I suck at keeping up with stories. I do. And I apologize for it.

Things have to get worse before they can get better...

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or ABC.

Enjoy!

Later that morning, Alexis stood at the end of the hallway leading to the homicide bullpen in the 12th. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, but it felt like an eternity. She didn't want to do what she had come to do, and yet, she knew she had to. So, very much like the day just two weeks ago, she steeled herself and pushed forward and into the bullpen, forcing her legs to keep moving until she was standing in front of Beckett's desk. "Detective Beckett?"

Beckett looked up and offered up a small but genuine smile. "Oh, hey, Alexis. What's up?"

"I can't do this anymore." Alexis rushed out, wringing the handle on her purse.

Beckett set down her pen and her smile fell. "What do you mean?"

"This!" Alexis shook her head. "Me coming to the precinct everyday, helping with the case, I can't do it anymore, Detective, I just can't. Because my dad, he's trying to get over you, he really is. He's going to the Statue of Liberty, and whistling, and even if it's just a front he's really trying you know? And I can't keep doing this to him." Her voice was tear strangled. "Because he's my dad, and I love him, and if this is the route he wants to take then I have to support him."

Beckett looked down and sighed. "It's okay, Alexis." She told the teen softly. "I understand. You're right, your dad should be happy, and you should too."

Alexis sniffed. "Really?"

"Truly." Beckett nodded. "I don't want you here if you're going to be wracked with guilt and worrying about your dad." She locked eyes with Alexis. "It's okay." she repeated.

Alexis directed her gaze towards the floor. "I really liked you, Detective Beckett." She said in a voice barely above a whisper. "And I really, really wanted you and my dad to work out."

Beckett reached out and squeezed Alexis's hand. "Hey, you're going to be alright, okay? You and your dad are going to get through this, and everything's going to go back to normal. You'll have both forgotten all about me before you know it."

Alexis lifted her piercing blue eyes, a shade lighter with tears, and looked at Beckett. "You always have the best advice." She told her, giving her a watery smile.

"My door's always open. No matter what." Beckett told her genuinely.

Alexis came around the side of Beckett's desk and wrapped the surprised older woman in a large hug.

It took a moment for the shock to wear off, but when it did, Beckett hugged Alexis back, almost absentmindedly stroking the girl's red hair. If she had had to pick a goodbye that would hurt her more than she thought, it never would have been this one. But as she sat there, she realized just how much she had bonded with Alexis over the past 3 years, and how much that bond had intensified with recent events.

Alexis stood up straight, and gave another weak smile. "See you around?" She asked sadly.

"Yeah. See you."

Detective Kevin Ryan had seen it coming.

As he and his partner had discreetly watched Beckett say her goodbye to Alexis, he had known that there would be a return of Pre-Castle Beckett. The one who had no time for antics, and only for work. The one who had zero toleration when it came to deviating from the book, and couldn't stand tasteless cop humor over a victim. The one who was cold, and overly sarcastic, and kept to herself. The one who trusted her boys, Lanie, and the Captain…but that was about it.

He only had no idea that she would reappear the exact minute she watched the last connection she had to the greatest thing that had ever happened to her walk out the door.

And over the past few days, he had realized that it was worse this time than it had been before Castle ever set foot in the 12th. Now, there was less talking. And when she did speak, it was usually bitter, or cynical.

There had been one time, yesterday, when a softer side of Beckett had come through. Perhaps not as she had been when Castle was around, but softer, for sure.

He and Esposito were gathering up their things after a long day of talking to school kids, trying to find out anything they could about their latest victim (coming up with nothing except the drug lead), and were planning to head to the bar for a beer before heading to their respective homes.

"Guys?" A small voice said just before they reached the doorway, stopping them in their tracks.

Both men turned and looked attentively at Beckett.

"Sorry." She said simply.

Neither of them had to ask what she was talking about. They understood. She was apologizing for snapping at them a few times, and making them walk on eggshells around her, and being so damn cold lately.

"Don't worry about it." Esposito told her, giving her a warm smile.

"Yeah. We've got your back." Ryan reminded her.

Beckett nodded once, forcing out a small smile before returning to their paperwork.

"Hey, boss?" Esposito asked.

Beckett looked back up.

"If you want to come grab a drink with us…"

She shook her head. "I'm good." She went back to her file, and then added, "Thanks though."

"Invitation is always extended to you." Ryan said sincerely.

Beckett gave another forced smile, clearly telegraphing that she appreciated it, but didn't want to talk any longer.

"See you in the morning." Ryan said as the two men turned to leave.

In the squad car, both men's thoughts were consumed with Beckett. How should they help? Could they help? It was hard to tell what was helping, and what was pushing her too far. These days, Beckett had the feel of a pressure bomb. One wrong move, and she might explode.

But that didn't mean they didn't want to help.

They had to.

She was their girl.

Ryan let his thoughts drift back to Alexis's plan. It was too harsh now to keep doing. Too cruel. She wouldn't be able to handle it right now. He had realized that as she had peered up at them from her desk, the dark circles under her eyes and every line illuminated by the yellow light from her desk lamp.

She had looked so tired.

"What are we going to do?" Ryan asked aloud.

"No idea." Esposito replied, confirming Ryan's suspicions that their thoughts were paralleling each other.

They lapsed into silence once more before Ryan asked, "You worried?"

Esposito nodded. "Yeah. I've never seen her like this."

"None of us have." Ryan reminded him.

"Hard to know what to say anymore." Esposito commented.

Now Ryan nodded. "So…what do we do?"

"Try to put Humpty-Dumpty back together again."

There was a pause, and then Ryan allowed a smirk to crawl onto his face. "She'd kick your ass if she knew you just called her Humpty-Dumpty."

Esposito chuckled. "Yeah, yeah she would."

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