1 Soda's POV

It was getting really late and really dark. I decided to go check on Ponyboy.

"Hey Steve, if Darry comes back, just call me down. I need to go talk to Pony for a while." He nodded, understanding what I was going through. The whole gang was going through the same thing. Pony was everyone's little brother, and Darry was everyone's big brother. We never thought that Darry would abuse Pony.

I knocked on Pony's door, wondering if he was sleeping or not. No one answered. I shrugged and decided to open the door, and just tuck him into sleep. But what I saw took all the breath out of me in one fatal whoosh.

His bed was empty. The window was open, along with his draws, and desk lay empty. I sat down on the bed and tried to clear my thoughts. No, no, no. He couldn't of. He wouldn't. I felt something tapping my thigh softly, and saw Pony's Gone With the Wind book, and a letter. I opened the letter and read it carefully. It was his hand writing. At least he hadn't been kidnaped.

The letter bought tears to me eyes. He really did leave, and for all the right reasons. Tears streamed down my face. I need Pony. I need Pony. But right now, all I have is Steve.

"Steve! Steve!" My voice sounds far away but I'm really screaming. I slid from the bed and onto the floor, thinking and wondering if Pony was okay.

Steve came crashing through the door, panic written all over his face. He takes in what he sees and I wonder if that's what I looked like when I saw all of this.

"Oh my God. Soda." He sat down next to me and hugged me. But that didn't stop me from sobbing.

I'm not sure how long we sat there like that. I finally gave Steve the letter, and for one wild second, I thought he was going to cry. But he didn't. He held it in. Then we heard the door open downstairs, and Dally calling out.

Dally's POV

I came in, looking to talk to Pony. But no one was downstairs.

No duh Dally it's almost midnight. They're probably all sleeping.

I shook my thoughts away. If Pony was here, I wanted to talk to him. If not, I beat the crap out of Darry.

I knew what the kid was thinking. He wanted to leave. I didn't want him too. I didn't want it to be too late. But something was telling me that I was too late.

I heard faint sobs coming from upstairs. I raced up to Pony's room, and saw what I feared. The bed was empty. As where the draws, and his window was wide open. Steve sat on the floor, hugging a sobbing Soda. I sat down next to Soda, and rubbed his back awkwardly. What? I don't know how to do this stuff.

Steve handed me a letter. Pony's hand writing. I read the letter over and over, not wanting it to be true. But it is. Suddenly, hate takes over panic. This is Darry's fault. All. His. Fault. And I know that he's probably drinking at Bucks too. The place is usually quiet on a Tuesday night, but Darry loves beer.

"I'll be back." Steve gave me a look telling me not to go to far. I just rolled my eyes, got up, and drove to Buck's.

I do care about the gang. Especially Johnny and Pony. So right now, kicking Darry's ass made sense to me.

I walked into Buck's, and low and behold, there sat Darry gulping what was probably his third beer. I gritted me teeth, and walked right up to him.

"You know where Pony is?" I wanted to know if he forced the kid out, and that the letter meant nothing.

"Why should I give a damn where the kid runs off too?" Anger boiled through me. He use to really love Pony too. What the hell happened?

"Because he's your little brother." I didn't want to hit him yet. Just hear if he ever did care about the kid.

"So? He might be but-" I cut him off by handing him Pony's letter. He put his beer down and read the letter. When he finished- get this- he rolled his eyes.

"The kid always had a flare for the dramatics." My jaw dropped.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Darry looked a little scared because he knew what I was going to do to him.

"He could be hurt! All because of you! All because you became an alcoholic! You know how stupid you are?! He. Is. Your. Little. Brother. I don't think that I can make that any clearer. And you know what sucks?! He still loves you. He really does love you still. Even though you refuse to see that. Now, I would advise you to get your sorry ass out of this door, and never take another drink of beer again. Because if you do, what happens next? You abuse Soda? I won't take that. So get up now, and you are going to find Pony and make up with him." He looked at me, like he actually cared. He nodded and got up.

Maybe I was getting through to him, without hitting him. Hmm. How ironic.

Darry's POV

I sat next to Dally in the car. I held Pony's letter in my hand. I felt caught between two worlds. After Soda left, I thought it was Pony's fault.

So I started telling myself that every day. And drinking. That didn't make a good mix. I could hardly remember the first day I beat him. But he was probably sore afterwards.

Flashback

I had just gotten home from work. I was angry, because I had thought about nothing but Soda the whole time, and almost fell off the roof.

Pony was looking through the fridge, looking for something to eat. He's still so small. He still has his blond hair, but it's streaked with red and brown.

"Darry, what do you want for dinner?" His eyes where bloodshot, and puffy, from crying and not sleeping.

"Damn, I don't know, anything's fine." He gave me a worried look when I swore. God that kid has got to grow up.

"Okay." He put something in the over and started putting it to the right tempature .

Something inside of me snapped. I looked at his report card, and saw a C+. I do everything to make sure that this kid gets good grades. I have to work, just for him. So did Soda. And now he's at war, and Pony just selfishly doesn't care.

"Are you kidding me Pony?" I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. He knew what was coming. I could see it on his face.

"I do everything I can for you, and this is how you use it?" He tried to say something but I punched him across the jaw. Hurt and fear registered across his face.

"Darry you just-" I cut him off but sending a blow to his stomach. He doubled over in pain, and I kept the blows raining, until I got tired, and left him lying on the kitchen floor.

End of Flashback

I started to cry. I think. My head was messed up from the beer, and thinking of all the wrong things I did to Pony. He'll never forgive me. Never. Never in a million years. And even if he does, I won't forgive myself.