Hello!

Final chapter... Hope you like it!

A little word for my reviewers: some of you asked me for music suggestions while reading this story. Let's say the quotes I used for the titles come from songs that inspired me to write this story. But most of it comes from a song I dind't quote here: it's Paparazzi, by Lady Gaga, and it's the song that actually made me want to write a story about desperate love. But you can also listen to Cocorosie, Regina Spektor, Lily Allen, songs that are great no matter what meaning you choose to give them.

Leave a review with your thoughts, comments, ideas for another story if you want... I'd love to hear from you!

Disclaimer: oh, so not mine.

Suppose I never, ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love

(Regina Spektor, Fidelity)

Somehow I find myself on Saturday evening wearing my mum's deep green cocktail dress, the right tights and shoes, the right make-up and lipstick – and with my curls straightened as much as humanly and magically possible.

I guess I have to thank Lana for all this because for my part, I am utterly incapable of putting one foot in front of the other tonight, let alone apply a straight line of eyeliner on my eyelids.

And to tell you the truth, I can barely recognize myself these last few days. Where did self-confident, intelligent, proud Rose go? I think that girl lost her swagger when Scorpius asked her to the Ball.

'Come on, brace yourself – pretend it's just going to be like last year's Ball,' a little voice whispers in my hear.

No, wait – it's Lana. Lana who helped me out with getting ready all afternoon, Lana who is now wearing a stunning purple strapless gown, her hair cascading in loose waves down her back, her eyes expanded to twice their size by mascara and eyeliner.

'Lana… you look beautiful,' I say, literally gaping at her.

'Thanks,' she smiles knowingly. 'You don't look bad yourself.'

'If I do look bad, you're the only one to blame, because I really don't have anything to do with the result.'

She puts her hands on my shoulders and locks eyes with me.

'Rose, you look beautiful. Now, be yourself tonight: be confident and sarcastic, be shiny and happy. Be the Rose both Scorpius and I love, and maybe he'll get to love you a little differently than he already does…'

I lower my gaze and sigh. Tonight's the night I'm going to try and make him see the other Rose, the one that is in love with him. It's all or nothing, and then – I'll finally have the answer.

'Let's go now,' Lana pushes me gently to the staircase. 'Our dates are waiting for us.'

As we walk down the stairs to the Common Room, I see that the Room is already crowded with people, all dressed up and excited about the coming Ball. But my eyes don't linger on the eager faces and sophisticated hairdoes, and they immediately scan the Room for Scorpius. Behind me, I can feel Lana doing the same to locate Jake, who's come all the way from the Ravenclaw Tower to pick her up.

And then I see him when he turns his head to look at me. Everthing happens as if in slow motion – and I swear, if my heart wasn't beating so fast, I would think I'm sitting in a cinema watching a film.

He's wearing deep green dress robes lined with silver, just like most of the boys around him – only he looks like a model in them and all the other boys look like they're wearing their mums' dressing gowns. He's made visible efforts to tame his unruly, dirty-blond hair – and my heart gives a fond leap at the thought that maybe – just maybe – he's done this for me.

As a big grin expands on my face, I rush down the stairs and throw myself in his arms, a reaction I've had hundreds of times before, and he hugs me, and we laugh together like we used to. When I eventually let go of him and he lets go of me, I turn and see Lana looking at us with a knowing smile.

The moment before Hugo's Halloween party a few months ago flashes in my head. Remember what happened during that fateful night? It had started like this one, and it had ended with me falling in love with Scorpius.

I can't help but feel this could be a good sign.

Lana and Jake have found each other too and they stand next to us holding hands.

'Hello, Scorpius,' Lana says, her piercing eyes obviously trying to read Scorpius's mind.

'Hello, Lana. Hi, Jake,' Scorpius answers smiling politely, and of course he doesn't let anything slip in front of the happy couple.

'Let's go upstairs then,' Lana says, and with a frustrated shrug she leads the way out of the Common Room, Jake Jerrod following her.

Scorpius and I exchange a glance.

'Indeed, I don't see why everybody lingers here,' he says.

'… when there's champagne waiting for us in the Great Hall,' I add.

'Warm champagne isn't good,' Scorpius raises an eyebrow.

I burst out laughing.

'Come on, Scorp, let's go get drunk!'

He laughs as well and takes my hand. His palm is warm and soft and almost covers my hand when it holds it, making me feel both tiny and safe.

And we leave the Slytherin Common Room together for our last Yule Ball at Hogwarts.

The Great Hall is more magnificent than ever, all decorated for Christmas. The space is illuminated by thousands and thousands of candles floating from the Enchanted Ceiling to the tables, and the walls are covered in red, green, gold and silver lights and decorations.

The Great Hall looks like this every year for the Yule Ball. But this year it seems even more impressive, maybe because it's the last time we'll see it like this. My heart gives a little twinge of nostalgia at the thought: it's my last year at Hogwarts, and I only seem to realise that now.

The thought stirs new emotions in me and I involuntarily squeeze Scorpius's hand. He responds by giving my fingers a light pressure, which meaning is something between it's going to be alright and I feel the same way too. It reassures me that we can still be this connected, that we can still share this subtle melancholy at the thought of our years at Hogwarts. It feels like an oath of friendship, and it touches me more than ever.

The Tables are ready for the Yule Ball feast, set according to our years and not according to our Houses. Every year, just for the Yule Ball, we're supposed to forget about Houses rivalries and share a dinner and a party with the people of our year, no matter whether they are Slytherins, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs. This was McGonagall's idea when the school reopened after the War. She once said in a speech that she believed the very existence of different Houses at Hogwarts was the root of everything that happened back then. But she also said people were so attached to their Houses, they wouldn't understand if this tradition was thrown away and their children wouldn't get to be in the same Houses as their parents (well, see how this turned out for me – the fact that I was Sorted in Slytherin almost cut me out of my family – it would never have happened if there weren't Houses to be Sorted in in the first place). First, second and third-years are not allowed to participate in the Ball, so there are only four tables, the same as usual.

That is why Scorpius and I walk to the seventh year table, the one that stands in the middle of the Hall. I'm too focused on Scorpius to pay much attention to my surroundings, but I can literally feel hundreds of eyes following us, and it unnerves me even more.

We find two free sits at the table and I sit down nervously next to Scorpius. He gives me a lopsided little smile, and I know it's supposed to comfort me, but I can barely feel my legs right now, and the vision of his stunning beauty doesn't help me at all.

That's when I notice who's sitting next to us.

Opposite Scorpius and I are Lana and Jake Jerrod, and it makes me feel better to have them near in such a stressful moment. Next to me sits Alejandro Garcia, and his face falls slightly when he sees me with Scorpius, and I can't help but throw him an apologetic glance before his date, Emilie Duchateau, puts her hand on his forearm and brings him back to their conversation.

And next to Jake Jerrod is – Katrina Nilkovitch.

My whole body freezes as I feel mad hatred erupt in my stomach. There she is, that bitch who has evaded me for weeks now. Tonight she dares show up and sit so close to me and Scorpius.

Lana and I exchange a quick glance, which meaning is unmistakably: if Nilkovitch dares so much as bat her lashes for Scorpius, we'll both hex her arse off faster than she needs to put on that cheap fishnet stockings on.

Scorpius, on the other hand, frowns a little when he sees her, but otherwise doesn't display the slightest emotion. Whether he'd like to hex her too or not doesn't show on his face at all. I wish I could be as under control as he is. It would look far more dignified than the current look on my face, distorted by boiling anger.

Dinner appears in the golden plates and everybody starts taking food and eat it. I know I won't be able to eat anything with Nilkovitch's ugly face so close to me, so I throw a Veil Charm in her direction just so as to spare me the vision of her while I eat.

Scorpius notices and asks nonchalantly, leaning towards me:

'What was that for?'

'I need to look only at nice things when I eat, especially when the food is this delicious.'

'I agree,' he says, digging his way through the small mountain of mashed potatoes sitting in his plate.

After the feast, McGonagall sits up at the Professors table.

The Great Hall falls silent almost instantly.

'Dear students,' she starts her speech, 'most of you here have already heard this speech at least once. Therefore, there is barely any need for me to remind you what the Yule Ball is about. But for the fourth-years who have joined the Ball tonight, I'd like to state the meaning of this event in one word: tolerance. Tonight, you'll spend an evening with all the students of your year, not of your House. Tonight, you'll learn that the annoying Ravenclaw that always answers the questions in class is, in fact, very fun to be around. That the timid Hufflepuff in Herbology class is the one who will dance on the tables later tonight. That the brave Gryffindor Quidditch player can't hold his champagne. And that the cold Slytherin has, in fact, a beating heart like you and me. Tonight, you have only one assignment: look behind the appearances, and just be yourself. Let the Yule Ball begin!'

I have barely the time to process what McGonagall just said. It was something about me having a heart like any other person, and me being myself tonight – was this speech directly intented for me?

I open my mouth to share my thoughts about our headmistress's speech with Scorpius, when I feel the table move. Actually, all the tables were moving back to the walls, leaving a huge empty space in the middle of the Hall: the dancefloor.

Oh, dear Merlin. Don't tell me we're going to have to dance – it's too soon, I'm not prepared for this.

The first notes of something that reminds me of a waltz start playing. I only notice now that a group of musicians entered the Great Hall while McGonagall was speaking.

The dancefloor remains desperately empty for what feels like eternity. It seems that nobody wants to be the first to open the Ball. Neither do I, and I just stare at the dancefloor, transfixed.

Until I am vaguely aware of Scorpius sitting up and holding out his hand for me.

Scorpius, I love you, but don't do this to me.

I look up at him and I throw him a pleading glare. He just shrugs my lack of dancing mood off and flashes me a mischievous grin. Numbed out by stage fright, my mind totally blank, I give him my hand and we walk forward on the dancefloor.

Scorpius turns to face me then. His hand slides from my shoulder to my waist, and he delicately takes my fingers in his. I look up at him, and he's towering over me, and it makes me feel tiny again. His hand nestles in the small of my back and he gently presses me against him.

It leaves me breathless.

I've been that close to him before. Many times, and especially one night when we danced like this, months ago.

The night I fell in love with him.

Only this time, I'm not drunk, I'm not desperately sad, I'm just staring at him, transfixed, trying to get my brain to work again, trying to find what my next move will be.

I can't hear a single note of music. I feel like all my senses are numb, the only thing remaining on earth is Scorpius – his smell, his touch, the sound of his light breathing.

We dance twice around the dancefloor before other couples join us. Just like when we entered the Great Hall earlier, I am vaguely aware that all the eyes are on Scorpius and me. In a wirl of music and silhouettes I catch Lana's eye and she winks at me. I also see Alejandro holding his date and dancing around us. I don't see Nilkovitch and that ought to disturb me a little.

But right now it doesn't matter that much. I am dancing in Scorpius's arms, and he holds me gently yet tighly enough so I won't collapse on the floor – something I've been threatening to do since we started dancing. I don't dare look at him, my expression would betray too much of my emotions. I just can't seem to relax, and I wonder if I'll ever find the courage to tell Scorpius that, in fact, I…

A short pause, and the musicians start playing another song.

A song that sounds very, very familiar.

At the sound of it, Scorpius slows our dance down and listens up, recognizing it.

I've been really trying, baby
Trying to hold back this feeling for so long

I freeze in his arms as well.

Fuck.

Did they really need to play a song that both reminds us of so many things?

But then Scorpius bends towards me gently, and he presses his cheek on mine, breathing in my hair. My rational self wonders what's going on, but my infatuated self lets the little hair on the back of my neck stand on end. My heart, already beating fast, threatens to break records. He is so close to me, the smell of his skin is so attractive, that I feel the need to come even closer to him and nest my face between his shoulder and his neck.

This is irrational, I know. But when the one you've been secretly in love with gently presses you against him, you let go of all your good reasons to stay collected and dive into the moment for as long as you can.

And that's why I tell him:

'I've been really trying, Scorpius.'

For a moment, he doesn't say a word, and I wonder if he's understood me – if he's heard what I said at all.

'I've been trying to hold it back, but now I know I can't do it anymore.'

He keeps dancing, his cheek against mine, still not responding, and I begin to tremble in his arms.

But then he says:

'Go on.'

I take it as a good sign that he should ask me to keep talking, so I do.

'I… I wish it hadn't had happened, you know? But, Scorpius, you're my favourite person in the world, and I've always loved you more than anyone else, and… for a few months now… I've loved you more than even I used to.'

And he still doesn't react. Although I feel his body tense slightly at my last words.

Then he gently lets go of my hand and puts both his hands on my shoulders, takes a step back and looks at me.

I've never seen his face look like this before.

He looks… stunned.

And then I realise, all this time, I was hoping that my declaration wouldn't come as a complete surprise for him. But apparently, it does.

'I… I'd like a glass of champagne,' is all I can say, looking away from him, my eyes cast downwards, hoping this will erase the words I said before.

He lets go of my shoulders, but he puts his fingers under my chin, gently raising my face until I'm forced to look at him. I don't know what expression my face has taken, but at its sight, he looks distressed and hurt. Funny, because that's exactly how I feel.

'Rose, I…' he just whispers.

But it doesn't change anything. I just can't look at him right now.

He looks away, and then walks to the tables to get me a glass of champagne.

How ridiculous. Champagne isn't what I need to drink right now. Poison would be a better idea. I stay in the middle of the dancefloor, oblivious of the couples swirling around me. I have a vague idea of how pathetic I must look, but I really couldn't care less.

But Scorpius isn't back with the glass I asked him to get for me, and I start looking around for him. The only thing worse than having to confront him is having him run away when I have my back turned.

But he hasn't run away. He's still near the table, a glass of champagne in his hand, talking to Katrina Nilkovitch.

I'm not thinking about anything. Instinctively, I walk up to them, and I hear Lana's voice calling me from behind.

'Rose!'

'NO!' I yell back at her in an attempt to stop her. But she still follows me until I stop in front of Scorpius and Katrina.

The look I throw Katrina is so full of hatred I wonder how it doesn't kill her. She recoils slightly under my glare though, just like a slutty little snake would do.

The look I throw Scorpius… I don't know what it feels like, but Scorpius tries to say something to defend himself, and I don't want to hear him explain or lie. I just smack the glass of champagne off his hand, and the crystal crashes on the floor, exploding in thousands of sparkling bits, shiny as teardrops.

The last person I look at is Lana, and she nods at once.

'Got it,' she says.

She knows her duty is to hex Nilkovitch and she'll do it, as I run away from the scene, consumed by jealousy, shame and despair.

I hear Scorpius call after me, but I keep running, until the Great Hall is far away behind me, until the music stops, until the shining candles and warm light of the Hall are only a vague memory.

'Rose?'

I don't know how long I've been sitting on the couch of the Common Room, wrapped in my tartan rug, my beautiful cocktail dress crumpled, looking at the fire through a blur of tears. My mind has gone completely blank and only the pain remains.

Scorpius's voice echoes in my ears like an old memory of happier times. I shake my head, trying to make the voice go away. There's no point in remembering it now.

'Rose!'

I let out a cry of surprise. Someone is sitting next to me on the formerly empty couch, and I didn't hear him enter the Common Room or sit there.

Through my tears I see Scorpius's upset face. Scorpius never looks upset, or distressed, or devastated. The times when he looked half as bad as he does now are very few, and I've always been the only witness of them: when his father once told him he didn't make him proud, when my father told me he would never, ever accept Scorpius no matter how important he was for me. And these were good reasons for teenagers to be upset. But now? What's the matter? Why is he even here, instead of dancing with Nilkovitch upstairs? Maybe Lana hexed her so bad she sprouted chicken wings where her arms were supposed to be?

So I ask him, trying to make my voice sound cold when actually it only comes out trembling and frail:

'Why are you here?'

My question seems to upset him even more. He rubs his face with his hands and shakes his head.

'Rose… Why did you leave?'

I feel my jaw drop several inches.

'You don't know? You… you were talking to her, and you left me in the middle of the dancefloor… and… and…'

I'm so upset my words get stuck in my throat and the tears spill from my eyes again. Scorpius makes a move to come closer to me but I stop him. I'm getting irrational again. As soon as my throat opens I yell at him:

'… and you didn't say anything when I told you I was in love with you!'

Instead of recoiling on the couch as I expect him to do, he sits up, his beautiful face contorted with pain and anger, and he yells back:

'Nilkovitch cornered me, OK? She's been trying to 'talk' to me since that night at the Astronomy Tower, and I've always rejected her, but tonight I just didn't want to make a scene in front of the entire school on the Yule Ball! And I was telling her to leave me alone because I wanted to be with you, Rose!'

He grabs my shoulders and dives his dark, dangerous grey eyes into mine. I feel a chill that only has very little to do with fear run down my spine as he goes on: 'I have nothing to do with her, do you understand that, for Merlin's sake? Fuck, Rose, will you stop being jealous and moody and crazy and finally understand that I love you?'

We both stop breathing at the sound of his last words, as if we were both surprised by their meaning.

We stare at each other for a second in stunned silence, mouths gaping slightly. And then I say under my breath:

'You love me?'

'I love you, Rose,' he admits, saying the words carefully in the same hushed tone I said mine. 'I'm in love with you, and how could I not be? Why would the last few months have been so devastating otherwise? I can't live without you, I've never learnt how to do it and I don't want to. You're my favourite person in the whole world, you crazy, hysterical, sarcastic, passionate, beautiful Rose. And lately, well… maybe it's called growing up, or maybe it's called growing nuts, but I can't picture being friends with you anymore… I want to be more to you than your best friend.'

I stare at him and for once my face doesn't betray the din of my heart.

'Is that why you've kept pushing me away?'

'I have kept pushing you away? You have!'

'I was scared, Scorpius!' my voice regains strength in the argument, 'we were always rule breakers, we already were before we met each other, and the only rule I never, ever wanted to break was the rule of our friendship! And I thought that's what you wanted, too! I couldn't imagine not having you in my life anymore, that's why I acted like this.'

'I was scared too, Rose,' he says, calmer than I am. 'I'm still scared. But it's not like we have a choice, do we? We are so made for each other.'

He shrugs and finally, a tiny, mischievous sparkle glints in his eyes. And then I know everything is forgiven, everything that needed to be said has been said, and there's only one thing left to do.

I throw myself in his arms and I kiss him. He laughs against my lips, a laugh of spotless, complete happiness, and then he kisses me back.

And I know now all the pain was worth it. Two people like us can't just get together in an easy way. The love stories they write about in the books we've always read are not about regular people. They're about love that never comes easily, but when it finally comes, it's simpler, hotter, better than in any of our fantasies.

Somehow it doesn't surprise me that I've kissed Scorpius Malfoy. I even wonder how I have been so blind as to not know from the start I'd never want my first kiss from anyone else but him. Maybe my mum knew it, but she never told me, and she was probably right not to.

So I guess we really are rule breakers to our core. We had only one rule left unbroken, the tacit rule of friendship, and we broke it as soon as we could. But can you blame us? As Scorpius said, we are so made for each other.

THE END.