Chapter Eleven
A/N This chapter is all Alex's point of view. I was going to split it up between both Maggie and Alex but I wanted to explain some stuff in Alex's voice
I waited patiently for a reply. I knew if she didn't that was it I had ruined things before they had even really begun. Kara was right when she returned from the red sun dimension, she had told me that I should be happy and let happiness in. I had worked so hard to keep her safe I had forgotten myself.
I had always put Kara before myself ever since she came to earth and Dad had asked me to look out for her. Yes sometimes I had hated that she had come into our lives to start with but then it just became instinctive.
Hell it was that instinctive I even took a job where I could continue to look out for her. Never once letting me be happy even when things looked that way I would always be the one to ruin it. With Maggie though, it was different. I knew as soon as I had said those words to her it was wrong!
I had cried when she left. Frustrated at myself, for letting my heart be ruled by my instinctive nature. I wanted to be with Maggie I really did she was the best thing that had happened to me since Dad had gone. I couldn't lose that.
After about ten minutes my phone pinged. Sawyer came up on the screen so I swiped to read her message, I thought it must be alright because she replied, but I also dreaded it because she might be telling me to get lost.
I will be there in an hour!
I sighed in relief that she was even considering to see me. I really did need to explain. If she didn't want to know me after then so be it. I busy myself, I desperately want a strong drink but I know if I drink anything then what's the point in trying to fix things.
I keep looking to the clock the time is dragging by and I have started to pace. I think what if she doesn't come now? What if she thinks I am just not worth the effort anymore? What if I have proved her right about being fresh off the boat? The last thought scares me the most. What if she really doesn't want me anymore?
The knock on the door makes me jump. I know it is her as I told Kara not to disturb me tonight. She wished me luck and told me to call her if I needed her. Whatever happened I knew I wouldn't call her. If it turned out badly I wanted to be alone. If it turned out to the good I wanted the time to start making it up to Maggie.
I check through the spy hole and just confirm that it is her. I take a deep breath and open the door.
"Thank you for coming!" I say holding the door open for her.
"I almost didn't! I just, I don't think you're ready for this!" My heart sank, she didn't want me! In that moment I knew that I had to fight for her.
"No, no, no, no, I am, I am, hey I'm ….. I just" I internally scream at myself to pull it together and talk properly, like an adult. "I just kind of went crazy and I, I just like, I just feel like the universe is magically trying to smack me down for being happy!" I know I sound ridiculous but Maggie has turned round to face me, it's then I notice her eyes are red. It broke my heart to see her looking so sad too.
"That's it? You got to give me more than that!" I am relieved she is giving me a chance to explain properly. I try again hoping I don't mess up.
"I have always felt responsible like weight of the world responsible, and my parents always relied on me to watch over my sister, so the few times that I ever really did anything for myself it ended badly and then Supergirl went missing and I, I just blew a gasket!"
"Because Supergirl's your sister?" Maggie interjected. I was shocked that she come out with it, that she had even guessed it.
"What are you on about?" I try and cover up my shock.
"Come on! Look I know you! The only person you get that torn up over is Kara. Plus the glasses don't help!" We both laugh, on my part it was a relieved laugh as I have wanted to tell her for so long about Kara.
"I always said that! It was kind of ridiculous. I'm glad that you know because I don't want there to be any secrets!" My voice starts to fail me. I'm not sure what is happening between us, Maggie isn't giving anything away. I can feel the tears stinging my eyes.
"Bad stuff happens! In our line of work it happens all the time! How do I know you're not going to run next time it does!" Maggie asks, I can see the tears in her eyes. I can see that she if fighting to stay in control, she is having her own emotional battle.
"I won't… I'm sorry…. I just I want to be happy with you!" I say as sincerely as I can through falling tears.
"You get one Alex!" She uses my first name as if to reiterate the point. By this time we are both crying and we are in a tight embrace.
"Understood….. Thank you!" I feel so relieved and thankful that Maggie has forgiven me. I know that it must have taken some soul searching for her to do so. I remember our talks and when she has spoken about her exs she has always said that they have never gotten a second chance. So I sob harder so thankful for this amazing and beautiful woman in my life. We stood like this for a few moments before I took her hand and led her over towards the sofa. I didn't want her to think that there was some ulterior motive for her coming to my place.
We sat down and I gently pulled Maggie to me so her head was resting on my shoulder.
"I really am sorry Maggie. I promise this won't happen again!" I try to explain.
"Stop talking and just kiss me already!" Maggie says quietly.
I slowly move forward scared that she might pull away instead she places her hands on my face and gently caresses my cheek before our lips meet. It felt like we were meant for each other because our kisses were instinctive and unforced. I place my hands over Maggie's and just rest them there. She moves her hands and takes mine with hers. We are then holding hands, still kissing but now holding hands. My insides do a flip and I feel Maggie push against me. Our kiss deepening tongues are now exploring the others mouth. Hands are going under shirts. Then this time it's Maggie's phone that rings, forcing us to break apart.
"Sorry Alex, I'm on call tonight. I took it because I kind of went AWOL from work earlier!" She explains before answering the call.
After a couple of minutes she hangs up.
"I have to go, but I will call you later if that's alright with you?" She asks.
"Don't go Maggie. Please!" I beg.
"I so don't want to Danvers but I have to do this. I am already on a warning for going AWOL." Maggie genuinely looks sad to be going so I couldn't be upset for long.
"I wish this afternoon had never happened and I just responded to your texts!" I sigh.
"Speak soon Alex. But text me, keep me smiling!" Maggie said as she made her way out to her shout.
A/N2 sorry it's not a long chapter but I just wanted to get this out there. I actually put myself in Alex's place and visualised the internal dialogue she was having. It got me pretty emotional because I realised that Maggie is opening herself up in so many ways and that is down to Alex. And Alex is learning to trust someone completely which is new to her. Especially when that someone is from outside of the usual circle of friends. Also I got my episodes wrong in the last chapter. The next chapter will be all scenes from episode 10 in one. Chapter 13 and 14 will be based on episode 11 and chapter 15 is episode 12 then 16, 17 and 18 will be episode 13.