This is AU, Zukaang. Ways in which it is AU: 1) There is no Avatar. Aang is just an airbender. 2) There is no Sozin's Comet. 3) This is AU in other ways, but those will mostly reveal themselves as the story goes on.

So, I think this chapter is what a lot of you have been waiting for. I do, however, want to highlight the point that this is my very first slash fic. I've never written this kind of story before. I'm actually rather nervous about this chapter. I really struggled with it.

Hopefully you'll still find it enjoyable, despite my struggles x_x

Enjoy Chapter 11!

Aang stared into the darkness. The only source of light was the moon, and even it barely broke through the thick canopy of trees. Still, the small slivers of light were enough to concentrate on. Anything to distract Aang from his turbulent thoughts.

Zuko was on his back, sleeping peacefully beside him. It was to be expected, since they spent nearly two days running non-stop in an effort to separate themselves from the incident in the village. No doubt Azula would hear about the firebender and his airbending companion and catch onto their trail, so they had to be extra careful. However, Aang wasn't too concerned. He was confident in Zuko's ability to cover up their tracks.

Aang couldn't get his mind off of the villagers. Their anger toward Zuko just because he was a firebender. Zuko fought on their behalf and they still had this unconditional hatred. Aang could only imagine what they would have done to them had they known that he was actually the son of the Firelord.

Though, Aang supposed that this was just the result of a hundred years of war. Who knows how Aang would have felt about firebenders had he been more aware of what the Fire Nation had done to the world.

But Zuko... Zuko may be a firebender... He may be the son of the Firelord... but he was a good person. He was the kindest person Aang had met since waking up from the ice. Certainly more than the other Fire Nation citizens, and definitely more than the Water Tribe merchants. The first thing those waterbenders did when they found him was kill Appa...

Aang closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his knees, shoulders shaking as his memories overtook him. The smell of blood suddenly thick in the air, anger and grief gripping his chest in an iron grip. He wanted to disappear, shrink from existence. When those merchants killed his only friend, Aang wanted nothing more than to join him. That desire hadn't changed until he met Zuko. So to Aang, it didn't matter what nation someone was from. There were good and evil people from every nation.

When Zuko had apologized for his suffering, something he had nothing to do with, the world had come back to colour for the first time in years. Zuko brought him back to life. The more time Aang spent with him, the more he became aware the world and less aware of his own pain and suffering. That in of itself was something so profound to Aang that he didn't think he'd ever be able to thank the firebender.

But then Zuko took it further. He ran away from his luxurious life of princehood and saved Aang. Zuko sacrificed everything. He said that he was doing it for the sake of his nation, which only further demonstrated his selflessness. Because of this, Aang was determined to prove himself useful. Zuko was putting everything into trying to make the world better, from saving an airbending prisoner to wanting to overthrow his cruel dictator of a father for the Fire Nation. Given everything Zuko was doing, Aang wanted to make sure that Zuko's sacrifices weren't in vain.

He turned to look at Zuko. His face was relaxed, peaceful. The little spots of tension that normally marred his expression were gone. Aang loved looking at the firebender as he slept. It was common for Aang to wake up in the middle of the night, usually from a nightmare. Often, Zuko would also wake and easily soothe him back to sleep. But sometimes, Aang would wake up peacefully enough that he didn't disturb Zuko. While the airbender loved being cared for by Zuko, he was also grateful for the times that Zuko didn't wake.

Aang scooted closer to Zuko, eyes glued to the firebender's face. For a moment, he didn't move, just taking in every detail he could take in through the darkness. Then, he leaned forward and just barely touched the unmarred side of Zuko's face with the tip of his fingers. Zuko twitched, but didn't wake.

Aang was selfish. And his reason for enjoying Zuko's deep slumber was selfish. Aang had discovered that Zuko was a deep enough sleeper that he could freely express his perverted affection in a way he would never be able to if Zuko was awake. Sure, he was plenty affectionate during the day, but it wasn't the same. That was the affection of a child to their protector. This was different. This was the affection of a man in love.

It wasn't too long after they arrived in the Earth Kingdom that Aang realized that his feelings were more than just those of gratitude. Even more than those of friendship. There was nothing Aang wanted more than to be with Zuko. No matter where they were, or where they were going, what they were going to do... it didn't matter to him. He just wanted to be by Zuko's side.

No... it was even more than that. Aang wanted to feel Zuko's body against his. There were so many times that Aang just wanted to press his mouth against Zuko's, explore his body... Let Zuko explore his, let him take control, take his body...

Aang closed his eyes and removed his hand from Zuko's face. Not only was it a hopeless love, it was an unnatural love. The monks never mentioned any types of love that were specifically wrong, but Aang had seen enough of the world to know that loving a member of the same gender was considered unnatural, even sinful. Once, while he was with the circus, they were performing in a smallish town on one of the islands towards the edge of the Fire Nation. One day, a man was brought to the town square and publicly flogged. During the spectacle, he overheard a couple of people talking. Apparently, this man had been found lying in bed with another man. From the way the couple spoke about it, it sounded like one of the most taboo things a man could do.

The last thing Aang wanted was to see the same disgust in Zuko's eyes as he had seen in the eyes of that couple. Therefore, the last thing Aang could do was express his feelings freely to him.

Aang curled up against the firebender's side, tucking his head under Zuko's chin. Zuko automatically adjusted his body to accommodate the airbender, wrapping his arm around Aang's shoulders protectively.

Aang's eyes watered. He knew he should be eternally grateful to Zuko, but he couldn't help but feel saddened that this affection will never mean more than just friendship, regardless of just how valuable that friendship was to the both of them. Face pressed against Zuko's chest, he closed his eyes and let his tears be soaked in the fabric underneath him. "I love you," he whispered, his heart slowly being torn by the prospect of never being able to truly be with Zuko. Not in the way he desperately wanted to be.

It had been two weeks since the incident with the Earthbending soldiers. Thankfully, things have been very uneventful. Zuko was using every trick in the book to cover their tracks and (hopefully) throwing Azula and her lackeys off.

In the meantime, they were wandering from village to village, earning what little money they could before moving on. A week ago, they had to abandon their ostrich horse. They were having enough trouble feeding themselves, let alone a huge animal. Zuko would have liked to have killed it and save the meat, but he knew that Aang would have balked at even the suggestion. So they sold it instead. They were actually able to get a pretty decent sum of money. Now their problem was that they were travelling at a much slower pace than Zuko was comfortable with.

It was always something.

When they could, they would practice their bending. Unfortunately, their lifestyle was wearing on their bodies and they had both lost a lot of weight. This particularly worried Zuko, since Aang hadn't really had any body mass to begin with. The airbender would mostly meditate and work on his footwork while Zuko worked on some of his firebending routines. He also found himself joining Aang in meditating, finding that it calmed him. This is when he would work on proper breath control, like his uncle had taught him.

They were currently sitting in the middle of some dense forest, within a stone's throw of a stream. The running water was soothing background noise, excellent for meditation. Though Zuko would have personally preferred the silence. He found most background noises to be more distracting than anything else.

But Aang seemed to be able to find peace with their currently surroundings, so Zuko didn't complain. Aang deserved every little micron of peace he could find. He had been particularly emotionally tumultuous in the last two weeks. He was trying to hide it, but Zuko could tell. Aang was upset. Very upset.

It wasn't like before. Out of all of the emotional states Aang had been in before, upset wasn't one of them. Scared and nervous definitely. But he was also curious and infinitely forgiving. Even outgoing to some degree.

However, at the village Aang had become angry. Angry at the villagers for their automatic hatred of Zuko (which Zuko didn't really blame them for). It was a shock to Zuko, to say the least. The only other time he had ever seen Aang that angry was when he was remembering the death of his sky bison.

In the following days, Aang had become sullen and agitated. While before, he was fairly open with his emotions, he refused to tell Zuko why he was so upset. He claimed it was nothing, that he was fine. After a few days, the underlying anger in his demeanor went away, leaving behind some kind of permanent state of... sadness? Maybe. Maybe... regret?

No. Resignation.

Zuko opened his eyes to look at his meditating partner. What was he resigned about? The fact that Zuko would be hated just because he was a firebender? That hardly seemed reason enough to explain the dark fog Aang was currently in. But he couldn't think of anything else. What possible other reason could Aang have for being resigned? Resigned to the point of such a depression?

"Zuko?"

Zuko blinked to find that Aang was looking at him. In his musings, he didn't realize that he had been staring (probably creepily) at Aang. "Sorry," he mumbled, returning to a proper lotus position.

"Are you okay...?" Aang asked hesitantly.

"I'm fine," Zuko replied, vainly hoping that his subtle emphasis would spur Aang to open up.

Not surprisingly, the subtlety was lost on the airbender. "Are you sure? You seem... I don't know, troubled?"

Zuko couldn't help it; he laughed. The irony of Aang asking him if he was troubled was just too absurd to not laugh at. Of course, Aang seemed to interpret his laugh as something more concerning, his expression of confusion turning into one of concern. "Zuko?"

"I'm fine" Zuko said, his laughing tempering out. "Really. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh." Their meditation clearly having come to an end, he uncrossed his legs and took a more comfortable sitting posture. He met Aang's worried gaze and smiled. "I'm okay, Aang."

Aang turned to fully face Zuko, taking a more relaxed lotus-like posture. "Good. I glad you're okay."

And there it was. That resignation. It was practically oozing from Aang's posture, his voice, his expression. Seeing it now, after so much thought, Zuko suddenly recognized precisely what Aang was missing. What Aang seemed to have lost over the last two weeks. His spark. That small spark that Zuko saw back in the palace, that spurred Zuko into drastic action in order to preserve it. It was gone.

"Aang..." Zuko scooted so he was sitting beside the airbender. Wrapping an arm around Aang's shoulders, Zuko pulled him close. "You know you can tell me anything," he whispered. He could feel Aang trembling against his side. Almost immediately, Aang shook his head, body minutely curling into itself. Zuko's eyes burned at Aang's reaction, but managed to hold back his tears. "Oh, Aang..." Zuko caressed Aang's face, wiping the tears he knew would be there. "Please... I want you to talk to me. I know something's wrong, you can't hide that from me. Please, Aang. I hate seeing you suffer like this."

Aang let out a small sob, eyes squeezed shut. "I'm sorry..." he whimpered softly, more sobs following his apology.

Zuko's chest constricted painfully. "Agni..." He pressed his mouth against Aang's hair. "You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me. Nothing."

He wasn't sure if Aang didn't hear him or if he was just too distraught. He continued to sob into Zuko's shoulder, clinging to his tunic like lifeline. Finally, Aang shook his head as his sobs started to die down. "Y-you don't... u-understand..." he mumbled out between hiccups.

"Then tell me... make me understand."

There was silence, save for Aang's stuttered breaths and occasional hiccup. Zuko waited, praying to the spirits that Aang would finally open up to him. Finally give Zuko a way to try and help him.

Unfortunately, Aang started to tremble again, his head shaking. "I can't... I'm sorry, I can't... I don't want to lose you."

"Aang," Zuko said sternly. He pulled Aang out of their embrace just enough so he could place his hands on either side of Aang's head and force their eyes to meet. "You are not going to lose me. There is nothing you can do that's going to get rid of me."

But Aang continued to shake his head, fresh tears falling down his face. "I can't..." he whimpered. "I j-just can't..."

Zuko closed his eyes, feeling his own tears threatening to fall. Gently cradling Aang's head, Zuko pressed his forehead against his, wishing there was more he could do. Anything that would help ease the pain from this tortured soul in front of him.

Then, without thinking, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Aang's, desperate to somehow ease his pain. When he registered the feel of Aang's trembling lips against his, he opened his eyes to find the airbender's eyes wide with surprise.

With a small gasp, Zuko jerked back and released his grasp on Aang's head. "I-I'm so sorry!" he managed to stutter out. He pressed his hand against his mouth, already missing the feeling of the airbender's warm lips against his. Then a wave of intense guilt hit him, his subconscious berating him for the fact that he enjoyed taking advantage of his dearest friend. "I d-don't know what came over me...!"

Aang sat back, his face red and swollen from his previous sobbing. Eyes still wide, he looked as though he was in a daze... or some form of state of shock. Slowly, he brought his hand up and ghosted his fingertips over his lips.

Zuko's stomach twisted. He had basically molested his friend. Now he was waiting for the inevitable freak out and, ultimately, rejection on Aang's part. "I'm so sorry...I just... temporarily... lost... my mind..." he puttered on pathetically.

All of a sudden, Aang leaned forward and pulled Zuko's hand away from his face. He cupped his hands on either side of Zuko's neck and returned the kiss with unexpected vigour.

For a moment, Zuko didn't move, not able to process what was happening. However, after that very brief moment, his brain was able to understand the feel of the warm breath on his face and the near-desperate grip on his neck. Closing his eyes, he let instinct take over.

Zuko carded a hand through Aang's hair, enjoying the feel of it between his fingers. Placing his other hand on the back of Aang's head, he leaned forward, letting out a small moan as the airbender hesitantly suckled on his lower lip. Desperate for more, he gently licked Aang's soft lips, asking for permission to go further. Aang opened his mouth with a small whimper, allowing Zuko access. Only too eager to accept the invitation, Zuko leaned in for a deeper kiss as his tongue explored the wet confines of Aang's mouth.

It was at this point that Zuko's ability to actually think kicked, making him freeze. Still trying to comprehend what was going on, he slowly leaned out of the kiss. "Aang?" he whispered.

Aang whimpered when Zuko broke the kiss, eyes opening at half mast. It seemed to take him a moment to gather his bearings, his expression of pleasure slowly transforming into one of worried panic.

Continuing to card his fingers through Aang's hair in hopes of keeping him calm, Zuko tried to ignore the fact that Aang's face was mere inches from his as he tried to make sense of what just happened. "Aang, are you... okay?"

Aang frowned a little at the question. "I'm fine..." he said slowly, eyes searching Zuko's face. "Are you?"

"Okay?" When Aang nodded, Zuko let out a small, breathy laugh. "Yeah... In fact, I think I'm better than okay."

Aang still looked confused, his eyes drifting downward to where his hands were fiddling with the collar of Zuko's tunic. "You don't think this is... unnatural?"

Still smiling, Zuko shook his head a little. "I'm not sure what you mean."

After some more unnecessary fiddling, Aang sighed and looked back up. "Men aren't supposed to be with men. People seem to think that it's... just wrong."

Zuko, just stared at him for a moment, not knowing quite how to respond. Some of the communities that lived on the outer islands of the Fire Nation tended to abide by the more ancient belief systems of Agni's will, some of which dictated that Agni only approved of unions in which children could be produced. But in general, Zuko wasn't aware of many people who particularly cared who you choose to be your partner (unless it was an issue of nobility or succession).

Adjusting his position and pulling Aang's body closer, Zuko spoke with a voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't care less whether or not you're a man. You make me happy. Happier than I've ever been." He hesitated to actually voice the extent of his affection, but decided that Aang deserved to hear it. "I love you, Aang. And I'd do anything for you.'

Aang started to softly sob, leaning his head into Zuko's shoulder. And between halting breathes, he managed to mutter, "I love you. I love you so much..."

Zuko held Aang close, burying his face in the airbender's hair. His own vision started to blur as tears started to fall down his face, but he didn't bother trying to hide them. He was happy. For what felt like the first time in his whole life... he was at peace.

This chapter was mostly fluff. The fluff will be coming in and out from here on in. A bit more actual plot next chapter :P

Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review with any comments or criticisms! :)