Chapter Nine: Tenth Therapy Session
"Yes, we'll be there…Lauren got Mercedes to demand what now?…Oh, Gaga. The idea of those two working in concert makes me want to shake in my Chukka boots. What about you?…Well, that will be interesting. I swear, Mr. Schuester's "lessons" get stranger all the time." The teen boy glanced at his wristwatch, though his attention was still mainly on the phone at his ear. Then he started chuckling. "Finn thought cucumbers could give you what?… I stand corrected, this newest lesson is, I suppose, less weird than that one. I love Holly, I do, but with that group you never know what they'll pick up, and what they'll completely ignore…Listen I have to go, alright? I'll text you tonight…Love you too, Tee."
Just as he hung up, still shaking his head at his step-brother's stupidity, the office door opened. Mandy and the girl scheduled before Kurt stepped out and shared a quick hug, then the doctor smiled over at the boy.
"Come on in, Kurt."
… …
Tenth Session with Kurt Hummel; Wednesday the 4th at 4:30 p.m.
MC: So, care to tell me a little bit more about what happened at Regionals? The text you sent me was a bit short. All it said was "New York, here we all come". What exactly does that mean?
KH: It means that the Warblers and New Directions tied. Again.
MC: Again?
KH: We tied at Sectionals too. To tie twice is (pause) unbelievable, really. And I'm so grateful that I have the friends I do, because no one resented the tie. Instead, they were all excited to go to New York together.
MC: Together?
KH: Yes. We're trying to work out a way to fly on the same plane and stay in the same hotel while we're in New York for Nationals.
MC: How will you work that out?
KH: Rachel and Wes. They exchanged numbers at the party on Friday.
MC: Party?
KH: The Warblers had a party planned for after Regionals. It was either going to be a "we're going to New York" or a "better luck next year" party, depending on how we placed. When we tied, Was invited everyone from McKinley to come along to the party and stay at the dorms overnight. It was amazing how well everyone got along. Finn and Flint bonded over not being able to dance, they even sang a song about it. And Wes and Rachel got into a hilarious drunk fight over how many hours a day each individual performer should be expected to practice.
MC: So there was alcohol available?
KH: Yes, but I didn't have any. I've declared myself, to both teams, the official designated driver for basically the remainder of my life. Even while he was completely smashed, Puck still made sure no one gave me anything alcoholic. Apparently, he and the others are more than a little worried that getting me drunk would mean a repeat of the night I ended up in the river. I sang a lot, instead.
MC: Anything fun?
KH: Do you know the song "A Little Priest", from Sweeney Todd.
MC: (laughs) I do, if only the version from the Johnny Depp movie.
KH: (laughs) I can understand that. Even wearing that hideous wig, Johnny was still far better looking than any man has the right to be. Anyway, Rachel and I ended up singing it. According to Tina, it was "disturbingly awesome".
MC: What did your group end up singing for Regionals, by the way?
KH: "She's Got the Look", by Roxette. Nick and Jeff were determined to do at least one song by that group. It seems they're now addicted, seeing as they've been listening to almost nothing else for the past week. And I sang a duet with Blaine of "Black Balloon", by the Goo Goo Dolls. I still think we wouldn't have tied, except I also convinced the council that we should wear something besides our horrible school blazers. And there was more than a bit of actual dancing, not just the two-step swaying from before.
MC: Well, congratulations. How about New Directions? We didn't expect to tie?
KH: They performed original songs.
MC: What does that mean?
KH: It means they wrote the songs they performed. It was stunning. Rachel wrote and sang one of the sweetest, saddest songs I've ever heard. I asked her to make me a recording, which she was overjoyed to do, and have listened to it several times. It was pretty obvious she wrote it about Finn. It was also surprisingly introspective.
MC: How so?
KH: As I've said before, generally Rachel assumes that her every action and thought is the correct one. But this song was all about how she always seems to sabotage her relationship with Finn. She titled it "Get It Right". The other song they did (pause). Quinn told me they wrote it for me. Specifically. It was (pause), it was amazing. It reminded me of why I love them so much.
MC: How so?
KH: As I've said before, generally Rachel assumes that her every action and thought is the correct one. But this song was all about how she always seems to sabotage her relationship with Finn. She titled it "Get It Right". The other song they did (pause). Quinn told me they wrote it for me. Specifically. It was (pause), it was amazing. It reminded me of why I love them so much.
MC: What was it called?
KH: "Loser Like Me". (pause) Oh! But it wasn't (pause). I mean, that title sounds (pause) not so nice, if written for an individual. But the whole point of the song was that, even if we're perceived as losers now, someday we'll be the ones at the top, and all the people who treated us badly and called us losers will regret the way they treated us. They actually used used a few of the lines I would routinely toss at the bullies when they would throw me in the dumpster. (laughs)
MC: Like what?
KH: Like that they would all work for me one day, or would end up having to wash my car as part of their menial careers. (laughs)
MC: (laughs) Sharp.
KH: I've been known to have a way with words. (pause) The song, though. (pause) It was like the best gift I could have received. Besides, you know, sharing a duet with Blaine for a competition.
MC: How is Blaine?
KH: He's good. He was just as hesitant as the council about changing things, at first, and about giving up his spot as frontman. But he decided it would be worth it, to see the Warblers performing together the way we did. He even pointed out just after we finished at Regionals that it felt a lot more like New Directions. Like we were becoming a family, instead of just a club.
MC: And how's the rest of your week gone?
KH: I (pause) don't really know. (laughs) To tell you the truth, I've been over the moon about this tie to the point that I haven't been paying attention to anything else. Subjectively, for instance, I know I had an exam in French yesterday, and I know that I aced it. But I couldn't actually tell you what it was on.
MC: When is the trip to New York?
KH: It's in another month and a half. And before that, Dalton and McKinley both have prom. Another collaborative effort of Wes and Rachel is for each group to perform at the other's prom, as practice for Nationals.
MC: Are you and Blaine planning to go, maybe you could ask him?
KH: I (pause), I don't know. He hasn't asked me yet.
MC: Well, if you want to go, maybe you could ask him?
KH: Oh my Gucci, you're right. We're both boys, so why shouldn't I be able to ask him to a dance?
MC: Anything else scheduled between now and New York?
KH: Well, New Directions still has to raise the money to go, and four of the members are also in the McKinley's Braniac team and need to pay their way to those finals in Detroit. They're making plans for a benefit concert, called the "Night of Neglect".
MC: That sounds (pause) a little distressing, actually.
KH: I know. That's mostly because Mr. Schuester was the one who decided on the name. Really, all it means is that they're performing song that have been neglected or are lesser known, or from an underrated artist. For instance, Tina told me she's planning on a song by Lykke Li.
MC: Lykke (pause) who?
KH: The only reason I even know who she is, is because Tina has been her fan for a while. As for the concert, I'm going with Blaine, and I think the rest of the Warblers might insist on coming along just to crash our date. It should be fun.
MC: Will it be your first time back at McKinley since you transferred?
KH: I (pause) suppose it will. And I know I should be worried, but I'm just too excited about life. I'm hopeful, for once. Not to mention there is no way any of the jocks would be at the school that late, particularly for a concert put on by the glee club. (laughs)
… …
Wandering the halls of McKinley during the break of the benefit concert, Kurt was surprised when he found himself remembering.
What was particularly shocking was which memories came back to him. Each one was good. Memories of silly conversations and absurd outfits and sharing gossip with friends. As much as the school should have been a place were he was constantly shadowed by old fears and torments, it was secondary when he thought of Mercedes' boisterous laugh, or Brittany's odd witticisms, or Tina's sweet smile. Santana's biting comments, Puck's badass swaggering, Artie's geeky comparisons, Quinn's soft touch, Finn's oblivious kindness, Rachel's long rants, Mike's smooth movements, Sam's subtle flirting, Becky's goodhearted cruelties, Mr. Schuester's odd excitement, Ms. Pillsbury's careful watching, Sue's evil plans, Coach Beiste's awkward friendliness…
These were the parts of McKinley he remembered most vividly. Not the slushies or the dumpster tosses. Not the harassment or the locker slams or the cruel words. His memories were of the times spent with those most dear to him. And as he considered, it occurred to him that, if he had a way to feel safer here, he would transfer back to be with those people in a second.
Then Blaine's fingers slipped between his, and the old scenes stopped.
He turned to his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
The curly-haired boy just smiled. "Thought I lost you there for a minute."
"Sorry," he blushed. "It's been a while since I've been in the school."
"Ah." Blaine's eyes were understanding, but Kurt knew that the Warbler didn't truly know. He most likely assumed Kurt was thinking of the bad things that had happened here, instead of the good.
Either way, a soft kiss was brushed across the countertenor's cheek, and the other teen tugged on his hand."We should get back to the auditorium."
"Right."
… …
Realization: I miss McKinley. Not the bullying, the people. I miss the crazy way everything happened and I miss seeing the New Directions every day.