I was completely inspired and had this started a little while ago when I first heard this song. So now everything is coming together so I'm posting all I have that fits. Major, major updates I know... So I expect many reviews! School is starting tomorrow for me, so I may not update often. I have the chapters pretty much done, so it shouldn't be that long until they're up. But ahead of time, I'm sorry. I can't help but go to school.

To add: I'm not exactly sure what that last chapter was... I think I was on drugs or something when I wrote that... I have absolutely no idea where I was going with that. I'm taking a guess that she was having a premonition or... she was delusional... or something... I don't know. I'm sorry for all the mass confusion. xD
I'm entirely confused myself.

And To Krissy: LOL... No I seriously didn't know that. I didn't listen to them much when I was like 7 or something. I recently discovered that when I was sleeping over a friends house and she pointed it out to me because she hadn't known either until someone pointed it out to her.
But knowing that now, it's extremely obvious that, that's him... lolDisclaimer: I do not own anything in Summerland except anything I've mentioned that is mine. I also do not own the song "Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace. I'd say I also own the plot... but at this point, I think there is none xD

Remember: 10 reviews gets you the next chapter quicker... even if I haven't really been sticking too that too much. I've usually been waiting until the new chapter has been viewed 150 times [:

 Chapter 11: If We Fall Will We Waste Away?

(Nikki's POV)

I was extremely shocked to discover that Michael was adopted, let alone coming to live in Playa Linda. All of us had stood there for a while letting Michael's statement sink into our heads. We didn't get much more on the subject because Michael had darted off to go find his brother. I assumed it was to talk about being adopted or what not. Cameron, Amber and I all stood there for the next forty minutes in silence. Finally Amber decided she'd have to go home to get everyone out of her house. We all said our goodbyes then Cameron and I parted with Amber and headed back to Aunt Ava's. Not another word was spoken between Cameron and I the whole way home.

That night I puked my brains out and had a terrible headache and fever the next day. It turns out that someone had put something in my drink and I was having the aftermath taking the drug. Amber later told me that she got it out of the drunk guy that he had slipped something into the drink I had in my hand without my even noticing it. She didn't specify which one though, just told me I best not worry about it and I should be fine. Bradin and I decided that I shouldn't even drink anything at a party anymore because there's a very high possibility of me getting something slipped in my drink. We also decided that I was more of a suicidal drunk and drinking wasn't going to be a good thing for me.

It seemed as the week drug on, more and more problems arose with different people in the house. Jay and Erika currently broke up after she finally moved in with Jay and sold her apartment. So until she finds a new one she has to stay in the same room as Jay. I really don't want to talk about the brutality of all this "togetherness" they are experiencing after breaking up, but it's more than enough to listen to. Bradin is having major problems with Sarah because she was sent to a happy house and he is dying without her... or so he says. Little does anyone know that while Sarah is taking her leave of absence... Erika has stepped into the picture and keeping things hot. (No one knows I know this.) Derrick isn't allowed to see Martha anymore due to a photo found of my Aunt when they went snooping around. Aunt Ava and Johnny are having major problems getting over each other and the whole house seems empty because Johnny moved out. Then there's Susannah who's thinking about leaving Aunt Ava to go work with a big time fashion designer who can promise her a bigger job. To think this all started with my brothers and I even coming to this house... Even further back was my parents' deaths... and even further than that was the problem that the people at my parents work had... It could go on and on forever the list that led up to the problem we are faced with currently, like a ripple in the water.

That brings me to Cameron, my current problem. Problem may not be the right word for what I'm trying to get across, but he's more of a worry to me than anything. He's gone into somewhat of a depression and is no longer much fun to hang out with. I feel bad because he still feels so ashamed about his parents and whatnot. It's been about a week since they were admitted into rehab and Cameron doesn't want a thing to do with them. It seems like no matter what I do, I can't do anything to make him feel better. Plus now Michael's here and the question is ever present in his mind as to whether or not he is related to Michael. So, as of right now, I'm just giving him his space.

Which brings me to my dilemma. Michael. Michael moving to Playa Linda because him and his older brother didn't want to stay in Kansas anymore because of the terrible things that happened. Michael is always calling me now to hang out and I want nothing to do with him because that means Amber wants to tag along. I want to hang out with Cameron and Cameron wants to hang out with me, so we're good. Amber wants to hang out with Michael, but Michael doesn't want to hang out with her. Michael wants to hang out with me, but I don't want to hang out with Michael. It's like a misshapen triangle I guess.

I just really hope this all gets resolved soon because I'm sick of it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sun hadn't risen yet and I was already on the beach shaking so much I thought my skin would fall off. I walked to Spanish Cove and climbed on top of all the rocks and sat there. I watched blankly out at the horizon awaiting the sun to come up. This has become a routine of mine ever since two days after Amber's party when all these troubles surfaced. It hasn't been very many days that I've been doing this, but it feels like I always have since I've grown so accustomed to getting up this early and staying up all day until about 2 in the morning when I drop dead.

The waves were crashing harshly against the rocks today, a storm was probably in store for us today. It's amazing that I haven't even lived here for too long and I already know the beach and sings of weather and what not like the back of my hand. Even though I had lived in Kansas for all my life, I could never predict the weather correctly like I could here. It's not even like the environment is easier to read here than it was there... I just couldn't get each little sign to click with what it meant.

I let out a deep breath and blinked my eyes shut tight. I thought of my Mom and Dad and wondered what it was like to be dead. I wanted more than anything to see them again, to feel their presence around me just one more time. I was already starting to get a foggy image of my parents' face in my head like I was beginning to forget about them. The thought of this began to make me cry, something that always happened every time I thought about them. I cried for them just about every night or at least once everyday, it was inevitable. I couldn't help it, it was a hard blow to my heart and soul and I'm having a tough time healing.

Everyone else seems to be fine about their deaths now though, I seem to be the only one dwelling on it. Derrick has come to believe Aunt Ava is his Mom and Johnny is his father, but I can't blame him... they've fit the role quite nicely. Bradin... well I don't see much of Bradin anymore. I can't really be sure of how he's coping really. Ever since I moved here my tight relationship with Bradin deteriorated until it became what it is now, next to nothing.

It's getting harder and harder to comprehend that my once perfect life is gone. It just saddens me so much to know that my parents aren't with me anymore when I'm at such a young age. Of course, they would have left me eventually... but I had expected that to be once I had kids and most of them had grown up a bit. Not when I haven't even grown up already. It saddens me even more to know that they became victims of population control by a stupid drunk driver.

This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong, who would've guessed it?
I will not leave alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

I was too busy lost in my own thoughts to even notice that someone had approached me from behind. Whoever it was sat down next to me and copied what I was doing.

"How did you know I'd be here?"

"You always come here now... It's just a matter of thinking how you do."

I nodded. I didn't even have to look over to know it was Cameron who had found me. He was always good at thinking of things the way I would and always managed to find me when no one else could. That was one of the things I loved about him, he knew just as much about me as I did. Even if my knowledge of myself these days was very minimal, I always had updated him on how I felt.

"So why do you always come here?"

The sudden sound of his voice startled me. I thought about this a moment, searching for a good reasonable answer to my madness. "Well I really don't know... I guess since I can't sleep I come to the place most open around here... I guess I just feel like I'm closer to my parents."

Cameron wrapped an arm around me, causing me to realize how cold I really was. I cuddled in closer to him and began to shiver without noticing it. "Why don't we go home if you're so cold, Nik."

I looked at him and immediately thought of Bradin. He had always been the only one that had called me that, no one else even bothered. I then began to think about what Bradin was saying about Cameron the night of Amber's party. I couldn't even really be sure if he actually did say anything to me or if I really did talk to him but I remember it. He likes you too much to double-cross you... But what does he mean by that? I hadn't had a chance to ask him about it lately since he's always been off with Erika or Sarah... and then this new chick Callie or something.

"Nah, I'm not that cold... Just a little chilly. Plus, I'm all good now." I shot him a wry smile.

My mind was beginning to drift to my parents' deaths, something I hadn't thought about in a while. I kept picturing that dream I had been having for a few months after my parents had died. Gruesome details began to swarm into my mind of what actually occurred. My eyes swelled up with tears, sending streaks of salty water down my cheeks and onto my lips. Cameron's thumb was swept underneath my eyes to rid me of my tears. I gave him a tiny smile and sniffed.

(Cameron's POV)

It really pained me to see her crying especially over her parents again. I know I can't do much to sooth the pain, but I always try my best and she seems to appreciate that quite a bit. I haven't really been there for her since Amber's party, but I want to try and make up for that now. Nikki seems to have no one still. She wasn't speaking at all just more of sitting there in a zombie like state.

Nikki looked to me with empty eyes. "I can't keep living like this, Cameron.. I really can't."

"It'll be alright, hun. It just takes some time to not hurt so much... As cliché but, time heals all wounds. In your case, you have to heal a giant wound."

"Well, time is taking too long... The wound is too big to heal. It will always be there, and it'll only get bigger and bigger because I'll keep poking at it."

Even if I say "It'll be alright"
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

I just couldn't help but realize what she was truly referring to - she wanted to end it... all of it.

"Nikki! Don't say that... please..."

Nikki laughed, "But seriously... who here would miss me? Everyone in Kansas has forgotten about me," she stood up and kicked a rock. "I mean everyone here hasn't given a damn about me in the longest time. So why should I even hesitate?"

I looked away from her furiously. "Oh, is that the way you see it."

She hadn't heard me. "I mean... I should have done it already instead of sat here and talked to you. Maybe you shouldn't have saved me the night of Amber's party. Maybe you should have let me drown... Maybe I should be dead! Maybe, Cameron... maybe I just need to go and die."

Nikki ranted for some bit longer before finally I couldn't take her talking about killing herself anymore. "Y'know what? FINE! If you want to do it so fucking bad then GO! No one's stopping you! I mean hey, I haven't been sticking with you since you moved here. Listening to your every complaint. Listening to everything you had to say. Being the only one to care about you. So if that isn't good enough... then FINE. GO DIE! See if I care or give a damn."

I stood up and began storming off, not wanting to look at her anymore. I'm tired of being the only one who helps people out but never gets anything in return. I am entitled to have someone care back for me as much as I care about them. I couldn't help but care about Nikki so much though. It's hard to actually realize it and admit it, but I'm head over heels in love with Nikki. I her.

I heard loud sobs echoing in the sky and I knew it was Nikki. My heart couldn't let her continue to cry so, even though I didn't want to, I turned around and went back up to Spanish Cove to go see what she was up to. When I reached where I was sitting moments ago I found Nikki on the ground a shaken wreck. I squatted beside her, unsure whether I should reach out and touch her or just leave her be. I was completely knocked off my feet when Nikki tackled me in a full hug. I wasn't really sure what to do so all I did was hug her back and let her cry it all out. I guess I hadn't really realized how unstable Nikki was really after the whole thing with her parents and what's actually going on now.

I bit my lip, "Hey... what I said earlier... That was a horrid thing to say. I'm really so-"

"No. Don't apologize... I deserve it. I'm being a selfish baby. I should be grateful I have someone who cares about me as much as you do... Thank you... I don't deserve someone as great as you."

Nikki's eyes were downcast and her face seemed to be covered in a dark shadow. The sun was beginning to peak out from beyond the horizon, giving the environment a golden tinge. I was searching for the right words to say to her and when none came I just started babbling.

"I am sorry. That was cold. You didn't deserve my words but you do deserve me just as much as I deserve you... I just wish I would have realized sooner that there was something this wrong... Why didn't you tell me?"

No one will ever see this side reflected
And if there's something wrong, who would've guessed it?
And I have left alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

(Nikki's POV)

I couldn't tell him my true intentions on keeping everything to myself, he'd most likely get offended by it. I couldn't tell him that I didn't bother him with my problems because they weren't as important as his. That I didn't want to bother him because he needs to be comforted more than I do. That I can handle all my emotions and don't need to show any of them to anyone because they aren't worth the aggravation. That I can't tell him about my problems because I care too much about him and telling him will just make him upset because my problems are so deep that they can't be helped.

"Err... I don't know. Never came up I guess."

A quick lie. A quick excuse rather. Cameron looked at me a moment, trying to decipher whether or not I was just misleading him or being genuine about what I was saying. I doubt he could get any more emotions out of me besides depression though, I was too tired and upset for emotion reading.

The subject was dropped for the time being and we sat in silence. I turned away from Cameron and stared out towards the roaring ocean; body curled in a ball, arms wrapped around my legs. Cameron rustled beside me a few times, he was obviously wanting to say something.

"What's wrong?"

Cameron jumped at the sudden sound of my voice. "Err... nothing." I shot him a look. "Well... I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what I can do to comfort you is all. So far I've been very laxed in that department."

I shook my head, "I'm fine. Honestly."

Cameron turned my face towards him, "No. You're not. Nikki, I know you think your problems are no big deal but they are. Big problems like this don't just go away. They are always with you, even years after you seem to get over them. They will always be there lurking in the back of your mind. You always play everything down like it isn't important - that the problems of others come first. It's okay to be selfish once in a while..."

"If I needed that much help, I'd be dead by now."

Cameron looked away from me. "You would be if we hadn't rescued you at Amber's."

He said it. He went there. He said the one thing I've tried to overlook. The one thing I've tried to forget about. How can he just say that?

"You see Nikki, you do need some help. You can't just get over your parents' deaths in a day... It takes years and years to heal, especially at such a young age. You're at the age where you've lived with your parents long enough to be so hurt by it but not young enough to forget about them. You continue to hang onto that thought - death. My parents are dead as well. Not in the sense of yours, but in a different kind of way. But who is anyone to define what death is anyway? I see my parents as dead; mind, body, and soul. I reject them. Your parents are only dead physically. You still think about them and can still feel them with you, can't you? I don't think death is just one kind, I think it's made up in three. Physically. Mentally. Soulfully. You're parents are still with you constantly aren't they? You just can't physically see and feel them anymore, can you?"

"Well, yes. But there isn't any point in thinking of it that way because they aren't here. And all they will ever be anymore and for the rest of forever is dead. What's the point of thinking of it that way?"

"You have a reason to get up in the morning. Something to believe in. Something you can hang onto. Sometimes you don't need a physical thing there to live for, sometimes it's just in your heart. And believe it or not, that can be all that anyone needs..."

Even if I say "It'll be alright"
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

I had no idea where Cameron was becoming so inspirational from. I guess this is a way of pouring out his own feelings and frustrations without actually saying them. This is a way to help us both out.

"Cameron... You can still see your parents.. I can't. I think I need the physical being versus just in my heart."

"Nikki, when our time is up and the world swallows us into the dark... there you will see your parents again and you will have so much to talk about."

I looked away, tears becoming present in my eyes again. The thought of dying had always upset and scared me. Him saying it so cooly frightened and saddened me a bit.

"See on a tunnel vision look on this... I am more fortunate. My parents are still alive. But I don't see them as anything anymore. On a more open look on this, we are equal. If you think about it, you and I are almost the same person. Our parents are both dead, just in different forms. It's a terrible way to rationalize it all but in a way it makes sense."

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. "Is that your problem? Yours are dead as well? You feel empty inside but you don't want the world to know? You're hurting but don't want to just be blunt about it? So while you're trying to help me out, you're helping yourself."

Cameron seemed caught off guard by this sudden realization, like I wasn't supposed to pick up on it. He sighed, "It's a selfish way to - "

"No, it's smart and secretive," I interrupted.

"It's all I know how to do. I'd always be punished for speaking my mind at home. So, that's what I've come up with and it's all I know. After all the suffering, the loneliness, the desperation and my broken heart; you just wake up one day and see the world through different eyes. It's just unusual when someone lets you speak your mind."

"It's people that show you kindness that make you aware that you're not completely alone in life," we spoke in unison.

The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost can't get it back
The life we had won't be ours again

Cameron and I shared a smile, we understood. We had such an understanding of each other that we understood the other more than ourselves. Understanding and realization is a beautiful thing. I giggled as a school girl would when around her crush. Cameron laughed as well but only because I sounded like a tart.

It's amazing to find someone who gets you so much. Someone that truly cares about you and actually understands where you come from. Someone with so much in common with you there's almost no way you could possibly find a dull moment. Someone you can love. I am but so fortunate a person to have found my other half.

"That was kinda weird, wasn't it?"

I gave Cameron a smile, "Yeah. I can't say I've ever done that with someone before. I've always thought my own thoughts... If that makes sense."

Cameron laughed and embraced me in a hug, "You make me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you."

I hugged him back. "I know. You make me feel the same."

And more. You mean so much to me. Suddenly, Michael seemed to be lost. All my problems seemed to be lost. All I wanted to think about and be with was Cameron. Cameron. Cameron. Cameron.

(Cameron's POV)

She doesn't even have the slightest clue how much she truly means to me. I just wish we'd get to the point where she doesn't feel like she has to run away from her problems, that she can face them and I'll be the leader of the attack. I hope she knows that when she breaks down no one hears her the way that I do. I hope she knows that no one understands her and sees her the way that I do. It's amazing that I'm lucky enough to have someone to care about. That I have someone to be there for, and have be there for me. I'm so lucky to have someone that I understand more than myself. I'm more than fortunate that I have someone that I can love. I can't think about it enough, I love her.

Even with all the pain and suffering I had at home, knowing her... it makes it all worth it at the end of the day.

We sat at Spanish Cover for another while longer until we finally gave up and figured that the sun wouldn't be showing at all that day. The winds were steadily picking up and the sky was turning an intimidating shade of dark gray. There was a slight rumbling in the sky but no presence of rain. Tiny flashes of lightning broke into the ever darkening sky, causing me to blink my eyes it was so bright.

Nikki and I quickly exited the beach before we were struck by lightning or the sky broke lose. Even though no one was at my house we decided to go there and sit on the porch to wait for the storm. We shared some small talk before I pulled out a key and we went inside. The house was just as filthy, if not filthier, than when I had left. Beer cans and bottles still layered the floor. The air still reeked of smoke and booze along with body odor. I almost wanted to puke but then my nose suddenly became clogged and I couldn't smell anything anymore. As I looked around the whole house seemed dark and depressed. Piles of garbage lined the walls and furniture, leaving barely anywhere to sit or stand.

"Should we clean it?" Nikki suggested suddenly.

I looked at her, the thought not even passing my mind. "That might take too long."

She shrugged, "We've got nothing better to do. We have all day and then some. It'll leave the place all nice for your parents to return to. A place you'll all want to live in and leave no trace of your past life."

I considered it and nodded, "I doubt we have any cleaning supplies or trash bags though."

Nikki was already way ahead of me. She vanished into the kitchen and reappeared moments later arms full of cleaning supplies and kicking a box of trash bags. All items hadn't been opened or used, but I figured we'd need three times more to put a real dent in the house work. I gave Nikki a look as though I was saying how did you find those.

"When we were here that one time, I saw your mother go under the sink and I saw all these bright colors in this dark house. They really stuck out to me so, of course, I remembered where they were."

"You still seem to amaze me the more and more we are together."

Nikki blushed. "Now let's open some windows and get this place a little happier... even though outside isn't the nicest looking," Nikki laughed as she walked over to the dusty curtains and pulled them open. I wondered when the last time they had been opened was. Dust particles filled the air and we had to pull our shirts over our mouths and nose to keep from gagging. Once again, Nikki was prepared and pulled out face masks - from where I still don't know. I shook my head and smiled at her.

"I saw them as well," she said in a muffled voice after putting the mask on.

You fascinate me. It's amazing that even in the worst seeming situations, you still bring light to my life.

This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong...

Nikki and I started in the kitchen, stuffing old food into trash bags along with broken dishes. The kitchen wasn't as bad to clean because it was never used much due to the fact that we always had takeout or we never ate. It took us about two hours to sort all through the garbage and dust until the kitchen could pass as spotless.

Nikki and I walked outside a moment to get some fresh air. The sky was as it was before, only it was darker and windier. The air was full of moisture, but was easier to breath in than inside. After our five minute break we headed back inside to get some other cleaning done. Next we headed into the dining room, which was even cleaner than the kitchen. The dining room was mainly filled with books and such about growing plants. The whole room had flower pots scattered here and there as well as a few dead plants in pots. The room was covered in two inch thick dust, making my eyes water and become itchy. The room took about an hour to pass as spotless.

So far, we hadn't found anything out of the ordinary. But they were the two rooms that my family hadn't used much, so I shouldn't speak too soon. It took the remainder of the day to finish about a quarter of the family room. There wasn't much we found in there except various drugs and booze. I peered out the window and there was still nothing of the storm, it was only becoming more vicious.

Over a period of three days, my house was finally clean except for my bedroom and my parents bedroom. I was a bit embarrassed to have Nikki go into my messy room so we started with my parents room. As we opened the door it was as if we were looking at an old photograph. Everything in my parents room was old fashioned looking and had the same dingy grimy color as well. Nikki and I exchanged a look and headed deeper into the room. We had bought a giant supply of trash bags and cleaning things so there was no way we could run out.

I took a trash bag out of the box and waved it around to open it up, Nikki following suit. My parents' room was absolutely disgusting. I don't know what was more embarrassing; the fact that it was this disgusting, that I had to go through my parents' things or the stuff that we found in the room.

The room took about four and a half hours to clean. While cleaning we found; weed, marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, cigarettes, beer, cigars, porn (lesbian, gay and straight), pornos (same applying as before), condoms (both used and unused), sex toys, a gun, various types of birth control, blood-stained clothes, a bat, a shotgun, a butchers knife, a wig, a maid's outfit, thongs (both dirty and clean; both men and women's), high heeled shoes, and... the most heart breaking... a stack of pictures of me either ripped, written on, stained, punctured, burned. That was the worst of all we found, that hit me the hardest.

The floor and bed was stained with cum, blood or spilt liquid. I didn't even want to question what it was half the time, it would have grossed me out even more than it already was. I wondered whether my parents did anything in their room besides have brutal sex... judging by the stains and items we found in the room. I couldn't even look at Nikki my face was so red with embarrassment. That wasn't really something I wanted to do with a girl I had such a love for... at least if it was for my parents and it all had nothing to do with us.

I mentally smacked myself for thinking so dirty. Though, I couldn't help but notice how mature Nikki's body was. She had a very toned stomach, long slim legs and arms, slight protrusion of her cheek bones and a rather busty chest for her size. Her eyes were empty but full of life at the same time, showing me she was thinking of a million things. We hadn't spoken much the whole time we cleaned my house unless it was a joke about something we had found. Over those three days up until now, I had almost never left Nikki's side.

Finally, after a long waited three days, rain pelted the windows threatening to break them. Thunder boomed and shook the windows, sending chills down my spine because it reminded me of gunshots. Lightning was streaking the sky, jumping from cloud to cloud and down to the ground. The wind could be heard whistling outside and you could even feel the chill from the wind coming through the house that had no heat in it at the moment. Nikki crept closer to me, grabbing my arm tightly and shuddering.

"You alright?"

Nikki jumped, "Y-Yes."

I lifted up her face mask as well as mine and kissed her full on the lips. I slid it back down her face and smiled at her. "It'll be alright."

Thunder shook the whole house as it exploded outside. Nikki whimpered and squealed and practically jumped into my arms. "I'm scared," she said barely above a whisper.

Even if I say "It'll be alright"
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

I held her close in my arms and opened up my bedroom door. My room was fairly clean, probably the cleanest room in the whole house. It was rather messy but not very dusty and smelly. I shut the door behind me and we were encased in darkness and silence. My room didn't have a window but, for some odd reason, the lights all worked even though all the power was out. Plus, there wasn't anymore of a sound than our own heavy breathing. Ever since moving into this house my room always had power in it and always had an oddity about it that the rest of the house didn't. I dropped my face mask onto the floor and looked around my now trashed room. 'Kill the boy!' and 'Die boy!' was written in giant block letters all over the walls.

I bit my lip and spun around, gazing at how many times they had written it. It hadn't been there when I left, or had I just not noticed it? I squatted down and covered my ears when I suddenly heard those words ringing in my ears. They were said to me often and were now echoing in my ears as loudly as anything. Hot, salty tears streamed down my face as I began freaking out, begging the voices to stop.

It seemed like every time my home life came up, more and more problems arose. I could feel Nikki standing beside me and was pretty sure she wasn't sure what to do. After about another fifteen minutes, I calmed down and managed to stand up.

"Cameron..."

Nikki began to speak but I just stuck a hand up and shushed her. I didn't want to talk about it. Not here. Not now. There wasn't much to clean in my room except all the shit my parents left or hid in there. I hadn't noticed it before but my parents hid all of their drugs under a loose floorboard in my room - a totally cliché spot to hide anything. I figured that they put all their drugs in my room in case the cops showed up I'd get sent away. I sighed, the more times I came back here the less I thought of my parents.

After about an hour my room was spotless except for the harsh words of my parents etched on my walls. We stood in my room a moment, unsure if the storm was still exploding outside. We opened the door and discovered that it was even worse. There wasn't any use calling anyone because everyone's power was out except in my room. Nikki did try phoning a couple times as well, but the line was always dead.

We thought it would be stupid to leave the house in the middle of the violent storm so we just stayed at my house. It was a little weird to be in a house by myself in my room with a girl, but Nikki was too afraid to leave my room. It was amazing how silent my room was even though outside it sounded like it was the end of the world. We could hear slight booms every once in a while but that was about it. Evey time thunder sounded in my room, Nikki would shudder.

We shared some small talk for a little bit before getting into a more in depth conversation. Nikki seemed to lose her fear of the storm outside because she was completely focused on what we were discussing.

"So you're saying that when you sat down, you didn't notice that your once white seat was now brown?"

I laughed, "Nope, totally oblivious. Who would have thought someone put pudding on my seat so it looked like I shit myself in my khaki shorts."

Nikki began laughing insanely. I felt a little embarrassed about it, but at the same time it was good to see Nikki laughing again.

"You haven't laughed like that in a while... It's nice to see you a little bit happier," I said with a smile. "Even if it means I have to embarrass myself, I'd do anything to get you to laugh."

Nikki blushed at this and swatted a hand at me. I found this rather cute but said nothing about it.

"Ok, Nik, now you tell me something embarrassing."

Nikki thought a moment, scratching her chin lightly. "Hmm... Well when I was in fourth grade I brought my favorite doll to school. She was an American Girl Doll, Kit. I took her everywhere before fourth grade and when school hit I had a tough time letting go of her. So after a couple days I just kept her hidden in my backpack so no one would see her. Everyone, well the girls, was over dolls and were onto other things like boys or shopping and I was still stuck on dolls." Nikki paused, trying to think of how the rest of it went. "Well this one day a boy who didn't like me much went into my school bag and found Kit. He went and showed it to everyone saying how baby girl Nikki brought her wittle babydoll to school. No one had any sympathy for me, everyone just laughed. I began crying and demanding to get my doll back when someone pushed me, I fell into the kid who had my doll. The doll flew out of his hands and the head popped off. Ever since that day I'm still sometimes called doll girl."

I just looked at her, not sure if I wanted to kiss her or hug her or both. I felt so sorry for her, but I knew she wouldn't want to hear that.

"I guess it's not really embarrassing, more painful than anything."

I stopped, "You still have the doll?"

Nikki looked up at me with a childish smile, "Of course I do. She's in my bed."

I began laughing and she hit me. "No I'm not laughing about what you said, just how you said it."

We continued to share childhood memories with each other, the topics getting deeper and deeper as time passed by. Neither of us were growing tired so we figured it shouldn't be that late. Then the subject turned very touchy.

I looked at Nikki, waiting for an answer but hoping I wasn't pushing her too much.

"My worst memory..."

I nodded.

"I'd have to say Kit was probably among the worst. That was terrible I was constantly mocked for that. The teacher even sometimes jeered at me... I'd have to say that. What about you?"

I looked away, trying to come up with a bad one but not a disgustingly terrible one. I had many, many horrid things happen to me and all were equally bad... except one. I glanced up at Nikki who was staring intently back at me.

"The worst one?"

"The. Worst. One."

I sighed, "But Nikki... my worst one is worse than worst." I looked at her to see if she was letting up and letting me slide. Nope. I let out a bigger sigh and put my hands to my face, pulling them hard down it then letting them drop to my lap.

"My worst one involves my parents. My dad to be precise." I gave a look towards Nikki then let my eyes drop to the ground. I bit my lip. "Before my mom had lost her job she was constantly traveling everywhere for work. My dad had long since lost his, or dropped out of his, and resorted to drugs and booze - which my mom hadn't discovered his addiction yet." Another glance up, then back down. "W-Well this one night my dad got particularly drunk and came barging into my room. My dad had a beer in his hand and a key which could unlock my door from the other side because my doorknob was backwards so they could lock me in my room. I could always get out though so don't make that face at me..." I gave Nikki a tiny smile because of the baffled expression that fell across her face. "Well... he dropped the key in his pocket, chugged the beer and came over to me. I can't remember what he was saying because he was slurring his words so badly it might as well have been another language." I turned completely away, the tears starting to build.

"He picked me up out of my desk chair and drug me over to the bed..." I bit down hard on my lip in hopes the tears wouldn't come out so furiously. "He kept k-kissing me, telling me how much he l-l-loves me and d-d-don't tell mom and all this g-garbage. He took all my clothes off and got my tied on my belly onto the bed..." I couldn't finish it because I couldn't take thinking about the memory a moment longer. Nikki looked like she couldn't listen to another second of it anyhow because she was crying worse than I was.

She opened her mouth to say something but when nothing came out she shut it and threw her arms around me. I squeezed her tight in my arms and cried. That was the first time I had ever told anyone about it, besides my mother who hadn't believed me. That, or she didn't care. It was a terrible thing to think about again, but I needed to let someone know... someone who cares know.

I broke out of Nikki's hug and stood up. I really needed tissues. I looked around and saw none so I opened my door. Surprisingly the storm was completely gone and there was a beautiful day greeting me through the window.

"Eye of the storm." Nikki said suddenly behind me.

I nodded, "We should get home now-ish then I guess right?"

Nikki nodded again and we headed back to her house. By the time we got there the storm had already started up again, rain pouring down on us in buckets. Nikki was about to open the door but I grabbed her hand. I leaned in a gave her a passionate kiss on the lips.

"Thank you for listening to me. I needed to let someone know."

Nikki gave me a weak smile, "It's a shame no one knew about it sooner to get you some help... but I'm glad I was the one you told, not someone else."

Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

I settled down into bed, all the while hearing the storm ripping up outside. I rested my hands behind my head, thinking about our alone time in my house for the past couple days. We hadn't talked much but anytime we did always made life a little better. I smiled at the remembrance of Nikki laughing when I told her about pudding pants. Then my mood turned sour when I thought of my last story and the terrible memory that went along with it. With that, I fell asleep to relive that memory over and over as my greatest nightmare seemed to come to life in my dreams.

Some things in life just make you wonder... What would happen if you gave up? If you just fell down under all the weight one day and never got back up.. would you waste away to nothing?

I feel very inspirational. All I've done for the past month is motivate people to be happy or.. not be so extreme... I've decided to incorporate that into my story. xD

Also, I'm usually in a very bored mood when I write, which would make sense because nothing in my story is consistent OR makes sense. I have hundreds of ideas in my head for things to write and what to write in here and sometimes they get mixed up or the ideas play off of other ones and make a whole new one. If I'm really starting to make no sense for you guys please let me know and I'll try to be more consistent and have my story actually have a plot. But I must say, a big problem will arise soon with MANY surprises.

-See The World Through Different Eyes and BELIEVE-
lauren
xoxo