-Ponyboy's POV-

As soon as I saw the hospital sign come into view, I wanted to push down Darry's foot on the gas petal and drive far away from here. I would rather be anywhere than the hospital right now. I was in the middle spot of the truck, with Darry in the driver's seat and Soda on my right. Just like it always has been, and always should be. My legs were getting too long to sit in the middle, but right now I didn't complain. It was nice to be sandwiched in between my brothers. Two-Bit and Steve were coming along with us too, but they rode behind us in Steve's car.

Darry swung the truck into a parking space and let it idle a few seconds before shutting it off, which is something he never does. Seems like he was trying to stall for as long as he could too. Didn't last too long though, because soon enough he exited the truck and motioned for us to do the same. Soda gripped the door handle and shut his eyes like the simple movement pained him. He closed the truck door so weakly that it didn't catch and Darry had to do it again. This surgery couldn't come soon enough.

Darry checked Soda in for surgery and the nurse walked the five of us to Soda's room on the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. She slapped a hospital band on Soda's wrist, solidifying his stay here in the hospital. She asked us some questions about Soda's previous medical history, if he was on any medications, our parent's medical history, and other information. After she was done, she made some notes on Soda's chart and left us alone in the tiny, bland room.

The room was drab, and the gang saw it. Everything in the room was a lifeless off-white color and the only piece of furniture were two plastic chairs that looked like they have been there for years. I was glad Soda wouldn't have to stay in the hospital for too long after his surgery. Otherwise, I would have brought some of his favorite drawings from home to cheer the room up.

"Hey this ain't so bad," Two-Bit said. I knew I could count on him to attempt to lighten the mood. "Think of this like a hotel. You got your own private room, and meals that are brought to you on a tray and a hot nurse who will wait on you hand and foot."

"That nurse is like thirty-five," Steve said, starting to take a whack at Two-Bit, then he remembered where he was and put his hand back at his side.

"Yeah but did you see the rack on her though?" Two-Bit brought his hands up to his chest and made an obscene gesture, which made my ears get hot and Soda crack a small smile.

"Guys," Darry bellowed. "Doctor Wilson is at the door."

Two-Bit brought his hands down and put them behind his back, just as the Dr. stepped into the room, which made Soda smile even more.

"Well Sodapop," Dr. Wilson started. "I'm glad to see that you're ready to go this morning."

"I'm ready as I'll ever be," Soda said, his smile faltering some.

"Good. I'm going to take your vitals, then in about an hour or so, a nurse will be ready to take you back for surgery." I watched as the Dr. maneuvered his way around the room, taking Soda's blood pressure, temperature and three other procedures that I wasn't sure of. He seemed satisfied enough and made a few notes on Soda's chart.

"Have you eaten anything in the past twenty four hours?" The Dr. asked.

Soda shook his head no. "I wasn't hungry anyway."

"That's to be expected. And I see by the slight appearance of beard that Darrel informed you couldn't shave this week?"

Soda nodded.

"That's just because we don't want to have any risk of blood loss before heart surgery. Everything looks good to go boys. I am expecting a smooth surgery today." Darry shook Dr. Wilson's outstretched hand and we all watched as he left the room. It felt as if all the air got sucked out of the room, and nobody knew what to say anymore.

I felt so useless. Soda has been there for me through everything. He held my hand when I was a toddler and took my first steps, he bought me an ice cream cone with his allowance after I broke my wrist, and he held me while I cried after a nightmare. But now, he was the one who needed me and all I could do for him was hold his hand and tell him everything would be alright. Soda always did so much for me, and now I felt like I was letting him down when he needed me the most.

A nurse, the same one who Two-Bit was admiring, came into the room to take Soda down to surgery. As she prepped Soda for surgery, all these horrible thoughts leapt into my head. What if something went terribly wrong? What if the surgeon damaged+ his heart even further? What if he died? No. I couldn't think like that when my brother was still here, living and breathing.

Darry scooted his chair over to where he could still hold Soda's hand. "You'll be alright. Pepsi-Cola." He soothed Soda's nervous by pushing his bangs off of his forehead, which seemed to be working fairly well. Soda was the natural caretaker in our family, but Darry wasn't doing too badly.

"Come here Pony." Soda gestured for me to come closer to him. He wrapped his arms around my back and ran his fingers through my hair. "This will be over and done with soon enough. I'm sorry I'm worrying you," he whispered so softly I doubt anyone else heard but me. It amazed me how Soda, who was lying broken in a hospital bed, was worried about me.

"I know you will," I whispered back, and wriggled out of his grip so Two-Bit and Steve could say their goodbyes, which I hoped wouldn't be permanent.

"See you later, buddy," Two-Bit patted Soda's knee and Steve did the same.

"We'll see you in a couple of hours," Steve assured.

The nurse pulled the railings up on the side of Soda's bed, and it sort of looked like he was in a crib. "I will taking Soda down to the holding room before his surgery. There, the anesthesiologist will give Soda something to relax before the actual anesthetic is administered. However, I can only allow family from this point on."

"Alright," Soda said, letting out a nervous breath. "Let's get this over with."

Two-Bit and Steve stepped out of the way, and the nurse wheeled Soda out of the room. I kept Soda's hand entangled with mine the whole way down the hallway. I wasn't sure if this was for Soda's sake or mine, but we both found comfort in the gesture. Darry was on the other side, keeping a steady hand on Soda's shoulder. He was putting up a tough front, but Soda and I weren't the only ones who were nervous.

The nurse wheeled Soda into a large room, with several other patients who were also getting prepped for surgery. A man next to Soda started talking incoherently and the nurse drew the curtain so we couldn't look at him. Was Soda going to be acting like that after surgery?

"Hello boys. I'm Dr. Burns, one of the anesthesiologists here at Tulsa General." A tall, lanky man with wavy hair pulled back the curtain and smiled at us. He looked too young to be a doctor. "I see we have um, So-da-pop, scheduled for a septal myectomy?" Darry nodded, and I followed his lead. I wasn't sure of all the medical terms, but that sounded right to me. Dr. Burns washed his hands, put on gloves, then took a vial of liquid and a syringe. "I'm going to give him a small dose of general anesthesia intravenously, just to calm him down, then we'll take him into the operating room."

Dr. Burns injected a medication into Soda's IV tube and I saw the effects of him immediately. His eyes lids started to droop and the grip he had on my hand had loosened significantly.

"Okay boys," Dr. Burns said, unlocking the brakes on Soda's bed. "I'll give you a second to say your goodbyes, then it's time to start his surgery."

Darry clutched Soda's hand and leaned in close to him. "Bye Sodapop. We'll see you soon enough. It's just like closing your eyes to take a nap." Darry gave his hand one final squeeze and stepped aside for my turn.

I stood there for a moment, taking in every feature of my brother. His chocolate colored eyes were closed, revealing the thin, blue veins over his eyelids. On his chin and jawline was a sandpapery beard, which made him look older than he really was. I felt my eyes welling up with tears and brushed them away so I wouldn't scare Soda. "I love you big brother."

He mumbled something I couldn't make out, then spoke again a little clearer. "I love you too little brother."