A/N: this chapter has not been beta'ed but hopefully will be replaced with the betaed version.

I also have some important news on this story and would like it if you could read the a/n at the end of the story so you will know what will be happening.

Enjoy - its all Edward and Bella

Chapter 10

Alice was right. Edward was never going to be that person with anyone.

I looked up at him laying out on Alice's bed stretched out with headphones in and his eyes closed. He laid with his legs slightly apart, his right hand, palm up, lying out by his side, his left hand palm down on his torso, absentmindedly rubbing at the fourth button from the bottom of his non-ironed black shirt. His mouth closed, making his lips pucker ever so slightly. His copper hair messed up after running his hand through it countless times.

I knew him, almost. I knew the furrowed look on his face as he read. I knew the slight tapping of his foot when he was listening to an up beat song through his ipod. I knew the frustrated look in his eyes as he studied his book of anatomy. I knew of his happy trail from when he gave a tired stretch one late night. I knew of how he would place his hands palm to palm and place them under his cheek with his closed eyes when he wanted to sleep but was waiting for Alice to arrive back through.

I knew him

Almost

It had been two weeks since he had said I was lying to him over my sleep and said for us to get to back to normal. Normal to him was not talking. So we didn't unless we needed to.

He would come into my room if he had been kicked out his own by Alice so she could spend time with Jasper. He would just walk in. I didn't jump in surprise anymore, if I was on the phone I would leave the room without a word and finish it there. If for some reason the door was locked I would open it up after he gave a small knock and he would silently walk past me at the door. Both never talking to the other, it's how he wanted it. It's how he got it.

I looked up at him as I doodled in the corner of my note pad, reading through my class notes. The spiral circle getting larger and larger, never completing itself.

It had been two weeks and I had given him what he wanted. It was only fair that now I could now get something back. I needed something; he made me so…so…curious. I don't know why but he just seemed to interest me. His life, his being, is presence, he just intrigued me.

I threw down my note book to the side of me, no movement from Edward as I looked up at him with his eyes still closed. I rose to my feet and walked over to Alice's bed before sitting down on it with a light thud at his side for his attention to snap to me.

I worked.

"What are you doing?" he jumped with a small fright as he pulled himself up looking at me in surprise.

"Making conversation." I shrug happily. We had all been out earlier and it must be the few drinks at lunchtime that I had that are giving me the encouragement I need.

"I don't do 'making conversation'" he pulled his knees closer to himself, looking almost afraid of me. I knew he wasn't though.

"We'll its time you learned to do something new." I smile at him feeling almost cocky.

"Are you drunk?" He asks with an almost amused look on his face. You can see he is trying to keep his stony complex up and it only encouraged me further.

"I'm reading notes on Shakespeare, what do you think?" I'm not drunk. Just slightly bold.

"Being drunk while reading Hamlet could only help." He let out a small whisper in amassment.

"Did Edward Cullen really crack a joke?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. You could see him relax slightly as his knees eased back down.

"Just don't tell anyone." He seemed serious. "Bella, what do you want?" he asked me after a pregnant pause.

"I just wanted to talk to you. You have spent almost the full fortnight in my room at night but you don't speak to me."

"Yes I do." he tried to argue.

"Not when were alone." I correct.

"We don't need to speak. I… I don't want to speak to you…" He trailed off and I felt hurt at his words. I had never thought he didn't want to talk to me. I thought it was just…him. I didn't think that he put up with my presence only to make Alice happy.

I nodded once, turning my face as I stood up again making my way over to my bed as I lay out on my front on my bed clutching at my pillow, my face facing the wall.

It was unfair that my one place I was able to hide was robbed. I didn't know how to act. I wanted to pull my cover around me and disappear into them. The only thing that was worse than him telling me he didn't want to speak to me was that he was witness to my reaction.

I needed to hide.

"Bella." I heard him call from behind me. I really wish he would leave. I ignored his words and closed my eyes tightly trying to block him out before I sat up quickly, grabbing hold of my backpack and note book and swiping my jacket off the back of my door as I rushed through it ignoring his calls to me.

I felt mortified. I wanted to cry. I felt a fool. All because of this one boy. Why could my curiosity not stop before I made an idiot of myself?

I pulled on my jacket as I rushed down the three flights of stairs and ran to my truck. I started the engine and reversed out the space and driving past the front of the building, seeing Edward reach the front door as I drove past him speeding slightly.

I was gone. He would never catch my direction if following me is what he had planned. I saw him stand there in only his shirt in my rear-view mirror and drove to my destination.

I looked at the clock reading eight o'clock and I knew I had a couple more hours before the library closed.

I pulled up outside and entered the grand building heading straight for the reading room to begin my study.

The room was empty and it laid half in darkness. The far ends lights had been turned off, most likely knowing that they wouldn't need all the light on as the room would never fill as it got late.

I sat myself down at one of the tables just before the rest of the room vanished into darkness, beginning to unwind as I flicked through the pages of notes and began to write the essay that was due next week.

I tried to keep my mind on the task but it fought with the shame I felt at Edward telling me he didn't want to speak to me. I felt almost tearful. I didn't know what I had done for him to hate me like he did. I tried to appease him by giving him space but it meant nothing to him. The only thing he wanted was for me to keep it up. He didn't want any polite conversation or getting to know one another at all.

I shook the thought of him out my head one last time as I continued to work away on my essay. This was my real place to hide. I could sit in tears here and no one would see me. I could, but I wasn't going to. Not over something as trivial as Edward Cullen.

I began to flick through my book looking for an extract when I heard him.

"You stupid bitch." His words filled the room as he came storming down the isle before stopping at my table, placing his heavy hands down flatly on the wood.

His eyes glared down at me as I looked up at him, right now he petrified me. You could almost see the steam coming out from his ears. I had no idea that I would have made him this mad. His voice calling me before I left the room was almost sedate.

"Do you have any idea what you have just done?" I let my eyes fall to the desk giving a small shake. I really couldn't think why that trying to talk to him would cause such a drama.

"I was just trying to have a conversation-" I began tryin to explain before he interrupted me.

He grabbed at my notepad, book and notes, gathering them in as I tried to fight them back out of his large hands. His strong arms holding a perfect grip on them mid air as I tried to wrestle them off of him.

"Leave me alone." I argued back pulling on the pages of my book ripping it at its paper spine.

"Move." He growled in my ear. I was going no where with him, especially not like this. He was scaring me and right now I cursed myself for going so far up the back of the room that I wasn't gaining anyone's attention.

"No." I stuttered as I looked misty eyed at my torn spine on the book. The other week he seemed almost heroic, pulling me from the clutches of James. Now, the thought of being pulled by his arms only flashed panic in my mind as I clutched to the ripped paper wad in my hand.

"Bella, you just drove here drunk." He gritted out from behind his clenched teeth.

I looked up at him in shock. Shit. I had driven here. I wasn't drunk but the alcohol in me would probably still make me over the limit even though it was about six hours from my last drink. But I had still driven here, I could have been pulled over, I could have lost my license, hell, I could have killed someone. I swallowed and felt pain in my throat at my recklessness.

I sat there open mouthed. I had been caught up with my own embarrassment I had forgotten all about the four drinks I had earlier. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid.

"I'm driving you home and I'm leaving now." His words were quieter but still firm and full of anger. I nodded numbly at him placing my torn book into my bag in a slow daze as he began walking out with the rest of my things still in his hands that I wasn't able to fight off of him. I couldn't care about anything right now; he could keep it for all I cared.

Charlie would kill me if he ever found out. I would have to listen to his drink driving speech for hours, hearing every grizzly detail that would leave me with nightmares.

Slowly I followed Edwards path to out side and I seen his car parked next to my truck with its headlights turned on almost blinding Edward from my sight but I could still see him sit there looking out the windscreen, looking past me with a clenched jaw. I walked up to the passenger door before getting in without a word, head hung low.

He pulled out sharp and drove too fast for the street we were in. "You're going to fast." I mumbled feeling frightened that he was letting his anger control his driving. I may have been careless tonight but it was unintentional. This wasn't.

"I'm a good driver, the street is empty." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm sober." He finished off as I felt his eyes land on me. I flinched at his cold tone and tried to ignore his words until I was in the safety of my own room. He wasn't getting back in there tonight. I didn't care if it would put a spanner in the works for Alice. She would survive one night. Or Edward could find a new place to brood.

We drove through the dark streets as he continued on, driving past our dorm as I looked on. "You missed it." I told him as he continued driving never answering me.

"Edward." I called at him but he ignored my words.

"Edward." I snapped my fingers in front of him, his eyes never losing their focus from the road in front.

"I know, ok, shut up and stay quiet." His tone was harsh and cold. He looked over at me but I kept my eyes on the road in front of me. I wouldn't let him see the effect his words could have on me.

We drove up for another few miles before he turned off and up into a park or something, parking up under trees.

He turned off the engine and his eyes stayed forward looking at a dark trunk of a tree that was barely visible in the night air.

I didn't know what we were doing here, but I wasn't afraid anymore. I knew his reason for his anger and knew that I would never be in any danger of him despite the shady destination.

I turned in my seat looking at him. I knew he was thinking of his words so I didn't press him. We sat there for a good five minutes, me looking at him or glancing around at the surrounding trees.

"I come here when I want to forget that I'm stuck in this over bearing city." He gave a brief glance at my direction before looking out the window again. "I know Forks has a lot of forest surrounding it, thought it might remind you of home a little."

He knew I missed home

Everyone knew I missed Jake and Charlie but I had never spoke about missing home, missing the lush green that I once couldn't stand. I missed my family but I missed disappearing into the trees and getting lost in my own world for a little while.

I never spoke; I just continued to look out the window taking in the trees that did remind me of home a little. It was nice, peaceful. And it really did make me feel that I was out of the city.

"I didn't mean to call you…you know what I called you." He struggled out with his shoulders tense as he closed his eyes before opening hem back up again.

"A stupid bitch?" I asked with a slightly pissed off tone looking at him. He flinched at me repeating his words. It was what he called me but I regretted repeating his words as soon as they left my mouth especially when I seen him wince. I wasn't helping him open up any.

"Sorry." He combed his fingers through his hair making a piece of hair fall back down further into his eye. I wanted to brush it away. "I followed you down the stairs hoping that you wouldn't get into your truck, that you would realize…" he looked up at me apologetically.

"How did you know where I would be?" I asked, curious. I thought I would have been safe hiding in the library. I didn't think I had told anyone about it being a haven for me.

He shrugged back in his seat, resting his head back. "Lucky guess, I thought that you might have headed there. I know you like the architecture."

My brows hunched forward as I looked at him wondering how her knew that. It was something else that he knew that he shouldn't. It didn't help with my curiosity with him. It only seemed to make my mind reel more. He obviously paid a lot more attention than he let on.

I chewed on my lip before reaching for the door handle, opening the door and getting out and standing before the bonnet of the car. The air had gotten colder as the first wave of winter began. It was nearing November and the air was freezing. Damp moisture filled the air and clouds of breath filled the space in front of me.

Edwards's door opened too, him joining me as he leaned against the front of his car, both our breaths clouding together.

"I like it." I looked up at the huge trees surrounding me with a small smile. The trees were the same thick bush that kept Forks green even on its greyest day.

We stood there for a moment in silence breathing in the cold air. "Thank you." I whispered out.

"For what?"

"For this, for coming and getting me when I made a mistake, for the trees," I turned to face him with a small smile "for the little bit conversation."

I knew what he had given me. He was trying to give something back as way of an apology. It was his way of an apology from our brief argument in the hospital too. It wasn't something solid that I could keep, something that I could hold or show off. It was his simple words, feelings and insight that I knew no one else had been trusted with from him. Least not the ones he had told me, I was sure.

He gave a small brief smile back and for a tiny second I could see through to the soul that he tried to keep so well hidden. I wanted to hug him, touch him, anything to let him know how much I appreciated it. But I never, I didn't want to ruin the moment we already had.

We stood there, both leaning against the front of the car gazing up to the tops of the trees and I felt a million miles from Seattle, I felt a million miles from Forks as well, Edward had taken me somewhere new and entirely different and I didn't know if I would ever want to go back to either, not right now at least.

"You know, throw some stars in the mix and I think I could handle living in Seattle for the rest of my days." That was something that had been lacking in Seattle, stars. There were too many bright lights and it made them disappear.

"Sorry, too much cloud tonight," he let out a little laugh it fading out into the night along with his cloudy breath before he began again. "You know, it's Esme's birthday next week. You should come home with us for it; she would like to see you again."

"I wouldn't want to intrude." I give a wary smile, thinking he may regret his impulse to make it up to me. That perhaps he was pushing himself further than even he realized.

He shook his head "You wouldn't, after you helped me she thinks your brilliant." he gave another small smile. I could collapse with shock if I didn't know it was out of guilt.

I gave a small nod agreeing before I had even realized it.

I gave a small shiver as a cold breeze blew across me. "Come on, I'll get you back home." He said as he made his way to his door as I followed his lead, making my way to my own side as I warmed up with the heater as he turned on the engine. Edward still only wore his shirt.

"I'll take you to get your car in the morning if you want." He looked at me hesitantly. "Or you could ask Alice…" I didn't know who he would prefer me to pick. I would have thought Alice but the tone in his voice seemed to tell me to pick him.

"Could you..?" I asked gently "You know so we wouldn't have to tell her, she would just worry." I shrugged as if it was nothing. It was, he was only going to drop me off at my car without mentioning it to Alice because she really would worry.

There was a brief conflicting thought that I wouldn't really mind Alice knowing, I could handle her wrath, and she was too bubbly to be angry with anyone. I wanted Edward to take me back in the morning, not Alice and I had no real idea why.

He nodded in agreement as he looked out the turning, checking that the road was clear before driving out on to it. "You know you need to be more careful Bella," I loved the way his voice spoke my name; it was like sugar, sweet but with slight gravel to it. "I'm not always going to be following behind you." His eyes briefly fluttered to mine breaking from the road and back.

I nodded shyly, feeling ridiculous for all the simple choices I have made wrong.

"Jake would kill me if he found out about either." I admitted. The fact that it was Edward that came to my rescue on both accounts would only grate on him more.

"I won't tell anyone, but just be careful."

"Jake is always telling me I'm a disaster, always falling over myself and getting into situations." I shrugged at the countless memories of Jake rolling his eyes at me.

"I wouldn't say you were a disaster, just a magnet for trouble." He gave a shy smile.

"I seen the way guys look at you and it makes me uncomfortable, there drawn to you." He doesn't look at me; instead he keeps his eyes on the road as we drive back to the dorm.

"Guys don't look at me, and are you saying all guys are trouble?" I waved off bouncing a question back at him. I didn't flinch for a second about it making him uncomfortable. He and the rest know only too well what other men are capable off after being witness to Roses breakdown a few years ago.

"I'm just saying watch yourself. Me, Em and Jazz cant keep you safe if were not there." His eyes meet mine again for a brief moment and I'm ready to fight my side. I don't know when he became so protective. Perhaps when he seen me walk straight into danger with James and knew that I struggled with common sense.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm-"

"Fine. Yes, I know. It's what you always say but it's not always the truth, Bella." His tone was a little jagged as he spoke my name, knowing he was right.

I looked out my window not wanting this conversation anymore, not wanting any conversation anymore.

I heard my room door open and heard the quiet steps of Edward walk in. I suspected he would be in tonight with Alice and Jasper planning the cinema. They must have arrived back home already.

As usual he said no words; I didn't even move to look at him, checking it was him. I knew from the sound of his walk, the smell of something that was only him and the way he was breathing that it was Edward. I could tell it was him even if a dozen guy's came walking through. I would be able to pick him out.

I lay on my stomach with my eyes squeezed closed trying to calm myself. I had only just gotten off the phone to Jake. I had explained to him about last night. About my drink driving. To say he wasn't amused would be an understatement. I think I would have actually got off with it lighter with Charlie if I had told him instead.

I wiped at the tear on my cheek determined not to let it get to me anymore. Not to let Edward see this, for him to pick up on it.

I heard him behind me shuffling around on the bed. I couldn't hear the gentle buzz from the headphones so I guessed he had come with a book instead tonight.

I let my thoughts float back to Jake as I knew Edward was distracted and had reverted back to 'normal' and wasn't talking. It was the first time I had felt grateful for our silence.

I thought of Jakes voice getting deeper as I tried to tell him about my error. I didn't even go into specifics except that it was Edward that had followed me and 'brought me straight back home'. He was mad that I had been so careless, mad that Edward was there and he wasn't. I didn't know if it was jealousy but his words were harsh and we ended up arguing, me telling him I could look after myself. Similar words to Edward the night previous.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe I needed a babysitter, someone following around me picking me up and setting me back down on the right direction.

The conversation ended with us shouting at one another and me slamming my phone closed at his constant berating. I couldn't listen to anymore of it tonight. We would sleep on it and it would be gone in the morning like all our silly arguments. I was positive.

I felt a shudder of emotion rack through me and swallowed a deep breath, more tears fighting to leave my shut eyes. I hated arguing with Jake. It tore me apart.

I heard Edward shift on the bed again and I wiped away one traitor tear that had escaped my watery eyes.

"Are you alright, Bella?" I heard his gentle tone fill the space between us and I nodded into my pillow acknowledging his question.

I never made any other movement or sound. I was too worried that if someone gave me sympathy I would break down like I normally did. It was always my reaction and I hated it.

I unintentionally gasped in a sob making my breath stutter, my face in the pillow not able to mute the sound completely.

I heard him move on the bed once again "Bella?" His tone was questioning but still gentle. I heard his quiet steps padding across the cream carpet, inching closer before I felt the edge of my bed pull down at the side with his weight sitting on it.

He called my name once again, patiently waiting for the response I never gave to him. I only pulled the pillow further into my face, wiping the tears off my cheeks and trying to still my deep breaths. I couldn't let him see me like this. Not after last night.

I felt a gentle grip at my arm and I let his hand stay there, he was trying to be nice I think, I wasn't going to pull away from him.

"Bella?" I heard him whisper by my ear, his breath making my damp cheek tingle.

"Talk to me." I could have laughed at that one. Now he wants to talk. When I try to hide all he seems to do is come seeking me out. I couldn't help it; I sniggered slightly at the irony.

His reaction was to pull at my arm again. He was still gentle, he could obviously feel my arm tense as it wrapped around my chest clutching my heart.

He gave one final pull, pulling me out from my corner in the bedding, opening me up to the room as I tried to close myself back down, hiding my face in my hair and refusing to turn it to meet the rest of turned body.

I sat up almost, the top of my body twisting to him as he still held onto my arm, my knees facing the wall along with my face.

He knew I was upset but I still fought to hide it from him. I didn't want to seem weaker than I already was in his eyes.

His other hand came through my hair, blindly looking for the side of my face to draw me towards him, to make me look at him.

There were no tears, I was sure but my cheeks were damp and hot from the ones I had blotted away. I felt my face being pulled in his direction and I couldn't fight it anymore. My head turned and met his two worried green eyes.

"Are you crying?" he asked softly though it was obvious. His thumb brushed at the wet below my eyes drying them some more.

I gave a weak nod before I gave into the comfort I needed and quickly crashing my face into Edwards's lower torso wrapping my arms around his waist. I didn't even think about my movement, my body reacted on its own away from my mind. Once my mind caught up I waited to be thrown off him, for him to burst into a fit of anger, but it never came.

I felt his hand land on my shoulder and instead of pulling me up, off of him; he rubbed his fingers in circles, soothing me as I felt myself relax into him further.

"Shh." He whispered gently trying to still my emotions. I couldn't help it, with that I felt another wave of tears wrack my body and a deep sob following it. He pulled me in to him more, my face running up against his blue t-shirt, my tears changing patches of the fabric black in the process.

He let my sobs subside before he pulled my face out from his chest, taking his warmth away from me.

"What's happened?" he asked worried looking into my eyes, gently wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb.

"I told Jake about my driving last night." I sobbed out as he broke his gaze away from me.

"Oh." He gave out "I thought you weren't going to tell him?" he looked back at me.

I shook my head knowing that I tell Jake everything. Well almost everything. "I thought I should…could." I corrected myself. I really thought I could have told him without the fireworks but I was wrong. I seemed to be able to tell him everything else that was so trivial. Why did this have such an effect? Nothing bad had come from it.

Jakes words echoed in my head again and if felt my eyes prick up at the sound my breathing stuttered and without another word Edward knew what I needed.

He pulled me back into his chest, his arms that last night scared me felt like the heroic ones that pulled me from James two weeks ago as they locked me into him, safely, secure, protected.

I tried to mute the next sob that came from me into his chest. I could feel his heart where my head lay, against his breast bone, and it should have been uncomfortable, but it wasn't. His grip loosened slightly as he moved my pillows before he pulled me tight back into him once again, bring me down with him on to my bed.

He lay down on his back as he pulled me close into his side with my head resting on his chest. His right arm pulled at he scrunched covers along the wall, wrapping them around me and part of him before he placed his hand into my hair, sweeping his fingers through the shallows of my head at the crown.

I relaxed against him and my breathing slowed, returning to normal and my sobs fading. My eye lids grew heavy and I could feel them drop, I didn't fight against it, I couldn't, I felt to peaceful where I was and I seized it not knowing if I would ever have this form him again.

I lay there against him in a sweet rapture as I fell asleep in his arms.

a/n: Ok people, A litle bit to tell you so listen up please so you will all know whats going to be happening with this story.

First, my lil Christina will not be beta'in me on the rest of this story!! sooo sad I do know but, I hope she will help me out on the next story I do - I still heart her 3!!!! huggles my little hunni!!

I will miss her amazing work but I plan to get this story wrapped up quick - It's not near the end!! dont worry - still a while to go yet but as some of you may know my health isnt the best and so I'm waiting for some big surgery. It could still be a few months untill I get called in but it could be a lot less so I decided I wanted to try and at least get this story fininshed because after the op I'll be in rehab and may not feel like writing for a while (or I may get so bored I churn out a saga of my own lol)

Anyway - the plan is for me to update as soon as I have finished writing the chapters without getting them beta'ed - I hope you dont mind too much - I know that she does killer work to my dodgy chapters but like i say I still have a lot of story to go and want to make sure you get to hear it all. I'm sorry if there is people reading and would prefer it to be beta'ed. I would too but like I say - I'm short on time!!

I do love this story - it was an idea that came to me as soon as I was reading the saga so had wanted to tell it for months so it does mean a lot and I'm really happy its my most popular story to date.

I will also be posting chapter 11 tomorow and 12 on Sunday as they are ready to go. Chapter 14 and 15 are being finished and tided up and I plan to start 16 very soon! like i say I plan update as soon as.

But please leave a review for me and let me know what you think of this chapter and I hope you are not too annoyed with me over my decisions and understand.

Love to Christina and all my lovely readers!

fd xx

PS - I will keep you all in the loop about my surgery and all things prior too it.