I am once again, really sorry for the delay of this chapter, which was caused by me having to rewrite chapter two! Please be assured, this will not happen again. I hope this chapter was worth the painful wait, and I hope chapter two is on par with the original draft.

Also, after a few dark chapters, I'm making this one a bit more lighthearted and silly. Maybe it's the wrong place for this, but it works for me!

Ed, Edd n Eddy's Quest for the Pure Hearts
Eleven: The Trio of Duos of Dunces

"They've lost our trail. We're safe for now."

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to get a hunting party on us."

"It's not your fault. Really..."

...

"Blumeire?"

"Hmm...?"

"What's the matter? It is about my appearance and the patrol isn't it?"

"No! No. Just... let's talk."

"Huh?"

"You wanted to talk. Let's talk."

"Alright, so, ask me anything."

"Okay then. Timpani, why do you follow me?"

The air was stale with dust of fifteen-hundred years. The long forgotten ruins were holding the secret which would lead to the Orange Pure Heart. "I can sense it." Tippi told the group. "The Pure Heart, it beckons. We are close."

"Then we must trudge onwards!" Double D said.

"Or... you guys can trudge onwards and I'll stay here and rest!" Eddy suggested. The party shot him a threating glare. "Geez! It was just a suggestion!" Eddy complained.

The heroes walked down the long corridor to find a small wooden door. Mario pushed back the wood, to find three long dark passages, and a large metal door. Mario walked closer to the large metal door. On it, three key holes, each of a different size and shape. Mario huffed. "I-a think-a its o' obvious what-a we have to-a do."

Eddy, picking his ear and barely looking, responded, "What?"

"We're-a splitting up." Mario answered.

"NO!" Eddy retorted. "Bad idea! I watch thrillers! The handsome guy with a ton of babes always dies first!"

"You're-a neither, so you'll-a be o' fine." Mario reassured him. Eddy groaned and muttered something which included Mario's name and at least one foul word.

"Since-a Ed's been-a so good, we'll let him pick-a who he wants to-a go with." Mario stated. "Ed, who-a do you want-a to-a go with?" Mario asked.

Ed struck an odd thinking position, tapping his chin like a kettle drum. Then, he exclaimed. "Euphoria!" He then held a rock over his head. "It is a light bulb, and I have made a decision!" Ed ran over to Double D and picked him up over his head. "I want Double D! Can I? Can I? CAN I! I love him, and feed him, and change his litter box, and brush his encyclopedias, and wash his hat, and give him lots of math homework, and-"

"He's yours, Ed." Mario replied, giggling at how Ed treated Double D as a sort of pet.

"Yippee, kai-yay!" Ed exclaimed happily, pulling Double D into a tight bear-hug.

"Please..." Double D whispered, his voice constrained by Ed's grip. "Don't leave me with him..."

"Well-a bye, you o' two!" Mario replied cheerily, waving in a hasty manner.

"Let's go this way Double D!" Ed yelled excitedly. He grabbed Double D's hat and began to pull the Ed down a random hallway, into the darkness. Double D's shouts of protest echoed through the claustrophobic chambers, but grew quiet, dimmed, and faded.

Once Mario was sure they were out of hearing range, he breathed a heavy sigh. "Oh! Thank-a goodness! I don't-a have-ta to-a go with Ed."

"Wait a sec, dude! You mean you set that up just so you wouldn't have to go with Ed?" Nazz asked suspiciously.

"That-a would be o' correct." Mario answered.

"Clever one, dude." Nazz replied casually. "Gotta give yah props for that; do feel bad for Double D though."

"Ah, he's fine!" Eddy snapped, changing the subject. "So, who does big ol' Eddy here get to go with."

"Dibs on Mario!" Tippi shouted. Everyone gave Tippi a confused stare. Though her face was hard to see, it was evident the flying pixl was probably blushing under her rainbow exterior. "W- well... I just feel me and Mario haven't... bonded! YES; bonded enough! So I think we should probably go together."

Nazz wasn't convinced. "But why did you sound so-"

"Who cares?" Eddy shreiked with happiness. "That means we'll get to spend some quality time searching for our key, together..." Eddy said romantically, leaning against Nazz like a cool lover.

"Oh brother," Nazz moaned. She shoved Eddy off him and pointed towards the middle tunnel. "We're takin' that one. Keep up if yah feel like it." She strutted down the tunnel; her feet making unnatural sounds on the scratchy brick texture.

Eddy hastened in pursuit of his female companion as she walked further into the darkness. "Wait, babe! Was it something I said?" He called out to her.

Mario and Tippi were left alone in the darkness of the rubble. Mario turned to Tippi and without speaking, pointed towards the tunnel to the right. Tippi awkwardly nodded and she flew after Mario as they paved their way into the unknown of the Yold Ruins.

...

"Ed! Please put me down!" Double D shouted. After about fifteen minutes of repeating the same phrase, Ed finally dropped the poor child, none too gently, onto the floor.

"Sorry Double D!" Ed replied sheepishly.

"Yes, well, shall we proceed with finding the said key?" Double D suggested.

"But where is it." Ed asked.

"We have to find it." Double D answered.

"Ooh! Look! A helmet!" Ed shouted, pointing towards a blue dome looking struction on the floor. It was very reflective and looked like a strange form of metal, though it was hard to tell as the only source of light was the sparce torches which hung on the walls. Then, the unexpected.

"GOOD LORD! THE THING MOVED!" Double D blurted out. The blue dome scurried across the floor making tiny little scratching sound as it moved. The strange animal then proceeded to climb onto the wall. Ed ran after it like and excited dog and pried it from its place.

"Look, Double D! A mini-koopa." Ed said excitedly. He held the turtle creatures tiny up to Double D's face. The creature was mostly covered by its shell, but tiny yellows legs, a stubby tail, and a tiny head with piercing red eyes could be seen.

Double D couldn't stand being within three feet of the critter. "Ed! Get this digusting vermin away from my personal bubble!" He swatted at the turtle which went flying down the tunnel. The poor turtle landed on its shell, which shattered on impact. The creature behind the shell itself was very pathetic, nothing more than a tiny yellow lizard. Noticing its shell was gone; the former turtle blushed, and scampered off down the tunnel.

"Modesty is the first step to honesty." Ed stated.

"I didn't know shells could act like clothes." Double D mused. "Yet another triviality of this world." Before he could speak more, he noticed more of the scratchy sound which the first turtle had made when moving. Double D looked at the ceiling, the source point of the sound. Before he could run or do anything, Double D felt the blue shelled beast drop onto his face and grip it with his tiny claws.

"Oh good lord, it's latched onto my face!" Double D shrieked in agony as he ran like mad, trying to rip the creature off his body.

"Wait Double D!" Ed called out. "I wanna helmet too!"

...

"Friday?"

"No."

"Saturday?"

"No."

"Sunday?"

"No."

"Tuesday?"

"Yah skipped Monday." Nazz reminded Eddy.

"Are yah good then?" Eddy asked.

"No." Nazz said flatly. "Now stop asking. The answer's not gonna change cause yah keep asking."

"Nazz, wait-"

"I said no!" Nazz snapped interrupting Eddy. "Can you get that through you head? Please."

"But-" Eddy tried to say

"I said-" Nazz retorted, still walking forwards.

"Nazz stop!" Eddy proceeded to tackle Nazz to the ground just as three rotating saw jutted from the floor, right in front of the poor girls face. Had she kept walking, Eddy would be left with blonde hair and bologne. The saws swayed left and right for about a minute, then retracted back into the floor.

Eddy lifted himself off Nazz then said, "Uh... sorry about tackling you. Just uh... saw that trap with my uh... vision and I didn't quite get to warn-"

"No, no. It's my fault." Nazz replied softly. "Should have listened to you when yah started sounded worried and... stuff..." The two blushed, then indirectly looked at each other. "We should, yah know... Probably keep going."

"Yah. Uh-huh..." Eddy replied.

The two strutted down the hall casually for a bit, but it wasn't long before Eddy once again asked about a date. "So, Wednesday work for you?"

"Want me to nail him?" Thoreau questioned Nazz.

"No, no. It's cool." Nazz whispered. "I could do that any time I wanted."

...

Though it was hard to see, it was clear the faded carving in the dim lit room represented some kind of huge beast. It seemed to resemble a lizard, or a snake. Whatever it was, it could mean nothing good and gave Mario and Tippi butterflies thinking about what the creature could be. "Disturbing," Tippi said. "Do you think we'll have to face a creature like that?"

"I don't-a know." Mario said uncertainly. "May-a-be the creature has-a died o' already."

"And maybe the Tribe of Ancients will start slacking off." Tippi said sarcastically. "Speaking of the Ancients, why did they design such a terrible place. Skull torches," she indicated by flying near one. "Signs written of death, traps for killing; this place just seems to scream 'evil.'"

"Probably o' made that-a way to-a keep out un-a-wanted visitors." Mario guessed.

"Maybe..." Tippi said, unsure what to think. 'Funny how he always tries to takes things in a positive perspective.' Tippi thought. 'So brave and selfless; he cherishes keeping people safe. He almost reminds me of... of... of-"

"Hoho," Mario spoke, snapping Tippi from her thoughts. "What-a have o' we here." He chimed, staring at a blank wall. Tippi used her pixl senses and discovered the wall had brick with a strange sort of aura coming from it. To Mario, the brick looked neon and discolored among the brown and sandy bricks.

Mario reached into his backpack and dug around until he finally found the pocketknife he got at Howzits. He pressed the blade against the side of the strange brick and began scraping away the cement that bound it to the wall. After much force, he finally cut away enough mortar to pull out the brick.

The brick itself was hollow, with a small grey key on the inside. Mario shook the key out, letting it fall into his hand. "That-a was-a too easy."

"Let's hope everyone else has the same luck." Tippi said.

...

"Oh good lord, its claws feel like tacks, tacks!" Double D yelled as he continued running and screaming down the dark passages of the Yold Ruins.

"Double D! I want to borrow your helmet." Ed cried after him as he chased after his bolting friend.

"Pardon my French, but it hurts like a son of a-" BAM! Not noticing the turn, Double D smashed face first into the wall at the sharp turn. With the poor creatures shell shattered, the tiny impish creature hopped off Double D's face and scurried away from the cowering Ed. "I hope those creatures aren't capable of spreading rabies," Double D murmured, rubbing his face.

"Wait up Double D!" Ed called. He paraded toward his friend and stopped by his side. "What's the matter, Double D? Is your tongue in a wrestling match with the cat?" Ed asked, concerned about Double D.

"Ugh! That creature was covered in dirt!" Double D moaned, wiping his face off. "Filthy, filthy, filthy... Let's just find the key and get out of this disgusting place."

"Allow me!" Ed said, picking up the scrawny boy and heaving him onto his shoulders. "I learned this trick from Eddy."

"And up here, it's impossible to catch whiff of your odor." Double D remarked. "Why thank you Ed. This is very generous of you."

"Giddy-up horsey!" Ed cheered. He began to run down the corridors like a champion racehorse. Unfortunately, due to his tall height, and narrow size of the halls, Double's head was smashing into the low lying stone support beams which lay across the ceiling being spaced about three feet apart.

"Ow- Ooh- Ow- Geez- Ed- Will- You- Stop- Ouch- OW!" Double D's bumpy speech continued as Ed refusal to listen or let go caused Double D to receive a concussion all the way down the hall.

"This flight is due to expect turbulence! Please fasten your seat belts, ladies." Ed advised, hearing bumping sound from above him.

...

"Where's Tinkerbell when yah need her?" Eddy muttered, trying to decipher the runes and writing upon the plaque in front of him. "I can't read heads or tales of this junk."

Just inches from Eddy's face lay the key. Yet it was stuck behind solid glass infused with some other kind of gem; crystal maybe. Breaking the case open wasn't an option. Below the case were three levers. Which one opened the case, they did not know, and neither Nazz nor Eddy touched one, for fear of setting off any farther traps. To the side of the traps, were the scriptures which Eddy was busy staring at.

"It's probably some kind of riddle." Nazz surmised. "Don't worry, dude. I can just-"

"I don't need to hear anything of what Tinkerbell has to say. Just watch babe!" Eddy pointed towards the runes. "See this." He indicated by pointing at the symbol which looked a wavey line, which a dotted mark above it and slash near the corner. "This shows a wave with a sun over it, which represents the open ocean." Eddy explained, trying to sound logical.

"Eddy, all I need to do is-" Nazz was once again cut off by Eddy.

"That means, the correct switch is blue. Seeing as how all the switches are the same color though, it means we need to look for the sun." He walked over to the levers. "The left lever over here has a funny looking cut in it, which relates to the cut in the sign thingy over there, which means we gotta press this lever." Eddy pulled the switch carelessly.

A great rumbling sound filled the room. "You idiot! run!" Nazz shouted. Eddy and Nazz turned to run for the doors, but steel bars closed over the doors before they could escape. Deadly lasers made simply using magnified torch light shot across the room, freezing the two in their spots. Sand began leaking through cracks in the room, which would most certainly bring the two children to their doom.

"You could've just let me ask Thoreau to read the script, yah moron!" Nazz shouted furiously as Eddy. "Even if he was unable to, wouldn't it have would've just made more sense to get Tippi instead of listening to your ego!"

"Oh yah..." Eddy replied, feeling stupid.

"Whelp; now we're gonna die." Nazz moaned. "Thanks Eddy."

"Want me to punch him now?" Thoreau asked.

"No." Nazz grunted. "Don't give him the satisfaction."

"Don't worry Nazz! I'll save us!" Eddy reached into his bag and yanked out a travel sized mirror. "What would I do without you?" He asked the mirror. "Now it's time to rock! I'll put my mirror in the path of a laser and use it to disable the security systems." Eddy put the mirror in the path of the nearest laser, but unfortunately only managed to burn Nazz's arm.

"Heh..." Eddy murmured. "Whoops..."

"Okay. New plan." Nazz said. She created a hand using Thoreau's magic, and fastened its grip around another one of the levers. She willed it to pull, and the traps deactivated themselves simultaneously making the glass lift from the key. Nazz walked over, grabbed the key, and shoved it in her pocket. "Now let's go." Nazz ordered.

Nazz stomped out of the room, furious at how stupid Eddy had acted. Eddy, frustrated at how he probably just turned Nazz away from him forever, leaned back and berated himself. "Smooth move. Now she's gonna hop all over Kevin when we find him." Eddy felt himself sliding backwards. He turned around, realizing he'd been leaning on the last lever.

Above him, sections of the wall slid open, letting loose storms of circular thomps he'd slept through on the mountain. "Mommy..." Eddy whispered. And with that, he was off racing for the door. "WAIT! NAZZ WAIT UP!" He called, fleeing the room, running off to his companion.

...

"Youch- Ooh- Ow- Oh- ED STOP!" Double D yelled with all his might. Finally, the large lug noticed Double D's call and dropped the child with no second thoughts. Double D sat up painfully, wiping his bloody nose and cuts with a rag from his bag. When he'd cleaned his face off, he began lecturing Ed.

"Ed! We've been trailing around these tunnels for over an hour, and all I've seen is the front end brown bricks. Ed, I don't believe there is a key in this section of the ruins. Perhaps we should go back and-" Double D stopped when noticed Ed scratching the side of his head, with a peculiar grey object. "Ed, what is that."

"Oh this," Ed replied, pointed the object he was using to scratch his head. "It's a head scratcher I found near the door of the ruins. Pretty neat, huh?"

"We had the key this whole time!" Double D shouted. "Why of all the-" Double D took a deep breath and calmed down. "Oh what do I care? I was paired with Ed. It was bound to happen anyway." Double D began marching back to center of Yold Ruins, despairing that all his pain was for nothing.

"Would you like to burrow it, Double D?" Ed asked.

...

Everyone soon found their way back to the entrance, where the door with the three locks was. Mario and Tippi were relieved to get back, but guessing by the evil eyes Nazz and Double D were casting, as well as the grim face Eddy was giving off; they guessed the others had a less than happy time hunting for their keys.

"So uh... shall-a we-a go and-a find o' us a Pure-a Heart?" Mario suggested.

"That works for me." Nazz said with hints of anxiety in her voice.

"Yes please, before I get an ulcer." Double D said.

"You can burrow my ulcer, Double D." Ed replied.

Mario stuck the three keys into each of the locks. He twisted them, and the door slowly creaked open. Behind the door, was nothing but an empty room with a ladder leading up to a hatch which leaked out bright light. The surface! Everyone paraded into the room and began the climb out of the darkness and hopefully to the next Pure Heart.

Not my best chapter, but yah know what! It's finished! Cut, print, let's boogy!