"How'd the talk with Lilly go?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow and smirking at Dean's wet hair. "She beat you up so bad you needed a shower?"
"What? Nah... I jus' needed some 'me time'." Dean winks before quickly changing the subject. "I made m'self clear an' I promised we'd help'er break the curse. Hell, she might even let us." Dean smugly responds as he leans a hip against the counter and downs a beer.
Sam looks at him for a moment in disbelief, "That's it? You just 'made yourself clear' and she's on board? This is Lilly we're talking about, right?"
"Geez, drop it Sammy. Mae an' I worked it out an' I talked ta Lilly. I told her ta take better care'a herself and we'd work on figurin' out why people wanna beat'er ass. Okay? Can we move on already?" Dean glares at him a moment longer then turns back to grab another beer.
"Oh? I thought Dad said not to mess with that."
"He did." Is Dean's short reply.
"But, Dad said not to. He must've had a reason." Sam attempts to point out, shaking his head at the irony of the role reversal.
"It's not messin' with her. It's helping. There's a difference. I mean, she can't do anything by herself. Dad had a mission an' we do too. But.. The minute we track down that yellow eyed sonovabitch an' gank his ass, we're fixing this. I'm fixin' it, with r'without you."
"Oh. Alright then, I'm in too. But, we do it safely. And Lilly has to a agree." Sam says, attempting to lay down some rules.
"I don't really give a shit f'she agrees r'not, this is damn annoyin'." Dean grunts.
"But Mae will care." Sam points out.
"I think Mae'll care more if we do nothin' and Lilly ends up dead over something as stupid as going to the grocery store by herself." Dean deadpans as he drags his hand through his hair. "I dunno how she's survived this long. Damn it Sammy, if she hadn't passed out I woulda done serious damage. An' just how th'fuck does Mae cancel it?"
"How should I know, Dean? Maybe they nullify each other's 'freaky' or somethin'?" Sam says, musing over his own thoughts.
"What?" Dean asks, confused. "What's wrong with Mae?"
"Huh? Oh. Well, yeah... Bobby said something before about the two of them being cursed or maybe someone put a spell on the two of them. You never feel different around Mae when it's just the two of you?"
"Why ain't no one we meet normal? Near Mae? I feel bad she has to constantly be with Lilly, that would drive any sane person fuck'n nuts. I feel protective'a Mae, kinda view her as a little sister. Why? Does she make you feel somethin' when it's just the two'a ya?"
"Me? Umm, well... She makes me calmer. I uh, I don't feel as sad about Jess. I feel protective of her too. I uh, find her attractive."
Dean smirks knowingly at his little brother. "Oh yeah? You liking her? S'dfinitely a curse."
Sam shakes his head, feeling incredibly exasperated with his older brother and makes a disapproving face. "Really Dean? Would you please take this seriously?"
"Aw, worried about yer crush? That's so cute. A'course I'm taking this seriously. Sammy likes a girl. Wanna hear 'bout the birds an' bees?" Dean teases with a smirk.
"Dean, c'mon. I'll skip Porn:101. Thanks.. So, I wonder if Bobby has ever been alone with her and noticed feeling different?" Sam pauses for a moment, his brow furrowed. "It's weird that she affects us positively and Lilly affects us negatively."
"Ya know Lilly said she could be alone with Mae's mom. Do ya think Bobby remembers 'em together? I don't really feel like askin' the girls 'bout it..." Dean asks as he gives up teasing Sam.
"I think we have a lot of questions for Bobby. We can work on that later. The girls are coming over sometime today to cook for us before we leave." Sam says, giving up on the book he'd been reading.
"Shocking- us having more questions for Bobby. Oh yeah? I hope they bring pie." Dean says and finishes off his beer.
"That's been the trend so far." Sam smiles.
Lilly has a complete conniption fit as she drops the groceries for the night at her feet feeling the need to cry at the sight in front of her.
"What? FuckShitDamnClusterFuck! Why? How did this? Why? It's only been a week! A fucking week! Disguting cunts! How did this even happen?" She demands with a high pitched shriek of disgust as she takes in Bobby's kitchen, and the horrific condition of it. She stops yelling when Mae walks into her.
"Lilly you okay?" Mae asks, concerned for Lilly's mental state when she sees the room from her sister's clean-freak point of view. 'Devastation' has lain waste to Bobby's kitchen. There are 3 half- eaten plates of food (night as well be 20), bottles as far as the eye can see, dishes balanced precariously high in the sink (so, really 3 pans), stains of God-only-knows-where origins splattered everywhere (one stain on the counter), and not to mention the suspiciously sticky floor (ketchup splatter). Mae tries to sound lighthearted. "Holy beer bottles."
"Holy beer bottles? Holy Beer Bottles?! No Mae. This is... No. Satan was here. He lives in this kitchen. This is what my nightmares are made of. What the fuck did they do? For fuck's sake Mae! I think that's some kind of blood." She points at the ketchup. "What a fuckin' clusterfuck! Fuck!" Lilly rants before breaking off to let out a slew of curses in several different languages, not finding English expressive enough to cover her current outrage.
"Oh Gods! That's mold growing on the plates. How did they get mold in seven days Mae? Seven fucking days? How did they even manage that? How? Oh Gods it needs to be cleansed! Where's the gas? We'll burn it down. We'll build a new kitchen. Oh Gods, burn it! We're just gonna have to burn it down. Just, how? I don't.. I can't.. How, Mae? How?! Hoooow!?" Lilly cries out hysterically, as her hands pull at her hair.
Mae shakes her head, torn between amusement and fear. She couldn't possibly answer the questions being rapid-fired at her. "When did you get a harpy-mode?"
Lilly's eyes turn to slits as she turns her anger on her sister. "How. Did. This. Happen?" She bites out each word in a growl a wolverine would envy.
"Whoa! Wait! I don't know! I didn't do it; I was with you!" Mae cries out, taking several steps back; She drops her grocery bags and holds both hands in front of her defensively.
Neither woman noticed the loud, rushed footsteps as the three men of the house race to the distressed yells of Lily's cries of anguish.
"Lilly!? Mae!? What's wrong?" Dean bolts into the kitchen, eyes on the girls. His footsteps causing Lilly's eye to twitch as they make a disturbing squelch on the once-clean tile.
"What's wrong? What's wrong! What the fuck do you mean what's wrong? How did you three manage this? For fuck's sake you are literally sticking to the floor Dean! Oh Gods you're sticking to the floor! Why are you sticking to the floor? What is wrong with you? How dare you live like this? I don't… just why?" Lilly responds at a complete loss at to where she should even start, her lip trembling as her voice raises several octaves as she rants.
"Translation, please Mae?" Dean looks over to the younger woman in the hopes that she can understand 'shrill'.
"Something along the lines of 'This place, this place, cleanse it with fire, exercise the devil. How can you live with sticking to the floor and growing a science project in the sink?' She may be in shock." Mae responds, only the barest hint of teasing in her monotone voice, her hands still held in front of her.
At this point the other two males arrive as well. "Is everyone okay?" Sam asks, concerned as his eyes land on the girls.
"Gidjits, wasn't expecting you two for another hour or so… We were just about to clean the kitchen."
"An hour? An hour? You were going to clean this in an hour? How? Do you have a fucking magic wand? I need a fucking hazmat suit, a five gallon bucket of bleach, several boxes of trash bags, a galleon of anti-bacterial hand wash and some Gods damn five star mold removal. How did you monsters even manage this? How? I think this goes against the natural order." Lilly spews out, confused and at a complete loss.
Sam looks around at the mess and hangs his head. Dean continues to stare at Mae as if waiting for further translation. Bobby just shakes his head.
"It's, it's ok Lilly. Maybe we can go back to our house for dinner and come back and clean later." Mae begins, ready to spout out as many solutions she could think up.
"Or not come back an' clean, ya know, whatever…" Bobby mumbles under his breath.
"I can't just leave… Oh Gods I dropped the bags. Fuck. We need to go buy more food…" Lilly responds forlornly. She shoots a nasty glare at Bobby's mutinous statement, choosing to not dignify it with a reply.
"Lilly, I'll take the stuff outside and wash the bags off. We can cook at our house and bring it back." Mae offers, grabbing everything they brought in and sprinting for the door.
"No they need to be burned. Everything in this house needs to be burned…" Lilly solemnly responds.
Dean sighs. "Does everything need to be a category-five with you?"
"Go. Fuck. Yourself." Lilly spits out as she rubs at her temples; her irritation palpable.
Seeing that Lilly was about to throttle Dean, Sam steps in. "Lilly, what can we do? How can we help?"
"Trash first. You three… help or … you know what? Just leave." Lilly responds pushing the three men out the door.
"Girl, this's my house." Bobby snaps at the girl pushing him out of his own kitchen.
"Then learn to take better care of her old man, but for now get the fuck out." Lilly snarls with one last shove before stalking over to her hidden stash of cleaning products and setting out to purge the disgusting kitchen.
Lilly smiles slightly as she finishes scrubbing the floor. She sits back and looks around the freshly cleaned, highly scrubbed and polished kitchen. Something tugging at the back of her mind, leaving her with the sense of forgetting something. Huh… windows, cabinets, dishes, counters, sink, drain, appliances, doors and floors. Trash gone and fridge cleaned out. Nope, it's clean. Now I just have to cook.
"Hey Lilly?" Mae says meekly from behind the exhausted girl, after entering the kitchen. She had just dropped the 'tainted' food off at the shelter and had gone shopping again.
"Yes Mae?" Lilly looks up concerned at the tone.
"I kind of, well, ruined all the food." Mae holds her hands behind her back, two fingers crossed. "I was doing fine and following a recipe, and this time I didn't even try to change it, but then I knocked over the spices and while I was cleaning that up, everything just, it just boiled over and burned. I'm sorry…"
Lilly frowns "Oh Mae, it's okay. You did the right thing, it should have been burned… Can you just go pick up more so I can start dinner?" She asks as she gets up wiping the non-existent dirt from her knees and washed her hands, before patting her friend on the back. "Should we just do this tomorrow it's almost nine..."
"I already went shopping, the guys are bringing the bags in now." Mae says cheerily before she drops her voice to a whisper. "Can we not tell Sam about my cooking inability?"
"Super. I wouldn't have let anyone eat food that had touched this floor anyways…" Mae's request catches up with her and a Cheshire-like grin spreads across her lips. "Oooh, what does Sam have to do with it?"
Mae just blushes in response opening her mouth to answer when the men start bringing the groceries.
"Wow Lilly, you have quite the skill. We gotta bring you on body clean-ups." Dean lets out a low whistle as he enters the sparkling kitchen.
"Ew." Lilly says her face drawing in disgust, her entire body shuddering with disgust. "Just, no ew."
"Jesus, Gidgit." Bobby glares at his kitchen and the girl responsible.
"Oh shut it Singer, you know deep down it needed to be done." Lilly defends as she blows her bangs out of her face and starts unpacking the groceries and sorting them.
"Wow great job. I can barely recognize it. Are you sure you don't want one of us to cook?" Sam responds as he drops off the last of the bags, making sure to put them securely on the table. Walking over to Mae, he leans down and whispers with a wink "It really wasn't that bad to begin with."
"Thanks Sam! This's why yer my favorite Winchester. No. I'll cook. You guys can come when I call but for now, bye." Lilly says dismissing the men.
"Mae, you stay. I need yer help. No one makes pot pie like Mae, she's an artist." She smiles at her plan as she turns her back on them. "We'll call you when it's done till then, out."
Mae turns to look at Lilly with her head tilted, her face clearly asking Lilly 'what the heck are you doing?'
Mae smiles wryly as she begins pulling out the pots and pans. "Only because Lilly taught me."
"Oh stop being so modest, She's an a-fucking-mazing cook." Lilly smiles as she shoots the three men a look. "Seriously though, we've got this. Geddout. Now."
Sam and Dean exchanged confused looks as Lilly sweetly praises Mae, but turned to leave as requested.
Bobby glared at the girls suspiciously. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but ended up just shrugging. He turned to follow the boys. Nope, not my business.
The girls silently sort dinner as they hear the men walk away, the minute Lilly feels they are a safe distance away she smiles wickedly at Mae. "So… Why do you want Sam to think you can cook? Hmm? I wonder… Are you sporting some lady-wood for Jolly Green?" She asks as she takes out a cutting board and begins the prep.
"Shhhhh! Keep your voice down. And no, shut up. Weird. Not that he's not attractive. Because he is. Attractive. And tall, and strong. And he's nice. Actually, he's really sweet. He really is a great guy to talk to. But no, that's weird. He just lost his dad. And John was a paternal figure for me, so it's actually very weird, right? And he gets really sad sometimes. Even before John. Like he had already lost someone. So, yeah." Mae looks up from washing the vegetables to see Lilly smirking. "Oh, shut up Lilly."
"Bullshit. You're smitten. I knew it. This is too delicious. I love being right..." Lilly responds as she chops the chicken up into small chunks and tosses it into the frying pan, before starting on the vegetables. She seasons the chicken in between dropping the prepared vegetables into a different pot, and starts on the crust. She goes overboard making inappropriate overtly sexual noises while she kneads the dough. "Oh Sammy! Mmm Gods! Mae." She mocks doing her best porn star impressions.
"Shut up." Mae snaps and turns a bright red.
"Oh, what's this? I was just comin' in for beers an' got a show. Nice vocals there Hufflepuff." Dean greets from the doorway; a knowing, shit-eating grin is across his face.
Both girls spin on their heels, each with a varying degree of mortification and humiliation clearly visible; Lilly's lips are still parted from the last moan and Mae double-face-palms over her bright red cheeks.
"No! Nonono, I cannot believe you right now!" Mae says from behind her hands while shaking her head slowly.
"You can't?" Lilly chokes, still staring at Dean. "Me neither." She giggles nervously.
Mae uncovers her face and begins to speak when she sees Sam.
"Hey Dean, where're those beers?" Sam asks, using the beer as an excuse to check in on the girls and the progress of dinner.
He diverts all his attention to Mae when he sees she's upset.
"Are you okay Mae, you look a bit flushed?" He asks as he looks the girl up and down, eyebrows knit together and his head tilted in concern.
"Oh I'm fine. Just, you know. It's ah-" Her blush deepens even more.
Dean saunters to the fridge and grabs a few beers while Mae gapes and sputters for an answer. "She's just working hard makin' dinner, Sammy. Let's let'em finish up. I'm starved."
Lilly gets on board with 'plan: all men gone' and says "Yeah, Out!"
Sam gives Mae one last look of confusion before he lets Dean lead him out of the kitchen.
Mae waits another full minute before she turns to Lilly again, "I... Why?..." She lands a series of light blows on her sister's shoulder. "Was. That. Necessary?"
"Yes."
"Dean heard you, dammit!" She says in mortification.
Lilly glares at her sister. "Fine, whatever. Ruin my fun…. But know this: I need you to have relationships. I live vicariously through you and, well, we both know I'll never have it… So, yeah…." She pouts as she goes back to kneading the pie dough, this time sans sex noises.
"Just keep an eye on the chicken, once it's white on one side start scooting it around the pan." She points to a spatula.
Mae shoots her friend a glare and contemplates throwing something at her before resigning to her fate and just awkwardly pushing the chicken around the pan.
"Mae and Sam-my sit-tin' in a tree, F-U-C…. Ow! Fine, Fine I get it…." Lilly smirks before she starts humming the rest of the childish rhyme.
They continue cooking but not much is said between the two of them, besides instructions and insinuations from Lilly. When the food is done and the table is set the men all but rush into the kitchen, the smell having been driving them crazy for the last hour or so.
At the men's response to food the girls laugh as they all sit down for the first time and have dinner together. Teasing, blushing and awkwardness ensues; but everyone, even Bobby, is smiling and happy as they share their meal. Especially when the guys found out that apple pie was the dessert.
"Really Bobby, a van?… That's our only option?" Dean stares at the 'car' in disgust as Sam slides into the driver's seat. "I mean, come on man, that's soccer mom transportation."
"You can bum my bike. I'd love ta see one'a ya ride bitch behind th'other… As if you two don't give off a gay enough vibe… Or add Mae an' make a sandwich." Lilly smirks from her spot on the porch.
Mae snaps her head to the side to glare at her friend; a new blush spreading across her cheeks. "Lilly!"
Bobby snorts out laughter but quickly covers by acting like it was a cough as the brothers look like they might be sick.
"Oh c'mon, it's like they ask for it." Lilly turns from Mae to the disgruntled brothers. "An' don't be so bitchy. He's doin' yer asses a favor. Be grateful."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. You shut it wi'that shit." Dean points a warning finger at her and glares before he throws his packs into the back, slamming the sliding door shut.
"Hey, careful with that. Treat it like it's held t'gether with chewin' gum an' duct tape." Bobby yells.
"Sorry Bobby." Sam smiles sheepishly, used to apologizing for Dean's brashness.
They all stand there awkwardly, before Lilly breaks the tension. "Good luck with this Ellen chick. Try ta not kidnap an' tie her up in her home. Like vigilante douchebags."
Dean glares at her as he opens his door. "Try not ta faint from bein' an obstinate bitch."
"Hey! Fuck you too." Lilly snaps back just before he slams his door. Now fuming, she flips him off and turns back toward the house; her skirts swish around her as she stomps back inside. "Fuck men... Imma go clean somthin'."
Bobby shakes his head but takes that as his cue to leave and chases her down. "Dammit girl! Ya better not start cleanin' a'gin."
Mae just smiles as she waves sheepishly. "Please be safe. I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Thanks Mae." Sam says with a smile. He waves to her, starts the car and they take off.
She stands there waving until they drive out of sight. With a sigh, Mae turns back to the house, knowing what she's about to walk into. I wonder what room she's trying to clean now.
What she finds instead is the two of them waiting for her in the kitchen. "Wow, I thought another war was going to break out. I mean, you still want to clean, right, Lilly?" She looks them over in suspicion.
"Well, I was gonna. But then Singer was all 'what was with last night?'." Lilly smiles like a cat who had just gotten the canary.
"Yeah, Gidgit. Since when c'n you cook?" Bobby asks gruffly.
Mae's cheeks turn a bright red. She stares at them open mouthed.
"Actually. Someone doesn't want someone to know that, said particular someone can't cook, and asked a certain someone to not to tell that gem to that person that said someone couldn't do so… So, yeah."
Mae covers her face with her hands and stomps her foot, "Lilly! Oh. My. God. Shut up."
Bobby sighs as he scratches the back of his head. "Mae, those boys're nothin' but trouble. Didn't think I'd have ta tell ya that. You can do better."
Mae looks to the floor pleading with it to open up and just swallow her; because, if there was ever a time for a magical portal to open up for her, now would be perfect. Twisting her fingers together in a mixture of embarrassment and nervousness, she waits, not sure what to say or do.
"Oh, I don't know..." Mae finally begins before Lilly breaks in.
"I think it's amazing, personally. I think it's absolutely adorable that Mae has a wittle cwush on Sammy-wham-me." Lilly smirks in response, her golden eyes sparkling with mirth.
"I… I DO NOT have a crush on Sam. I just think he's a nice guy. He's just been nice, okay? That doesn't mean anything." She covers her face with her hands again, perpetually embarrassed due to her sister's mocking.
Bobby quirks an eyebrow as Lilly smugly crosses her arms across her chest and smiles.
"Oh yeah. Sure. Totally Mae, cause your continual blushes and coy demeanor don't scream you want to fuck the ever living shit out of that behemoth."
"Lilly!" Bobby snaps at the girl sitting with him at the table.
"Bobby!" She mimics his yell with indignation. "Hey! S'not my fault she wants t'bang his bone." She jumps up and makes hip thrusts that would make Garth Algar proud and recites a few of the lines from 'Foxy Lady'.
A sound somewhere between a gasp and a wail pours out from behind Mae's hands as she moves them to cover her mouth. Mortification is written all over her face as the desire to crawl into a ball and cry settles over her.
"Why are you doing this? Oh my God, why?"
"What? It's just Bobby…" Lilly responds with a knowing smirk. "Bobby doesn't care f'ya wanna fuck the kid stupid…"
The appalled man slams his hand on the table. "Bobby cares, dammit! You stop. Now. Just, please stop." Bobby begs, lost at what to do with that unfortunate mental image.
"You're the one rolling on the floor with Dean, Lilly. Maybe you're the one with a crush. He seemed to like the noises you made last night." Mae blurts out.
"What?" Bobby shouts. "Chaperones. Girls need chaperones. How da people raise girls? Damned Gidgits."
"Fuck you, Mae! One was straight-up self defense, and th'other was just to make you uncomfortable." Lilly defends with a raised brow, her eyes gleaming with a challenge.
"I don't kno-ow...You both looked like you were having fun." She fires back, ignoring the gleam in her sister's eyes.
"Well is that you volunteering to watch me fuck Dean? 'Cause short of having sex with you in the room, it that ain't happenin'. Sick Mae, sick. Bobby don't wanna know 'bout your fucked-up fetishes. Freak." Lilly responds flippantly without thinking about the full weight of her words.
Mae just stands there, mouth opening and closing. "Wha… I… But… Wait… What just happened?"
"S'too early for this shit. I need a drink…" Bobby sighs deeply and hangs his head, hand over his eyes.
The girls arrive back at their home, walking into the kitchen, each happy with how the time with the Winchester's visit had ended, for two very different reasons.
"Their visit went really well, all things considered... Don't you think?" Mae asks with a smile, as the two of them enter the kitchen.
"Yeah, it wasn't awful I guess. I mean, besides, ya know, bein' forced ta talk ta Dean, an' cleanin' Bobby's kitchen like, fifty times, an' bein forced ta talk ta people. An' ya throwin' my ass under a bus; when ya gonna learn Mae?" Lilly responds too sweetly making her way over to cabinet and begins digging out the salt.
"Come on Lilly, it wasn't that bad. And you didn't clean that kitchen fifty times today. I know part of you liked it. At least the part with Dean. He definitely liked it." Mae coaxes as she takes a seat at the table.
"Yep. Then you had to go an' break our truce. I didn't even have a choice. Dirt and garbage. Clever girl. I knew I was rubbing off on you, Harpy." She hums with pride hiding the container behind her back, as she skips over to the threshold.
"Lilly? What are you doing?" Mae asks suspiciously. "Dean asked me to do that, so he could talk to you." She rushes, worried by her sister's cheeriness.
"Re-establishing our order. Also, you're not helping yourself. Coulda told'im 'no'. Coulda said you love me and wouldn't do that to me... But you didn't..." She shakes her head in disappointment, clicking her tongue as she pours a thin line of sea-salt across the threshold.
"Lilly, wait! No! I'm sorry!" Mae cries out, watching as her sister's actions trap her in the kitchen; a sense of dread fills her. She curses at her sister's twisted sense of ill-placed justice.
Lilly just smiles sweetly and waves before she turns away with the salt tucked under her arm. "Shoulda known better, Mae. N'joy your lesson little sister. It's upta you; this can all end here or be all-out war. What's it gonna be?"
Mae looks down at the salt and back to Lilly before she utters the words "You can be such a bitch. Yeah, it's done. You win."
"That's what I thought. Love you." Lilly sings out, before she skips up the stairs with no remorse.
The last thing Mae hears is Lilly's victorious cackling. "And remember, Mae: Don't mess with the master!"
A/N
Hey Readers! Thank you so much for sticking with us through this story. There is just one small piece left in this Mourning Pie. We really appreciate all your PMs and your comments. We hope you are looking forward our next story, Cursed Pie, which is a much longer book and is already complete. :)
Please leave a comment, let us know what you like about our story.