A/N: JE owns these characters; I am a friggin nut who likes to play a bit with them. Also credit needs to go the late L. Frank Baum for his characters from The Wizard of Oz. There is a place in Beech, NC called Land of Oz; I have changed it using poetic license to fit it in with this story.
Thanks to Jenny for her wonderful beta skills.
Follow The Yellow Brick Road- Chapter 11
We followed the yellow brick road for quite a long time when we came upon a magnificent sight. A city made of sparkling green glass that shone brilliantly from the sunlight. It looked magical and I hoped Rangewiz could help us all out.
There was a solitary Plumkin at the guardhouse that bore a startling, uncanny resemblance to Randy Briggs, the federal treasury agent that has assisted me from time to time during my cases. This Plumkin calmly but firmly told us that his name was Brig-guard, personal guard to the great and powerful Rangewiz of Oz. Impatience lined his face as it seemed that he would rather do anything else but deal with the five of us: Grandma Bobo, Hal-crow, Tin-tank, Albert-lion and myself.
He informed us in an irritated voice that Rangewiz never ever had audiences with people until after he had his morning run, conference meetings, apprehended a skip or two, did a redecorating job and surveillance on a subject until after one o'clock in the afternoon. No one was admitted without an appointment under any circumstances. Brigguard said if we insisted, he could pencil us in for an appointment at half past two, but that was highly unusual. These appointments were hard to come by, but there was a last-minute cancellation, so we were very lucky.
It was imperative that we see Rangewiz as soon as possible. Time was of an essence because I desperately wanted to go home. Grandma Bobo needed to be separated into Grandma Mazur and Bob. Not to mention that Halcrow required a brain, Tintank a heart and Albertlion some courage.
We needed to kill some time so we started to brainstorm. Tintank and Halcrow wanted to play paintball but with my killer ruby-red stilettos, I couldn't. Plus, I had been there and done that, although it hadn't been my activity of choice. Once upon a time, the webmaster had insanely chased me with paintball guns and real loaded guns, threatening my life. Albertlion also vehemently refused, saying it was too messy and scary to play paintball. So, that idea was scrapped and we discussed some other options.
Albertlion wanted to go shopping because his wife Valerilion had given him a list of things she desired him to get. They had a little baby at home and needed a lot of supplies. I can always get on board with the thought of a shopping trip, so it was fine with me. Both Halcrow and Tintank had scowls a mile long on their faces, like they were being eaten alive by piranhas and Grandma Bobo said that he/she wasnt allowed in most stores, so we decided to do something else.
The activity we did settle on was very surprising. Not in a million of years did I think that such macho men like Halcrow and Tintank would ever do something like that. We decided to go to the spa for special pampering and to impress the Rangewiz.
It was said that Rangewiz was the handsomest man alive. I had never seen him, but his reputation preceded him. They said that he didn't smile much, but when he did, it contained enough wattage to provide electricity for the entire city. Emerald City was very large so I figured he must have a terrific smile. I would have to judge it for myself when I finally met him.
Everybody needed their own beauty regimen because we were all so different. Grandma Bobo and I really needed to get cleaned up. We had both been pretty roughed up by the cyclone, so a day of pampering sounded really good. Grandma Bobo required both the services of a dog groomer and a regular beautician to take care of him/her alone. I needed a lot more work, as my hair made a rats nest look good. It was knottier, frizzier, and puffier than it had been ever before. Some tender loving care would certainly go a long way into taming my mop-top.
That wasnt the only part of me that could use some attention. I was all disheveled and dirty due to the run-in with the cyclone. The wind and dust from the tornado played havoc with me in other ways as well. My muscles ached from being jostled around from the force of the storm. I hurt in places I didn't even know I had. So yeah, being pampered in a spa was sounding better and better with each passing moment.
At the spa, I was covered by a variety of substances. For the first time, it was a positive rather than a negative experience. A mud-bath was first, followed by a seaweed wrap, then a whirlpool in jasmine-scented water, a massage with honey almond-vanilla moisturizing oil and finally, an invigorating shower with seven different shower heads. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. My tightened muscles had relaxed and I felt much better. For the first time since I got caught up in the tornado, I felt great.
A manicure and pedicure capped off the experience and I was ready to get dressed. Boy, what a dress they gave me to wear! It was breath-taking, one of the prettiest dresses I had ever seen in my life. The dress was black and red. Tight-fitting, it clung to every curve of my body, accentuating what my mama gave me. Finishing off the outfit was a pair of thigh-high, sheer, black stockings with red ribbons on the thighs and my ruby-red, black trimmed stilettos. I looked and felt hot. Maybe Rangewiz had met his match, because I had never felt so attractive in all my life.
When it was nearly two o'clock, we all quickly reassembled in the bustling main square of Emerald City. Each of us had been beautified within an inch of our lives. We looked marvelous!
Grandma Bobo's face looked stunning. Her makeup had been applied flawlessly by a licensed cosmetician. As a result, Grandma looked to be younger than her years, maybe in her sixties. This special treatment knocked off at least a decade or two from her age. Her newly cropped hair had been freshly dyed and permed, which framed and flattered her face as well. It wasn't the usual Afro cap that Grandma usually got. Instead, it was loose,flattering waves of silver-white hair. Bobs orange fur had been washed and trimmed. Grandma Bobo's day at the spa made his canine body look less like a messy frizz ball and more like a well-kept dog, who now smelled good for the first time in years.
Everybody had their own specially designed regimen of treatment. Tintank had his tarnished skin treated, making all the orange rust spots miraculously disappear. Then his silvery body had been polished and buffed until he glowed and shone like a mirror. In fact, if you were close enough, you could see your reflection in his skin.
Halcrow was stuffed with new hay that smelled freshly cut and was sewn up with neat, straight stitches. His clothes had been washed and pressed. Halcrow became the spiffiest scarecrow that I had ever seen. Albertlion was bathed and his hair was styled to minimize the bald spots. We were all relaxed after being primped and pampered within an inch of our lives. We were ready to take on the world, even Rangewiz.
After admiring each other with appreciation, we were all impatiently ready to meet the great Rangewiz. We started the short walk back to the Rangewiz's magnificent emerald green palace. We walked briskly and were back at the guardhouse in no time flat. This time, Brigguard hurriedly ushered us right in, mumbling something under his breath about not having all day for us to come in. We couldn't understand his displeasure, since we were early for our appointment to see Rangewiz. Before we had left for our beauty treatments, Brigguard had suggested that we should be early for our appointment, since Rangewiz valued punctuality. We heeded Brigguard's suggestion and we now had time to spare.
We walked into a cold, cavernous hall of polished white marble with specks and swirls of gray embedded in it. It was eerily quiet and the only sound we heard was our footsteps echoing as we walked. I could taste my fear, almost a metallic taste in my mouth, while we waited to see such a powerful he'd be able to fix all our problems. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop my trembling knees from knocking together as we waited. There in that cold hall, we anxiously waited for our audience with the omnipotent wizard of Oz, Rangewiz. We were all together, but were all lost in our own thoughts on how we wanted Rangewiz to help each one of us.