Stalking 101

So, now I have to resort to dire techniques to discover what's really going on between Elle and Sirius.

I mean, really, what else is a girl to do apart from stalk- observe her dearest friend and catch them in a deeply romantic and/or hormonally charged moment

So, naturally, I was looking to recruit a professional team of low profile stalkers to assist me in my mission of revealing true love.

But, unfortunately, I had to settle for the marauders.

James, Remus and Peter stood in front of me, at attention, whilst I stood on the Gryffindor common room's coffee table.

'Alright' I shouted at them, 'Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to assist me in discovering the true feelings of a Miss. Elipses Pandora Morgan. We will split up into two teams of two, one group will track down and follow Sirius whilst the other team will sniff down Elle.'

Whilst I was speaking, James had slumped backwards into the red couch and sat with one arm slung on the back of the chair and the other on the armrest.

'Jamesy-boyo, did I say you could sit down, stand up at once!' I shouted at him, much like a training officer in the army would.

He just gave me a funny look and then smirked at me, refusing to stand up.

Remus raised his hand slightly, 'Jamesy-boyo?' was all he said.

'Yes' I informed him, 'That is James' code name for this mission, you my friend are Loopy' I turned to Peter, 'You are PeePee, Sirius' code name will be Siri-kins and Elle's code name is L'Elle.' I then pointed towards myself, 'You can call me the Commander.'

All he did was lower his hand in response.

Now back to the problem at hand.

James was still sat on the couch, ignoring my oh-so-terrifying threats and observing his nails as if he was uninterested in this mission.

That was when the genius idea hit me.

James was sat on the sofa and I was stood on the coffee table. With enough momentum the couch would topple over and James would be sprawled all over the floor.

And I just might be the momentum needed.

So that, dear readers, is why I jumped.

Here's what was supposed to happen: I would throw my body towards James and the couch and hit him head on, James would scream like a little girl as the couch tipped backwards and when the back of the couch hit the floor, I would roll off of him and stand up with an annoyingly victorious smirk on my face that I know would piss him off. He would then grovel and apologise for ignoring my almighty instructions.

This is how the plan actually went.

I did, in fact, throw my body towards James. But, I'm assuming someone in the room had nailed the couch to the floor, or used telekinetic powers to prevent a full on collision because the couch did not move.

I landed on top of James, my face crushed into his jumper with his hand bracing us both on the couch.

Yes, it was unfortunate.

I sat up and checked my watch… which was not drawn on.

'Okay!' I yelled, still sat on James, 'Loopy and PeePee, you two are taking the invisibility cloak and following Siri-kins, my research shows he should be walking out of a detention with McGonagall-'

James cut me off, 'How do you know about the invisibility cloak, I-I mean, what cloak? We don't have a cloak?'

I tapped him on the shoulder in comfort, 'I have my ways grasshopper.' I told him.

'Me an you' I said pointing at him 'Will be following L'Elle, who I know is in a catch-up potions lesson because she's currently failing.'

'We leave in T-minus, NOW!' I yelled, quickly jumping off the couch and dragging James with me, out of the common room and down the corridors.

James resisted being dragged after I had taken him down a few floors, 'Hey, what's up? I was sure you were going to pair yourself up with Remus' he asked me.

I sighed, 'I thought about it, but frankly, he has no stalking experience, whereas you are a little bit pro, what with your stalking of Lily.' At this point, he moved his hand to his chest and made an offended face, as if I'd just said he acts like Garfield on a Monday.

I just rolled my eyes at him and dragged him the rest of the way, towards the dungeons, where Elle's remedial potions lesson was being held.

We waited a few minutes before the door opened, Elle was one of the first people out, showing that she was glad to be out of there. Potions was never one of her stronger subjects.

I quickly pushed James into the shadows, squeezed in the small space between and enchanted suit of armour and a wall.

It was slightly damp.

I shuffled around behind the armour, appropriately turning around it as Elle walked past.

When she had turned a corner, I pulled on James and ran along the length of the wall until I hit the corner. I carefully looked around and was greeted with the sight of Elle's retreating form. I followed closer behind her, quickly ducking into a group of students when a girl from the potions class shouted Elle's name, giving Elle the quill she had left in the classroom.

James was still hid around the corner and I watched as he expertly moved around it as Elle turned another corner.

He's not half bad.

He quickly shifted to the nearby corner and looked around, signalling for me to come and look.

I swiftly stalked up to him, then rolled out from the corner to cross the entrance to the corridor, before standing back up and putting my back to the wall.

James was giving me a wide-eyed look, which I ignored in favour of observing what Elle was doing.

She was walking with the girl, chatting about how boring the lesson was before they reached an intersection of corridors, they waved goodbye to each other before they split, Elle going left and up a set of stairs.

James and I followed, dashing towards the staircase to see her making a turn and go up towards the next floor. I dashed slightly up the stairs, remembering to step lightly to remain quiet, and looked through the gap of the bannisters to catch a glimpse of Elle.

I caught her long hair as she went through a door, quickly running up the rest of the stairs.

James caught up with me as we took positions on both sides of the door. He opened the door a crack and looked inside to see where she was. He waited for about a minute before opening the door and slipping inside.

I followed quickly after him, shutting the door with a barely audible click.

These corridors were darker than the ones regularly travelled by students.

I followed James to yet another turn, looking around the corner to watch Elle walking down it, her shoes making a clip clop noise as she went.

This particular corridor was rather long, so I had to wait in uncomfortable positions, squashed behind tapestries and squeezing into the doorways, just in case she decided to turn around.

I commended James silently on his ability to walk around silently with his shoes on.

After a rather agonisingly tense stalking session, Elle took another turn.

We quickly caught up, looking around the corner for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

'Jackpot' I whispered.

There, stood halfway down the corridor was Sirius, leaning on the wall with his right leg propped up against it in the classic 'bad boy' pose.

If he had a leather jacket on, he could've passed for a T-bird.

I snickered at the thought of Elle and Sirius 'Summer lovin''

Elle smiled at him and picked up her pace to catch up to him.

This is it! This it! This is it!

She stopped in front of him and just murmured something too low for James or I to hear.

Cmon Elle, for just once, be a complete girl and swoon and make out with him.

…

Wow, I'm surprised that worked.