Chapter Eleven

Sesshomaru stayed only a week in the northern lands and he was never permitted to speak with or even see Kagome. Prince Souta stated to him that Kagome was very ill and it was unwise to be in close contact with her. Sesshomaru knew it was a lie, but said nothing. 'This is nonsense!' He thought as Kagome came into his thoughts again. Maybe this was the time to just forget about everything involving her. Kagome was with her family now which is where she belonged. He did not need to think of her any longer. As these thoughts went through his head so went his new desk through a wall in his study becoming nothing, but tiny splinters.

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Six months had past and winter was nearing. Kagome was finally a loud to leave her home, but never alone. She had often chosen Sango to go with her horseback riding just outside the castle. Though she rarely spoke at all she seemed happy to others. Kagome knew other wise and was just becoming a better actress day by day by saying that everything was ok.

One day on one of Kagome's outings with Sango they came upon a small pond in a clearing. It seemed familiar. As Kagome thought about it more she dismounted her horse and lead it to the pond for a drink. When she looked into the water that's when she remembered that dark cold rainy night when she had tried to take her own life. InuYasha came into her mind and she fell to her knee's.

"Kagome!" Sango shouted and ran to her. Kagome tried so hard not to cry. "I'm fine Sango. I'm just a little tired from the ride." Sango sat there for a moment with her arm around her friend's shoulders. "Are you sure? We could go back to the castle and let the doctors-" "No!" Kagome shouted at Sango moving away from her. "I am fine! I do not need to be locked away again for god knows how long! Just leave me be!" Kagome walked a few feet away from Sango then looked back. Sango was upset and did not mean to say what she did it was clearly written that way on her face. "I'm sorry," Kagome said turning away from Sango mounting onto her horse. "Please, let us return for supper before anyone begins to worry about us." Sango looked up to see Kagome smiling and hoped that everything was ok. She wouldn't say anything to Souta and Kagome knew this because she didn't want to see her friend locked away again in her room not even free to seeing anyone.

"Yes, let's return." As Sango walked over to her horse Kagome gazed off into the clearing of past things that had happened to her. It was time to truly forget and be happy again. She knew that she would probably be alone for the rest of her life, but it was to be expected. She had to undergo a full physical by Prince Hojo's doctors before his family would allow him to wed her. Of course she failed. She had admitted to the doctors, her mother, and brother that she had let herself get carried away and had given herself to InuYasha and a few other men when she was away those four years. Of course though in a way, that was a lie. Everyone was disappointed except for Hojo and Kagome. Kagome because she did not wish to marry someone she barely knew and did not love. The same was for Hojo and he was a loud to marry a council member's daughter that he was in love with. In a way things kind of did work out.

As Kagome and Sango rode back silently the first snow of winter began to fall from the sky. Kagome stopped for a moment just letting it fall onto her. She laid her head back enjoying the cool flakes falling onto her face. It felt as if there was nothing for her to worry about anymore. Finally she proceeded again back home to wear she would have to go through another unfortunate dinner with her family. How she hated it. The thought of them knowing what was best for her just got under her skin and bothered her so.

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Quietly that royal family of the northern lands sat there in silence eating there dinner. Not a word was spoken throughout the entire meal. When it came time to retire Souta decided to keep the family for a moment longer. "If I may say something before you lady's retire for the evening." There was a moment of silence and his mother nodded with acknowledgement and took her seat again. "I have received word from the western lands that the younger lord, Lord InuYasha, wishes to visit for a few days in celebration to the birth of his son, Kiyako. It is unfortunate though that his bride had died during child birth." "And did you agree to let him stay here?" His mother butted in. "Yes, I did. I think that we should keep the peace between our family and other family's no matter what has happened in the past. Just as long as some of us agree not to go whoring off and ruin this family's reputation even more that she already has." Kagome could not speak. The color from her face was instantly drained. Shock could be seen written on her face with sadness in her eyes. She knew that her brother spoke of her and she could not bring herself to say anything back. All Kagome could do was leave the room.

Tears began to fall from her eyes as she headed down the corridors. She couldn't believe that her own brother, her own flesh and blood, would steep so low as to call her a whore. As she entered her room and curled up into a ball onto her bed she wondered if maybe that's what she really was. She was no good to marry off anymore unless someone wanted used goods. She truly hated her life at that moment and to have to share her own home with the man who turned her into what she saw in the mirror everyday was heartbreaking in every way possible. She thought she had finally begun to mend her wounds to only have this thrown at her. With heavy sighs and more tears Kagome slowly slipped into a heavy sleep to where so hoped to get away from everything she hated so much in the real world.

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"No! Please! Please, Stop!" She cried out hoping that someone would hear her pleading words. "HAAA! Stop, please!" She could barely get the words out as he shredded the clothing she was wearing. "Shut Up! Your mine and you need to remember that! I can do whatever I want with you!" He shouted back at her. She didn't know what to do. "Stop!!" She screamed for dear life as he penetrated her. He smacked across the face and flipped her over so she was on her hands and knees. She cried and screamed with help never coming. Her face was slammed into the ground as his climax was approaching. "Why!!" she shouted. Then he was done and she was left there on the forest floor.

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Kagome awoke from her sleep with sweat on her face. Her heart raced as she awoke from another dreadful nightmare of the past. It was still dark out and she could see the moon high in the sky. Getting up from her bed she walked over to the balcony doors. The cool night breeze washed over her calming body as she opened the doors. She walked out and sat on the ledge looking up into the sky. Not a single star shone its light, but moon was beautiful. A crescent moon lit up the sky and the land below. Kagome couldn't help, but simile as she was reminded of Lord Sesshomaru. He was a mystery in a box that she would never be able to unlock. It had been so long since she had seen him and she just wondered had he thought of her, just even once since the last time they saw each other.

As Kagome sat there and thought more she began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, that InuYasha had changed in some way for better since the death of Kikyo and the birth of his son. She prayed to the Gods that in some way his visit would not be unpleasant and she would finally be able to cope with her past. She knew she would never be able to tell anyone else the truth besides Lord Sesshomaru and she prayed that he would never tell a soul of her secret. The wind blew again felling cool against her skin and blowing her hair around her. She felt at peace and wished for more moments like this. She felt as if time had stopped for the moment.

Kagome lay down on the ledge looking into the night sky. She stayed there for hours and watched the sun begin to rise with a new day. She could fell the cool dew on her skin and the warmness of the sun. It was still so quiet and she wished ever so much that she would never have to move from where she laid. Her dreaming had to come to an end though. Someone was bound to spot her there and she preferred it to be a certain demon Lord. Though she didn't why, but those amber eyes of his, his cold face pale face, and stunning silver hair where beginning to haunt her.

As the morning breeze began to blow around her feeling as if it was giving her a morning hug, Kagome decided it was time to get ready for this new day and the new arrivals that came along with it. As she rose from her spot she spotted a small group a soldiers and a carriage approaching the palace gates. She knew that it was InuYasha she could feel his aura. She concentrated for a moment and could something different about it. As if something was lost and replaced with sadness. Perhaps the loss of Kikyo still lingered strongly in his soul. Either way, it was time to bring the present with the past and hope that they did not collided in a terrible way.