WARNING- THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M! And it will be the only one, everything else from no onwards will be T :D So don't say I didn't warn you!
Chapter 11
Miley POC
It was one huge mistake, I never should have listened to a word from my friends and attended that stupid award show last night. They thought they could fix me. They couldn't and this life, well I hated it.
Last night had become another "Miley scandal", the kind of story that headlined gossip magazines and came up on every trashy website I looked at. I hated myself…I absolutely hated myself, and I was seriously considering killing myself right now. I stared at the one magazine in front of me cringing at the words...
Nick cheating on long term girlfriend, with old flame?
After last nights interview, Nick and I looked suspicious seeing we had been asked the same question but had different answers. So the media assumed the worst, that we had a hidden relationship going on and now everyone was going to hate me forever. Yeah sure everyone else was telling me it was fine and the media were just poking at things that weren't true, but hell it looked bad…even to me.
"Mommy…I want some of that" Miah demanded while playing with one of her dolls staring at the glass in my hand I looked at her and shook my head,
"No Miah this is adult drink…not for you" I stated and she looked at me angry standing up throwing her doll on the ground, I didn't have time for this right I had to get ready for tonight!
"I want some of that now" She demanded,
I walked around the kitchen staring at the magazines and newspaper on the kitchen table…all of them had the same thing. I was a backstabbing whore and Nick was the cheating bastard, while Selena was the poor defenseless angel who had done nothing wrong.
"No Miah okay…this is not for you" I yelled at her, I'd already drunk a bottle and it was only 11am, I knew Noah and Trace were coming around soon and I was no where near ready.
"I want some now" She screamed stomping her foot down on the ground,
I grabbed her arm annoyed pointing upstairs as she looked at me her forehead creased ready to attack. "You go to your room now missy you don't talk to me like that!" I yelled back at her as she pulled her arm away from me and put her hands on her hips.
"I want daddy" She yelled at me tapping her foot,
I stared at Miah annoyed…why did she just have to keep bringing him up? Why? I didn't understand did she hate me or something?
"Daddy's dead! Don't you fucking get that Miah" I screamed at her, she took a step away from me tears coming to her eyes as she shook her head.
"I Hate you…I hate you so much" She screamed and then ran past me to the staircase,
I stood up taking a deep breath feeling tears coming to my eyes. I grabbed the glass off the bench and pressed it to my lips sculling the whole thing down in seconds…everyone hated me, why was I even trying.
I leaned on the table opening another bottle and pouring a glass gazing down at the magazines. They made out that I had gotten over Liam too fast that I was already moving onto Nick and Selena was hating me…part of it was true but right now I didn't care about Nick. It made me sound like the devil, like I was a whore who didn't even mourn my husband. My phone had been ringing all morning and most of the calls were from my ex family back in Australia…I didn't answer them though I couldn't…I didn't want to hear the words they said to me.
I put the glass to my lips again taking another mouthful gazing at the food I'd already prepared for tonight, I still had to make a cake and put all the hot food on for Brandi's engagement party. I felt my hand shaking as I put the glass down letting a tear fall down my cheek…everything was falling apart. My phone vibrated and I pulled it out of my pocket gazing to see Brandi on the screen…I nodded I had to answer this.
"Hey Brandi…" I said carefully painfully hiding the feelings with in, as she gave a sigh on the other line.
If she even thought about lecturing me right now that was it…I didn't want to be here anymore, I wanted to be with him.
"Miles…mom has been ringing me all morning so has Nick, Mandy, Taylor…Demi everyone…why aren't you answering your phone?" She asked simply as I took another mouthful of my cure.
"I just don't want to right now okay…" I stated harshly putting the glass down and heading to the fridge as Brandi gave a sigh on the other line "Miley I'm going to come over okay…" Brandi stated and I froze holding the fridge door open with my leg shaking my head…she couldn't come over here! Not now!
"No Brandi you can't…I don't want you here" I stated seriously and she gave another sigh, as I grabbed some eggs out of the fridge putting them on the bench.
"Miley…I think I should…You don't sound to good" She stated,
I felt a sudden embarrassment, could she really tell just from a phone call how I was feeling? I bit my lip grabbing the milk. "Brandi I don't want you here…I don't want you to come over okay! I am fine just leave me the fuck alone" I stated and realized how nasty it had sounded Brandi was just deadly silence…I never swore and now I had twice in five minutes.
"Just leave me alone…pass it on" I stated and closed my phone throwing it on the bench going back to making the cake,
I started slowly mixing the ingredients together thinking's about everything. I suddenly stopped, and stared at the cake mix. All of a sudden I found myself crying about everything. My husband was dead, I'd ruined my best friends bridal party, I'd been a bitch to everyone and most of all I was drunk and swore at my own daughter. I smacked both my hands down on the bench leaning down crying…everything was just so screwed up.
"Mommy…why you crying?" I heard Miah whisper behind me,
I turned to see her standing there her little arms wrapped around the teddy bear Liam gave her as I just broke down sobbing, I couldn't do this without him.
I walked past Miah and took the steps two at a time reaching the top and rushing into the bathroom slamming the door flicking the lock across. I took a deep breath of relief and went to the sink opening the mirror cupboard and grabbed the razor. I leaned against the wall closing my eyes and let myself slide down the wall, I eventually controlled my sobs and looked down…it would just numb the pain for a bit longer. I pressed it against my wrist the previous mark almost faded and slowly cut a deep line across my wrist watching as the crimson liquid began to seep from my self inflicted wound. I deserved to be in pain so I pressed harder feeling the freedom I wanted and the gap between Liam and me become closer. I rested my hand on the floor and moved onto my other wrist replicating the same mark again and then closing my eyes.
"Miley…Miley…" Trace screamed downstairs,
I felt so dizzy right now I just wanted to lay here for a while longer and feel the pain. But I knew in a matter of moments they'd be here.
"Miley…where are you?" Braison yelled, he had come as well…great, I pushed open my eyes looking at the blood on the floor and covering my wrists. I moved over turning the bath tap on and closed my eyes.
"Miley open this door now" I heard Noah yell determined banging her fist on the bathroom door, I just sat there and stared at it taking a breath I took the towel and pressed it against my hand…
I'd finish this later.
Nick POV
"I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR HER!" Selena screamed at me as I stood at the door fixing my shirt up,
There was no way in hell I wasn't going tonight…this was Brandi and Sam's engagement party.
"Selena she is not trying to steal me okay! She's upset, seriously calm down. I cant believe you refused Demi's apology…until you sort this out I think we should have some time apart" I stated seriously looking at her, she looked so pissed off…how could she possible think that Miley was trying to take me away from her?
"Fine okay fine, go tonight…but if I hear you touched her in any way this is all over Nick all of it. And I'm not making up with Demi…" She stated with a huff walking away I rolled my eyes, I loved her but god was she being a pain lately.
"Bye Sel…I love you" I yelled only to hear her scoff in reply,
I sighed opening my front door and walking out…and to think I was planning on asking her to marry me. I was torn, I mean Miles was my best friend so was Demi but I loved Sel and I was not getting involved in this battle over nothing at all. I jumped in my Maserati slamming the door closed, and turned the car on thinking about the days events. It was all over the news that Miley and me were going out again, only three months after the death of her husband. Of course I knew that was no where near true, but everyone had been so quick to believe it…I knew Miley would be in a bad place at the moment. I'd tried ringing but there had been no answer so I was going tonight without Sel.
It took me minutes to arrive outside her house only to find a huge amount of paparazzi outside, I'm sure the surprise for Brandi and Sam was going to be anything but. I jumped out as the paparazzi saw me and instantly rushed over, I heard there voices but I ignored the questions hearing the word Miley mentioned so many times. I got inside the gate and walked up to the door knocking on it…
"Nick…you're here…" Demi stated answering the door a surprised look across her face,
I stood awkwardly as she moved a side to let me in as I gazed to see about thirty people were here. "Sorry we just weren't expecting you after everything…" Demi muttered as I smiled at her and she gave me a relieved look and I pulled her into a hug.
"Miles isn't good Nick…she is really drunk, she swore at Miah this morning and then Brandi on the phone. We've been trying to hide her from everyone but it's only a matter of time before everyone realizes how drunk she is" Demi whispered to me as I let go of her worried…she was drinking again.
"Okay I'll deal with Miley, is Miah okay?" I asked,
Demi shrugged pointing to see Miah sitting on Billy's lap laughing…she looked good enough. I smiled at Demi, it was twenty minutes till Brandi and Sam were supposed to turn up.
"Nick man how you doing?" Trace questioned, offering me his hand as I took it and gave a shrug,
I wasn't really doing great today but I wasn't going to tell him that.
"Want to come help in the kitchen…" He stated seriously,
I looked confused as he just stared at me and I nodded, Demi patted my arm walking off towards Joe who gave me a wave hanging up decorations with Braison.
"When we arrived she was in the bathroom. We have no idea what she was doing but she was in there for half and hour, when Miles got out she was totally hammered and since then we haven't been able to get the alcohol away from her" He explained as I nodded and he opened the door and I walked in to see Dani, Kevin, Taylor and Mandy all sitting around the kitchen table preparing food.
"Nick you're here? Where's slut…I mean Se…lena" I heard a very slurred voice say,
I turned gazing at Miley leaning on the wall on a chair a glass of champagne in her hands.
"Oh she's good Miles…I see you're enjoying yourself!" I stated seriously,
Everyone just stared at me raising their eyebrows going back to cooking and preparing, as I walked over to Miley pulling a chair up.
"Yes…Yes…I am! Guess what?" She stated,
I had to smile she was such a happy drunk, she was absolutely glowing at the moment it was the happiest I'd seen her since she arrived back here.
"What Miley?" I asked and she started laughing rolling her eyes, and then abruptly stopped and gazed at a candle sitting on the table and grinned moving her hand over to it.
"Pretty…it's pretty Mandy…look pretty…hmmm…pretty" She stated as I saw Mandy give her a nod and hit her hand as she moved it away from the candle. Her attention came back to me as she smiled "In Aboriginal Niley means shell…isn't that funny! Liam told me…he's so funny well he was but he died and that wasn't funny…it was sad." She stated I just stared at her…okay then…the door suddenly flew open.
"Brandi and Sam are here early" Noah yelled at us,
Instantly it became chaotic…I looked at Miley who seemed unfazed gazing at the candle smiling, like it was the best thing she'd ever seen.
"You watch her…we need to keep the fact she's drunk out of the press and if that means locking her in the kitchen all night then so be it" Braison stated walking in pointing at me as I just nodded.
"Ohh party time?" Miley asked standing up,
I carefully tried to take the glass away from her and she shot me a look sculling the whole thing…god what were we going to do with her?
"Come on. Just watch her Nick, this is Brandi and Sam's night she can't ruin it for them!" Mandy stated pleadingly as I nodded, they all rushed out leaving Miley and me the only ones in the kitchen.
"You smell nice, do you remember when we used to make out on your bed?" She asked a grin coming to her face,
I sighed she was so broken it was unbelievable as soon as we fixed one bit something else just shattered it again. "Yeah Miley I do…I remember…that was when everything was perfect" I whispered and she nodded leaning her head on my shoulder…all I could think was the obvious…she needed help professional help.
"Surprise" I heard a huge amount of people scream from the room next door,
Everyone started clapping and Miley joined in smiling, I slowly wrapped my arm around her as she gazed at me.
"I miss him Nick…I miss him so much, you think he misses me?" She whispered,
"Of course he does Miley"
"Did you miss me? I missed you so much...I always miss you the most." She whispered a look of worry coming across my face as I nodded brushing the hair out of her face as the music started.
"Yeah Miley, I missed you a lot." I whispered,
A lot more then she'd ever realize.
She nodded moving over to the champagne grabbing the bottle as I shot her a look and she ignored me and poured another glass. The door suddenly opened and Mandy with Taylor walked in.
"Surprise" Miley yelled holding the glass up as they both smiled at her,
They grabbed some of the plates of food and giving me an appreciative smile, I guess I wasn't going to be seeing much of the party tonight.
Soon an hour had passed, Miley and me were still sitting in the same spot and she had only managed to down another two glasses. Everyone was frequently coming in and out telling me how everything was going and that Brandi had realized Miley wasn't here and had begun to look for her. I watched as my ex girlfriend play with my fingers a smile across her face, she was happy at the moment and right now no one was willing to take that away from her. I suddenly heard a bang which could only mean one thing...
"Where the hell is she? Just tell me! She's my little sister, where is she?" I heard Brandi yell from the corridor next door, Miley's head instantly sprung up giving a huge grin. "Brandi don't go in there! Please you don't want to see her…" Noah yelled as the door opened from the side and Brandi gazed at me as I gave her a weak smile and Miley was literally up.
"Surprise" Miley yelled a dumb grin across her face,
Brandi stood for a moment looking at her sister before giving a sigh and walking over as Miley started laughing holding the glass up.
"What are we going to do with you Miley hey? What are we going to do?" Brandi whispered pulling her into a hug as Miley hugged her back like a child, I sighed shaking my head while I saw the ten people who knew Miley was drunk at the door.
"Speech speech" I heard someone yell outside,
Miley instantly pushed Brandi away and before anyone could lunge for her she was out the door to the main room. We all exchanged looks of panic, if she talked to anyone everyone would know by tomorrow.
"I want to make a speech" Miley yelled as we instantly all rushed out the door, I saw a look of confusion on everyone's face as Joe stood with the microphone and looked at Miley skeptically.
"Joseph please…" Miley stated calmly,
Okay she hadn't said anything stupid yet…Brandi gave Joe a nod as he raised his eyebrows handing her the microphone as she smiled.
"Hey everyone, right I love Brandi and Sam they are just meant to be together. I remember the day that Brandi met Sam and I tell you, I have never seen my sister so excited!" Miley stated as everyone was smiling, while all of her family minus all the parents looked at her terrified. "Sam is one of the luckiest guys in the world and Brandi you are the most kind person I have ever met and together you are going to be the most amazing husband and wife." She stated as everyone nodded in agreement, while I saw Joe inching closer to her trying to wrap it up.
"I wish you both the best for the wedding and hopefully you will have a long happy life and hey let's hope your marriage is more successful then mine right…Sam don't join the army it ruins life's…Just like mine. Should have married Nick, but oh well!" She stated and like that instantly everyone just stared at her in shock…there was just deadly silence as she held up her glass.
"To Brandi and Sam may your life be long!" She stated with a dumb grin,
Everyone raised their glass but no one said a thing, Miley handed the microphone back to Joe who gave an awkward laugh.
"Ergh…thanks Miley…for that ergh speech, okay who wants cake?" Joe asked as I walked over with Brandi,
Neither of us said a word as we both grabbed each of Miley's arms dragging her towards the stairs…it was bedtime. "Wait where are we going I want cake!" Miley demanded as we both dragged her up the staircase towards her room, I exchanged a look with Brandi she just looked devastated…not because Miley had ruined her engagement party but because this wasn't the Miley we knew.
"I want cake" Miley demanded pulling away from me and turning half around,
I grabbed her wrist and instantly she yelped in pain and I instantly released seeing the agony in her features…
"Oh god I am sorry are you okay let me…" I stated pulling her wrist up and gazed confused,
I looked at the bracelets and slowly pulled them off finding a bandage around her wrist.
"Oh god…oh god…" Brandi whispered scared,
I slowly undid it and felt my stomach churn seeing the deep cut across her wrist, Miley instantly started laughing and we both exchanged looks.
"I want to die right now…you have no idea!" She stated as Brandi started crying,
I bit my lip watching the blank expression on Miley's face gazing to see another bandage around her other wrist…we needed to do something and soon.
A/N- Sorry I didn't update yesterday I was sick, and still am :P Thanks for the reviews :D