She woke up feeling...light. She felt like the weight of the previous months had somehow been lifted. She stretched and breathed and smiled as the sun hit her skin through the window. She lay in bed for a while, using the remote control to turn on her CD player. The familiar sounds of an old album filled her room as she lay in her bed with her eyes wide open. She looked at the clock. 6:00 a.m. She didn't have to be at the office until 8:00 at the earliest. She lay for a while longer before finally rising and making her way to the bathroom for a shower.
--
Before the sun even came up, Lucas was laying awake in his bed. He set his feet on the floor and made his way to his desk. Suddenly, he had the urge, for the first time in two years, to write. He didn't know what words he would type, or where they were coming from. He just wrote. His hands felt good on the keys, and stayed there until he had to go to practice. After a healthy dose of ridicule from his brother and Skills concerning his overnight getaway, their short, game day practice was finished. Lucas was eager to get back to his laptop, but had one last stop to make before heading home.
--
Peyton had spent her entire morning re-reading contracts and putting together a schedule of studio time and small performances for her new artist. Three coffees and a few hours into the day, she was desperate for a break. She tried to pretend she hadn't filled every silence in her mind with thoughts of Lucas, but finally got tired of fighting it. She made her way out of her office and walked towards her car, knowing exactly where she was heading before she even turned the key.
Everyone in this world has a place where they can just be. A place where, even if for only a few moments, they can block out the sounds and sights and complications of life, and just exist. For Peyton, that place is the Tree Hill cemetery. It's not conventional, by any means, but it's where she always felt most at peace. She could always find answers in the silence. She could ask questions aloud to everyone and no one in particular. And to her mother.
She took her familiar place on the grass beneath the maple tree. In the years she'd been away, the roots of the tree had grown up out of the ground. She sat amongst them, their strength like arms around her small frame; both holding her up and keeping her down. After 10 minutes of silent contemplation, she heard footsteps crunching the fallen leaves and turned to see a man who had helped all her friends in some way or another over the years.
"Coach!" She stood up as he reached her side.
"Well, Miss Sawyer, most grown ups call me Whitey." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Oh, I don't think I'd consider myself a grown up."
"Well I don't know that I am either, but what can you do?" he chuckled. "Visiting with your mother?"
"Yeah, I needed some advice."
"You know, Lucas was out here 'bout 20 minutes ago asking Keith for some advice too. I hope his uncle and your mother are up there comparing notes on you two." The older man winked at her. She looked to the ground and chuckled, and at the simple mention of his name, her stomach did a backflip remembering the gesture and his smile from the evening before.
"Peyton, I don't think it's any coincidence all you kids coming back here. You can travel the world all you want, but most of the time the things you love have a way of bringing you back right where you started from." She looked up at his face into his eyes that had seen more life than she could imagine. "That place is home, Miss Sawyer. And it's always going to be here waiting for you."
"It's like I never left. It's kind of nice." She paused and bent to pick up her purse. "You know, I think Lucas would like it if you came to a game every now and again."
"You tell Lucas that if his team could win a game, I might start showing up to cheer 'em on. Of course that would require you two talkin'."
She wondered for a moment how he knew, then simply said, "I'm working on it."
"Well work harder!" He shouted, reminding her of the crabby demeanor they had all come to love. "You know, Lucas came to me a few days after you left town."
"He did?" She looked up at him again, unable to hide the sadness on her face.
"He said that he thought you two were meant to be together. You know what I told him?"
"What?" Her eyes focused on the ground, and she pushed a leaf with the toe of her shoe.
"I told him that everyone else knew it. And that some day you, Miss Saywer, would know it too. Just because he's not talking doesn't mean he doesn't want to. Find away to make him."
The two stood in silence for a few moments until he signed the cross and turned to her with a warm smile and a tip of his faded Ravens ball cap, and walked away.
"Game tonight, Coach," she called after him. She saw him shake his head as he made his way to his car.
--
"Pick it up! Come on, pass the ball!" Lucas shouted from the sidelines.
The gym was packed and the scene was all too familiar. Brooke and Peyton suddenly felt much older than their 24 years.
"Is it just me, P.Sawyer, or does it feel...small in here?" Brooke asked as they took their places in the stands.
"Yea, maybe it feels bigger when game nights are the most important thing in your life."
"You know, we've never actually sat in the bleachers together for a game?!" Brooke turned her head to look at Peyton. Brooke had gone to almost all the Ravens' home games since returning to Tree Hill.
"No, but remember when I got shot in the leg and couldn't walk for a while? I took in a couple games from up here." Peyton laughed.
"Right. Sorry." Brooke smiled. "GO RAVENS!"
The girls started laughing hysterically and for a few moments, both forgot about the world outside that moment. Until Peyton saw Lucas. He looked good in his suit, calling plays and watching the team he coached execute his demands.
She snapped out of her daydream when Haley came and sat next to her.
"Hey Teacher Mom. Bring your pom poms?" Brooke asked, leaning over Peyton to nudge her friend's thigh.
"God no!" Haley shot back.
"Oh come on, I'm sure Nate would love to see you in that uniform again." Brooke winked and they all laughed.
"Where's Jamie?" Peyton asked as they all cheered after a Ravens basket.
"He's down there in his little suit, handing out Gatorade."
"How adorable is that!?" Brooke shrieked, looking through the sea of people for her Godson.
"Yup. He wants to be just like his daddy." Haley smiled at the thought.
The three spent the rest of the game laughing and joking about old times. Lucas looked over at one point and swore he was just three cheerleader uniforms away from the way things used to be. A smile spread across his face as he looked at a happy Peyton and remembered that night in a crowded gym when he stopped in front of her and told her that he wanted her beside him when all his dreams came true.
She caught him looking her way and widened the smile on her face. He looked away, but she couldn't help but wonder what had him smiling again. She hadn't seen that look of happiness in ages, and she hoped with everything in her that her presence had something to do with it.
After the game when most of the crowd had cleared, the girls sat in silence in the gym, staring at the state championship banner, memories of that time rushing back into their minds. After a few minutes, Haley got up to leave, then Brooke.
"You coming?" She asked the blonde.
"I think I'm going to sit for a while. Call me tomorrow?" She looked up at her friend, who looked over at Lucas smiling and joking with Skills and talking about their long awaited victory.
"Sure. 'Night."
"Bye, Brooke." Peyton looked at her feet and Lucas noticed she was still sitting there. There was an ache in his heart as he watched her. The thought of the two of them alone in the empty gym brought an unexpected excitement to his mind.
"Well, coach, 'bout time you started teaching those boys some defense."
"Whitey Durham. You finally came to a game." The two hugged casually and smiled. Peyton took notice of their conversation. Lucas had his back to her, but she could feel his happiness, even from her place in the stands.
"Well, I had some help." The older man looked towards Peyton and nodded. "Ran into a young lady today who said it might mean something to you to show up."
Lucas looked to the floor and laughed. "It means a lot, Coach. Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Thank her." Whitey motioned towards the stands again, where Peyton was getting up to leave. The three of them were the last ones left in the gym. Lucas looked over his shoulder. "And Lucas, this means something to you, but I know it'd mean something to her to know you brought her mother flowers every time you visited Keith."
Luke smiled, "I just figured someone ought to." Both men knew there was more to the gesture than that. Luke looked at her again as she was walking across the gym floor.
"Go on, son. I'll see you next game." Whitey patted Lucas on the shoulder with a smile and turned to walk away.
Peyton was almost out the door when Lucas caught up with her.
"Hey," he said, placing a hand on the small of her back.
She smile and turned to face him. "Hi. Congrats on the win."
"Thanks. And thanks for talking to Whitey. You really didn't have to do that."
"It was nothing." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked to the floor
"It was something to me. So thank you." Her eyes met his and she grinned at him. "You want to take a ride with me?"
She looked at her watch. It was getting late, but all she had waiting for her was an empty house. "Um. I guess I have no reason not to."
"Don't get too enthusiastic, now," Lucas joked.
"I just don't want there to be yelling this time." They started to make their way out of the gym.
"No yelling. I promise."
They walked to his car in silence. He opened the door for her and she threw him a smile as she sat in the seat that used to be hers. He got in and turned the key and the engine purred to life.
He turned to look at her. "Now, I know Peyton Sawyer must have some music to fit the moment."
She laughed and reached into her bag. "I don't know what this moment is yet, but here. Put this on."
Ryan Adams' voice filled the car and they both realized what the moment was - the two of them reconnecting. It takes two when it used to take one.
"I forgot how good you look in a suit." Her elbow was leaning on the door and her face was resting in her hand.
"I forgot how good you look in that gym." She turned to him and narrowed her eyes. "I could have sworn we were 17 again. You, Haley and Brooke laughing and cheering on the Ravens. Felt like it used to."
"No it didn't."
He took his eyes off the road momentarily to look at her with confusion.
"This time I was watching Lucas Scott, Coach, not Lucas Scott, star shooting guard."
He laughed again. It still felt strange to hear someone call him a 'star'.
"Yeah, you were staring. It was so obvious, really. I mean, the guys were asking about it." He smiled at her as she stared at him with her mouth open about to protest. "They kept bugging me about the hot chick who couldn't take her eyes off me. You should really try to hide it better."
"Shut up! They did not." She playfully hit him in the arm and turned back to the road.
It was dark when they got to the cemetery. She got out of the car and crossed her arms again to fight the chill of the night air. Lucas went to the back of the car and opened the trunk.
"Here," he said, tossing her a sweater, familiar lettering advertising Keith Scott Body Shop written across the back. She smiled, thinking of the man Lucas admired most in the world. She pulled the sweater over her head and got lost in the familiar scent of it. Cologne and just a little bit of sweat. She remembered the nights at the River Court when he would shoot the ball until he got too tired or too distracted by her presence and come wrap his arms around her.
He closed the trunk and walked to her with his hands behind his back.
"Luke, I know you hate me, but please tell me you're not about to throw me in an open grave," she said as they started walking.
"No," he laughed.
They reached the familiar place under the tree where she used to sit and draw until her hands were black with pencil led.
"Why are we here, Luke? This is weird."
"I have been coming here once a week since you left." He looked at her and pulled a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back. There was only a far away lamp post splashing soft light on her face.
"Why?" There was shock in her voice and a tear in her eye that she didn't want him to see.
"Because you would have." He looked at the flowers in his hand and placed them against the grave stone. "Do you remember the first time you brought me here?"
"Luke..." She tried to interject, but he continued.
"You said that I had you smiling again." He looked at the stone, not at her face. He needed to say this and couldn't do it if he was watching her. "When you left, it killed me, Peyton, but I knew that what you were leaving for made you happy. I just wanted you to keep smiling. So I let you leave because more than anything in this world that I could ever ask for myself, I wanted you to be happy."
Suddenly her arms were around him and her face was buried in his chest. It took him by surprise, but eventually his arms found their way around her waist.
"Thank you." It was all she could muster.
They stood there embracing for what felt like hours before she pulled away from him slightly and wiped a tear from her face.
"I'll give you a minute." He pulled away from her and placed a hand on the gravestone in front of them before walking away.
Peyton couldn't believe he had done this. Once a week for two years. 104 visits he made without her knowing. She was filled with a new hope: The kind soul she fell in love with was still inside him somewhere.
"Hi Mom. I know it's late." She paused and looked over to Lucas standing in front of Keith's grave. She could barely see him through the darkness. "Why didn't you tell me he came? I know. I wasn't ready to hear it. It probably surprises me more than it surprises you. I told you he was sweet, though. I just want him to find his way back to me." She stopped to wipe a tear from her eye again. "I love you, Mom."
She pulled a few flowers from the bunch he had set there minutes earlier and made her way to Lucas.
"Hey Keith," she started. Lucas turned his head to look at her, wondering what she was going to say next. "Since your nephew stiffed you on flowers this time, I'll leave you these." Lucas chuckled and threw an arm around her, which shocked them both. He laughed because Keith would have.
"Let's go. I'll take you home." They walked back to his car again in silence. She didn't know what to say to him now. Her heart was filled with even more love and gratitude and she was afraid that if she opened her mouth, all of those feelings would fall out of her in a mess of words and it would ruin everything. So she said nothing.
When they pulled up in front of her house, the house they had sat in front of hundreds of times before, she turned to him, finally having found some words.
"Luke, thank you. Really." She turned to leave his car, but he stopped her.
"I don't hate you, Peyton." He placed a hand on her forearm.
"What?" She looked at him again.
"Earlier, you said you know I hate you. I don't hate you." He was shaking his head as he said the words.
"OK." She wanted so badly to kiss him again, but didn't want to ruin the moment. "Goodnight." She got out and walked to her front porch. He waited until she was inside to drive away, like he always had.
Her music was still playing in his car. He was about to turn back to return her CD, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt like there was still a piece of her with him, and he wasn't ready to give that up just yet.
Peyton got to her bedroom and put down her bag. She pulled off the sweater and looked at it in her hands. He had forgotten to ask for it back. Secretly, she hadn't wanted him to. She got ready for bed and pulled the grey cotton over her head again. If she couldn't sleep next to him, at least she'd sleep with the piece of him she had.