A/N: Hi, guys! Well…Here we are. The long-awaited retelling of an olllllllllld Kiss, Kiss chapter. And probably one of my favorite Kiss, Kiss chapters. A girl, her boyfriend, their friends, and some very mischievous Capri-Sun. *sigh* Good times. You ready? I'm ready. I'm in much higher spirits this week than what I was last week. Thanks for the buffer time, friends. But…Do we have snacks, drinks, blankets? How are we doing? Good? Hydration is key, my lovelies. Are you sure we got this? Alright! Wonderful! If not, go get you something. We can wait…Ready? We ready now? Awesome! Let's get down to business then!
Alright. I got my tea. I got a bowl of pretzels. I got the apartment to myself since Kyoya's busy working on his design project. My laptop battery is full. I think I'm finally ready to do this. It's time to write my paper. Professor Lewis didn't give any specifications other than word count. That didn't worry me. I knew I'd be able to tell my story in a thousand words with no problem. With my work station prepared and my notes document open, I had a short story to write. And one of the best nights of my life to relive. Well...Here goes nothing.
In the dark depths of the forest ran a river. A wide river. A beautiful river. This land seemed completely untouched by man. Although, under the blanket of twilight, moments before the sun had gone for the night, a pair of otters were just about to lay their heads down as well. Their cozy, little burrow laid mere feet away from the riverbank.
However, a golden retriever from the nearby farm wouldn't allow the otters their sleep. This particular dog could be rather excitable. That's why his friend, his watchdog, a chocolate lab, followed him everywhere he went. She kept his impulses in line. But sometimes, even her sensibilities can't stop his sudden bursts of energy.
"Hey, otter friends!" he barked excitedly, "Otter friends! Are you home?"
The otters stayed quiet, thinking that if they pretended they weren't home, the dog outside would go back to the farm. It's not that they dislike the golden retriever at their burrow. They had a long day of swimming through the river's current to deal with the high energy dog and wanted to go to sleep. Unfortunately, the dog's unwavering joy wouldn't allow that.
"Otter friends!" he howled, "Where are you?"
Dammit. If Tamaki were an actual dog, what would his name be? Do I just pick something generic? No. It's Tamaki. I couldn't do that. Something Like Spot or Lucky wouldn't suit him. On that same note, I should probably come up with names for otter Kyoya and otter me, too. I opened up a window on the side and did a quick internet search. For my friends, I still wanted their names to have Japanese origins. It only makes sense. Although, for Tamaki, I wanted to do something different. When we first met, Tamaki had mentioned something about being half French when I mentioned my English roots. So, it'd be totally appropriate if his dog persona had a French name, too.
Let's see. Male French dog names. Adrien, meaning dark. For Tamaki? Bright, shining, bundle of sunshine Tamaki? I don't think so. Alphonse? No. Something about that feels…Not right. Really not right. That's someone else, but not for Tamaki. Beau, meaning beautiful. Tamaki did pride himself on his good looks. But then, one stood out like a sore thumb. I did say I didn't want something generic for my outlandish friend, but this one would fit perfectly. I found a few more for Kyoya, Haruhi, and myself and now, I think I got this. Now, where was I?
"What do you want, Chanceaux?" one of the otters stuck his head out of the burrow in great annoyance.
"Kiyoshi!" Chanceaux's tail flitted in the breeze, "There you are!"
"Hi, Chanceaux," the other otter popped her head out of the burrow, too.
"Lynelle!" Chanceaux tossed her in the air a few times, making the poor otter nauseous.
"Chanceaux, drop her!" the chocolate lab growled, making Lynelle fall out of his mouth. The lab checked on her small otter friend, "I'm sorry, Lynelle. You know how he can be. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Lynelle promised, regaining her bearings, "Thank you, Chieko."
"You never answered my question," Kiyoshi said, climbing onto his friend's back, "What do you want, Chanceaux?"
"I wanted to play with my friends!" Chanceaux chimed, "I hope it's ok with you that I invited a few more."
"How many is a few…?" Kiyoshi's glare pierced through his heart.
"Just a few!"
"Oh, Lynelle!" Simultaneous quacks came down the river in the form of a pair of mischievous swans, "Did you miss us?"
I did miss those mischievous swans.
"Lyn-chan!" a softer, sweeter voice echoed through the forest as a giant black bear carried a bunny on its back, "Kiyo-chan! And look at that, Hisashi! Everyone else is here, too!"
"Well?" Lynelle looked to Kiyoshi, "I don't think we can turn them away at this point."
"Yeah," Kiyoshi was reluctant to entertain, but he gave in anyway, wanting to make his beloved happy.
"Usa-chan," Lynelle cuddled the bunny on the ground, "It's so nice to see you."
"I miss you, too, Lyn-chan!" Usa-chan squeaked while Hisashi found a spot to lay down.
"Alright then!" Chanceaux ran a circle at the speed of light, "All our friends are here!"
"Not all of them," one of the swans had a smirk on his face and looked to his brother, "Say, Junichiro…"
"Yes, Hiroshi?" the other matched his bookend.
"I don't think everyone's here. What do you say we invite her?"
"I'd say that's a capital idea, brother."
"Her?" Kiyoshi asked skeptically, "You mean…?"
"I think so," Lynelle winced, "Why?"
"Come on, Lynelle," the swans begged, "You should call her!"
"You're practically the same species," Hiroshi pointed out.
"Yeah," Junichiro added, "Only she's a little smaller than you."
"I'm an otter," Lynelle corrected, "She's a…"
"We know!"
"Fine," she grumbled. They were in it this far. The whole family might as well be here.
"Did I…" a bright green bush viper came slithering through the grass, "Hear my name? Am I being s-s-s-summoned?"
"Fienya!" the swans quacked.
"Hi, Fi-chan!" Usa-chan greeted her. Fienya was one of the most beautiful creatures in the entire forest. Everyone else was intimidated by that. Except for the swans. And Lynelle. But Lynelle was also a very trusting soul.
"Hello, Us-s-s-ss-s-sa-chan," she slithered over, "Hi, everyone. Did I hear there's-s-s-s-s a party?"
"Regrettably," Kiyoshi curled into a ball, "It is always nice to see you, though, Fienya."
"You, too, s-s-s-s-sweetie," Fienya sneered, "You know…It's-s-s-s no party without some presents-s-s-s-s, right?"
"Presents?" the swans wondered.
"What kind of presents?" Chanceaux got more and more excited, "Is it treats? I hope it's treats! IT'S CHICKEN!"
"Settle down, senpai." Chieko bit his ear.
"So," Kiyoshi asked, "What did you bring us, Fienya?"
"I brought you all…" Fienya uncoiled her body, "S-s-s-some berries-s-s-s. If that's-s-s-s ok…"
"Wow," Lynelle kept her uncertainty, "This is nice of you, Fienya."
"Go ahead," she insisted, "They're quite delicious-s-s-s."
Am I being a little cliché for doing the multiple S's thing for a snake? Oh, well. There's a word for what that is. Dialect, maybe? Something like that. It's fine. I won't judge.
"Well," Chieko thought, "It would be kind of rude to turn them down."
"That's-s-s-s right," Fienya nudged them forward, "Go on…"
They couldn't hurt…Right? Without another thought, the creatures of the forest gobbled up the bright, red berries in front of them. Sweet like cherries, but with an added punch of something that none of them could put their finger on. Except for Fienya, of course. Fienya's ulterior motives had ulterior motives. And the only one that seemed to notice any changes was Lynelle. All of her friends started to act a little stranger.
Chanceaux and Chieko couldn't stop licking each other and sniffing each other. Hiroshi and Junichiro turned very squawky. And Usa-chan wanted to pick a fight with anyone willing to accept. Especially with his best friend, Hisashi. The bunny overestimated his size and strength, beating on the bear, who was venting his woes and confessing his darkest secrets to Lynelle.
I had a sudden flashback to Mori's secrets about summer camp. Things I didn't need to know. That I can't erase from my brain. That I did my best to suppress as much as I possibly could.
"Hey, Fienya," Lynelle pulled the viper aside, "Could I talk to you?"
"S-s-s-s-s-sure, Lynelle," Fienya hissed, "What is-s-s it?"
"The berries," Lynelle grew dizzy, "What were those?"
"Well," she sneered, "Let's just say those berries weren't exactly the purest of all berries."
"What did you do?" Lynelle growled.
"Those berries-s-s-s are poisonous-s-s-s," Fienya explained. Immediately, Lynelle was ready to strike, not caring about how strong the snake's venom was, "Easy there, my little otter friend. It's not going to kill them. It'll just make them feel good for a while. There's-s-s-s no harm in that, is-s-s there?"
Who was Lynelle to stop their fun? Although she was conflicted, she threw in the towel, "No. There isn't."
"Lynelle," Kiyoshi, her usually quiet lover, came over to her, "Come to bed with me. I'm tired."
"Fine," Lynelle knew Kiyoshi slept better when they were together. So, they slid down on their bellies into their burrow and called it a night.
The next morning, Lynelle and Kiyoshi both felt horrible. That berry wasn't sitting well in either of their tummies. She crawled out of the burrow to find her friends scattered around the riverbank, all of them sleeping soundly. All except for one. Fienya was up and raring to go. She slithered around, checking to make sure they were all still breathing. But then, after a quick look around the forest, Lynelle noticed a bright red scarf hanging from one of the trees. That's Chieko's scarf, she thought. But a few feet away, sleeping like a baby, Usa-chan was swinging from a tree in a net trap.
"Lana?" Kyoya walked in, kissing my cheek, "What are you up to?"
"Finishing my paper," I put my laptop down on the coffee table, "My head's killing me and I'm tired as hell."
"How close are you to finishing?" he wondered, taking a spot next to me on the couch.
"Pretty close," I laid my head on my otter's shoulder, "I do want to go to bed, though."
"Finish and then, we can go to bed," Kyoya bargained.
"Ok," I nodded, "I am really close to finishing. I'm sure it'll only take me another ten minutes. What about you? How's your progress coming along?"
"It's getting there," he reported, "But I may need to get some measurements again. Don't let me distract you, though. You have other things to be doing. You know where I'll be. Don't come to bed too late."
"I won't." It's only a little after nine o'clock. I shouldn't be too much longer. Where was I again?
Lynelle shook her head. On that day, she and all of her friends learned a very valuable lesson. Taking berries from strange snakes wasn't necessarily a good idea. Surely, this couldn't have been Fienya's intention. All she ever wanted was a little bit of fun. Even if it was at the expense of her friends.
There. That's as good as it's going to get. My head was killing me and I'm physically exhausted. I'm pretty sure I earned a spot in my bed. Kyoya was already sleeping. What the hell time is it? I checked the clock again. It really took me that long? It's damn near ten! Oh, well. I crawled into my bed right next to my boyfriend and laid my head on his chest, being careful not to wake him. Instead, his arms wrapped around me and everything was ok again.
When I woke up the next morning, I had my creative writing class to go to. In all honesty, I liked my creative writing class. I mean, it sucks that it's kind of early, but I could manage a 9AM class. Even if my professor can't. Regardless, it was an hour of pure silence and individualized activity. What more could a girl like me ask for? I left my paper on the professor's desk and found myself a comfortable seat in the middle of the room.
"Good morning, all," Professor Lewis came in with some higher spirits than last time. In his defense, he was also probably a bit hungover, "I'm sure you're all horribly anxious for the next prompt. Instead of retelling something you've already lived, I want you to take a song, anything you want, and listen to it. Really listen to it. Because music is one hell of an inspiration. I've found that listening to either dubstep or some hardcore death metal is incredible for writing fight scenes. They can set a mood. I want you to put that song on repeat and write blindly for the next thirty minutes. Do not stop for longer than a minute. Whatever comes to mind, put it on paper. Got it? Are we ready? Fantastic. I'll give you all a minute to figure out what you're writing to and we'll get to work once you've all picked something."
Let's see. What did I want to write to? Actually, I wouldn't mind writing to something from American Idiot. That sounded like a fantastic idea. Maybe I could use "Last Night on Earth". That song had a memory attached to it that I could draw inspiration from. But could I write on it for the next half hour? Or I could do "Before the Lobotomy/Extraordinary Girl". There was something I could write on for a while.
"Lana Smith!"
"Yes, sir?" I jumped.
"Come here," Professor Lewis demanded, "I need to talk with you for a minute."
What did I do? I wasn't going to say no. I didn't really have the authority to say no. I got up from my chair and followed my professor into his office. A simple office. It looked like an old library. Relax, Lana. You didn't do anything to upset him. At least, I don't think so. I didn't format my paper in comic sans. It's not an obnoxious color. Everything is on the up and up, isn't it? Unless it's like every college orientation ever and this is the part where the professor takes a young co-ed into his office for some "extra credit assignment" only to be attacked. I had a pen in my pocket ready just in case.
"What did you want me for, Professor?" I quivered a little, hoping that fear wasn't one of his kinks.
"I wanted to talk to you about your short story, you little over achiever," Professor Lewis pulled his chair out, "Go ahead and sit down."
"Ok," I did as I was told, "Excuse me, sir, but why am I the little over achiever?"
"Because you went over the minimum," he pointed out, "I'm not complaining, but most of my students throw in unnecessary filler words just to make the word count. But that's not what you're here for. About your story…"
My stomach knotted up. Maybe he is here to talk only about my work. And he's going to tear it a new ass, isn't it? I knew it wasn't going to be very good. I haven't written creatively in so long. It's almost slipped my mind on how to do it. Hopefully, I could still convey the story well enough for him to understand what was going on, "What about it?"
"I'm going to need some context," Professor Lewis cracked a smile, "This read like a children's book, but something tells me this is a very adult story. What's the real story here?"
"My sister accidentally got a bunch of my friends really drunk," I elaborated, my stomach settling.
"I'm guessing your sister was the snake then?"
"Yes."
"I like her," Professor Lewis chuckled a bit, "And I noticed the rabbit used Japanese honorifics. Why?"
"Because all of my friends involved are Japanese," I went on, "What happened was when I was still living in Japan, my boyfriend and I…"
"The otters?"
"Uh-huh," I nodded, "We were at his parents' house when they were out of town. Just the two of us. But the…quote, unquote leader of our circle of friends decided to take the whole gang over, not knowing exactly that I was there. And he invited himself and five of our closest friends over for a slumber party. During a game of truth or dare, I was dared to invite my older sister to come and play with us. Rhiannon never was one to show up to a party empty handed, so then, she gave us some Capri-Sun with some vodka in it and proceeded to get us all drunk."
"That in itself was a damn roller coaster," he hung onto my every word, "So, then, I can only assume that the scarf and the net trap happened the morning after?"
"Yeah," I bit my lip, "But they weren't exactly a scarf and a trap."
"Don't leave me in suspense!"
"The scarf was Chieko's…Haruhi's…" I clarified, "But it was…a pair of her underwear hanging from a chandelier. And Usa-chan, or Honey as we know him, was duct taped to the ceiling. My sister got him down before she went to bed."
"And you actually lived this?" Professor Lewis gasped.
"I can't make this up."
"By the sounds of it," he teased, "I wouldn't mind partying with you. I like your style, Lana. If this is a sign of things to come, this is going to be a wonderful semester."
"Thank you, sir," I smiled.
"Jesus Christ, Lana," Professor Lewis rubbed his eyes, "Pull the stick out of your ass. Unclench a little. We don't need to be so formal. You can call me Dean. If you can't let go like this, let go in your writing. You have full control over that world. That's half the reason why I started writing in the first place. Now, get back to work, ok? I'm looking forward to your next assignment."
"Ok," I got up from his desk and went back to working on my next assignment until the buzzer went off. The only thing I could think of when I left was our conversation. I do have total control over whatever I write. And more importantly, someone actually likes it…Professor Lewis…Dean likes my writing.
A/N: I like the way this turned out. It's so cute. And it really did read like a children's book. I kind of want to illustrate it now…Excuse me. I'll be sitting with a sketchbook for the next three hours. See you next chapter! xx