Sorry I haven't updated in like a week. I've been really busy lately, but it won't happen again. Thanks for the reviews guys!
"Happy birthday baby," My mom said as she pulled out a big box behind her back.
As a newly four year old, all the possibilities of what could be inside this box, flooded through my head. It could be a dog! Or a giant lollipop! I didn't know what it was, but my now four year old self, grabbed the package and tore it apart. Before opening the box, I looked up at my mom and dad. My dad had his hands resting on my mom's shoulders while they both had big smiles on their faces, making me smile.
Opening the top of the box, I pulled out a giant stuffed bunny that I remember seeing in the window of a corner store and I had begged for. It was a bit smaller than me and a soft pink. It looked so incredibly soft. It's long, floppy, ears reminded me of a cozy blanket I used to have, but lost. The ribbon around it's neck was my favorite color, a rosy red; the color of my favorite flower. The ribbon had gold sparkles on it that were close to the color of my hair. The look on my face must've been priceless, because a camera flashed. Picking up the big life-size bunny, I held it in my arms and hugged the life out of it.
"I love it! Thank you mommy and daddy!" I said in my high pitched, four year old voice.
Not letting go of the bunny, I dragged it over to my parents and hugged their legs because that's all I could reach. The vibration coming from their legs, indicated that they were laughing. Yeah, I was a cute lil kid. Turning around, I saw my grandma had the camera that flashed at my 'surprised' face. I giggled as I ran to her and hugged her. She was a short woman so my head went to her waist. Patting my head, she giggled too.
I would show it off to everyone I knew. Sometimes I would even take it to school, but the teacher would always take it away from me because I wouldn't let go of it. Anywhere I went, that bunny went. I even named it . It soon grew to be my best friend because it wouldn't judge me when I told him my secrets, he wouldn't make fun of me when I told him the embarrassing things I have ever done. That stuffed bunny meant the world to me.
My eyes fluttered open to be greeted by a white room and a beeping next to my head. I was in the hospital. Observing the room I was in, I noticed a sleeping Steve holding my hand. Outside, it looked dark so it was night time. I wonder how long I was out? The last thing I remember, was seeing Pony. Glancing down at myself, I saw a big patch on my right hip. That's where the stab mark was. Using that hand that wasn't locked with Steve's, I outlined the bandage. It's disturbing, knowing a knife did this to me. I was too afraid to lift the bandages and see the damage to my body. The sheets surrounding my body were very scratchy and the least bit comforting. I quickly shuddered from the coldness in the room and that woke Steve up. When his eyes landed on me, he sat up more and pulled the chair he was in, closer to me.
"Hey," My voice sounded rather hoarse. I guess that's what happens in a near death experience.
"Hey," Steve responded quickly. Neither of us knew what to say to each other so we sat in the silence, not taking our hands out of the others grip. Him holding my hand, was very comforting and relaxed me. I liked it a lot and hoped it was real.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked. What did he mean? I gave him a puzzling look and he pointed to my forehead. Using my hand that was trapped by his, I felt my forehead to feel a coat of sweat. Disgusted with the liquid that was on my hand, I wiped it off the my blanket, only to find it trapped by Steve's hand again.
"Let's just say blast from the past," I said slightly laughing.
"Wanna talk bout it?" He asked. Since when was he this caring to me, ever? He could careless about what was going on in my life or my problems. Maybe, him watching me get stabbed, scarred him or something. I don't know, but it was a weird feeling, kinda.
"Jus' bout my parents and when I was little. That's all," I said upset.
"What ever happen' to ya parents?" He asked curiously. I never thought that Steve would be the first person to ask about my parents. I would've thought it'd be Sodapop or Ponyboy, but never Steve. It didn't even cross my mind that he would find out about my past. Or anyone would find out for that matter.
Searching the room, I shifted almost uncomfortably. I prayed I could spy something that would change the subject, but I don't think anything or anyone would come to my rescue; not that, that would ever happen to me. I always had the worst of luck. I was always screwed over. Studying the chipped paint on the corner of the room, I hoped Steve would just drop it, but of course he didn't. Just my luck.
"I wanna know," he said sweetly and gripping my hand tighter and put his other hand on top of mine and his hands. Well that took me by surprise. Gazing over at him, he had sweet puppy dog eyes that I could always fall for if he got out of his shell once and a while.
"Fine. My parents used to be undercover cops," I began. He cringed back a bit when I said cops, but I let it go. He had a good reason for it. He was a greaser and no greasers liked the fuzz. I never told anyone about my parents because I wasn't allowed to and I didn't want people to hate me because of their occupations.
"They were coming back from a job on a train, when it crashed. They were instantly killed on impact. I was left with no one, but my grandma. My parents meant everythin to me." Tears threatened to pour from my eyes. "They were my best friends when I was younger Steve," I said as a few tears escaped. I was about to wipe them away, but Steve did instead with his thumb. Suddenly, I remembered my stuffed bunny that I had when I was younger and I began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" I could see Steve's confusion. I was just telling a sad story and now I'm laughing.
"I remember this bunny I used to have that I got on my fourth birthday. It was this big life size bunny that I saw n a corner store window and I always wanted. One day I even begged for it. I threw a tantrum and refused to leave the spot in front of the window with the big bunny in it, until I got it." I said laughing at my childhood self.
"It was a soft pink with a ribbon tied around it's neck that was a deep beautiful red with sparkles close to the color of my hair. I remember it was my best friend… until I was eight and my parents died," More tears spilled out of my eyes and I wiped them away thinking about that bunny that rests in the attic at my grandma's house.
"Ya don' have to finish," Steve said scooting closer to me. I sniffed, knowing that I would have to get this out sooner or later.
"After I heard the news of my parents death, it was a dark time for me. Saw no hope in life. I was completely depressed and I let people leave me; pretend I didn't exist. No friends, no family except grandma. No one. One day when I was nine, I took off the ribbon from the bunny's neck and wrapped it around mine. I thought my life was over because my parents lives were over. I took the sides of the ribbon and pulled em releasing the rest of the air in my body. I stared death right in the face and showed it that I wasn't scared of it. Steve, I wanted to die," I broke.
I broke down in tears. I pulled my legs up to my body, wrapped my arms around my legs and shoved my head in between my knees, letting out quiet sobs of sadness. Reminiscing on the memory I had just dreamt of, I realized how much it hurt and that I haven't thought about it since I was teen. It hurt to know that I was lost in the world. It hurt that I had no family left because they're all dead. It hurt to know, that no one alive, knew the things I had done after my parents death. It scared my that I was capable of such things. Steve put his hand on my back comfortingly, but my story wasn't finished quite yet.
"Named the bunny ," I said. Steve chuckled a bit putting a smile on my face.
"But after my parents died, I haven't touched it since. It used to sit in my room in the corner and whenever I would look at it I would see my parents happy faces, but at night, I would stare at it til I gots tired. When I did, I would scream and cry waking up my grandma from my nightmares every night so she had to get it out of my sight. I know that it sits in my attic at my grandma's house, but I haven't seen it since I was eight. That bunny was sometimes the only thing that brought happiness some days, but now, it just brings a cold feeling over me and makes me think of dying. Steve, I'm so messed up," I confessed.
I continued to cry, but didn't want Steve to see, so I turned my back against him and laid on my side. Constantly, I was wiping my tears or letting them fall on the sheets. A few minutes later, I felt the mattress go down showing that weight was being put on it. Then I felt the blankets go up and arms wrap around my side. I sat up a little and laid my head on Steve's chest, continuing to cry. The blanket was put higher on me covering my entire body, except for my head.
"S'all right baby girl," Steve spoke soothingly. My eyes began getting heavier and soon I was asleep, cuddled up next to Steve.
When I woke up, I felt someone breathing under my head. Slowly sitting up, I looked outside and saw that the sun was out, meaning that it was day and Steve and I slept through the night, unharmed. I was beginning to get uncomfortable on my side, so I turned onto my back able to look up at the ceiling. The ceiling was white, with the paint chipping off.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I remembered the dizziness I felt, as a blindfold went over my eyes and made the world go dark for me. His voice echoed in my head. "This is payback you bitch,". I could feel the sharp pain stinging my side. My blood curdling screamed echoed through my head and wouldn't go away. I could feel the warm blood seep through my white shirt and down my hip, dripping to my thigh and staining my black shorts, again.
My eyes quickly flickered open, as realization hit me. Beginning to pant very hard, beads of sweat dripped down my face as I shot up. I looked around the room quickly, hearing the blonde socs voice reflect off the walls and ring through my ears. My breathing sped even more and the beeping from the heart monitor got louder and faster. The sounds wouldn't stop. Pulling my legs up, I coddled them in my arms and cried violently, tossing and turning from left to right, until I felt a hand on my shoulder and pull me back into them. I screamed because I had no idea who the person was.
"Hey, everythin's goin be okay," The voice soothingly said in my ear. The panting became softer, the beeping became slower and this voice was the only thing I could hear. It blocked out my cries, my screams, and the socs voice.
"Make it go away. Please," I wept into the person. Based off of the grease smell mixed with oil and cologne smell, I knew that it was Steve.
"What happen?" He asked while playing with my hair.
"The voices, the pain, the noises, the cries, all of it," I spoke, but came out muffled because I was talking into Steve's shirt. I felt the grip he had on me get tighter and soon the heart monitor went back to the regular pace.
"Steve," I began and sniffed. "I'm scared. What if they come for me 'gain." I said softly. Truthfully, I thought I was going to die the night I got stabbed. Once again I cheated death, just like I did when I was only nine. How could an innocent nine year old, have such a repulsive, foul, inhuman and sickening thoughts go through their heads? Most nine year olds, are playing with kids on playgrounds, while I was in my house, staring out the window, wishing I could fall out of it and put an end my misery.
"No one'll hurt ya. I won't let em," Steve spoke roughly. I knew that he meant it, but why? I didn't understand, but I will never understand this boy.
"Why?" I asked curiously. As Steve was about to answer my question, the doctor came in. Thank god, this time it wasn't my grandma's doctor. Hopefully that doctor got some sense put in his head.
"Ms. Bryant?" The doctor asked. I nodded my head answering his question.
"Well, the stabbing was almost life threatening. It almost hit a main artery and could have ended your life. Your friends brought you in very quickly which was smart and you were put in emergency surgery. You should consider yourself very lucky. Now, you've been in the hospital for a while, so I think-" I interrupted him wanting to know how long I was here for.
"How long was I here?" I asked.
"You've been here for two weeks. Your healing process is going very well and I could say, that you will be out of here in just a couple more days. We want to keep an eye on you," The doctor spoke. I nodded my head in understanding then cuddled back up in Steve.
"Why was I asleep so long?" I questioned. It's not even human to sleep for two weeks straight.
"Well for a week you were out, because of the propofol. It's the stuff we use to knock you out during surgery. Then you were actually awake, but we kept giving you pain killers. You probably don't remember. You were loopy the entire time," He explained. I nodded again and he walked out. I didn't realize how hungry I was, until my stomach loudly growled.
"Whoa. Want me to get ya food?" Steve asked.
"That'd be nice," I agreed and he pulled himself away from me. The spot that he was laying was warm from his constant being there, but my body became cold once he was gone. I guess he was keeping me warm.
A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Before I could answer, the hang walked in, following Darry and Soda trailing behind. A weak smile, tugged at the corner of my mouth. They all responded with small smiles too. Comforting one's though. Before I could speak, Ponyboy came rushing to my side and gripped my hand.
"I'm so sorry. Shouldn't've happened to ya," He looked up at me and I could see a few tears in his eyes. I pulled him down for a tight hug. He was the last person I saw before I passed out and it honestly scared me. I thought he was going to be the last thing I heard and saw before dying.
"Don' leave me alone ever again," I whispered, but loud enough for all the boys to see. When Ponyboy pulled away, he sat in the chair that Steve had sat in, just the day before.
"How ya holdin up kiddo?" Darry asked walking into the room more.
"I'm hungry and in pain," I moaned.
"Gave us a right good scare, Maxy," Two-Bit continued for Darry. He walked over to the other side of the bed that Ponyboy wasn't on, and sat down in that chair that was against the wall. The waft I got from Two-Bit walking near me, didn't smell like his usual smell. I couldn't smell beer or cigarettes on him. I've never not smelled him like that. Maybe he hasn't had any beer or smokes since….
I remember my grandma saying that to me when I was younger. She said after I woke up in the hospital from the ribbon accident. I remember it so clearly.
Walking up to the Mr. Bunny, I examined him for the last time. I ripped the ribbon off of his neck, and wrapped it around mine. I sat facing the window holding onto the two ends of the ribbon, while my hands shook. I could hear kids outside laughing and playing, but that wasn't going to ever be me again. Grasping the ribbon tightly in my hand, I yanked it letting the rest of my bodies air out. The last thing I heard was my grandma's cries.
It sounded almost identical to when Pony was screaming for me and the gang was telling me to keep my eyes open.
When my eyes opened, I was surrounded my whiteness. I thought I was in heaven, until I heard my grandma's voice. I knew I was just in a hospital. After a long talk with her I remember those words echoing through my head, all the way up to my teen years.
"Gave me a right good scare, Maxy," She said, her face drenched with tears.
I cheated death then, and once again, I cheated it now.