Chapter 11

C*E*C*E*C*E

Charles sat at his desk and stared at the calendar in front of him. He counted the days left in the Season, counted the days he'd been courting Elsie, counted the days until Christmas and New Year's Day. So many days ahead of him, all of which were destined to be happier now that he had embarked on something wonderful with Elsie. Still, there was part of him that grew melancholy when counting all those days, when he began to think of all the wasted ones.

He sighed and leaned back into his chair, trying to stave off the headache which was threatening to overpower his thoughts. With his eyes closed, he went over the numbers in his mind again. So many days filled with duty and hard work, climbing stairs and serving meals and so few of them spent lavishing Elsie with the love and adoration she so richly deserved. It was one of those times where his heart and mind were at war with no sign of a clear winner in sight.

Elsie stood quietly in the doorway of his sitting room and watched as he furrowed his brows, rubbed his temples, and sighed heavily. Something was troubling him and she hated to see him in such a state. As softly as she could, she stepped into his office and closed the door behind her. "What's wrong, Charles?"

He jumped at hearing her voice, wondering how long she'd been standing there watching him. "Just thinking too hard, I suppose," he said, holding out his hand to her. She took it and gave his a gentle squeeze. "If you'd like to talk about it, I'm told I'm a good listener and an excellent secret keeper," she teased. "I don't like seeing you upset."

He shook his head and gave her a weak smile. "Thank you, but I'm not quite ready to share my thoughts just yet. I will, though, and soon. I promise."

Elsie took him at his word and decided her best course of action was not to push him. Charles would tell her all she needed and wanted to know when the time was right. She merely had to trust him and let him come to terms with his thoughts. "Well, at least let me offer you some comfort," she said softly.

Without another word, she stood behind him and forced him to sit up a little before easing him out of his jacket. She helped him sit back into his chair and guided his head to rest against her stomach as her nimble fingers began to massage his temples, his cheekbones, and finally his neck and shoulders. Occasionally, she would drop a light kiss to his forehead and whisper her love and devotion to him. When she felt him beginning to release the tension he'd been holding on to, she draped her arms around him, letting her hands glide down his chest and settle on his stomach. Her breath was warm against his ear. "Would you like to take a turn about the gardens for some fresh air? It might do you some good." She noted the calendar pages on his desk and his scribbled notations in various combinations and her curiosity was piqued, but still she said nothing.

He reached down and took her hands in his, bringing them to his lips and kissing them each in turn. "I feel much better already, though a walk outside might do me some good. Will you go with me? I'd like to talk to you about something."

Elsie felt a heavy ball form in the pit of her stomach and a cold wave pass over her. "Of course, love. Let me tell Mrs. Patmore we're going outside, and I'll meet you at the back door."

Charles stood and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Elsie." He smiled and tapped the end of her nose with his finger then guided her to the doorway before turning to slip on his jacket once more.

Once they were safely in the gardens, away from prying eyes and curious ears, Charles dropped Elsie's hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her into his side. "I apologize for the way you found me earlier. I suppose I was thinking too hard and letting it get to me."

"You don't owe me an apology, love. But if you'd like to explain what's made you so upset, I'd like to help, if I can and you'll allow."

Charles indicated a small bench up ahead and motioned for Elsie to sit before he followed. "I was counting the days … days here, days there, days we're together, days we're apart, hours in service, half days, holidays … counting the days."

"And what would possess you to do such a thing?" She reached across and took his hands in hers, holding them securely in her lap, reassuring him with her warmth and her touch.

"I realized this morning that I'll need to return to London, leaving you behind. I won't be gone long, but this will be our first separation since we've started courting. I'm not sure how well I will handle it, or how things will be when I return."

"Things here will be just as you left them, only I'll be terribly sad to see you leave and extremely excited when you return. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will have changed between us. Is that what's troubling you, Charles?"

"No, no. I know in my heart that a little time apart won't change how we feel about each other. I am merely regretting that we have to be apart at all." He gave her a sad smile which reminded her of a scolded, remorseful child. "Sounds silly now that I've said the words aloud, doesn't it?"

"It's not silly at all. I've been thinking on that, too, though I have been trying to focus on the present and not the days when you're gone. Still, we will be able to write letters to each other. We've both proven to be rather skilled in expressing ourselves in that regard. I have no doubts that our letters will provide a much needed connection for us while you're away."

"I swear, Elsie, I will write to you every day. If I'm lucky, I might even be able to phone you from the London house, if you'd like."

"I would like that very much, and I promise to write you faithfully, too." She scooted closer to him on the bench, wrapping his arms around her and resting her head on his shoulder. "I will take your letters with me to the bench every day and read them. It won't be the same without you here, but at least I'll have a piece of you with me in the form of the handwritten words of love."

"I will read your letters to me before bed each night. I won't have much time during the day, and they will be a welcomed reminder of what's happy and good in my life right before I drift off to sleep."

"And will you dream of me, Charles? Will you dream of our times on the bench, the library settee, the garden, the lake?"

"All those places and more, my Elsie. I will dream of new places to take you, new adventures to share. I'll return to you with more ideas and more ways to court you."

"You need only return to me with a song in your heart and a kiss on your lips. That will make me a happy woman."

"And what would make you a happy woman in the current moment?" His voice was low and deep, the voice that sent shivers over her body and made her long for things she had dreamt of but yet to experience.

"A happier you and a kiss for me," she answered softly, shifting in his arms so she could look up into his eyes.

"Then, both you shall have," he whispered, lowering his lips to hers and kissing her with enthusiasm."

A few blissful moments later, Elsie pulled back and cupped his cheek, brushing her thumb across his lips. "I know something else that will make us both happy." He quirked an eyebrow at her in anticipation of her answer. "We are supposed to go to Mrs. Ellerby's for tea this afternoon and perhaps we might make one or two more stops. I have an idea, which you may or may not enjoy."

"You have that look in your eyes, Elsie Hughes! Out with it … now, please."

"No! A woman is allowed to have her own surprises for her man, is she not? You'll just have to be a little patient. And, to be honest, the idea just came to me so it may not even be feasible. I'll have to make a little side trip once we get into town."

"A side trip? So, you're going to leave me at Mrs. Ellerby's all alone? What if Mrs. Winters stops in or any of those other gossipy women from the village?"

"Charles Carson, you deal with gossipy women all the time, upstairs and downstairs. You don't mean to sit here and tell me that any one of them would intimidate you. Well, any of the normal women. I will allow you the Dowager Countess. She seems to intimidate most everyone ..."

"But not you," he added quickly.

"Well, no, not me, though to be fair, I have very little interaction with her and she has really no say in the running of the household. That is for Her Ladyship, and we get along quite well."

"And the whole house benefits from that, too. You seem to have a nice rapport with her and she respects you. That's more than most of the households in England can boast. I've seen housekeepers with far less responsibilities and far more restrictions than you enjoy here."

"Then, I shall say an extra prayer this evening, giving thanks for leading me to this house and this family, but more importantly for leading me to you."

Charles smiled and kissed her forehead then rested his against hers. "You say the sweetest things to me."

"I could turn the tables and say the same about you, you know. I've been told I'm beautiful and loved more since you've started courting me than I have been in the whole of my life."

Charles stroked her cheek tenderly, drinking in the sight of her lovely features. "That is something of which I will never tire of repeating, either." He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly and softly on the lips, a kiss which left her wanting more. When she leaned in for another kiss, he pulled back. "We must save something for later. I do believe my sweetheart has errands to run in the village, a surprise to orchestrate, and a tea to attend." He gave her a wink and stood, offering her his hand. "Keep me steady?"

"Always," she said, accepting his hand and standing, her body pressed flush against his and her arms around his waist. "Feeling better, love?"

"I always feel on top of the world with you in my arms," he replied as he began to lead them back to the house.

"Now who's being sweet and flirtatious?"

"Guilty as charged, but don't tell the maids or footmen. I have a reputation to uphold in this household."

"Your secrets are always safe with me, Mr. Carson!"

Once back inside the house, Charles went into his pantry while Elsie spoke with Mrs. Patmore, checking to see if she needed or wanted anything from the village. There were a few items on her list which Elsie promised to pick up while they were away. It wasn't long before Charles appeared with his hat in his hand, ready to escort his girl to the village for some tea and courting.

Mrs. Ellerby was pleasantly surprised to see Charles and Elsie enter her shop, and she showed them to the best table she had available. "I was hoping you two would stop by, but I couldn't be sure. Everyone's talking about how you put Mrs. Winters in her place on Sunday, and how happy we all are that you're … well, umm …"

"Courting?" Elsie offered, in an attempt to alleviate the woman's worries.

"Yes, courting. I was going to say walking out, but that didn't seem right, either," she said with a nervous laugh.

"We're still finding our way with the words, too," Charles offered with a small smile. "But, whatever it is, we're happy and that's all that matters." He reached over and covered Elsie's hand with his, giving her his most charming smile.

"Indeed it is," she countered, turning her hand beneath his so that their hands rested palm to palm, her fingertips slipping beneath the cuff of his shirt to lightly stroke his wrist. "With that being said, Mrs. Ellerby, could we please have a pot of tea and an apple tart for Charles and a scone for me?"

"Absolutely. I'll bring them over myself in a few minutes. And if there's anything else you need, please don't hesitate to ask." The older woman gave them a brilliant smile and walked back to her kitchen. She was sure once the other women in the village found out that Charles Carson and Elsie Hughes had taken tea in her shop, they'd all flock to her wanting to know all the details. Once, she might have been persuaded to give in to their demands for gossip but seeing the happy couple and how kind they had been towards her, she knew in that moment that she wouldn't be telling anything other than the most basic of facts.

"Charles, do you think you'll be comfortable sitting here for five minutes while I run down the street and check on something? It's the surprise I mentioned earlier. I promise to be back as quickly as possible."

He nodded. "Take your time. I'm sure I'll be able to survive, though it will be touch and go for a bit while you're gone. But, since you promise to return to me, I shall endure the long moments of your absence and try to fill them with memories of happier times spent in your company," he replied with a dramatic flair.

"Oh, go on with you! It's moments like these when I can easily see you being a grand success on the stage in your youth."

"Yes, well we should both be thankful that never happened. Otherwise, I might never have returned to service which ultimately led me to you." He gave her a quick wink then shooed her away from the table. "If you don't leave, I can't miss you. If I can't miss you, I can't properly reflect on the wonderful times we've spent together these last few days. If I can't properly review those moments, how on earth do you expect me to plan new and more exciting things for us in the future?"

"What a lovely way of telling me to get lost, Charles. I think I shall leave you to the charms of Mrs. Winters, who just happened to walk through the door," she said with a quick glance towards the door.

Charles visibly stiffened and a look of panic crossed his face as he slowly turned in the direction of the door. Seeing no one, especially not Mrs. Winters, he turned back to Elsie. "That was dirty, very dirty of you."

"Oh, I don't know. I think that's what's called fair play." She placed her index and middle fingers to her lips and kissed them, gave a quick glance around the shop to make sure they weren't being watched then she pressed those fingers to his lips. "Be back as quickly as possible." Before Charles could say anything else, she was out of her seat and heading for the door, hoping that her idea would put a smile on her beloved's face.

True to her word, Elsie returned promptly and Charles seemed lost in a daydream when she approached the table. "My goodness! That looks like a wonderful memory you're reliving." She immediately began to pour their tea and survey the untouched apple tart and her scone. "You didn't have to wait for me. You could have enjoyed your tart and tea. It took a little longer than expected, but we're all set."

"Who says I was relieving a memory? Actually, I was contemplating something in my mind and playing out all the different scenarios associated with it. And, I was always told it was impolite to eat before everyone at the table was ready. You weren't here so you weren't ready."

"Fair enough. I'm here now so why don't we enjoy our tea and you can tell me all about these daydreams of yours."

"Not yet. I'm saving those ideas for another day. Why don't you tell me about this side trip of yours and how it fits in with the rest of our afternoon together?"

Elsie took a long sip of her tea and a bite of her scone, trying to think of the best way to present her idea, the one which would cause the least resistance from Charles. Hoping she had found her way, she started.

"This morning, in the garden, we talked of missing each other and writing letters while we're apart. I thought we might take a gander at some of the new stationary and choose something special, something for you and for me."

Charles dabbed his mouth with his napkin and swallowed his large bite of tart before replying. "That's why you left me in here? To check on stationary?"

"No, not exactly. That's only the first part of it. That's just something I've been meaning to mention to you. I think it would be quite lovely to have a special stationary, something we could use while we're apart. It might sound sentimental but it would be something we purchased together, something to spark a happy memory when we see the envelope."

"Elsie, that is a wonderful idea, and sentimental or not, I love it. I can just imagine the smile on your face when you see the special paper from me. And I know my smile won't be contained when I receive a letter from you."

"Good, I'm glad you approve." She waited for a moment before springing the true surprise on him. "Aren't you curious about the real reason I dashed out on you earlier?" She giggled as he vigorously nodded his head, unable to speak from the apple tart in his mouth. "Well, believe me when I tell you that I could never forget how handsome you are, how your eyes widen when you smile, or how your lips purse together when you're trying to hide something. But, on those lonely days when I am missing you terribly, I thought it might be nice to have a portrait of you, something to keep by my bed. You'd be the first face I see each morning and the last one I see each night, even if you can't be here in person."

Charles looked at her with a stunned expression on his face. He had been thinking of that very same thing earlier today, but wasn't sure how to broach the subject or even if Elsie would approve. "What a lovely thing to say, Elsie." He reached across the table and took her hand in his.

"Then, you'll agree?" she asked, stunned that he'd given in so easily.

"I will, but on one condition … no, make that two," he amended quickly.

She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly to one side. And here was where Charles Carson offered his dozen or so reasons why he couldn't possibly sit for a portrait, she couldn't afford it, or some other ridiculous notion that would spoil her idea. "And those would be …?"

"Simple. It's only fair that if you have a photo of me to see you through those long days apart, I should be granted the same comfort. I'll gladly submit and sit for a portrait for you, if you'll agree to sit for one that I can take with me to London. I'll even let you choose the pose and the picture you like the best."

Elsie was speechless for a moment, shocked that he'd given in so easily. "I can agree to those terms, though I insist on paying," she added, sure that that was going to be his next stipulation.

"No. Either we split the bill or I pay for everything, and I'll have no discussion on the matter."

"But, it was my idea so I should be allowed to pay. You have bought dinner, theatre tickets, flowers … please, let me buy something for you, for both of us. It would mean a lot to me, Charles, and it's something I'd really like to do."

He thought about it for a long moment. "Then, the tea and stationary are my treats. Are we agreed?"

Elsie smiled and nodded her head, surprised he'd compromised with her so easily. She knew she was asking a great deal from him, but she was confident that it was the right and fair thing to do. "And what's your other stipulation? You said you had two."

"I want us to have a photo taken together, please. We can have two developed, one for each of us. I'd like something on my desk in London to remind me of you. When I come home, I'll bring it with me and it will take a place of pride on my desk here. What do you say?"

Elsie felt tears welling up in her eyes and she bit her bottom lip in an effort to keep them at bay. "I think you have taken my simple idea and turned it into something grand and wonderful. Do you think it would be too much of an expense if we splurged and bought matching frames for our desk photos?"

"My love, nothing is too extravagant or expensive when it comes to you. All that I have or ever hope to have is yours. A photo frame or two, an afternoon tea, theatre tickets, flowers, dinners … that is nothing compared to what you deserve. I wish I was able to give you more, take you to fancy restaurants or lavish holidays, but I do the best I can with what I have."

"You make every day extraordinary, love, and I am blessed beyond measure. She leaned across the table and gave him a quick peck on the lips, not knowing or caring if anyone saw her display of love for him.

Charles sat, stunned, that Elsie had just openly kissed him, though he couldn't be bothered to regret it for a second. She seemed incredibly happy, and to be honest with himself, he was, too. Once again, they had learned another lesson during their courtship: the art of compromising. It was such a simple lesson to learn and one he was unlikely to forget. For, by compromising with the love of his life, Charles had made her a happy woman, had made himself happy, and would now be able to take her lovely smile, her beautiful face, an image of her and one of them wherever he had to go. Now, she would always be with him … in his heart, in his mind, in his dreams … and now his office.

"Let's finish up here and go get those photos taken, Elsie. Then, we can go see about frames and stationary."

"I need to pick up a few things for Beryl, too, while we're here. It shouldn't take me long. I can drop off her list with the grocer and have him deliver the items tomorrow. I don't want to waste a single moment of this afternoon."

As Charles made his way to the register to pay, Elsie called out to him softly. "Get something for later so we can share. It might be nice to have a little picnic under the stars tonight on our bench."

Charles grinned from ear to ear. "Something decadent, chocolate, and a little messy," he whispered back. "I've had a few ideas about chocolate icing and those tasty lips of yours," he teased. "Tonight might be the perfect night to share those thoughts with you, a perfect night indeed."

Elsie's eyes lit up with excitement and anticipation. If his ideas for this evening were anything like the last ones he'd had, she was sure she'd never look at chocolate frosting the same way again … perhaps never again without blushing.

A/N: Thanks again for reading and reviewing the story. I love hearing what you're thinking about their courtship and hearing what makes you happy with each chapter. Your comments and reviews keep me motivated and inspired. Thank you!