I'll Be There

by macattack102712

Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.

11. Chapter 10

Title: "I'll Be There" Chapter Ten

Author: Macattack102712, aka "Mac Mackenzie"

Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed Fall 2017/Spring 2018.

Pairing: Harm/Mac

Category: Romance/Angst

Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her through the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.

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Three Weeks Later

1800

JAG Headquarters

Mac's Office

Falls Church, VA

Mac had just finished writing her report on the Davenport case when a knock interrupted her thoughts. "Come in!" She knew who was on the other side of the door without even having to look up; she felt his presence wherever she went, and her uncanny ability to know his whereabouts baffled even herself. It was an aspect of their relationship that she quit trying to dissect, choosing to blame it on the visceral connection they shared. Removing another file folder, Mac sighed in relief as she saw that the stack was quickly dwindling. After returning from Leavenworth with her uncle, she discovered that AJ had already submitted her request for FMLA. Much to his initial protest, she had asked to work three half-days a week. It gave her an opportunity to get out of the stifling environment that tended to surround the apartment, and provided privacy to Matthew when the hospice caregivers came by to bathe him.

Like clockwork, Harm entered a moment later, his overcoat and briefcase in hand. He flashed her the infamous smile that set her heart trembling and ignited a rush of heat to her cheeks….

'And other places!'

She shook her head as if to clear the residual thought, then motioned for him to sit.

"What can I do for you, sailor?"

"Well, I was wondering if the two of you would want to come over for dinner this evening?" He fidgeted in his chair. "Of course, if he isn't feeling up to it, it's okay." He held his breath, hoping she would accept his invitation.

The anxiousness was unmistakable in his voice, and it made Mac feel even worse knowing she would have to decline. Due to their respective caseloads and ongoing investigations, not to mention her uncle's rapidly declining health, they had been like ships passing in the night. She desperately wanted to spend some time with him, but her obligations to her uncle and her job took priority. "Oh Harm, I wish I could. It's just that-."

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "I know, it's okay, Mac, really it is. In that case, I need to be getting home, and so do you. It's late." He pulled on his overcoat. "Time to pack it up, Ninjagirl. I will walk you out."

Mac turned to clean up her folders and move them to the metal filing cabinet behind her. Harm found himself unable to keep from staring at her graceful form as she puttered about the office. She looked at him over her shoulder as she worked. "How would you feel about coming by my apartment instead? We don't have much in the way of groceries, but there's this really good Indian restaurant just down the street from me. I'll swing by on the way home and order takeout."

Just the thought of spending time with her filled his heart with joy. "Better yet, how about you call it in and I'll pick it up? I need to stop by my apartment and change anyway. No need for you to get out in this mess any more than you have to."

Indeed, the weather had taken a nasty turn after the noon hour. The temperature outside had dropped considerably, such that the rain had transformed to a wintery mix of slushy ice and snow.

His thoughtfulness touched her heart, and the sincerity filled her eyes when she accepted his offer. "That would be really nice, thanks Harm." She shut off her monitor, then snapped her briefcase closed before coming around to the front of her desk. He removed her overcoat and matching wool scarf from the rack, motioning for her to turn so he could slip it over her arms. She maneuvered the over-sized buttons into their respective holes, starting from the bottom and working her way to the top. Engrossed in what she was doing, she failed to notice that Harm had wrapped the wool scarf around her neck, tucking the ends into the upper shoulder flap of her coat. His fingers accidentally brushed the slope of her neck, and she froze. Her heart began to thump erratically in her chest, and she was certain it would leap right out of her throat and go running across the empty bullpen. Her eyes traveled up to meet his. The look in his eyes nearly drove the very breath from her body.

She had only seen him look at her like this twice. The first time occurred when she showed up on the docks at Norfolk, dressed in Harriet's spare uniform. She had unintentionally looked like Harm's murdered girlfriend, Diane Schonke. The fact that she held an uncanny resemblance to the aforementioned deceased had remained an uncomfortable point of contention in their relationship. In the years since, Mac had lost count as to the number of times she'd replayed their first kiss in her head. But no matter how many times she did so, she always wound up more confused than before. Who was he really kissing that night? Some days she was convinced that he was kissing Diane goodbye, and others she felt that maybe, just maybe, he was kissing her. The second time she had caught him looking at her with something indecipherable in his eyes occurred during his temporary assignment as acting JAG. He had toppled backwards in the Admiral's chair, and for a few days afterwards, he seemed to look at, and regard her, in a very different way. And it was the way he looked, at her then that was exactly, as he looked at her now. There was something so familiar, yet unfamiliar in his eyes…..

The moment his fingers grazed her soft skin, a jolt of electricity went straight through his veins, setting all forty-six miles of nerves in his body on fire. The years he spent as a fighter pilot managing a 40,000-ton F-14 within his hands had left his reflexes tight, fingertips ultrasensitive. This, combined with the instinctual way he felt and heard every move and breath she took as though it were his own, allowed him to feel the erratic pulse beating beneath his fingertips.

She wanted to say something, oh how she did! But her brain was too fuzzy to form a coherent thought, especially when his fingertips traveled up past her chin to rest, almost featherlike, on her lips. This only served to send her heart skittering even more, and she breathed deep to settle it back into its rightful place within her chest. She watched, her eyes searching his, as his face inched closer to hers.

A movement out of the corner of her eye made her jump. Somebody had just entered the glass doors that separated the bullpen from the elevator corridor.

It was the Admiral.

Both instinctively put some distance between each other.

AJ stopped short when he noticed the pair just inside Mac's office. "Commander? Colonel? What are you still doing here?"

"Oh, uh…we were, uh, I was, um, just checking with the Colonel before I went home for the evening, sir. I uh, thought I would take her to din- I mean, her and Colonel O'Hara to dinner." He finished lamely, "Tonight."

He could kick himself!

'Get it together, Rabb!

AJ's eyes flicked between the two. From the blush creeping across Mac's face to the way Harm shifted his weight nervously, it was obvious that he had interrupted something.

'I really don't want to know. The less I know, the better off we all are'.

"Is that so, Commander? Colonel?"

Mac nodded solemnly, her demeanor stoic. "Yes, sir" as she gestured towards her briefcase. "I was working late on the Davenport case when the Commander stopped by to offer dinner. He waited on me to close up my office so he could walk me to my car. We were just leaving, sir."

By far, Mac was more eloquent and convincing in her delivery despite her shifty gaze. The seriousness with which she validated Harm's statement nearly caused him to laugh out loud. AJ decided to make them squirm a bit more; after all, what were Admiral's privileges for if he couldn't have fun with them every now and then? He deliberately walked closer to them until he was roughly a foot away, never breaking his gaze. "I assume you both will be at work in the morning, ON TIME". He emphasized the last two words. It took all of his training, as a NAVY SEAL, to keep any hint of amusement from his voice. He could swear a fine bead of sweat popped up just beneath Harm's hairline!

Harm swallowed thickly. "Yes sir, that would be a correct assumption." What was it about his CO's mere presence that made him feel like he was back in his elementary school principal's office for trying to plant a kiss on the cutest girl in his first-grade class?

AJ took a minute more to scrutinize them before deciding he wouldn't be able to contain his laughter much longer. "Very well, then. Goodnight Colonel, Commander." He strode past them to his office to retrieve the folder he'd forgotten regarding the McManning case. On second thought...if the exchange that just occurred was any indicator, he'd need to figure out what he was going to do with them sooner rather than later. "I swear, they are going to send me to an early grave" he muttered as he grabbed the list of options regarding assignments for the two lawyers he'd just interrogated.

Mac and Harm risked glances at each other, then decided they'd better beat a hasty retreat before the Admiral could come back and ask them any more questions. Automatically placing a hand at the small of her back, he ushered her out of the building and across the parking lot. He waited while she started the car and buckled herself in.

"Um, I'll see you in about thirty, is that okay?" Harm was nervous once more, afraid she'd backed out following the exchange that had occurred.

"You'd better be on time, Flyboy. Marines don't like to be kept waiting, especially if it's at the hands of a squid!" She gave him a full smile, then motioned towards her phone. "I'm going to call it in before I get on the road. No need to wait on me."

He shook his head. "For you, I'll be early." He went to close the door, then stopped. "And I'll always wait on you, as long as it takes." He let the words hang in the air between them for a brief moment before gently shutting the door, leaving a gaping Marine behind.

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1930

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown, Washington D.C.

"There, now you've got a fresh set of sheets on the bed, and your pajamas should be just about dry." Mac helped him to a sitting position on the side of the hospital bed that the palliative care company had brought. She handed him his cane, then set his slippers next to his feet. The buzzer for the dryer went off, alerting her that the load of laundry was done. "Ah! Speak of the devil! Let me go get the load out before it wrinkles."

He caught her arm as she turned to leave for the laundry room off the kitchen. "Thanks, Sarah."

A puzzled expression muddled her features. "What for?"

He gestured towards himself in one sweeping motion. "I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all you are doing for me. I know it's not easy, this." He tugged on her arm gently, indicating his desire for her to sit.

"Oh, Uncle Matt" she sighed, perching herself on the edge of the mattress, "you know I'd lay down my life for you. I'd do anything you need me to do". She moved to bracket his face, her hands gently tracing the fine wrinkles. "I'm honored I get the chance to do something for you in return…you know, show you I wasn't a waste of your time."

Matthew grabbed her hands where they rested on his cheeks. "Sarah, you never were a waste of my time. Never could be, even if you tried. My only regret is the time I wasted on the unimportant things. I love you," he squeezed her hands, then affectionately tweaked her nose.

"I love you, too, Uncle Matt."

He pulled her close, in the tightest hug, he could manage given his weakened state. Laying her head against his chest, she heard his heart quietly sound out its rhythm, knowing that one day very soon, it would go silent. They stayed that way until a sharp knock at the door forced them apart.

"Better go let that handsome sailor of yours in before he breaks down the door".

She blushed profusely as she went to answer it. "Uncle Matt! He's not mine!" She quickly ran a hand over her hair to smooth it down, then opened the door, a full smile covering her face at the sight of him. "You're two minutes early, quite a record for a squid!" She stepped aside to let him in.

"I'm always on time, I'll have you know! It's your clock that's off!" He poked her in the arm.

"Uncle Matt!" Mac whined in mock protest.

Matt grabbed his cane and hobbled over to the pair. "Don't look at me!". He shook Harm's hand warmly. "Good to see you again, Commander. Make yourself at home."

"Thank you, Sir, and please, it's just Harm." He held up the bag of take-out. "I come bearing gifts."

"Harm it is, and in that case, it's Matt," he grinned, "or you can me trouble, but absolutely none of this 'Colonel' or 'sir' business!"

"Yes, si-Matt" he complied, barely catching himself in time.

Mac took the bag of food from his hand. "I'll go and plate this up. It won't take but just a minute."

"What's in that?" Matt pointed to the grocery sack in Harm's left hand.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Mac!" He pulled out his pair of neon-print lobster oven mitts, holding them up with a big grin. "I thought these might come in handy touching those hot dishes." Of course, she wouldn't need them as the food was in Styrofoam containers, but when he spied them laying on his kitchen counter, he couldn't pass up a chance to tease her with them.

Mac rolled her eyes as she took the gaudy mitts from his outstretched hands. "I knew you would find some excuse to bring these hideous things! Yuck!" Laughing, she disappeared into the kitchen to get the food plated and served.

Harm turned to face the elder Colonel. "How is she doing, Matt?"

"I wouldn't say there's been a significant improvement in her eating and sleeping habits, but she's holding her own. We both are." He sighed as he watched her putter around the kitchen, her slim figure partially obscured by the refrigerator. "I just hate seeing that haunting look in her eyes. Has she said much to you in regards to my situation?"

Harm's expression clouded. He knew what Matt was referring to; he'd seen it one too many times. He saw it when her ex-husband came back to threaten her, when she was taken hostage by the stalker and Dalton was killed, when Chloe was being abused, and when the Roberts' daughter had passed away. The latter, by far, brought the deepest pain. He knew Mac somehow blamed herself, for baby Sarah's death, as though her very name had somehow tainted the precious life. A life snuffed out before it ever got started.

There was not a doubt, in his mind, she was going to make a wonderful mother one day. It was evident she loved Chloe and little AJ as though they were her own flesh and blood. For now, he kept the images of his children, their children, locked up safe in his heart. His eyes tracked her every move: the way she unconsciously tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear as it shifted with her movements, the little shake of her head when she couldn't find the utensil she was looking for…

"Harm? You alright?"

"Huh? Oh, oh yeah, I'm fine…I…" he trailed off, unable to take his eyes off her.

'What was it the Colonel had asked him? He couldn't remember...'

"If you're gonna stare at her like that, the least you can do is pull your waterlogged head out of your six and ask her out."

Harm's head snapped up instantly at the Colonel's suggestion, shock evident on his face.

Matt resisted the urge to slap the Naval lawyer senseless. "You can't fool this old Marine. Just ask my niece, who seems to have all your attention." Merriment danced in his eyes at the open-mouthed man. He knew his niece and Harm loved each other, they just needed a gentle shove- okay-a forceful shove, to get them to admit it. "Close your mouth, son. I could land a C-130 in it!"

Harm gulped, his heart beating fast in his chest at the thought of how protective Colonel O'Hara was of her. Even though he was sick, he was still a Marine, and you never wanted to cross a Marine the wrong way! Before the two could say anymore, Mac appeared in the kitchen doorway and announced dinner was ready.

"Guess we'll have to finish this conversation later, eh?" Matt whispered to Harm, clapping him on the shoulder before making his way to the table.

Harm chuckled nervously, resisting the urge to tug at the collar of his shirt. When had it gotten so hot in here?

"Are you two loafs done swapping your manly stories yet?" she teased them as she pulled out a chair for her uncle and took his cane.

"Well I don't know about the manly part, but I do know we were engaging in one very interesting story, weren't we, Harm?"

Harm choked on his sip of water.

Instantly, Mac was by his side, patting him on the back. "Easy Sailor, you ok?"

Matt watched the scene unfold with a bemused smile.

"Yeah, I'm 'kay. Just went down- 'rong way. Thanks" he croaked.

"You never answered my question, Harm."

"Uh…*cough* …yes, uh *cough*, yes we were" he sputtered and took another drink of water.

Mac grated some peppercorn over her salad, then handed it to her uncle. "You know…I don't think I want to know what specific story, that is."

Matt chuckled. "Well then, don't ask and you won't."

"You're awful, Uncle Matt!" she cried out, playfully swatting him on the nose with the lobster mitt.

Harm stuffed a wad of lettuce, in his mouth, grateful for the distraction. He felt the blush creep into his face at the Colonel's comment, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"Oh come on Sarah, I'm not that bad!'

"Yes...you most certainly are, Uncle Matt, and you know it! Now shut your trap and let's eat, Mister."

"Yes ma'am!" Matt gave her a mock salute before ducking as a wet noodle went flying in his direction.

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LATER THAT EVENING

Well into the tenth hour of the evening, the food was all but gone, with dishes pushed to the side and the two men engaged in swapping 'manly' stories (as Mac liked to refer to them). She stood up to clear the dishes when Harm reached across the table to stop her.

"Leave those, Mac. I'll clean up."

"Harm, you already went out of your way to pick up dinner and you paid for it. I can do the dishes."

He refused to budge. "Let me do this for you, tonight. Go spend time with Matt. It won't take but just a few minutes. Pick out a movie while you're waiting."

She shook her head. "Really, Harm, you've already done so much for us tonight."

"Would you stop being so stubborn, Jarhead!"

"I am NOT being stubborn, Squid!"

He gave Matt pleading looks for backup

"Let Harm take care of this and we'll go in the living room and pick out a movie. I think we can squeeze one in before it gets too late."

Mac pinned him with a look. "You're supposed to be on my side, Uncle Matt."

Matt tossed his napkin on the table with a resigned sigh. "Well, baby duck, it's obvious that we're at an impasse here."

Mac scrunched her face in confusion as she set her plate back down. "What do you mean?"

Matt shrugged. "It's obvious Sarah…we just don't...see…eye to eye." He waggled his eyebrows at her playfully, hoping she would catch on.

She remained confused for a moment longer until memories of her childhood game with him came to mind. Her face lit up in joyful surprise. "OH!" She quickly vacated her chair to stand in front of him, stooping so she was face level with him, hands on her knees. "So, just how are we going to fix this?"

Matt shook his head. "Looks like we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way." Dusting his hands off, he paused to square his shoulders, then slowly inched forward towards her. "You know the rules of the game."

"Uh huh." Mac moved until she met him halfway, lining up her right eye with his right eye.

Harm watched the scene with a mixture of mild confusion and amusement at the little game they were obviously playing. It lifted his heart to see the joy on their faces.

"So, do you think you're going to see…eye to eye…with me, Uncle Matt?" She had a mischievous smile as she moved her hands, to his shoulders, to steady herself.

"Ohhhhh nooo. It will be the other way around. Youwill be the one to see….eye to eye…with me." He covered her hands with his and they were so close Harm could barely fit a piece of paper between them.

"Never!"

"First one to blink, loses" Matt added, focusing on the challenge at hand.

The two had their right eyes pressed against each other in a staring competition, daring each other to blink first.

"Not a chance!" Mac squared her shoulders, her face set firm.

He placed his hands behind his head as he leaned back, in his chair, mocking her. "I can do this all day."

"Well so can I! I learned from the best. Give it up, already!"

Neither refused to back down or blink.

They were silent a few seconds longer. Then, a huge grin began to spread across Matt's face.

Mac's mouth started twitching despite her best efforts to keep a straight face. "You're cheating Uncle Matt! You're fluttering your lashes and tickling my eye!"

"Oh, so now you're accusing me of cheating?"

"YES!" she went to poke him, in his ribcage, but his quick reflexes thwarted her attempt and trapped her hand against his chest.

"Now THAT'S cheating!"

"Sounds like a personal problem!" Mac retorted, still not blinking. Truth be told, she was beginning to lose the battle. But she refused to back down. No way was she giving up so easily!

"So, Harm, I hope you're taking notes. This is a great way," he blindly gestured to Mac as the two continued to face off, "to win an argument with Sarah. It's easy to beat her. Especially if," he nudged a hair closer, "you start batting your eyelashes" he grinned mischievously, "like this," and he very lightly fluttered his lashes against hers.

Mac couldn't contain herself anymore and burst out laughing, blinking in the process.

"I win!" Matt shouted victoriously. "See?"... he grinned, "You just can't beat me, Sarah. How long have we been doing this? 30 years? When are you going to learn your place?"

"As long as it takes!" She hugged him fiercely, then dropped a kiss on his cheek. "For the record, I let you win."

"Uh huh! Now go start that movie before we all fall asleep waiting!"

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2400

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown, Washington D.C.

It was snowing thickly as the movie credits rolled on the TV screen. Stretching his muscles, he came to his feet. A soft smile crossed his face at the sight of Mac and Matthew snuggled up in the hospital bed. Hating to wake her but not wanting to leave without her knowing, he gently shook her shoulder.

"Mac, it's midnight, I'm going to head home now" he whispered softly, his fingers unable to refrain, from tucking a stray lock, of hair behind her ear. Her hair was incredibly soft and he felt a rush, at the thought, of running his fingers through the silken tresses. He settled on brushing the back of his hand against her cheek instead.

She rubbed her eyes sleepily as she came to. "The movie over?"

He nodded, his hand trailing down to rest on her upper arm. "Yeah, and I wanted to let a sleepy Marine know I'm leaving."

She yawned again, then vacated the bed, careful not to wake Matthew. "I'm sorry I fell asleep".

"Don't worry, Mac. You needed the rest." Satisfied she was coherent, he went to the closet to retrieve his coat and muffler.

Catching a glimpse of the snow outside, Mac walked over to her balcony door and observed the white city beneath her. Whatever tire tracks left by motorists had long been covered up, the amber glow of the streetlights casting an eerie hue over the still-falling snow. The streets were completely impassable. He was most certainly NOT going home tonight, if she had any say in the matter. She turned back to where he stood by the closet, buttoning up his coat.

"You're not getting out in this weather."

He raised an eyebrow. "Mac, I'll be fine. I've driven in snowy weather before. Plus, my SUV is all-wheel drive. I know better than to drive my 'vette in this."

She shook her head emphatically. "I don't care. It only takes one wrong turn or some idiot not paying attention. You're not leaving."

He appreciated her sincerity, but he glanced over at Matthew's sleeping form. He didn't want to give the Colonel the wrong impression. While his heart desired the woman in front of him more than he could ever demonstrate...he meant what he said earlier that evening. He was willing to wait. She was worth it.

Mac followed his gaze, understanding crept into her mind. "Uncle Matt wouldn't want you out in this, either." She touched his arm to draw his attention back to her. "Please, Harm, stay. You can take my bed. You're too long for the couch."

Harm shook his head. "No way, Marine. I'm not kicking you out of your own bed."

"You're not. I'm offering. There is a difference." She sighed. "Besides, I've been sleeping on the couch since he came home from the hospital. I can keep a closer eye on him this way."

He gazed at her for a long moment, and seemingly comfortable with her honesty, he agreed. "Okay Marine. I'll grab my sea-bag from the SUV, and then you can lock up for the night."

She turned down the covers and removed an extra quilt from the linen closet. The temperature outside dropped considerably since they finished dinner; as such, it had grown chilly in her room. Plumping up the pillows, she took a step back to observe her work. Satisfied, she turned on the bedside lamp and exited the room, switching off the overhead light.

Harm returned at that moment, seabag in one hand and the other tucked under his armpit, trying to warm it up.

"You were right, it is really slick out there. I nearly busted my butt when I stepped out the front door. I didn't see any salt trucks on the road, either. I doubt they will have the roads clear, by the time, we have to go to work in the morning."

She removed his bag from his hand so he could shrug out of his coat. "Thank you, Harm. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you on the way home."

He touched her cheek, letting his hand linger for a moment. "I'm not going anywhere, Marine. I mean that."

Mac grabbed his hand and planted a kiss on his palm so brief he wasn't quite sure she'd done it. "Now get some rest, sailor!" She shoo'd him in the direction of her bedroom.

"Night, Ninjagirl" As he climbed into bed, a smile crossed his face as he allowed dreams of one very special Marine to invade his mind and carry him to sleep….

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::END CHAPTER 10::