Saya fell to her knees in desperation and anxiety, trying not to believe what she had just done. She had to leave and never sleep again. She had to make her memories come back so she'd be fully awake. So she'd know how to obtain the strength to always stay awake and never sleep again. She placed her face in her hands and wept loudly.
"Oh Hagi, please forgive me..." she cried. She curled up into a ball on the ground and wept. Her eyes grew tired.
"Go back Saya, tell your friends of how you've betrayed them. I'm sure they already know," Carl's voice said. The world faded and within a moment she was opening her eyes to a white room.
"Wha-what? Where am I? Man I feel so nauseous," she said as she sat up, pulling wires from her head. Julia entered the room and smiled kindly.
"You've been out for a while," Julia said softly. Saya turned her head aside, not wanting to look at her friend while knowing how she deceived her and everyone else.
"How long?" she asked.
"About a few days," Julia said and she stepped aside from the door. Hagi, Solomon, Kai, the twins, and everyone else she knew stepped in. Solomon hugged her and smiled happily, he was so happy to that Saya was in good condition. The hug parted and he sat beside her on the bed as did Hagi.
"We monitored your sleep," Hakumei said. Saya's eyes widened at the thought of them discovering about her and Carl.
"What-what did you guys find out about my sleep pattern?" Saya asked in a tremulous tone. She gripped the blanket and stared shamefully at her lap.
"Nothing that you didn't want in your sleep," Kai said angrily. Saya touched his hand, so, they had discovered what she had done with Carl. They must've done some heavy monitoring then. How ashamed she felt; true, in a subtle part of her soul she still loved Carl. While, the guilty pleasure washed in over her entire heart, deepening her unwanted passion for him. How it disgraced her heart to bear such love.
"Oh, Kai. I'm so sorry," Saya whispered. Kai pulled his hand away and walked out of the room. He was angry at Saya...But he'd have to face her sooner or later.
"Saya, we're not mad at you. We know that Carl's death has made you feel a little...shameful that you killed him. We are not angry if you've slept with him," Hagi said in his usual, tranquil, tone. Saya looked up at him and smiled. She was so lucky to have a lover like Hagi. He was never angry at her; he was always looking out for her.
And she...She betrayed him. She betrayed him by loving Carl, speaking to him, and wanting to have children with him. Oh, how vulnerable she was. How culpable she was for betraying who she loved; even if she hadn't meant it.
"No...You must be angry with me!" Saya cried, she felt tears stream down her cheeks. She hugged her knees and began to weep for herself.
"Please! How can I get rid of him?! How can make him stop?!" Saya cried. Hagi held her but Saya fought back his embrace, though she soon found solace in his arms. She leaned against his chest, weeping and panting heavily. All she ever wanted to do when she was around Carl was cry. She wanted to cry, bleed, and scream the soul-killing passion away. The tears in her eyes were rapture from her regrets for a little while, and Hagi would solace her in any way possible. Even if it mean killing her, like he had promised long ago.
"Saya, I could never find myself to be angry with you. Only be angry at ones who hurt you...And out of anger; I will kill Phantom," he promised with a trifle of anger in his tone. Saya's head dug further into his chest and tried to articulate her words. But, she was just a jumble of pain, regret, and relief now.
"You can't kill him! You'll have to kill me to stop him!" Saya cried.
"We'll find a way, nankurunaisah," Hagi solaced. Saya's eyes shut and she recalled Carl's World, it was beautiful. It was filled with beauty, wonder, and relief...And so sinful to find solace in. It wasn't a home one would like to stay in a long time. She recalled their child; she wanted to bring her daughter here. Her daughter looked so happy, as if she had forgotten all that had happened to her. As if her mind had been reborn and new memories flooded in to the replace the pain before it returned. How it hurt to see her daughter; she resembled Carl so much. She was a part of Carl and she was a part of Saya; their flesh and soul merging into one. She had become one with Carl. It hurt...It all hurt. Everything Carl told her, did to her, and showed her all hurt. It made her want to stay with him and made her grateful for being his lover. That is how Carl truly hurt her; not with physical pain but with images, words, and wordless caresses.
"Hagi..." she whimpered. Hagi looked down at her and Saya looked up at him; a soft smile tugged at the edges of her lips.
"Promise me that if we cannot defeat him that'll you watch over me as I sleep. You'll watch over me and try to wake me up from the beautiful nightmare," Saya said softly with sadness and desperation in her voice.
"Forever and ever, Saya." Hagi promised...With pity in his tone.