looking up to see Connor's shocked expression, his own expression matching his twin's. Connor stared at his overheated brother with wide eyes, suddenly unsure of what to say.

"C-Conn?"

Murphy silently begged God to let this be a bad dream, like the one he used to have about being naked & hard in front of the entire school. He swallowed the lump in his throat, he knew this was no dream, he had been humping Connor...and now Connor was staring at him.

Connor chuckled nervously, glancing down at his brother's crotch that was still pressed firmly into his thigh. "What say we get out of bed, okay Murph?"

And then Connor shifted against his brother, inadvertently rubbing his thigh over Murphy's still hard prick as he attempted to extricate himself from their position. He shifted a second and third time, his thigh pressing a little harder as he moved, and that was all Murphy needed.

Murphy clenched his eyes shut as hard as he could & bit his lip, trying not to let happen what he knew was happening. He felt the familiar tightening of his balls begin, he couldn't stop it, he hadn't wanked in days & his dick was oversensitive. He tried to hold his breath but as the tingling at the base of his dick turned into waves of hot pleasure, a moan from deep in his chest began, a moan he couldn't stop, a moan that was loud & full of ecstasy. He tried to roll away from Connor and ended up on his back, he was trying to get away...he didn't want him to see.

But Connor saw. He saw Murphy's back arch, he saw Murphy's body shake, he saw Murphy's face contort in pleasure.

He saw Murphy cum.

As Murphy's body slumped on the bed, a wet stain formed across the front of his boxers, his cum soaking into the material. His chest was heaving & covered in sweat as he struggled to catch his breath, his dick softening slowly between his shaking legs.

There was silence in the room...Murphy opened his eyes slowly...he was terrified. Not only had he humped Connor, he had cum in front of him too...because he had humped him. What would Connor think?

Connor was hovering over him, eyes scanning his face, a slight smirk on his lips. "You okay, Murph?"

Murphy nodded slowly, why was Connor smirking? Did he think this was funny? It wasn't funny, not at all. He knew what just happened, he knew Murphy had just cum in his pants, he knew because he had watched. He fucking watched.

"Well that was...interesting, Murph. Nice to know I have that effect on you," Connor joked, trying to make light of the situation, his smirk turning into a smile. "I usually like a little sweet talk first, though. Maybe a nice dinner, some flowers are good. I need to be spoiled before I let someone dry hump my leg. Try to remember that for next time, aye?"

Murphy felt like crying, Connor was making jokes and it hurt. Murphy hadn't meant for any of that to happen, he didn't mean to rub one out against his brother, he didn't know what he was doing, he thought it was a dream. He'd slept in the same bed with Connor a million times & he'd never humped him before, and he'd never cum in front of him either. And now Connor was making jokes about what happened, about what Murphy did, about what Connor saw.

"I-I'm sorry, Connor. I didn't mean ta...you know...I-I really didn't mean to do that," Murphy quickly mumbled as he sat up, looking away from his brother's amused expression, moving off the bed & heading to the bathroom to clean himself.

"What the fuck, Murph? You're not even gonna hold me after all that? Just hump & dump me, is that it?" Connor's voice followed Murphy into the bathroom, his brother's badgering stopping only when the door slammed shut.

Twenty minutes later, Murphy entered the kitchen, he was clean but his face & neck were still crimson red and he couldn't look at his twin. Connor was almost done with his cereal & he smiled at his brother, watching him gather his own bowl & spoon before sitting down.

"No kiss for me, Murph?" Connor giggled as Murphy tried to ignore him. "I feel so used."

Murphy poured cereal into his bowl, followed by milk, and he began to eat his breakfast. He knew Connor was probably just as embarrassed as he was, maybe even more so seeing as it was his leg Murphy had been wrapped around. But still, the teasing hurt & he wished Connor would stop.

Connor noticed the look on his brother's face. He hadn't meant to hurt him, he was only trying to lighten the mood a little, trying to make jokes so that they didn't have to talk about what Murphy did...to Connor...because of Connor.

"Look, Murph. I'm just kidding, all right? I don't mean anything by it. It just shocked me to wake up & have you on me like that. You were really going at it." Connor chuckled, he was nervous talking to Murphy about this. "S'not a big deal though, okay? You obviously didn't know what you were doing...sometimes your dick has a mind of its own, right?"

Murphy had stopped eating his cereal, he was pushing the corn flakes around his bowl instead of eating. "Why were you in my bed?"

"Because you weren't in mine."

A few days prior, Connor's response would have sent Murphy into fits of happiness. But he refused to pretend anymore, no matter how much it hurt, he wouldn't make believe that Connor said those things because he wanted him. His heart just couldn't take it.

"You shouldn't have watched me. You should have left, Connor. Or at least looked away."

Connor slid to the chair next to Murphy, reaching out & covering his hand with his own. "I know. And I'm sorry that you're embarrassed. But I just couldn't look away. I've never seen you like that, you were so, so...so wild. And out of control, like you couldn't stop yourself for anything. I just couldn't look away."

"You should have tried."

Connor nodded, Murphy was right, he didn't even try to look away. He just sat there & watched Murphy cum in his pants, he had been fascinated by what his brother was doing...he had watched it all with rapt attention.

Murphy pulled his hand away, Connor realizing that he should have said something else by now.

"Let's just forget it happened, okay? Please, Murph? I won't tease you anymore & I'll never mention it again. Can we just pretend it never happened?"

Murphy made a snorting sound. If there was one thing he was good at, it was pretending. He had mastered the fine art of pretending a long time ago.

Murphy finally looked at his brother once again, a blush creeping over his face, and Connor relaxed. Murphy was looking at him again, that was a good sign.

"Aye…I can pretend, Connor." At least he could try.