The Three of Wands, Upright: Dreams that turn into reality through circumstance and being in the right place at the right time. Plans and ventures that are moving ahead.
More and more, Shepard found herself craving silence. Loud noises caused her heart to clench, like when she listened to weapon training outside Alliance headquarters. But volume alone didn't cause her wish for silence. There were times she just wanted the peace and quiet silence brought. Sometimes at home, she'd pretend to go over a datapad but actually watch Garrus work out, doing the turian versions of push-ups and sit-ups. She could silent watch him work for hours.
And almost every morning, standing in the crowded line waiting to pick up her and Garrus' food rations for the day she felt the need for quiet. Shepard knew she should be talking to people in line, trying to raise morale, and most days she forced herself to do just that. But every so often her fingers pressed the keys turning off her implant, allowing her to be bathed in silence.
She had developed a guilty pleasure, being able to look at the world without sound. A world without people calling her name, asking for favors. No omni-tool beeping, letting her know she had yet another message, though it was smarter than she'd care to admit. Whenever her hearing implant was turned off, her omni-tool flashed once when she had a message, instead of making a noise. That's what she got for overclocking it like she had.
As she walked towards the conference room in Alliance Headquarters, Shepard saw people crowded inside, standing room only. She knew the people there would want to talk to her and be heard, so with an inaudible sigh, Shepard flipped her implants back on, trying not to hunch her shoulders as noise filled her world again.
Shepard arrived too late to get a seat at the conference table, so she stood in the back, listening to the excited voices of the people around her. Almost everyone she had passed in Alliance Headquarters had a smile on their face. The messages she'd received from Garrus told her the turian camp was in much the same state. Today was a long ways coming.
The vid screen on the wall showed a live cam of the Charon relay. A repair ship docked next to the relay and two worker pods appeared out of the open cargo hold. She held her breath as the worker pods flew closer to a large piece of debris.
Alliance command, this is the Erdenet. Repair on the Charon relay has officially begun.
The crowd erupted and for once Shepard didn't want to turn off her implant. She leaned against the wall and watched the officers around her congratulate each other. More than one person slapped her on the back and wanted to shake her hand. Relief bubbled up through her throat, and she let out a small laugh. Finally.
For five months, people across the galaxy had been away from their homes, with no idea if the relays would ever work again. So much faith had been placed in the Crucible scientists, relying only on their knowledge of what little Prothean technology they had. But the fix wouldn't happen overnight. They believed a month of repairs were needed before everyone who helped defeat the Reapers would finally have the chance to go home.
Of course, not every relay would be fixed right away. Of the fifty-four relays, only thirty-seven were in systems that had enough resources and technical experts. The other seventeen would have to wait. Once the relays were confirmed working, volunteer crews would start the journeys out towards those relays. Shepard's gratitude towards those volunteers knew no bounds; they would end up travelling for one to three years to reach the orphaned relays. But eventually, the galaxy would recover.
The main event and excitement over, the conference room started to clear out. Shepard took advantage and sat down at the table as she opened her omni-tool. Bringing up the schematics for the relays, she compared them to what she saw on the vid screen. A pang of jealousy knotted in her stomach, watching the workers move debris and set up a temporary dry dock for repairs. Those workers, engineers, most of them, were doing exactly what Shepard herself would love to be doing. Instead of arguing with politicians and haggling over resources, they were fixing things, making things right. Some said she fixed things in her own way, but it wasn't the same. It simply didn't compare to the feeling of a tool in her hand and the knowledge how to make something work.
Some day, Shepard told herself wistfully. Some day.
The conference room door opened and Lieutenant Vega walked in, giving Shepard a crisp salute before leaning against the conference table. Shepard had to stifle a chuckle. Whoever James was working under at the moment apparently didn't have the same tolerance for changes to the uniform that she did.
"Have I ever seen you in a regular BDU before, James?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
James rolled his eyes. "I'm working security over by the docking bays. The CO over there is big on formalities."
"Poor baby," Shepard said, putting her omni-tool away. She stood up, leaning forward on her hands. "Up for walking and talking?"
"Always," James said, following Shepard out of the door. They walked in silence through the hallways of Alliance Headquarters until they reached outside. "So what's this about?"
"Cortez didn't fill you in?" Shepard asked, surprised. "Good man, Cortez."
"Secrets, secrets are no fun, secrets, secrets hurt someone," James muttered under his breath. "I gave him my last bottle of Mescal, Lola."
"And by give, do you actually mean it is no longer in your possession or you let him have a shot?" Shepard asked.
"A double," James said, sounding indignant as they walked towards the back of Headquarters. "He owes me. So Cortez knows why you want to see me but I don't? Lola, I'm hurt."
"Somehow I think you'll survive, James," Shepard said, sitting down on one of the benches.
"Come on, I've a better idea. When was the last time you and I had a dance?" James asked.
Shepard shook her head, and James' shoulders drooped slightly. "Let's talk first," Shepard said.
"Talk and dance? Mmm? You know you wanna," James said, shifting his weight from the one foot to the other.
Shepard patted the space next to her. "Maybe after we discuss the classified information that I would very much like to talk to you about."
The word classified finally got James' attention and he sat down obediently. "I'm listening."
"Going on a mission, James," Shepard said. "And I've got a proposition for you." Shepard stretched out her legs in front of her, enjoying the sun that broke through the cloud coverage for once. Around them, other members of the Alliance took advantage of the sun as well, spread out on benches like she and James or lounging on the grass. "I've looked into a few things and Alliance Brass doesn't believe that they'll be officially starting an N7 training class until 2189 at the earliest."
She watched James' reaction carefully. At the news, he leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. "Damn, that long? You sure?"
"Unfortunately," Shepard said. She was disappointed on James' behalf; she knew how much he was looking forward to becoming an N7 recruit. Thankfully, she had an option for him. "However…" James perked up immediately at the word. "If you want, I've been given permission to become your mentor during our mission and basically give you the equivalent of N1 training."
"Really?" James asked, his smile wide. "That would be, damn, Lola, you know exactly-"
"This won't be a picnic, James," Shepard said. "I would be doing you absolutely no favors if I took things easy on you."
"I wouldn't want you to," James said at once. "No fun in that."
"You'll be pulling triple duty if you agree," Shepard said seriously. "You'll be pulling squad duty, running the armory-"
"Yeah, but that's with Cortez," James interrupted.
Shepard held up her hand and James immediately went quiet. "Not this tour," Shepard said. "Cortez is going to splitting his time between flying the shuttle and training as an XO." Without EDI's help by the end of the war, Shepard would have drowned in paperwork. Not this tour. Shepard quite liked the idea of keeping her sanity, and Cortez offered the most practical choice to help with the details. Thanks to a promotion, at Lieutenant Commander, Cortez would be the next highest ranking officer on the Normandy and had expressed an interest in the position down the road. This pleased her; she and Cortez worked well together. And she liked the idea of training someone, even though technically she only held the position of the XO of the Normandy for a couple of days before given command of the ship itself.
"Yeah? Good for Cortez," James said. "Be weird thinking of him as my boss, but he'll do a good job."
"Glad to see you approve," Shepard said with a laugh. "So if you accept, you'll be a very busy man, James."
"If I accept," he scoffed. "Of course I accept."
"Let's go over the terms first, Lieutenant," Shepard said, putting a bit of an edge to her voice. Over the six months they had worked together, she had given James a great deal of leeway simply because she liked the kid. But if she was going to help train him into a formidable N7 candidate, she needed to stop cutting him any slack. "When you are training with me, you will only be allowed to wear a regulation uniform. And during training, there will be absolutely no more using the name 'Lola,' understood? You will address me only by 'Commander' or 'Sir.'"
James sat a little straighter next to her. "Yes, sir," he answered immediately.
"Then welcome aboard," Shepard said, holding out her hand. James shook it eagerly. Shepard opened her omni-tool and sent him the important files for the mission. "Here are the files. Start look everything over and relays willing, we'll be leaving in a month."
"Sounds good," James said.
Shepard jumped off of the bench and looked at James. There was a glint in his eyes that she recognized. He looked ready to kick some ass, something Shepard had no intention of letting him do at the moment. With a grin that might be described as slightly feral, Shepard asked, "Now how about that dance?"
"We're going to be late," Shepard said, slipping her hand into Garrus'. Their meeting with Wrex and the Primarch took a bit too long for her tastes.
"We are not going to be late," Garrus said as they walked towards their prefab. Shepard rolled her eyes and and started walking a bit faster. Being the last to arrive at Gabby and Ken's wedding was the last thing she wanted.
"You ever been to a human ceremony before?" Shepard asked suddenly.
Garrus nodded. "Back on the Citadel, maybe a year after I joined C-Sec. An officer I was friends with got married. Even got invited to the…" Garrus stopped, his mandibles fluttering in thought. "I can't remember the name. The party to celebrate being single."
"Bachelor party," Shepard offered.
"Yes, exactly," Garrus said as they started walking again. "I just remember lots of booze and strippers."
"Sounds about right," Shepard said with a laugh as they turned a corner. They both immediately stopped. Someone was sitting on their doorstep and from this distance, Shepard couldn't see who it was. "Shit."
"Zooming in," Garrus said, touching his visor with a talon. He relaxed almost at once. "Kasumi."
"Kasumi?" Shepard asked. "Why the hell didn't she let herself inside?" But Shepard was pleased. She couldn't find the thief since she started putting her team together, so she asked Liara for help. Liara simply let it be known discreetly that Shepard was looking for Kasumi. Shepard smiled. Apparently the message worked.
"Hi, Shep!" Kasumi said cheerfully as soon as they were in earshot. "I couldn't get past your security. I have to admit, I'm impressed."
Garrus cleared his throat and Shepard laughed as she watched him push back his shoulders with pride. "You just had to say that, didn't you, Kasumi? Now I'm never going to hear the end of it from Garrus."
"You did the security?" Kasumi asked curiously.
"Massani and I did," Garrus said, with a nod. Shepard tried to keep the smile off her face and failed, hearing the pride in his sub-vocals.
"Very nice. I may have some opportunities for you down the road if this is what you can offer," Kasumi said. She looked over at Shepard. "So let's talk!"
Shepard unlocked the door to the prefab and went to the kitchen. "Anything to drink?" Shepard asked.
"Water would be lovely, Shep," Kasumi said, settling herself down on the sofa. She looked around and Shepard could tell Kasumi's eyes missed no details. "You have a bathroom."
"Seems to be the selling point," Shepard said, walking over and giving water bottles to Kasumi and Garrus. She sat down at the dining table, pushing her work station to the side. "So how's life been treating you, Kasumi?"
"Oh, don't say it like that," Kasumi said, picking off a piece of lint from her leggings. "I didn't abandon the Crucible scientists. They just didn't need me anymore."
"Uh-huh," Shepard said.
"I've been doing good things, Shep," Kasumi said. "You know how many people are trying to take advantage out there? I'm practically Robin Hood right now."
Shepard laughed at the confused look on Garrus' face. "Kasumi, the war is over. You did exactly what I asked of you and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."
Under her hood, Shepard could see Kasumi's eyes squint slightly. "So you didn't invite me here to yell at me."
"Of course not," Shepard said.
Kasumi tapped her fingers on her thigh, staring into the corner of the room. "You have a another mission," Kasumi said finally, leaning back on the couch. "Is it really just work, work, work with you people? Take a vacation sometime." She sighed, crossing one leg over the other and taking a sip of water. "Ooh, this is better than the water I get. Could I take one for the road?"
"If you want," Shepard said. "And yes, I have another mission." She sketched out the details, emphasizing how it was in no way a suicide mission or galactic war. "What do you think?"
Kasumi toed the linoleum with her boot. "It actually sounds kind of fun," she said begrudgingly. "Infiltrate all sorts of places and destroy things? That's a mission I can get behind." Kasumi folded her hands over her lap and sat up straight. "Alright, I'm in. When do we start?"
Shepard released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Kasumi was going to be a perfect addition. Shepard sent the thief the relevant information. "We'll be in touch and have a few meetings, but we'll be leaving in a month."
"Can I have my old space?" Kasumi asked eagerly.
"Poker table there now," Garrus said. "I think there'd be a mutiny if Shepard tried to take it out."
"You'll be in the Starboard Cargo, where Zaeed used to be," Shepard said. "It's where the Battlespace reporter stayed. Pretty nice space, actually."
"I wonder if she left anything behind," Kasumi said thoughtfully. "I'll have to do a thorough examination."
"Kasumi," Shepard warned.
"What?" Kasumi asked. "I'm just trying to be helpful. Now, I believe we're all going to be late for the wedding if you two don't hurry up and change. I'll wait outside."
"You may now kiss the bride," Engineer Adams said with a huge smile on his face.
Gabby threw her arms around Ken's neck and looked ready to jump into his arms. But Ken gently placed his hands on either side of Gabby's face and gave her a long look before they kissed. Shepard took Garrus' hand in hers and squeezed before the bride and groom broke apart.
Shepard stood up and clapped along with the rest of the small crowd. The moment the two engineers broke apart, Gabby placed her hands on her pregnant belly and announced, "I'm starving. Everyone go grab your MRE. Let's eat, please."
For a wedding without much time to plan and little resources, they had done a lovely job. They asked everyone to bring their own MRE for the reception dinner, since providing for the crowd of twenty would be impossible. For a surprise for Gabby and Ken, instead of presents no one had credits to give, Adams asked if everyone might be willing to donate some rations so that Yeoman Fitch could bake a small wedding cake - one tier, nothing fancy.
Shepard wore her black lace dress, not having much else appropriate to wear to a wedding. Next to her, Garrus wore his black and white suit. Shepard smiled to herself, thinking about dancing later on. Perhaps she might let Garrus persuade her for a dance. She couldn't think of a nicer discovery than learning just how enjoyable dancing could be when she was in Garrus' arms.
The guests were milling around the picnic area, picking up their MREs. Shepard smiled and waved to the entire engineering team from the Normandy, all standing together in a large group. Looking around, Shepard realized she recognized all the faces of the guests, leaving no one who might have been family for either Gabby or Ken.
Garrus grabbed their MREs and they sat down at a picnic table. Gabby, Ken, Tali, Adams and Chakwas quickly joined them. "What'd you bring me?" Gabby asked Ken as he sat down and put an MRE in front of her. "Beef Ravioli? You are officially my favorite husband."
"I'm going to take that as the compliment I know you meant it to be," Ken said, squeezing Gabby's shoulder.
Shepard unwrapped her own meal of Mediterranean Chicken, with sides of dried fruit and peanut butter and crackers, one of her favorites. She looked up to see Gabby staring at her. "Everything okay, Gabby?"
"You want to trade? The cheese for the peanut butter?" Gabby asked, batting her eyelashes.
Garrus held up his hand. "Gabby, do not come between this woman and her peanut butter," he said seriously.
"Normally, I'd agree with Garrus," Shepard said with a laugh. She handed Gabby the packet of peanut butter. "But it's not my wedding day."
"Best Commander ever," Gabby said, giving Shepard the tube of processed cheese. "Thank you so much."
Everyone ate in silence for a bit until Chakwas asked, "So what are quarian wedding ceremonies like?"
"A bit like this," Tali said. "A small gathering. The bride and groom sign the captain's log and then they start to share a cabin. We used to have really big ceremonies on Rannoch. Maybe we'll have them again someday."
"What about turian?" Gabby asked as she spread peanut butter over a tortilla shell she had taken from Ken's MRE. "I read they're really quiet or something, right?"
"Ah, yeah," Garrus said, opening up a package of dried pytmol. "The ceremony is self-uniting, so there isn't an officiant like you guys had. Each celebrant has three witnesses. They say some words to each other and the marriage starts."
"Celebrant?" Ken asked. "The bride and groom?"
"You know, turians actually never developed words for bride and groom," Garrus said, scratching the side of his neck. She could tell he was slightly uncomfortable talking about the ceremony. From her own research, she knew that turian weddings were truly private affairs. The three witnesses for each side were meant to be filled by people that would help support the marriage through the years. Parents were rarely present for the actual ceremony, but siblings were common. "Marriage has always been a civil act, never associated with religion. And since the sex of the partners don't matter, we never made different words for each person. When you get married, you're a celebrant."
"So only six people attend the wedding?" Adams asked. "I had a cousin once that had more than two hundred people at her wedding."
"Well, that's just for the ceremony," Garrus said. "Most couples throw a party afterward and invite practically everyone they know."
"That sounds more familiar," Chakwas said.
Another silence fell over the table and Shepard tried not to squirm in her seat as she felt the others glancing her way, probably wondering what her and Garrus' plans were. Shepard knew whenever the time came, she prefered the idea of a turian ceremony, the privacy aspect appealing to her.
But before she started thinking too much about a ceremony, she had to remind herself they hadn't actually discussed marriage. Every so often she wondered why Garrus hadn't proposed, like he said he would, just before they ran to the beam in London.
Maybe he had the right idea, Shepard thought, discreetly putting her hand on his knee, hidden, thanks to the picnic table. Garrus stilled and bumped his shoulder against hers as he continued to talk. They did have another mission to deal with. Probably best to dust off their old rule of not talking about the future.
"Is that cake?" Gabby asked, standing up as Fitch brought out a small layered cake. "Chocolate frosting?"
"Happy wedding day, Gabby and Ken," Adams said with a laugh.
"I love you people so much," Gabby said, grabbing Ken's hand. "Let's go shove cake in each other's face."
"Did she really just say that?" Garrus asked in a low voice. "I don't remember that part from the other wedding I went to."
"It's a really old tradition," Shepard said. "Not everyone follows it anymore."
The cake was delicious and afterward, music started playing. Shepard was content to sit back, holding Garrus' hand as they watched others dance. Adams and Chakwas seemed very friendly on the dance floor; Shepard wondered if there was a story there. Tali was dancing next to James and Ashley. And then the music changed.
The moment Shepard realized what song was playing she stood up. "Time to dance," she said, poking Garrus in the shoulder.
Garrus groaned and put his head in his hands. "I am never living this song down, am I?"
"Never, ever," Shepard said, trying to bounce in time with the beat. "Come on, Garrus, dance with me."
"I'm only doing this because I love you," Garrus muttered. Shepard smiled, feeling the warm rush she always did when he said those words. They rarely said them out loud. Shepard could count using both of her hands and still have a finger or two left over how many times he'd said those words since the top of the Presidium. Shepard didn't mind; she knew when he said them, he truly meant the words.
"Hey, there they are," James said. "Finally joining the cool kids."
Shepard wrapped her arms around Garrus' waist. "This is our song."
"This is not our song," Garrus said at once, putting his hands on her hips. They started swaying slowly to the techno beat.
"This is absolutely our song," Shepard told the group with a grin. She lowered her voice so only he could hear. "So how did your research lead you to this song anyway?"
Garrus leaned forward and rested his brow against hers. "I might have taken a suggestion from Mordin."
"You didn't," Shepard said, thinking of her own awkward conversation with Mordin. He had her believing about not ingesting until she did some research of her own and discovered the asari had been ingesting for a thousand years with no consequences. "Oh, Garrus." His talon traced her jawline. Shepard closed eyes and felt a shiver go down her spine. "Least it worked out in the end."
She leaned back to get a better view of Garrus' face. "I'd say it more than worked out," he said, his voice low and she felt the vibrations of his sub-vocals all the way through her fingertips.
Shepard thought of all the ways things had worked out for them. Supporting each other through the Collector Base, the war and now Leviathan. Looking back, Shepard still wasn't exactly sure how the words what if we skip straight to the tiebreaker? ever came out of her mouth, but she was so grateful she said them, and even more grateful that Garrus didn't treat the words as a joke but instead as an opportunity. Someday, when their lives settled down a bit, they'd take the step that Gabby and Ken took today. Someday.
A smirk found its way onto her lips. "Totally our song."
Author's Note: Many thanks to theherocomplex for her beta work!