The next morning as we ate a quick meal before leaving for the docks, I reflected on the previous night's events. The note from his mother had helped me to understand Harris' pain but I wasn't really certain on what to say to help him. I let him hold me, but then grew uncomfortable so had to leave him for the night. I wondered if he had gotten any sleep at all. To find out your father had died in a simple barroom brawl, after looking up to him as a father figure and the "Champion", a hero, would be a crushing blow. My heart went out to the poor fellow.
As we went with Varric to the docks, we walked in silence. The dwarf had stated he did not get out much nor let his family out, because he feared the mindless plague would wash across Kirkwall sometime soon and he would not let his family be taken like that. I respected the fact that he was out with us now and told him as much as we neared the dock entrance.
"Nonsense," Varric waved off my appreciation. "I want to make sure you all make it back safely. Though I am not certain going to Ferelden is very safe." When he looked as if he would balk at the idea for our own protection, I had to make sure we would still be able to go.
"Well, I don't think there will be any of them where we are going. It should be safe." I bit my lip as I spoke, but then we were distracted by Merry.
"Can I sthay, please? I wanna sthay with Daisthy." She was begging Harris, tugging at his arm. He finally had to stop to respond.
"No, Merry, you can't." He shook his head and I could see the tension behind his expression. He was attempting to be patient with her, but I could tell it was trying. "I want you to be safe."
"Merry, we ALL want you to be safe." I interjected when it looked as if she were going to cry. "And you will be safe here, but we would miss you so much." I was rewarded with the girl throwing her arms around my waist and squeezing me.
"Okay, Lady Theethee, I will come with you." So it was settled.
Once we got to the docks, Varric helped us find the boat that would take us back home to Ferelden. It was a large ship, but not as large as the Impasse had been. The "Sea Star" was fairly impressive, however, in the manner of upkeep that it had received. The paint was clean, freshly coated, the sails were patched and patched well, and the wooden parts shined with a sheen that boasted of rigid upkeep. The crew, however, looked the same as every other ship on the sea – grizzled, leathery faced, shaggy haired men who leered at you when you came near them.
There were two rooms, but this time Merry would be staying with Kayla and I as there were three hammocks that we could use in the stateroom we were given. I was relieved to see the hammocks because that meant Kayla wouldn't be kicking me like she would if I had had to share a bed with her. Now if I could only figure out how to stop the snoring, all would be well.
Once we had been sailing a while, I found myself at the side of the ship, staring out at the sea. I knew it would take a few days to get back to Ferelden, but at least they were going to drop us off at a dock they knew was safe and fairly close to Amaranthine. We had to get just close enough to the city to find the hidden entrance to the mine shaft so that I could find my father. I knew that would be where he was and I knew we did not have much time left.
"Cecilia?" Dox's soft voice carried above the sound of the sea and I turned to stare at him as he joined me at the railing.
"How are you doing, Dox?" I queried, smiling at him as I did.
"I am fine." He stared out at the waves, silent for a few moments as if debating to say something. I waited patiently, just in case. Finally, he spoke. "Harris is sick. He keeps vomiting in the room, in a bucket one of the sailors had given him."
"Ahh, poor Harris." I wondered if he would need my comfort and turned to go. But before I stepped away from the railing, Dox touched my arm.
"Look, out there." He pointed into the sunny horizon line. I squinted, attempting to follow where he pointed, to see what he saw.
"What is it?" All I could see were white-tipped waves.
"There!" He pointed a little closer and this time I caught what he saw. Dark fins sliced through the water's surface from time to time in almost a rhythmic pattern.
"Oooh! I wonder what they are." I covered my eyes in an attempt to see better and shade them from the sun's bright glare.
"Large fish?"
"Maybe." We continued to watch them until we could not see anything but waves and sky.
"Harris was asking for you."
"Okay, I will go see him." I shook my head in pity, feeling empathy for the sea-sick man. I patted Dox's arm before I stepped away, and before I could remove my hand, he clasped it tightly.
"I like your touch." His brown-yellow eyes bored holes into my own.
"I… " I was mesmerized by his amazing face, unable to look anywhere but there. "Thanks."
"Can I meet you here by the moonlight, later tonight?" His voice had softened and I wondered the purpose behind his request. He must have thought I was hesitating because he added, "In my vision, I saw us here." Ugh, the vision. I was sick of him molding our paths just because of his vision!
"Then I suppose I have no choice." I winked and pulled my hand from under his, walking away from him without looking back. But I did have a choice… and I was suddenly motivated to see if I could prove his vision wrong.
Once I entered into Harris and Dox's shared room, I understood why the door had been propped open and all of the port holes spun wide. The room reeked.
"Harris?" I peered in the door meekly, afraid to catch him immodest, but he was lying on his side on the wooden floor, fully dressed. There was a bucket near his head for when he needed it, though by the smell, it would have surprised me to find his stomach had anything remaining within it.
"Mmm hmm." He slowly rolled over on his back, but his skin looked its normal tannish color. "Oh there you are."
"How are you feeling?" I grimaced playfully, sliding my knees underneath me so that I was sitting near him. "That's a silly question, huh."
"Actually I am okay." He sat up and smiled, nudging my elbow with an arm. "Dox healed me. Though I still feel a bit queasy, at least I don't need to retch anymore." His wrinkled nose was strangely appealing. "How are you?"
"I'm nervous for my father." I told him. "I hope we make it on time."
"Didn't Dox see that we would in that vision of his?"
"Yes, but I still worry about him suffering… or if we get there too late." I sighed and let him rest an arm on my shoulder. "After all the vision only showed us arriving there to help, but it did not tell him if we actually make it on time or not."
"Well, don't worry. We will." Harris' attempt to console me was actually helping. I felt better. "Listen, Cecilia, I wanted to thank you for the way you treat Merry. I think she sees you as a big sister and the kindness you show her means a lot to me."
"Well, she's such a sweet little girl." I grinned at him as I spoke. "I wish I had had a sister like her."
"You had Kayla… Not as far as blood, but didn't you grow up together?"
"Ha! Kayla? You're kidding." I laughed and then snorted. "She wasn't much of a sister to me." I scrunched up my face when I realized I was being unkind. "Sorry, she was fine. Just a little preoccupied from time to time on things that I didn't really care for."
"You are being nice." He smiled and when he did, it made me think of how long it had been since I had seen him do so before. It was pleasant.
"You should smile more often." I leaned my head on his shoulder, appreciating the fact that he still had an arm slung around me. It was cozy, but not uncomfortable like before. I felt the corners of my mouth slide upward when he pressed his lips against my forehead.
"I smile when I'm around you." His voice had turned husky and I wondered if I would ever be able to handle his passion. He obviously cared for me, and I felt something for him. But there was Dox… always Dox. The mage resided in the back of my mind and I cursed him for it, since I was uncertain if it was because of his comment about us for the future, from his vision, or because I genuinely felt something for him.
Our eyes locked and I wondered if Harris was my future or if I was meant for another…
Would it be so difficult to just let Harris have my heart? Why, oh why did the thought make me so nervous? Why was I so nervous around him?
"Let's get out of here. It smells bad." Either Harris had picked up on my unease at being so close or he really was ready to leave the small room, but I was both grateful and disappointed.
"Yeah, I think you have something to do with that." I giggled and then squealed when he attacked my good side with his fingers, tickling me mercilessly. He chased me out and onto the deck where we both watched the coming and going of the crew.
After a few moments, Harris pulled the sword that rested at his side from its sheathe and motioned for me to do the same. Since the whole slaver incident, neither he nor I relished spending a moment apart from our newfound weapons.
"Let's practice." He waited for me to take up a position in preparation for his first assault. Once I did, he came at me slowly, to help ease me into the idea of us swinging blades at each other. I managed to parry, since it was easy, but I knew he would speed up and I would have to work on my reflexes. It was not long before we had a small gathering of sailors watching us.
"Good one." One of the crewmen mumbled as I parried twice, spinning around to pin my sword under his arm. Fortunately, we were both in fresh leathers thanks to Varric purchasing us all new clothing and it didn't harm him. In fact, it did not even cut into the leather. I was not trying, for that purpose. I did not want to hurt him.
"It was a fair move, but don't be afraid to put some strength behind it." As Harris spoke, he swung his own sword around and smacked me strongly against my upper arm. It stung! He laughed lightly as I rubbed my shoulder. "Bruises are good for you. Make you stronger." His words came out as a taunt and I put my back into my next blow. He parried so I swung around from the momentum of the action, hoping to land on his opposite shoulder in revenge. But he was too fast and moved back quick enough to evade my blow.
"Nice one!" I heard the compliments from those watching and it fueled me onward. I kept on the offensive, trying to keep him at his guard. As I did, my hand reached down to my legging, but then stopped when I realized I did not have my dagger any longer. The slavers had taken it. I would have to get that replaced. For now, I jumped at him, crossing blades as I did. I was expecting him to push with his superior strength, so I looped my foot around his and tugged. Unfortunately, because I was locked with him in combat, when Harris fell, I fell with him.
"Oof!" I felt my breath go out as I landed on top of him. It was then I realized he had purposely landed on his back so that he could cushion my fall. I stared down into his handsome face, enjoying his grin as I struggled to unwind my sword from his and get up from off of him. However, he was fast and snaked an arm around my back, pressing me tightly against him, holding me there. He began to laugh as the sailors around us hooted and cheered him on.
"You fight dirty, Lady Cecilia." He continued to press me against his body, and so I gave up, keeping a hand on each side of him, letting my sword fall to the wooden planks underneath us.
"You can thank my mother for that." I giggled softly and made motion to release myself from his tight grasp. He let go, finally, but grudgingly as we climbed back to our feet.
"Again! And this time, if you want to fall on top of me, we don't have to use the swords…" Harris playfully leered at me and I rolled my eyes, going on the offensive with my sword again.
We practiced for what seemed to be hours, until my arms were shaking from fatigue and sweat forced Harris to remove his leather jerkin. Once more I found the sky to be very interesting, though I did peek from time to time, enjoying his body as I did. When we broke for food a good while later, almost to sundown, I wondered where Dox was. I had not seen him all day.
When Kayla and then Merry joined us, the little girl told me she had seen Dox up in the Crow's Nest.
"Yesth, he thaid he needed resth." Her lisp was getting a little better as her teeth grew in. "He didn't get much sthleep he thaid. He thaid 'I am missthing something to help me sthleep.' I guessth he needed a dolly and isth missthing one like I am." She sniffled in memory of her lost toy. I patted her back as we went for the meal. Dox still was missing after we had all finished filling our bellies and I worried about him.
I was about to climb up the Crow's Nest, but realized the height would terrify me. I had never been one to climb trees for fear of falling, so the idea of crawling up so high made me hesitate.
"Hello Cecilia." When Dox's voice appeared in my ear, I jumped a little.
"Oh, Dox, I was just thinking about you." I stared up at the Crow's Nest once more and then back to him. "I'm sorry you didn't sleep well. If it makes you feel better, Kayla doesn't give me much of a chance to sleep either." I grinned, hoping to make him feel better.
"Ah I am sorry." His brows furrowed and I decided he must not realize I had been joking about Kayla.
"It's okay, I'm teasing. Kayla is fine other than her atrocious snoring and kicking." I patted my belly, as I continued, "Did you need something to eat? I'm sure we can find something in the galley for you."
"No thank you." He followed me to the edge of the ship, to the railing, where we stared out at the sea together. "It is going to be a very good night. The Captain says we will be anchoring for the night, due to some crab traps they will be checking. And the wind is dying down so this will be a very peaceful evening."
"Ahh, good." I stared at the horizon, watching the reddish-orange sun fade away. It would not take long for the stars to appear in all of their brightness and for once, I was looking forward to evening on the ship. And it had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was supposed to meet Dox here at that time.
"It will be a sliver of a moon. I look forward to it." He stared upward and I fought the urge to stare at him instead of up in the sky as he did.
"I'm going to retire for the night, Dox." I turned to go, but I was testing him. "I hope you get some rest. Good night. Sleep well." I began to walk away, but stopped when I heard him call out my name.
"Cecilia?" I did not turn to face him, but listened with my back to him. "Will you meet me later here? At this spot?" When I did not say anything, but hesitated, he added, "Please?"
"All right, Dox." I sighed, giving in. Obviously it was what he wanted, and there was no harm in it. I would just go and see what happened.
A few hours later, I struggled to wipe the vestiges of sleep from me and rise as promise. It was tempting to just remain in the hammock and sleep, but a strange eagerness overtook me, causing me to dress hastily into my leather tunic and pants and hurry out to the deck. I did not bother with my boots or weapon. There'd be no need for either. I hoped.
Dox was standing by the railing as he had promised, wearing just his leather pants. The darkness was shattered only by the light of twin lanterns that hung from roping near the rails, making it difficult to see anything except the black-haired man and even then, he was covered in shadows. However, when he turned to look at me as I approached, I could see the happiness written plainly upon his face at my arrival. It made my heart flutter.
"Hello Dox,"I greeted in an attempt to get better control over my emotions and the fluttery feeling.
"I am glad you are here, Cecilia." His smile removed any traces of hesitation and I found myself smiling back as I drew closer to him. He reached out as if he would put a hand on my shoulder, but dropped it back to his side awkwardly. I knew Dox was unfamiliar with touching others which made me mentally curse his mother for that. I wondered what kind of person could raise a child without any feeling, emotion or touch. It would be so cold and sad to live like that.
"It's really pretty out here." I was surprised at how warm the night air was. I had half-expected to freeze, but the weather was very balmy and tropical. The breeze had died and the moon was just a sliver. I knew it would be difficult to see without the lanterns so I was surprised when Dox blew out both, covering us in almost complete darkness.
"Dox?" I questioned, a little nervous.
"I want to take you for a swim." He was closer than I expected, which startled me slightly. "I want you to trust me, Cecilia. Can you? Can you do that?"
"Ummm, yes." I know he heard the hesitation, and although I was a great swimmer thanks to trips while growing up to lakes and the sea, to swim in the sea in complete darkness was a bit frightening.
"You do not need to be afraid. I will protect you." His voice was in my ear and I could feel his body near, and although it made me nervous, I did not move. "Remove your clothing; we will not want to take them with us." I heard his voice grow softer and a rustling noise as he stripped from his pants. I wasn't so certain I wanted to be naked like that, fearful that anyone could come up to us with a lantern, but he had asked me to trust him, so I did. I quickly removed my clothing and felt like a fool as I stood there, covering up my private bits with my hands despite it being dark enough no one could see.
"Come, over the edge." I heard a soft swooshing noise and knew he was dropping the rope harness that held the opening to the side of the boat that would give us access to the water below. It was not long after that when I heard a splash. I almost wished I could see, but was happy that I could not since it would mean I could be seen. I felt my way to the edge, grasping onto the railing tightly as I felt the absence of anything – just the place to jump from – but grew afraid of jumping into nothingness.
"Come on Cecilia, jump. You will not harm me if that is what you are waiting for." Dox's voice was clearly to the side, so I jumped. The water was cold and it shocked me for only a few moments while I adjusted. I scrunched up my eyes as I shook my head, trying to keep the salt water from blinding me, though why I would need to see was beyond me. It was still just as dark down in the water as in the ship.
"I'm here." I called out and despite the fact that I knew he was near, I still jumped when I felt Dox's hand on my shoulder.
"Remember the fish things?" I turned to focus on the location of his voice once he had removed his hand. "They are called Doll-Fins. I am going to transform into one so that I can take you somewhere. Continue to trust me, will you?"
"You can turn into a fish?" I nearly laughed at the thought.
"Yes."
"What else? Any other kind of animal?" I was intrigued. I knew mages could shift their shapes, but my father had never been able to.
"Yes. Anything without a soul or spirit. Animals are easy to copy." His voice had drifted a little from me and I fought the urge to swim to him. "Are you ready? I will change now. Grasp my fin with both hands and hold on tightly. We will be traveling very swiftly."
"Umm okay." I was afraid, but I trusted Dox not to hurt me. I waited until I heard a splashing and then a quiet squeak. It was strange to me to think of the man now a fish and I held out a hand hesitantly until I felt something wet and leathery, yet soft. I patted him for a few minutes, grinning like an idiot until I found the fin on the top of his body. I wished that I could see him. Fascinated, I clung onto the fin with both hands as directed and wrapped my legs slightly around the long body.
"Ahh!" I nearly drank a tub of water as Dox took off into the water, with me holding on for my life. I was terrified at first, as the water hit my face, my body, threatening to knock me off of Dox-Doll-fin, but I managed to cling tight enough to remain with him. It was not long until I was smiling (albeit with a closed mouth to keep out the water), enjoying the midnight ride in the sea on the back of a man-turned-fish. It was exhilarating!
When we stopped, I almost complained, but we had reached some sort of dark overhang. I wondered where we were. I felt the fin shake slightly as if he were telling me to release my hands from him, so I let go. I had to flex my fingers a few moments as I had apparently gripped so tightly my hands were cramping. As I studied the dark outline of the object before us, the image of a sea serpent entered my mind and I began to grow quite afraid.
"Are you all right?" I should have been expecting Dox to turn back already, but the sound of his human voice echoed all around me and I could not help myself but let out a scream…
To be Continued