Ahhh here we go, one super long chapter for you guys :D Enjoy

ALL CHARACTERS (except the reader and some OC's) BELONG TO HAJIME ISAYAMA/ATTACK ON TITAN/SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN

"Hey, kid?"

"Mhm."

"Why do you think I almost gave up?"

"Because you were scared. Mommy always said that being afraid can make some people do crazy things."

"I suppose it was crazy, wasn't it…"

"To give up?"

"Yeah. I mean I had you to look after too. I'll think things through next time though, I promise."

"…(Name)?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

-Doctor's Residence, 7:42 am-

Whoever stoked the fires had not done a very good job at tending them, because the fireplace was as dark and as chilly as the morning. Your eyes came open a slit, just enough for you to admire the fresco on the ceiling. For an instant you thought you were back in the burning mansion so you shot up out of fright. A wave of nausea hit you with such overwhelming speed that you could not help but retch off to the side. The pail that you'd been vomiting in since arriving had been cleaned once again.

You weren't a hundred percent certain on when you arrived, or how for that matter. There were no memories of riding Honey, no memories of how you ended up on this couch or in this room, no memories of taking off your belts or your boots and worst of all, no memories of how you ended up in clean clothing.

Someone saw me in my small clothes last night, and if it was anyone but Petra...

"How many times are you going to do keep doing that?"

Your vision was spotty, leaving you unable to discern who was sitting on the couch across from you. The voice sounded familiar enough, though its characteristics had been subdued by the volume at which it was spoken.

"Erd?"

"Mm. Just so you know, we're safe." He assured, grinning at your show of fright. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than dead, if that counts." Your voice was hoarse and your throat raw. It probably sounded like you chain-smoked cigars every day of your life. If you really listened for it, Erd's voice also sounded strained.

"Sure it does. Do you know where we are?"

"No."

Somewhere safe?

In all honesty, you hadn't even given it a second thought. You were more concerned with aiming the contents of your stomach at the bucket instead of registering your surroundings. All that came out was the sour, despicable taste of bile. Your stomach groaned in agony. You needed sustenance.

"What do you remember?"

"Saving some kid, Auruo getting pissed off, fire… you don't find it cold in here?" You felt the hairs stand up on the back of your neck as you realized that you were exposed. While nestling yourself back under the thick fibers of the sheepskin blanket that covered you, you tried to seize the warmth before it could escape. You couldn't fully make out the figure of your comrade. No matter how hard you tried it seemed as though he would only remain an ambiguous shape against a lightly colored back ground, and your vision only seemed to sting worse when you rubbed your eyes.

"We're in Doctor Abbey's sitting room. He pretty much insisted on having the windows open, it would be better for our breathing... and he said no fires either. Not after last night." He paused, finally coming to an understanding that you seemed a little panicked at your failing senses. "Don't worry. It's common after what you went through."

Good.

"Abbey… like H-Haymond Abbey?" You remarked after settling back on that name. A stabbing pain caused you to stumble on your words. You were trying to sit up so you could face your friend in a proper conversation, but your body wasn't going to have any of it.

"Yeah. Listen, he told me to apologize for sticking you on the couch but there weren't enough beds for everyone. The Lance Corporal told him we'd be fine in here anyway." Erd himself sounded apologetic, but there was no need for it. Levi was right in his decision. The victims came before the lives of a soldier, no matter how uncomfortable you were laying there on that couch. It was a beautiful, maroon tinted color and the velvet was soft to the touch, but the actual padding of the seat itself had seen better days.

If you were all supposed to be in that room, then where was everyone? Doing housework? It was distressing to think that you couldn't do your fair share of chores, despite how much you hated them. You'd have to find some other way to make it up to the team. You weren't exactly fit enough to be scrubbing floors or dusting shelves but you would think of something.

"Erd? You know that boy I found… how is he?"

Your question cut the atmosphere of the room and echoed as if no one was there to receive it. You could hear him as he shifted around in his seat. He sighed as well, like he didn't quite know what to say.

"Listen, (Name)…" He started out reluctantly. Another pause had interrupted his speech. You propped yourself on your elbows, ignoring the aches the action caused in the process. Your throat seized up as another wave of nausea swept over you with unrelenting force. The taste of charcoal and stomach acid was vile. If the initial pang of sickness wasn't enough to make you puke, then the sight of what you'd just coughed up would certainly have done the trick.

Erd didn't know whether to help or to stare. Either option wouldn't have made a difference so he let your heaving run its course. The doors to the parlor groaned just then, making small squeaks as they were opened completely. The soft patter of somebody's boots was drawing near.

"Sir." You heard your team mate acknowledge the presence of your superior officer.

Greeeeeat.

Levi made some gesture of agreement as he came closer, relieving Erd of his position. Your friend had been hesitant to leave and was probably wondering if he should say goodbye. It's not as if you could really respond at the moment.

"I might be back. Petra's probably sick of dealing with Auruo. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to trade jobs with me." You waved him off with your head still hung over the container.

He left then, leaving you alone with Levi and a bucket of fresh puke. You didn't particularly give a damn at that point. If he didn't like it, he could go.

"Sir." You managed while trying to snuggle back under the covers. You closed your eyes so you didn't have to waste energy using them. Your vision had been impaired anyway. There wasn't much of a point in keeping them open.

"You don't have to address me formally." He stated blankly. He was going to set the rules for this conversation, and you would have to play along. The rustling of metallic objects piqued your interest then, and soon the wafting aroma of some deliciously sweet smelling herbs drifted up your nose. Your mouth started to water.

"W-What is that?"

You'd always wondered what it would be like to own a proper tea set, as that was most likely what he had sitting in front of you.

"What does it smell like?"

The question came with a half-hearted expression of annoyance. Nevertheless, it had you sitting upright before Levi finished pouring the second cup. You felt around the coffee table to find it. Even with your eyes open, everything was patchy and blurred.

The Lance Corporal gazed curiously as your hands hovered over various objects, patting them and trying to figure out what they were. None of them had been the cup you were looking for, and you didn't want to accidentally spill anything by being too eager.

"Here." He grabbed your hand, guiding it gently towards the steaming mug. His patience had reached its limit, and he'd grown tired of witnessing your failed attempts.

"Thank you." You muttered in reply as he withdrew. Your cold digits felt immediately comforted as you encompassed the drink in your hands. The dizziness and nausea seemed to be yielding for now. Although all of your symptoms could be associated with what you experienced during your rescue mission, you could also see how the cause could be hunger. You couldn't remember the last thing you ate and had been emptying your insides for some time.

"How's Auruo?"

It was the first thing that came to mind. You'd heard his shrieks of agony the night before after something caught him in arm. It was only natural to show concern seeing as you would probably be dead if not for him.

"Well enough." Levi responded dutifully. The conversation had grown dull for him already, but you needed to know. He placed his cup and plate back on the table, settling nicely back into couch before continuing. "His shoulder's dislocated."

"Mm…" You breathed, half acknowledging your friends injury and half in euphoria over the tea you just sipped. In all the years you had been drinking the stuff, it never occurred to you if you were making it properly. The experience was enlightening to say the least and you promised to educate yourself on the art even more once you returned home.

"I suppose you want a debriefing then?" You sighed, bringing the cup down to your lap. "It might be better for you to come back later… I'm not sure if I could tell you everything just yet. My mind's been a bit fuzzy since waking up."

"Is that so?" He said, with an unnaturally calloused edge. He poured himself another drink, meaning he wouldn't be going anywhere for the next little while, at least not until the tea ran out.

"Sir, the boy I…" You began solemnly, staring down at nothing in particular. The steam curls that skated on the surface of your tea had dispersed at the intrusion of your breath. Erd's hesitant behaviour had already confirmed your suspicions but you needed to hear it from Levi.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

You mustered enough confidence to look him in the face, or so you thought. It didn't matter. You just wanted to know. It was a slim chance that either you would have made it out unharmed, but you had no way of knowing just how long the house had been ablaze or how long he'd been exposed to the cruel atmosphere. Death was not uncertain; in fact it seemed a far more likely fate for the tiny being.

"Yes."

Your breath hitched on that answer, even though it was the one you expected to hear. Levi had even paused before responding, debating whether or not he should tell you. Nothing could be gained from withholding the truth though. You would have found out sooner or later.

Hold it together, hold it together...

Honey was the only one privileged enough to see you in a state of genuine sadness, so you bit your lip in an effort to conceal your frustration. While you intended to gently place your cup on the table, the rattle it made as it carelessly impacted with the plate revealed exactly what you were feeling.

"Well, what about everyone else? The mother, the father, the siblings? Or are they all dead too?"

What about the people in the photo?

The Lance Corporal leaned inward towards the table, placing both elbows onto his knees before clasping his hands under his chin. You could feel his eyes on you, and floundered at the thought of not knowing where to look. Some of his features became visible now that he was closer. The rich, dark hues of his hair, the cool grey-blue colors of his eyes, the ivory tones of his skin…

"Dr. Abbey knows them as the Ostermanns. A family born and raised in the east with roots as far back into farming since the walls were built. Both Conrad and Janine Ostermann are the parents and are alive and well. The three surviving children, Lutz, Matthaus and Lorena are all being treated for mild cases of smoke inhalation." He paused before formally delivering the casualty report. "Ostermann Senior died in the house, but we extracted the body. Jens died shortly after being rescued."

"Jens…" You repeated his name to make sure you wouldn't forget it. You didn't even know him, yet felt as though you suffered a major loss… but hadn't you? A soldier's job was to put their life on the line in order to save those in need. If you failed, you couldn't exactly say that it wouldn't have any repercussions on you.

"He wasn't rescued if he's dead." You muttered after covering your hand with your mouth. You felt a slight urge to puke, but it subsided after taking in a big breath of air. "At least we got him out though…"

"You got him out, at your own risk."

"Sir?"

You saw no benefit in him pointing out such an obvious fact. If this was his roundabout way of giving you a pep talk, then you wished he would stop. It only hurt that he was highlighting the situation and acting as though you had a choice in the matter. Sure, you were scared shitless by the sight of the flaming mansion from hell, but who wouldn't be? People died because of it, and although you had tried your utmost to prevent those deaths you still came up short. You wouldn't dwell on it, but you would not forget it either.

"I said we served mankind. To an extent that's true. But where do you suppose we should draw the line?" His voice grew much darker as he continued. "If I ordered you to die right now, would you do it?"

"No? Why on earth would you? There's no reason to-" Your brain could not sort out the mess of questions that had arisen from his cryptic remark. What little strength you had put towards suppressing the urge to hurl had now been directed at being fully mindful of the conversation.

"Nobody should ever feel compelled to waste their lives in a situation where the outcome is unpredictable, but we do it everyday because we have to. We should do it because it's what we feel is right, not because it's something that's expected of us. To die a needless death is the worst kind."

The contempt he felt was puzzling to you. It probably stemmed from something much deeper, but even still…

"The boy you saved would have grown up thinking the same, that soldiers risking their lives is a mandatory thing. Like we'd do it without questioning the reason why."

That was it. You slapped your hands back up to your mouth, gathering all of your energy into blocking whatever was going to come out. The taste of burnt saliva was weakening the hold, and once you could not repress it any longer you had no option but to swing over and vomit in front of your superior. This wave in particular had come with excessive force, and hurt more than every time before it.

"I… d-don't see what the point-" another paralyzing spasm ripped through your body "of this is. Are you telling me I s-should have left Jens behind? You were the first one in that h-house." While planting a firm grip on the sofa, you turned and directed your full attention at him. "W-why save them if you think they're so terrible?"

You held your own against him, with your head hung over a puke bucket and sweat dripping off your brow. The tiny flyaways of your bangs had melded together thanks to the moisture of your body, and your shirt had since been drenched due to the incredible pain you experienced. Everything hurt, but you would not call it quits until he answered.

The rustling of his uniform came quieter and his footsteps made echoes as he made his way toward the parlor doors. He stopped just short of the threshold, turning slightly to address his abrupt exit.

"I'm going to get the doctor."

You shook your head to make the spots go away, but they wouldn't stop. It would probably be a few days until your vision returned to normal, but you wanted to badly to look at him in hopes that his face would reveal something, anything that could imply that he wasn't as heartless as his words suggested. For Jens to grow up and think of a solider that way? You could not decide if he would, as you did not know him. You would never have the opportunity to have that question answered.

"No… L-Levi, damn it!

Get back here!

"You bastard... answer my question."

Dinner Time, 4:32 pm

"How's your chest pain, dear?"

The second check-up for the day was now underway. The first one had been at the insistence of the Lance Corporal, no doubt because he was trying to leave the conversation. The Doctor made his was slowly over to your couch, tray in hand and a suitcase full of the tools of his craft. In a sense, doctors were like the engineers that repaired your gear. Both worked hard to make sure their subjects were functioning properly. Should they mess up or miss the small, tell-tale signs of a problem, then the fallout could be fatal.

"The same… I don't suppose that's a good sign though." The crackling of your voice made it difficult for you to properly convey anything, but he understood nonetheless.

"It's a very good sign. As good as they come." He'd taken a seat next to you, placing the tray down onto the table. You could tell that it carried food based on the smell alone.

"Would you mind turning your back to me?"

"Mhm…"

You had already been sitting when Dr. Abbey entered the parlor. All that you needed to do now was shift your body to the left and lift your shirt. The ordeal sounded simple enough, but the pain made moving an extremely difficult task.

"S-so how exactly do you deal with something like this? I mean, I don't think I've ever heard of medicine that can repair burnt lungs."

Burnt was an exaggeration of what you were going through. You hadn't suffered nearly as much as the others, and had even been given the expectation of a full recovery.

"There's nothing I can give aside from fresh air, and treatment depends solely on the severity of the case. In essence, if your lungs have undergone enough damage it will not make a difference. The body usually shuts down at that point, leaving the patient numb before passing on..." He paused, taking a moment to search his bag for the appropriate instrument. "So, can you see why your discomfort lends itself well to my diagnosis?"

You nodded in approval.

"You, my dear, were very lucky to have suffered on the mild end of the spectrum."

This is what mild feels like?

The gruffness in speech was not what you expected from a man of his stature. You'd seen him many times before while wondering about the market but had never had the opportunity to become acquainted. He was something of a celebrity in these parts, with his proficiency in medicine and impressive resume. Many times had he been brought in to save high ranking officials in the military, for anything from the flu to Tuberculosis. He was successful in almost every single venture, which really helped establish him as one of the best doctors within wall Maria.

"Seldom do people ever come this far away from the cities. So, could you imagine my surprise when I opened my front door to the great Lance Corporal Levi himself? I was starting to think the titans had invaded… Ha, bollocks to that I say! May the walls last another hundred years!" His laughter rocketed throughout the room with force, causing you to wince at the sudden outburst. He did not seem to care about professionalism in speech. That much was for certain.

Dr. Haymond Abbey was in his sixty-eighth year of life. Most men went bald at his age but he still had a wealth of snowy tresses on top of his head and they didn't seem like they were going to fade any time soon. His stocky limbs, robust shoulders and thick torso gave way to the impression that he was very active in his youth. The bridge of his nose was long and broad which lead into a thin set of lips that had withered with age. His broom-like mustache covered the majority of the skin above. It joined with a beard that had been trimmed properly and was just as thick as his hair.

"You say that like you know him." You twitched as you felt the cool metal receiver of a stethoscope press lightly against your upper back. The doctor took care not to pull or twist your shirt in any way that would hurt you. In the end he let you hold it taught around your shoulders as lifting your arms seemed impossible.

"The Lance Corporal, I mean."

"Deep breaths, child… Thank you. Oh, yes. I know most of the officers in the Scouting Legion. Or at least I used to before I retired and came to live out in the sticks. I've never had the pleasure of a formal acquaintance but the boy's reputation precedes him."

You wanted so badly to laugh just then. Boy? Since when had anyone known Levi as a boy?

"Don't let him catch you saying that. He might find it insulting."

"Whatever for, my dear? I only meant it as a compliment, in that you are all children to my eyes… Be thankful for your youth because it's only a matter of time before you turn into an old goat like me." He retracted the instrument once he was satisfied with the information he'd collected.

"Besides, there's nothing he can do to me that old age won't in the next few years. You can rest assured though; I am in no position to insult anyone. The lad has every single one of your squad members tending to the chores around my house."

"Right…" Of course that's what they were doing. How else could Levi possibly repay anyone? "We did force ourselves into your home last night though… I mean, you're a doctor. It's not like you could've turned us away."

"Oh nonsense. I'm happy to have any sort of company nowadays. This house is too damn big for the likes of me and I've not the muscle to maintain it like I used to."

"Don't your kids come to visit?"

…

He rubbed his throat as a gesture of comfort. "They would if they were still alive."

Your mouth was left agape in shock. You could not help but slowly drag both hands down your face.

"…Shit." You expressed with immediate regret, breathing into your hands to conceal your embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Another deafening blare of laughter caught you off your guard, making you turn out of fright. There was no time for you to brace yourself, and you ended up hunching over in pain at the sudden movement.

Does this guy even know how to be serious?

"No worries! It's been twenty three years since both of my boys last drew breath, twins they were... While I miss them dearly, I can say that I'm too old now to be despairing about it." He tucked his stethoscope away into his carrying case. That was all he cared to do in terms of a check-up, making you wonder why he'd even brought it in the first place. Perhaps he was able to tell your condition just by looking at you.

"We're all done here; my prognosis hasn't changed since the first check-up. The chest pain will continue for about seven days but the blindness should clear up by morning. I'm afraid I can't offer you any medicine for the aches."

"No, no… that's fine. I understand. Thank you, by the way. I can't imagine where any of us would be without your help."

Although you intended to sound cheerful while you expressed your gratitude, a different pain had replaced the physical torment of your body and changed your look to one of regret. You knew it was a part of the job, that there would be casualties in instances like these… but you would never get used to it, not after you watched a tiny flame be extinguished when it had barely even lived.

This isn't guilt… It's regret. I promised you, kid, and I'll keep it. I just wish you were around for me to show you that I can do better.

You were certain Dr. Abbey had already started towards the doors, but you could feel his lingering presence as he mulled something over. The man knew people, and it was scary considering he'd only talked to you twice and only for brief amounts of time.

"(Name), listen dear… if you are worried about whether or not the boy suffered, the Ostermann child I mean, I would lay those uncertainties to rest. I can assure you he was asleep when you pulled him out. He passed away on the ride over."

The calm, enduring tone of his voice made you tilt your head in his approximate direction. The thought had never vocalized itself, but it was something you wondered since finding him in that study. It was the answer you wanted all along, but were too absentminded to ask.

"So… no pain?"

If it was any worse than my experience now…

"No my dear. None at all."

You could not call it relief, but what you felt was a possible end to the sorrow that had accompanied you since the early hours of the day. That small bit of insight the Doctor shared was enough to clarify your next objective.

"Could you help me with something then?"

His curiosity had peaked. Patients often demanded things of their Doctors, though he had no indication as to what your question would entail.

"If it is within my power." He sounded almost reluctant to indulge your request, yet offered his help all the same.

Good.

"Take me to see the parents? Please. I just… I feel like I can give them closure if I tell them what happened."

He stood and brooded in silence, twisting the fibers from his beard in between his fingers. For a moment it seemed like he wouldn't oblige you, but his smile had returned at the potential you had in consoling the Ostermanns. Someone might have done something similar for him when his sons passed away, and if it helped him with his grief then it could possibly do the same for them.

"My back will have to deny your request, but there's no reason we can't get someone else to help. Give me a moment to find one of your team mates. They should be more than willing if I ask."

"Thanks Doc." You voiced in the sincerest way possible. The smallest hints of moisture began to form in the corners of your eyes. Crying was never something you cared to invest in and quite frankly you felt it was a waste of time and valuable water. Now would be no different, because tears couldn't solve what your words and experiences could. You wiped away the bits of liquid before they could progress down your cheeks and locked them away in the thin cotton threads of your shirt.

"No, my dear…" He said lightly with his right hand clasped around a door handle.

"Thank you."

Ugh... sorry for all of the randoms OCs guys. I kinda wrote myself into a corner and there were no existing characters that would fit. Forgive me if they don't sound believable. Finding a name that fits into the SNK universe would be like trying to find Marco's other half. Fucking impossible... As always, thanks for reading! R&R is appreciated, you guys are awesome! - Evasive

ABBEYS (pronounced like Abbi, of British descent if SNK had nationalities)

-Dr. Haymond Abbey, received license to practice medicine when he was 19.

-WIFE Rose Abbey (Name after wall Rose, surname used to be Lerwick)

- SONS Wentworth and Willem. Died at age of 21 from a plague that swept through the area. They were soldiers in the Military Police.

OSTERMANNS (Father's side German descent, Mother's side Swiss descent)

-Conrad Ostermann Sr. (deceased)

-Conrad Ostermann Jr. (Owns most of the farmland east of Wall Maria)

-Janine Ostermann, wife of Conrad Jr. (formerly Janine Bussinger, 'J' is pronounce like 'Y')

-Kurt Ostermann, eldest son. (not present, part of the Garrison positioned around wall Rose)

-Lutz Ostermann, in line for inheriting the family business.

-Matthaus Ostermann

-Lorena Ostermann (only daughter)

-Jens Osternmann, youngest. (deceased, 'J' pronounced like 'Y')

Update (2015-11-07) Went back and smoothed some dialogue. Enjoy!