A/N: I'm SO sorry for not putting this up sooner. I just started school and needed to get settled and what not. I promise I'll update more often.
Puck sat on one of the couches in the living room, staring at the petite Brunette across from him. After he drove her back to his place, she had woken up. Now they were just sitting in silence.
"I'm really mad at you." Puck says quietly, glaring at Rachel. She looked at her lap and sighed.
Rachel doesn't really know what to say. She could give a long explanation. She could throw an insult. She could just ignore him. But all of those things were pointless. So she just settled with something basic. "I'm sorry."
He leans forward, his eyes softening. "You could've been hurt. I was scared, Rach. You didn't even answer your phone!" he says, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"Look, if I told you what I was doing, you would've stopped me." She explains. He rolls his eyes.
"Your right. The more people know about this, the bigger chance you have to be put away!" He hisses. Rachel takes a deep breath and scowls.
"We can trust Kurt, Noah. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She says. He laughs.
"You don't know that."
"He was the closest thing I ever had to a friend. I can trust him. I will trust him. No offense, and excuse me for my language, but I don't give a fuck if you trust him or not. Because I do, and that's enough for me." She replied, looking away with a small huff.
Puck couldn't keep the smirk from dancing across his lips. She was starting to act like the old Rachel Berry who he thought he'd never see again. And he loved it. He stood up and plopped down next to her, nudging her shoulder with his.
"Look babe," Puck paused, searching for the right words, "It's not that I don't trust Kurt. It's just that there's a bigger chance somebody could slip up if more people know."
She nods and gives a small smile, thinking about how he just called her babe, before standing up and heading to the kitchen. Puck grins, but it instantly falls.
"Whoa, whoa, wait. I forgot something." He says. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the razor he had been given earlier. Rachel's eyes go as wide as saucers.
"Where…where did you get that?" She stutters, her breath hitching.
"Kurt gave it to me. Apparently he rummaged through your backpack or some shit. 'Told me what you did during Glee club today." Puck narrows his eyes and glares at her. She looks at it for a moment and then makes a move to grab it, but he pulls it out of her reach and wraps an arm around her waist.
"Give it back! I need it! Give it!" She shrieks, flailing her arms around. Puck winces at the look of determination on her face.
"Calm down! Jesus, calm down, Rach!" He yells. "It's just a damn razor!"
Suddenly she stops moving and pulls out of his embrace, pacing back and forth.
"It's…it's not just a damn razor! It's my lifeline, Noah. I need it. Please, you don't understand! If I don't cut, I won't be able to know if I feel pain…I need to try and without the razor I can't! Please, just…please!" Rachel swallows, staring at the item in his hand as if it were made of gold.
Puck just stands there and looks her up and down. Here he was, standing with a razor in his hand. And there she was, fucking begging for it, claiming it was her lifeline.
"Rachel…you don't need this." He whispers, slowly walking over to the trashcan and dropping it in. She looks at him with this look of desperation, with this look of pure and utter misery that it makes him want to kill everybody that's ever done anything to her. He takes a step forward and puts his hands on her shoulders, looking straight in her eyes. But he's disappointed when she jerks backwards. "Rae…"
"It's been a long night. I'm going to bed if you don't mind." She mutters, stepping onto the first step on the staircase and giving Noah a long glance before trudging up.
He sighed. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be Rachel. Annoying, ambitious, dramatic Rachel. And he was supposed to be badass, heartless, rebellious Puck. In McKinley high, people like Puck didn't associate with people like Rachel. It just didn't happen.
But Puck couldn't stay away from her. It was like that lame, yet incredibly depressing invisible tether speech Ms. Sylvester had given at her sister's funeral. He felt connected to Rachel somehow, like being with her was the most natural feeling in the world.
Puck shakes his head and sighs before slumping back on the couch and falling asleep, thinking of Rachel.
….
Blaine knew Kurt.
They'd been dating for a little over a year now, and he knew Kurt better than the diva knew himself. He knew that Kurt was allergic to mushrooms. He knew that Kurt loathed Thursdays. . He knew that Kurt was a sucker for John Mayer.
So, naturally, he also knew when something was wrong.
The two boys had been studying in Blaine's dorm for about an hour now. The lead soloist kept glancing up at his boyfriend, only to find his blue eyes unfocused on the work in front of him. Blaine's eyebrows furrow and he leans across the desk to take Kurt's hand in his.
"What's wrong?"
Kurt's eyes glance upwards when he feels a warm hand intertwine with his. "Nothing, Blaine. I guess I'm just tired."
Blaine gives a sad smile. "No, when you're tired, you complain a lot. You've been awfully quiet tonight." He explains, his thumb lightly brushing over Kurt's knuckles. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Kurt swallows the lump in his throat and drops his pen. (Which was tastefully covered in little rhinestones). He opens his mouth to respond to his boyfriend, but nothing but an exhausted sigh comes out.
"Whoa, are you feeling alright?" Blaine asks, leaning further to press a hand to his forehead.
"Blaine…It's nothing. Really. I've really got to get this algebra homework done, so…" Kurt trails off as Blaine pulls away his binder and ignores the subject change.
"Is it Karofsky again?"
His voice was deadly calm, and Kurt knew that he was trying not to let his anger seep through. Kurt tightens his pale fingers around Blaine's and offers a weak smile.
"No. He hasn't done anything to me." Kurt assures. Blaine nods and he feels the anger float away when he sees the smile on his gorgeous boyfriend's face.
"I'm sorry…I just can't bear the thought of you getting hurt."
"I know. But you've got nothing to worry about." Kurt murmurs. Blaine returns his binder and the two return to their work.
Kurt closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a silent breath. It had only been a day since he'd learn what happened to Rachel, and he was dying to tell Blaine. Mostly because Blaine understood him. They've both went through the same triumphs, and he felt like he could trust Blaine more than he could trust anyone in the whole world. He felt something wet slide off of his chin and land on his algebra book with a soft splat.
"Kurt? Why are you crying?" Blaine asks, immediately leaping out of his chair and crossing to the other side of the desk so that he could wrap his arms around the sobbing boy. "Shhh, it's alright."
And Kurt feels so utterly stupid and childish letting out choked cries into his boyfriend's chest, but a tiny sliver of him finally feels relieved. He smiles and gently rolls his eyes at the soft reassurances Blaine was murmuring into the shell of his ear. Kurt pulls away and wipes away the remainder of his tears, even though new ones keep coming. And he looks at Blaine, whose face just reads pure concern, and bites his lip.
"Blaine…can you keep a secret?"
…
Rachel takes a deep breath as she pulls her locker open and reaches for the books she needed for the day. Noah hadn't said a word to her this morning; they'd just gotten ready for school and drove in silence. Now, she stood in silence in front of the tan locker alone, with her books in her hand, ready for her classes. She subconsciously stares at her indigo nails, the corner of her mouth twitching into a weak smile as she remembered the bubbly blonde who'd done them for her. She looks up when she feels a pair of eyes on her.
"Hey." Puck says softly. Rachel takes a deep breath and offers Puck a fraction of a smile.
"Hello, Noah."
"Ready to go to Glee club?" She swallows the lump in her throat and nods. Puck holds his hand out and she stares at it for a moment with a raised eyebrow before letting her hand intertwine with his.
They walk through the cluttered hallways together in content silence, allowing the loud conversations, locker slamming, and a few (innapropriate) slurs to fill their ears. When the two singers get close to the choir room, Rachel feels a hand press down on her books and she looks to see them scattered across the floor, several kids kicking them far away without even realizing.
"Whore." Karofsky mutters as he walks past with a smirk. Puck sees red and before Rachel has time to stop him, he's got the football jock pinned to the floor, landing several perfect punches on his jaw.
"Noah! Stop it, get off of him!" She yells, weakly grabbing at his bicep. Puck growls and Karofsky socks him in the face.
"I told you twice, you fucking douchebag. Twice. I shouldn't have to tell you again to leave her the hell alone." Puck hisses, proving his point by adding yet another punch.
"What the hell is going on over here?" Coach Sylvester shrieks, marching over to the two boys with a sneer on her face. She easily rips Puck off of Karofsky and holds them by arm's length. "Stupid teenage delinquents. In my office, NOW." She spits, pushing the two boys in the direction of her cheerio office. Puck gives Rachel an apologetic look and walks down the halls, glaring at Karofsky the whole time.
Rachel takes a deep breath and humiliatingly picks up her books before walking into the choir room, alone. Brittany is sitting next to Santana, and gives a small wave to Rachel. Santana just glares at the diva with a cross of her arms. Rachel sighs and trots over to the seat in the back of the room.
"Good morning, guys! Alright, so we-," He pauses once he sees Rachel. "Rachel. And why are you here? In order to be in the choir room, you have to be a member of the Glee club."
Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I kicked you out yesterday, remember?" He asks. "Oh, alright. I'll allow you to audition again. Come on up, sing a song, and you can stay."
"Mr. Schue, that's really not fair…" Mike says, his face contorted in shock. "Why does she have to sing? We already know she's amazing." Rachel feels a small smile tug on her lips.
"It's mandatory for every member to audition. Now c'mon, let's go." Mr. Schue says with a clap of his hands. Rachel hesitantly climbs out of her seat and stands in the middle of the room. With a motion of his head, the band starts to play the familiar opening to Katy's Perry's hit single "Firework." Normally, Rachel would've been gushing over the song. Now she absolutely despised it.
Several pairs of eyes watched her. Raised eyebrows shot up. Rachel felt the sudden urge to vomit, and it took everything she had to even stand on her own two feet without falling over. She opens her mouth to sing the first line, but nothing comes out. The band continues with the song with confusion spread across their faces.
And she's trying. Trying so hard to force the words out of her mouth. Trying so hard to imagine Noah sitting there, giving her an encouraging nod. Trying so hard to block out the whispered comments of her fellow glee clubbers. Rachel lets out a choked sob and before she knows what's going on, she's running down the hallway. Her converse slap against the floor, filling the silence. She closes her eyes, but as she turns the corner, she runs into a body.
"I'm sorry…" She whispers through her sobs, attempting to move out of the way and get to her car. But the other person just softly grabs her arm.
"Rachel…what's the matter?"
…
"No. There's no way! Are we talking about the same Rachel?" Blaine asks, pacing in front of his bed. Kurt nods and wipes away a stray tear with the back of his hand.
"Yes, Blaine. Rachel Berry tried to kill herself." Kurt whispers. "Puck found her, and he's helping her now. You can't tell anyone. You know that, right?"
Blaine sighs and grabs his head. "Kurt…this is serious."
"I know. But I don't think we'd be doing her any good by telling an adult." Kurt reasons.
And Blaine knows this is true. He just can't imagine Rachel sitting in a dull hospital in one of those boring hospital gowns with several identity bands around her wrists. He just can't.
"Can I see her?" He asks. Kurt nods and pats the spot on the bed next to him. Blaine immediately complies, wrapping his arms around Kurt and pulling them down so that his head was on Blaine's chest.
"I'll text Puck and see if she can come over my house tomorrow. Maybe we can grab some coffee. He's not going to be happy with me, though. Since I told you."
"And Rachel?"
"She probably won't mind. She loves you." Kurt says softly. Blaine nods his head and the two just lay there in silence. A couple minutes pass until Blaine see's Kurt's shoulders shake and feels his shirt get wet from tears. He sits up and takes Kurt's face in his hands.
"What's the matter, love?" He asks.
"I can't believe she did this. I should've been a better friend to her. I should've stopped the Glee club. I should've done something. I should've…I should've…"
"Kurt, stop. You didn't know any of this was going on. Don't blame yourself. Please, don't." Blaine whispers, kissing one of Kurt's tears away.
"I could've done something!" Kurt says loudly, his voice cracking at the last word. Blaine swallows.
"From what you told me about yesterday, you've been the best friend that she ever could've asked for. I'm not going to let you beat yourself up for this, sweetheart. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. This is not in any way your fault." Blaine whispers. Kurt nods, but lets out a sob. Blaine sighs and pulls Kurt back into his arms, gently rocking him back and forth as Kurt cries in his chest. He doesn't let Kurt see the single tear that falls from his eyes.
That's how they fall asleep, entangled in each other's arms.
….
Emma Pillsbury was a very observant person.
It was a rather good trait to have at times. For example, she was really good at telling whether or not a person was lying. In fact, it was like a second nature to her. She could see the sliver of guilt in their eyes. The ways they move their hands and advert their gaze were also big give-a-ways.
Observation was something that every good guidance counselor needed. It was a way to be able to decipher a problem without the person even having to mention it.
Emma walked through the silent hallways, her small red heels clunking against the tile floor. Her pencil skirt is smoothed out and her blouse without a single wrinkle. She feels good. That is, until she runs into a sobbing mess.
"I'm sorry." The girl whispers, attempting to step to the side and leave. Emma grabs her arm and looks her in the face.
"Rachel? What's the matter?"
Rachel opens her eyes and lets out another sob, unable to answer the guidance counselor's question. Emma just softly leads her back to her office and sets her down in the chair across from her desk before sitting down in her own.
"Why are you crying?" Emma asks gently. Rachel chokes back a sob.
"I'm scared." She whispers. Emma notices the sadness in her eyes and stifles a gasp.
"Of what? What are you scared of?"
Rachel searches for the right words. "Myself. I'm scared of myself." Rachel sobs again and she feels like she's going to pass out. "I need…Noah. Please, I need Noah."
Emma swallows and stands up. "I'll get him for you. Just wait here, I'll get him for you." She runs through the hallway and stops at Ms. Sylvester's office before cracking the door and peering inside.
"What do you need, ginger?" Sue asks, sarcasm dripping in her voice. Emma resists the urge to scowl.
"I need Puck." She says. Sue raises an eyebrow.
"We're in the middle of a conversation here."
"You don't understand. I need Puck. Now." She demands. Puck shoots her a questioning glance. "It's Rachel."
Puck immediately stands up and crosses over to the door, ignoring Sue's protests. Emma leads him down the hallway and into her office, where Rachel Berry is still sobbing in the chair.
"Rach? What's the matter?" He asks, kneeling in front of Rachel and taking her hands. She shakes her head, too emotional to answer. He turns to Emma. "Can I take her home?"
"Of course. Go to the office and ask for a pass for the rest of the day." Emma replies. Puck stands up, gently pulling Rachel up with him, and snakes an arm around her waist. He half carries her to the office, and they sign out for the rest of the day. When the two reach his car, he places a comforting hand on her knee.
"Please, talk to me." Puck pleads.
"I can't do this. I can't." Rachel whimpers. Fat tears roll down her face.
"Do what, babe?"
"This! Life! I don't know, I just can't do it anymore!" She yells. Puck groans and rolls his head to the side.
"You've been doing better. Don't give up now." He reasons.
"Better? BETTER? Yeah, because cutting myself is progress!" She screams. Puck flinches but keeps his hand on his knee. Rachel's tone softens. "I…I'm just tired. Please, take me home. Please."
So Puck complies and the two drive home in silence, the only thing to be heard were the soft sniffles Rachel was making. When he gets to his house she immediately runs to his room and falls on his bed. He stares at her for a minute, questioning whether to leave or not. Imagine his surprise when she grabs his hand.
"Hold me. Please."
So he does. He crawls into bed next to her and hesitantly wraps an arm around her, giving her time to pull away. But she just rolls over and buries her face into his chest. They stay like that for a while, him just listening to the sound of her breathing. That is, until he hears the vibrating of his phone. He groans.
"Hello?"
"Okay…so don't get mad at me. I may or may not have told Blaine about Rachel." Kurt mutters over the phone. Puck's eyes widen.
"What?" He hisses.
Shit. Just what he needed.
A/N: Sorry for the horrible ending to the chapter. Couldn't think of any other way. But OMG Klaine! So adorable