Edward's POV: Interlude
I drove home, one hand on the steering wheel, the other wrapped tightly around Bella's waist. I wanted to keep her close, needed to feel her body against mine. During the past 22 months we had shared so many special moments – most of them positive, some painful and difficult to reflect upon – and yet, I could not recall ever feeling as close to Bella as I did at this very moment. Our wedding night, an unforgettable consummation of the love we felt for each other, came very, very close, but these emotions – so strong and binding – exceeded even that special moment when we had climaxed together, our minds, our bodies, our souls – as one.
There was a God – doubt no longer existed in my mind. I had seen evidence of His existence, of His miracle, with my own eyes. Our child, conceived against all belief and all odds, was my proof. He or she thrived, with a strong and resilient heartbeat, providing me at last with hope for an afterlife.
"I have a question". Bella suddenly spoke up, crashing through my silent soliloquy. "Why do they call it morning sickness, when it actually lasts all freaking day?"
"Good question", I murmured as I turned into the driveway that led to our cottage. "Some day, I'll run that one past Carlisle. In the meantime, do you need me to stop, or can you hold on for another three minutes?"
"No, I'm okay", she shook her head. "Just a little queasy – I don't feel like throwing up".
I squeezed her hand. "Almost home, love. Think about something nice – anything that makes you smile. Think about just how much I love you".
Her pale face lit up with her beautiful smile, and I caught my breath, unashamedly lovestruck.
I opened the car door for her and reached in, taking her hand to steady her as she climbed out. "Edward, really, I'm okay. I'm not an invalid".
"Just being a gentleman; it's got nothing to do with you being pregnant".
"Liar", she muttered under her breath.
"I heard that".
The house was silent as I pushed the front door open. As was my habit, I immediately picked up the remote control to switch on the stereo. Inxs's 'Never Tear Us Apart' filled the room, and as I still held Bella's hand in mine, I gently pulled her close to my chest, wrapping my arms around her. We swayed to the ballad, and Bella rested her head against my shoulder, her arms around my neck.
"Feeling better?" I whispered, and she nodded. "Do you want to lie down for a while? You look tired".
"Only if you lie down with me. But I don't want to sleep".
"Isabella Cullen", I spoke disapprovingly, holding back the laughter. "What are you suggesting?"
To reply, she reached up on her toes and pressed her warm lips to mine. I took her face in both my hands and kissed her back, my fingers gently stroking her hair. Her mouth took on a new urgency and I responded, after a moment moving my lips down towards her throat, her collarbone, her neck, to allow her to breathe. Without thinking, I reached around her waist and pressed my hand against the small of her back, pulling her up close against my aroused body. My mouth returned to hers, and as she moaned softly I suddenly became aware of my erection, hard against her stomach. I instantly moved back, breaking our kiss and pressing my lips against the top of her head.
"I'm sorry, love", I was breathless. "I didn't think".
"Sorry for what?" Her expression was confused.
"I got carried away, I …"
"I wanted you to get carried away", Bella spoke quietly. "Can't we get carried away together?"
I stared down at her, my eyes obviously showing my alarm. "Bella – we … we can't …"
"Why not?"
"Its . . . you're . . ." I was struggling here. "You know!"
"Edward, you're not making any sense".
I exhaled slowly. "Bella, I don't think . . . I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt the baby".
Her voice was very calm. "You will not hurt me, or our baby. Edward, it's perfectly safe – all the books say so".
"Since when did you start reading books on pregnancy?" I had her there, and she knew it. "Aha!!"
"Okay, all right, I haven't – yet. But it's a well known fact, Edward. Everybody knows it!"
"Bella" I sighed, "you're very fragile right now, and . . ."
"I am not fragile, I am pregnant!"
"It's the same thing!"
"No, it's not. This isn't the 19th century, Edward, it's the 21st. I suppose that next you'll be telling me I have to stay hidden away in this house until after the baby's born, because you're mortified that someone might see my huge, pregnant tummy!"
I frowned. "I'm not that old fashioned".
"You could have fooled me!"
I opened my mouth, prepared to give back just as good as she gave, but Bella's lips were suddenly on mine, and I completely forgot what I was about to say. My body was responding, whilst my mind was valiantly trying to intercede. Needless to say, my body was winning.
"Bella", I panted as I pulled away from her, only to remove my lips from hers, brushing them carelessly against the top of her breast. "Please, sweetheart, lets think this through".
"Let's not". Her hands were suddenly unbuttoning my jeans, slowly pulling down the zipper, and I gasped as her hand wrapped around my erection, my willpower dissolving within seconds.
"Oh, Jesus . . .", I reached down and pulled her skirt up to her waist, my fingers gentle against her skin as I pulled her panties down. She was aroused, wet and ready for me, but still I hesitated, unsure of my ability to hold back, to be as gentle as required, so as not to hurt Bella or our baby. I longed to plunge into her, to bring her to orgasm within moments, but I managed to pull my mouth from hers, to press my lips against her throat, to whisper how much I loved her, and to hope that, for right now, that was enough.
"Give me your cell phone".
The request from Bella was unexpected. "What?"
"I mean it, Edward. I'm calling Carlisle".
I was nonplussed. "And . . . why, exactly?"
"He's a doctor". Bella shrugged. "I'll ask him if it's safe to . . ."
"The hell you will!" I stared down at her beautiful, flushed face. "I'll be damned if I'm going to wait for Carlisle's approval to . . ."
"Then kiss me, and shut up". The smile was one of victory, the tone of her voice jubilant, and I surrendered, my fingers going to the buttons on her blouse, then unfastening the lace bra. "You are an unforgivable wretch", I murmured as my hand reached between her legs and began to stroke, ever so gently. "You are very turned on right now, I can tell".
"So are you", Bella's voice was husky, and I closed my eyes tightly, determined to take this slowly and carefully. "Please, Edward, make love to me – I can't wait any longer".
Slowly, I lowered her to the floor, the plush carpet soft beneath us. My mouth was on hers as my fingers brought her closer to her climax. "You have to tell me", I whispered as I gently used my knee to push her thighs apart. "If I'm not gentle enough, if I'm hurting you. Promise me, Bella".
"I promise", she gasped as I entered her, and I paced myself, carefully thrusting forward, using all of my self-control, just as I had during our first intimate experience three months before, determined not to hurt her, not to cause any trauma. "Is this okay?" I managed to ask whilst my mouth devoured her breasts. I was vaguely aware of her urgent nod as she matched my rhythm, her fingertips gripping my shoulders tightly, and I could feel her orgasm building towards a climax, her breathing fast and shallow. "Oh God, oh God.!"
I held her tightly against me as she climaxed, and within seconds I was releasing my own pent-up fluids, my hands braced tightly against the floor as I emptied myself into her. Experience, and extreme guilt, had taught me not to have my hands on Bella at this precise, uncontrolled moment. Her heart thudded erratically against my own silent chest, and I buried my face into her neck, gasping for air that was no longer required – old habits die hard.
I stayed, buried deep inside of her, until her heartbeat and respirations had somewhat returned to normal. I pulled away reluctantly, pressing my lips against hers as she sighed deeply, a smile of satisfaction on her glowing face.
"You are . . . dangerous", I growled softly. "You set me up, didn't you. And all this time, I thought I was the monster".
"You give me way too much credit, Edward". Her smile widened. "I was only following your lead".
My jaw dropped as my eyes widened and she laughed, her brown eyes teasing as she reached up to stroke my face. "There's a positive in all of this, Edward. I feel so much better!"
I lifted one eyebrow. "So . . . this is the answer to your morning sickness – is that what you're trying to tell me?"
"I think so. In fact . . . " she paused dramatically. "I can feel it coming on again . . ."
"I'll bet you can", I muttered as I rolled her gently on top of me. "Well, we can't have you throwing up, now can we . . ."
"Definitely not", her lips were hard against mine and my body was quick to respond. "Make me feel better, Dr Cullen".
"I'm working on it". My hands and my mouth were suddenly busy, and somehow – without either of us noticing – the afternoon slipped into evening, followed by a moonless night and a breaking dawn.