Chapter 11
She was restless as she sat in Archie's office. She kept shifting and re-crossing her legs as her mind raced around in unhappy, anxious circles. "Belle?" She looked over at him, pulled out of her thoughts. He was watching her closely and she suspected he was not working overly hard for his money with her today. It was clear something was wrong, and it hardly helped that she had called him up out of the blue to see if he had any time to see her today. He had been surprised, she could tell even over the phone, and agreed to see her on her lunch break. She wasn't surprised that he was displaying visible curiosity when she showed up as she had been so eager to get out of his office the other two times she had seen him so many months ago now. She was sure he had never thought to see her in his office again, and yet here she was, highly agitated and not talking despite her insistence on meeting him as soon as possible. He prompted her when it became clear she wasn't going to start. "What is it that's bothering you?"
She began to twist her wedding ring furiously. She had to talk to someone about this or she was going to either explode or do something impulsive and no doubt idiotic no matter what she had promised Gold. The thing was she didn't know who it was she should talk to. Her first instinct was to simply stay quiet about it as was her normal reaction, but that wasn't making her feel better and she was back to her insomnia with a vengeance the last few days despite having had a nearly perfect sleeping pattern for months now. Thinking he must have been right about this being more than a bad habit she twisted the ring again. She needed to talk about this but she really did not want to go to jail, which took Ruby right out of her options list. It also took Granny out, because she knew at some point she would let it slip to her granddaughter. "Did you mean what you said the first time we met?"
He cocked his head. "What part?"
"The part about confidentiality?" He frowned and she went on. "You can't break that can you? No matter what I say?"
"No, I can't." He agreed. "Belle, what's going on?"
"I-" She licked her lips nervously and he sat calmly holding his pen. That freaked her out too, that this might go into writing, which could be used as evidence to get her in serious trouble. "Could you not write this down?" He frowned and set both the pen and the paper down on the table between them and waited. Finally she broke. "I did something insanely stupid."
"Why do you say that?" He asked calmly.
"Because it was stupid… and illegal."
He seemed surprised and she understood why. She had never gotten in trouble in her life. "What did you do?"
She shifted again. "Do- do you remember when I told you my father was in debt because of the loan?"
"Yes. You said you gave the shop back to your husband."
"I didn't, I mean I did… that's not exactly what happened." He waited. She had to tell someone and took the final plunge. "I told you I was the co-signer on it. It was too much for me to ever pay back to him. Hundreds of thousands of dollars on top of what the shop and the truck were worth. Even if I gave him everything I got for the house on top of those things… It was too much for me." She took a deep breath. "I went to talk to Gold about it a few days after the funeral because I had to take care of it and I had no idea what to do. He agreed to take the shop and forgive the debt if I would marry him so he wouldn't get deported. I think before that day I've only talked to him about three times. We were never seeing each other in some sort of secret affair the way everyone thinks. I started those rumors myself so people would believe it, and it spread the way I knew it would."
Silence. That was all she got from the man for nearly a full minute. She looked down at her lap and twisted the ring unhappily. "I… see."
There was no real way to justify this. There was no way to defend it short of sheer desperation. And now that she started talking it was like she couldn't stop. Archie hadn't reacted at all the way she expected, and feeling as if she had told him what could get her in trouble she just went ahead and told him the rest so she could get it off her chest. "I didn't know what else to do. I would have defaulted on everything. I never would have bounced back from that, ever. It was too much. He said it would only be for about a year and a half. All I had to do was pretend it was real." Her stomach was in knots. "I have my own room at the house. All we do is live there together so it looks right."
Archie turned that over for a moment before speaking. "Has he done anything you didn't want him to do to you? Forced you into something?"
"No, he would never do anything like that." She was appalled he would even suggest something like that. Gold was many things, but a sexual predator he was not. If anything he was a gentle man when it came to her, and she suspected anyone he had a real emotional relationship with.
"Are you in trouble over this?" She shook her head in denial. "Then why are you this upset?"
"Because yesterday I went to the bank to deposit my check and they told me all the money that I owed him was in my account."
Archie frowned in confusion. "What?"
"All of it." She said anxiously. "I know how much it was supposed to be because I worked it out before I went to talk to him about it. It's all there down to the last thirty-six cents. I don't know what's going on."
"Did you ask?"
"Of course not." She said. "I don't know what he would do if I brought it up. You know how he is with deals, everyone knows. I promised to keep my end as a way to pay the money back, but now I have the money too and I haven't done anything to get it. It's not what we agreed on."
Archie seemed stumped as well, but was more curious about her reaction to it. "Why are you afraid to ask him about it?"
"Because… because…" She twisted the ring furiously.
"Because why?" He asked.
She looked away from him. "Because I don't know why he would give that to me unless he wanted me to leave."
"But you never wanted to marry him to begin with." Archie pointed out. "Why would that bother you?"
She looked up at him helplessly and he understood. "Ah." He said with quiet understanding.
"I don't know what's the matter with me." She told him, strained. "I never… I didn't want to… I didn't mean to…"
He finished for her. "Fall in love with your husband?"
She let out a strained laugh. "It sounds even more messed up when you say it."
"We can't help how we feel." He told her gently.
She firmly disagreed. "I can. I can help it."
"You can pretend better than a lot of people, but no, you can't."
She let out something close to a whine. "I don't know what to do." Which was really the whole reason she was here. She needed help with this.
"Have you considered telling him?" The doctor asked.
"No." She said sharply.
"Why?"
She sent him a look that clearly stated she thought he was crazy. "Because he's marginally fond of my company. That's as far as it goes. I still have almost eight months of this to go, assuming he isn't about to send me on my way when I get home tonight."
Archie went quiet again before speaking. "I think for him a show of marginal fondness may be a sign of something much deeper."
She had another theory, which may or may not be fueled by her panic more than what experience was telling her. "That, or it's the only way he can deal with me for an extended period of time."
"You're devaluing yourself, Belle."
"I'm being realistic." She snapped.
"You're realism seems to be what got you in this mess to begin with." He pointed out. "You don't seem to be enjoying what it brought." She resented him for saying that, but resented herself more because it was true. "Do you want to stay with him?" He asked after several seconds.
"I don't see how that matters." She said as she rubbed at her forehead, she felt a headache starting. "I'll be leaving soon regardless."
"But do you want to stay with him?" He insisted.
"Yes." She admitted quietly.
"Then you need to talk to him about it. He can't read your mind."
She wasn't feeling any better. "He doesn't want me."
"You haven't talked to him about this. How could you know that?" She disliked that Archie was being as logical as she normally was when her head was working right. She disliked that she couldn't find that place on this matter anymore. "Has he said that?"
"When we agreed to it he did."
"You mean when you went to talk to him about the loan the first time?" She nodded. "And that was what? Almost a year ago?"
"Eleven months." She said.
"Do you think it possible that you're not the only one that's had a change of heart in that amount of time?"
"He can't be interested."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm me and he's who he is." She told him honestly. "I'm a high school graduate with a low paying government job. He's got a law degree and owns most of Storybrooke. What do we have in common? What could I possibly offer him that any other woman couldn't?"
"I think that's a question only he can answer, Belle." Hopper pointed out. "And he's not going to be able to answer it unless you talk to him." She slumped in defeat, unsure of what else to say. Archie left her alone for a minute as she processed this. When he felt she had enough time he spoke again. "What's the worst thing that could happen? Realistically."
"He tells me to leave." She answered. Her first impulse had to say she would go to jail, but that wasn't going to happen. She knew, deep down, that even if she left his house right at this moment and demanded the deal break early he would make no attempt to get her in trouble. How she knew that she wasn't sure, but it was true all the same.
"And if he tells you to leave what will you do?" He asked.
"I hadn't thought about it." She told him, having barely been able to get her head around the fact that she'd fallen in love with him. The feelings were so overwhelming it was hard to think straight, and the whole thing had blindsided her to begin with.
"I think it might be a good idea to think about it." He said. "I think if you have a plan you won't let yourself get so upset."
Slowly, she nodded in agreement. "You're right."
"And that doesn't mean that's going to happen." He reasoned. Having run out of things to say she just nodded and looked toward the window. Once again he let her sit for a minute or so before speaking. "Are you feeling any better?"
"A little." She admitted. "I don't like lying and keeping secrets. I'm glad I could finally tell someone what's been going on."
"I can imagine." He said. "It's good you came to see me. It's not healthy to hold things like this in all the time."
"I used to talk to my father." She told him honestly.
"I understand." He told her. "I'm sure this has been a hard year for you, harder than anyone knew." He leaned forward a little. "Why don't we meet again next week? I think you'll feel more like yourself if we make this a regular part of your life for a little while. How would you feel about that?"
"I think that's probably a good idea." She admitted, as hard as it was for her to accept help. "When?"
Reaching over he grabbed his planner and they made another appointment. Before she left her urged her to think about her worst case scenario plan and promised they could talk about it next week when she came to see him. Feeling a little better despite the topic she went back to work and then home, but she was still jumpy and upset when she got there. She was thankful Gold was still at work because she needed to get herself together. She walked around the house for a few minutes before finding something to occupy herself.
Deciding she could stand the organization of his bookcase no longer, as there was no organization of any kind that she could comprehend, she was busily getting the blasted thing in order. She was sure he would have a fit when he noticed, since he seemed capable of finding anything in this low level hoard he had at any given moment, but the fact that the books were so grossly miss-alphabetized could no longer be ignored. She was a librarian; she couldn't live like this as it was appalling to her senses. Pulling all the books off the shelf she began to line them up properly by the author's last name and slowly managed to get herself back together as she did something familiar and soothing. By the time she was on the last shelf an hour and a half later she was much more relaxed and focused. She certainly felt as if she could now handle seeing him and acting like a normal person in front of him, which had been her main goal when she began destroying his organizational system to replace it with her own.
As she finished placing the last of the books in its new place there was a hesitant sort of knock on the door. Glancing around, and wondering who in their right mind would come here voluntarily, because Gold had even scared all the salesmen away, which honestly she was thankful for, she went toward the front door. She spotted a young teenaged boy through the colored glass and opened the door curiously, hoping he was a boy scout selling popcorn as she very much liked popcorn. Sadly, her hopes were quickly dashed as he wasn't wearing a uniform, but she was still curious over who he might be as she had never seen him before, and she knew every child in Storybrooke. He was a handsome boy, with thick, dark curls and deep chocolate eyes. He had perfect skin, which was unusual for someone his age, and a strange and compelling bearing about him. She guessed he was about fourteen and she had never met anyone so young present themselves this way. He didn't seem to know that he was doing it either. He was dressed in well-made clothes, but they certainly weren't meant for late March in this area. There was still snow on the ground outside and he was in a thin looking blue sweater and khaki slacks. The poor boy looked half frozen without even a scarf, let alone a coat and mittens. She was immediately concerned when she saw he was shivering and wondered if he was lost.
"Hello." She said kindly, not wanting to scare him off. "Can I help you?"
"I'm looking for Russell Gold." He answered, surprising her with a lilting Scottish accent as he looked at her with confusion, then over to the side of the door where the numbers for the address of the house were. "… I must have the wrong address. Do you know if he lives near here?"
She had a sudden, strong inkling as to who this teen was, but how he had gotten here was a mystery. She was very sure he should be in Scotland. "You have the right house. He's still at work. Would you like to wait?" She asked as she moved back to give him room to come inside. It was far too cold for him to be out there any longer.
"Yes, thank you." He answered politely and stepped inside, much to her relief. She wasn't sure what she would have done if he had refused short of waiting with him out on the porch until Gold got home.
As soon as he was inside she shut the door on the cold and tried to set him at ease as he warmed up. He was looking around more than a little warily and she didn't want him thinking he wasn't safe in his father's house. She held her hand out to him at once. "I'm Belle."
He took her hand, suddenly shy and clearly confused by who she was. It was clear Gold hadn't mentioned her, and frankly she couldn't blame him. What was the point of telling his son he was married when he was set to be divorced in a few more months? He hadn't seen his son in years so there was no point in bringing it up when he had no idea he was going to see him again before she was gone. It seemed a waste of time when they only spoke on the phone a few times a year. She was sure Russell was much more interested in what his son was doing than telling him about her. "I'm Bae."
"It's very nice to meet you Bae." She said with a smile, which had him blushing. "Might your last name be Gold?"
"Yes, mam." He said politely, relaxing when it was clear she knew who he was.
"Hmmm." She said teasingly as she let his hand go. "I rather thought it must be. You have your father's eyes."
"I do?" He asked with interest.
Her eyes twinkled. "You do. And his nose as well." She assured him. "But he didn't tell me you were coming to see him."
He looked guilty all at once, although he tried to hide it. She thought he either didn't inherit his ability to lie from his father, or he didn't bother to practice at it much as Russell did. Of course, his father had all but turned deceit into an art form, so perhaps it was better Bae was awful at it. It could bode well for his social life. "I wanted to surprise him."
She sensed far more to this story, but didn't push him. She knew very well if Russell had any idea his son was coming she would know about it. There had been too much caring in him when he told her about his son a few weeks ago for her to believe he wouldn't be over the moon to have him here. Instead she focused on more immediate matters. It was well past lunch, close to dinner, and she had no idea how long he had been wondering around. "Did your surprise take you straight here or did you manage anything to eat on the way here?"
"I came straight here." He told her.
She was becoming more worried by the moment but tried not to show it. Not only was he not dressed at all properly for the season he didn't have a bag with him either, not even a backpack that might hold a change of clothes. She wondered how he had gotten here as he was clearly too young to drive and the nearest airport was at least seventy miles away. She supposed he could have come in on the bus, but she was pretty sure the last one of the day, as it was the only one of the day, had arrived at least three hours ago. She was concerned about how long he had been roving around outside in the cold since it was well past five now. "I think we better remedy that. What do you like to eat?"
That threw him. "Um? I'm not picky." That must be a family trait. At least it made feeding him easier.
"How about a chicken sandwich?" She suggested, thinking that was generic enough to be tempting to nearly anyone. He nodded and she led him back through the house to the kitchen. He was looking around quietly as she got the food together quickly, making him a large sandwich as she asked him what he liked on it. He was entirely polite, although she could tell he was trying to work out just who she was and why she was here. But she wasn't about to add worry to whatever he was already concerned about by springing on him that his father had remarried and he had a stepmother. Within three minutes she had him sitting at the island with the sandwich, a sliced apple, and a bag of chips as she looked him over. Going to get him a drink, and hoping he wouldn't mind bottled water, she grabbed one for each of them out of the fridge. "Do you have a bag with you?" She asked, clearly knowing the answer, but searching for more information.
"No." He said and she raised an eyebrow in question.
"How about a coat?" He shook his head and she set the bottle down beside him as she watched him with obvious concern. He tried to fake it for a few moments as she did and finally she broke the silence. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes." He said at once, too fast, and she sent him a look that told him she wasn't fooled. He let his eyes wander over the room again. "I just need to see him. When will he be back?"
She agreed that he did indeed need to see his father as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Let me get him." She texted Gold, although he hated when she did it, telling her it was an annoying way to communicate. She thought he disliked being unable to read a person's voice and body language, which was how he got most of his information. Had he been at the shop she would have called there, but she knew well enough he had gone down to the docks to 'straighten something out', which meant he was no doubt squabbling with someone. That, in turn, meant he wouldn't answer his phone if it rang, but he might look at the screen if he had a moment. Sure enough, a few seconds later her phone rang. She picked it up, smiling at Bae when he glanced up from his food and stepped out into the living room. She had no idea what his reaction to this would be and if it were negative didn't want his son to hear it.
"Hello?"
"What have I said about texting?" He asked in annoyance, and she heard the wind blowing in the background along with muffled cry of gulls. She guessed he had made it to the docks. "Why do I need to come back home?"
"You have a visitor here." She replied calmly. "He's rather eager to see you, although I think I have him entertained with lunch for the moment."
"What visitor?" He asked distractedly, before moving the phone away and speaking to someone else. "I think I was clear about our rental agreement. Either you have the rent or you don't. Which is it?" There was a reply and he started to answer when she broke in. This was clearly more important than getting the rent from someone, no matter how obsessed he was with the docks right now.
"Russell, you need to leave that poor person alone and come back to the house now."
Gold was impatient with her interruption. "Dearie, I am busy, tell whoever it is to wait. If they can't send them on their way-"
"Your son is here." She told him.
That stopped him dead in his tracks. There was a significant, confused pause. "What?"
"Your son is here, sitting in the kitchen." She repeated, moving closer to the front door so she wouldn't be overheard by the boy. There was no need to worry him more than she guessed he already was. "And he doesn't have a coat or a bag. He's also eating like he's never seen food before. He's not hurt but I think something is wrong."
"I'll be there in five minutes." He said hurriedly before hanging up.
Shaking her head she went back to the kitchen to find nothing left of the sandwich save a few crumbs, an empty chip bag, and only one slice of apple. Without missing a beat she went to the fridge and began making him a second sandwich. He was about to protest the effort when she smiled at him and set it quickly in front of him. "Oh go on. I remember being a teenager. I was never full either."
"Thank you."
"No worries." She answered as she sat down across from him and opened her own water. "Your dad's on his way back."
He watched her curiously as he took another bite. When he swallowed he asked her a question. "Are you from Australia?"
"Right you are, mate." She said, letting her accent get truly thick. He smiled at her for that, relaxing a little more and she smiled back. She was really trying to set him at ease with her, and thought it might be working. "I hale from Brisbane."
"How did you end up here?"
"That's a bit of a story." She said after she took a sip of her water. "I'll tell you some other time, yah?"
"I'd like that." He answered. "How do you know my dad?"
"We're friends." She told him, which was the god's honest truth. "I work at the library. He was one of the council members that hired me." She smiled. "That's how we met a few years ago."
"Oh." He said, satisfied with that answer. "I like to read. What's your favorite book?"
She hummed as she thought about that seriously. "What a hard question to ask a librarian." He smiled a little at that as he ate. "I don't know if it's my favorite, but I really like The Hobbit."
He smiled a little. "I like that one too. Have you read The Lord of the Rings?"
"Have I read Lord of the Rings?" She asked with mock outrage. "How could you even ask that?"
He laughed at that, a soft, true sound and she smiled at him again. "Thank you for the sandwich."
"It was no trouble." She assured him. "Is that sandwich enough? There's plenty more food."
"This is enough." He told her after he swallowed, nearly done with the second sandwich in the space of only a few minutes.
"I promise to make something far more interesting than sandwiches for dinner." She told him with a smile. "What kinds of things do you like to eat specifically? I was going to make spaghetti tonight, but if you don't like it I can cook something else."
He was now trying to work out why she would be here for dinner too, but started to answer. "I like it-" right then they both heard the front door open and close in a rush. They both looked over and she saw Gold hurrying in. It was the first time she had ever seen him look openly worried or frazzled.
His eyes locked on his son at once. "Bae, what are you doing here? What happened?"
"I just wanted to visit you." He said at once.
Gold relaxed ever so slightly, seeing the boy was in one piece, and he moved forward quickly. Bae got up and hugged him at once, which Gold returned, but caused even more concern to flood his face when the teen held onto him tightly. He looked at her sharply and she made a motion of ignorance as he moved his hand to the back of his son's head comfortingly. From what he told her, which wasn't much really, Bae was extremely independent. The clinging seemed to be out of character from what Russell told her about him, but it had been a long time since they had seen one another. Gold hugged him tighter for a moment, rubbing his hand over his son's back reassuringly, before holding him away a bit. "Bae, what's going on? What are you really doing here?"
"Can I stay here?" He asked at once.
"Stay?"
"Please, papa?" Bae asked, holding real anxiety back, although it was seeping through all the same. "I want to stay with you."
Gold rubbed his back again to calm him and it was like she was seeing a whole different person, the person that had been so nice to her when she was sick. He was making no effort to hide that he cared right now. "Bae, you need to tell me what's going on."
Behind the teen's back she mouthed to him frantically. "Tell him he can stay!" Gold's eyes flickered in surprise at her silent insistence. She didn't know why he was startled. The teen was clearly upset over something and if whatever it was brought him all the way here she didn't think it would be smart to send him away. Doing something this extreme and then returning him to whatever had upset him so much would only send him running again.
"Tell me what's going on." Gold insisted, not committing to it. She wondered why and then realized if it were an option the boy would already be here. He had told her Bae's mother had custody of him.
"Killian is horrible!" He burst out.
Gold's whole expression darkened in a flash and she wondered who that was. "What?"
Bae let him go and stepped back, his expression fully rebellious. "I'm not living with him anymore even if you send me back-"
"I never said I was sending you back." Gold told him, grabbing one of Bae's shoulders and squeezing it. "Calm down." The boy took a breath and nodded. "Now, one thing at a time. Did he hurt you?"
"No, he didn't hurt me." The murderous glint in Gold's eyes vanished, or at least dimmed marginally. "He's just the biggest arse-"
"Language." Gold said at once and Bae blew out a breath.
"Sorry, papa." Gold simply raised an eyebrow and Bae continued. "And I hate boarding school."
Utter confusion filled his face. "Boarding school? What do you mean boarding school?"
"Mom sent me last term. Edinburg."
The anger was back in an instant. "She sent you without telling me? You weren't at home?"
"No." Bae confirmed. "And I thought you knew so I didn't say anything when we talked, but then Mom wrote and told me you wanted me there, and I knew you didn't really after you always went on about how much you hated it when you went, so I decided to leave."
She couldn't help but cut in. "You left? Does anyone know you're here?"
Gold glanced up at her then back at his son. "No." Bae admitted reluctantly.
"You left from Edinberg without telling anyone?" Russell asked. "How did you get here?"
"A plane, and a few taxis, and then the bus." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a passport, a few twenties, a used boarding pass, and a crumpled envelope. She just caught sight of the address of the house from where she was and assumed it must have been from a letter Gold had sent to him. That was how he had found his way here.
"You flew here by yourself?" Gold nearly shouted. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"
"You do it all the time." Bae said.
"I'm not thirteen!" Gold snapped angrily. "That was incredibly stupid, Bae!"
"But it was awful-"
"This was not the way to handle it!" Gold was really yelling now, and she knew it was only because he was nearly scared out of his mind. "Why didn't you just call me?"
She cut in, scrambling around the island toward them. "Yelling won't help." She said calmly, trying to sooth his nerves. Gold turned his rage on her in an instant but she wasn't moved by his glare. "You need to call his mother." She told him, ignoring whatever bad blood was between them for the moment. There was Bae to consider, as well as a mother with no idea where her son was. "She's probably out of her head with worry."
Gold took a calming breath, really trying to gain hold of his temper, which was set off from the fear. "Yes, we do."
"She won't have noticed." Bae told him.
Gold took him by the shoulder and led him gently toward his office. She trailed after them, figuring she was already involved so she might as well keep up to speed. "I rather think she will have."
"No, really, she hasn't." He insisted. "She's gone off to Spain, or Portugal, or something. She hasn't answered the phone in weeks."
She saw Gold clench his jaw at that, but refrained from saying anything negative about his son's mother in front of him. "We're calling her anyway." Gold said after a moment. "Not to mention your school and most likely the police."
"The police?" Bae asked.
"I have no doubt the school has filed a missing person report. How long ago did you leave?"
"I don't know, the time keeps changing."
"Guess." His father insisted as they got to his office.
"Maybe two days ago." Bae told him. Gold said nothing and picked up the phone. He dialed a number from memory and she stood leaning into the doorframe as Bae watched without much interest. Gold was silent, his eyes on his son as the phone rang for well over three minutes. When it became more than apparent there would be no answer he hung up and Bae watched him. "I told you." He said. "She never answers."
Once again Gold made no comment and started making a rapid series of calls all over Scotland. After speaking to the head of Bae's school, the police, and his lawyer because apparently he had one to represent him on top of having his own law degree, he looked exhausted, but not unhappy. She had noticed about halfway through his call with the police department that some idea had struck pleasantly in his head. She could only assume he had thought of something sneaky, but didn't ask about it. She was actually fairly surprised with how short the call with his lawyer was until the end when he told whoever was on the other line that he would call them again in the morning. He must not want to concern Bae with it and when he hung up the phone she looked at him. Gold was completely focused on his son and she understood.
Without a word she withdrew to let them catch up and went to go make dinner. His son may have just eaten two sandwiches but if she recalled her adolescence correctly between the ages of twelve and eighteen one was never actually full, simply less hungry after eating. As she began to get things out, adjusting how much she was making with barely a thought she supposed this was not the ideal time to bring up her bank account. That could no doubt wait at least a few days. Clearly Gold now had more important things to think about than their deal, and she now had a perfect excuse to neglect mentioning it.
Author Note: Sorry this took a couple of days. I had a huge paper to write for school and another one to take care of. I may not post again until Wednesday as the end of the semester is madness. I hope you guys liked this one!