Chapter 11 Before dawn

The carriage ride home seemed short compared to their separate rides to the ball. Meg was pressed by his side as he held her hand gently. He glanced at the windows as they passed the meadows that surrounded La Medicea, the sky slowly becoming clearer. Erik played with the ring on her finger, cradling her hand and resting both their hands atop his thigh, unwilling to let go of her.

As the carriage stopped in front of La Medicea, Erik stepped down first and then helped Meg. They walked close to each other as they approached their villa. After staying a while on the balcony enjoying each other's company, they needed to get inside so Fabrizio wouldn't have to worry about their whereabouts. No one knew about the big event that had happened at the ball, no one would have ever suspected that the true happiness and excitement that shone in their expressions was because he had finally asked her to marry him. Nor had anyone noticed the big amethyst that sparkled on Meg's finger. As the people got tired they soon began to leave, the first ones were the families who had children. The Pelizzaris left only minutes before Meg and Erik had.

Erik had his hand on Meg's back as they walked up the stairs to the villa. Erik couldn't describe what he was feeling; he never thought that she would say yes. And not only had she said 'Yes', but she'd been truly happy when she did. Meg had made him feel like no one ever had before, not even Christine. Could it be that maybe he was falling in love? He had promised himself to never allow those kinds of feelings penetrate his soul again. He hadn't asked her to marry him for love…he was completely sure that Meg didn't loved him. He had decided to do it because it was the best choice. Meg needed protection, someone to look out for her and stand by her side. In less than a month she would need to return to Paris, and she couldn't do it by herself. The relationship he had with her was extraordinary, although she didn't love him, she was willing to risk her life for him. And Erik would do the same for her any day.

Somehow they complemented one another. Every time Meg didn't know what to do, Erik would be there for her. When Erik began feeling insecure and that he was falling into the familiar despair again, Meg would arrive and take him out of those gloomy thoughts. He knew that marriage was an important matter for Meg; she truly believed that a person should marry for love and not out of a sense of duty. Perhaps she would fall in love along the way? Although Erik wouldn't admit it, he had developed a lot of feelings towards the little ballerina. He couldn't think of a day without her.

Erik opened the door and Meg stepped in first as Erik raised slightly her skirts on the back so she could enter easily. She turned and smiled at him warmly, her eyes sparkling behind the mask she hadn't removed yet. That simple gesture had made his heart begin racing furiously. What was going on with him?

Meg couldn't believe it yet. Erik had proposed to her. She wouldn't have dared to imagine that he would do it. A little voice in her head reminded her that maybe he was doing it just because of her mother. But what if he had done it because he actually did care for her? Meg knew that Erik had awakened feelings that she didn't think she would ever feel. The way he looked at her, how he talked and teased her, the way he always knew what she needed or didn't wanted to do. He comforted her and dried her tears. The bond they shared was deeper than friendship, she knew that, and apparently almost everyone had seen it. She needed to know if this was an obligation for him or if he was doing it because he felt something for her.

They walked in silence through the dark kitchen as Erik lit some candles around. Meg walked to the stove and put some water in a pot to prepare some tea. She had her back to him, so she didn't notice when he slipped quietly out of the room and into the living room.

"Would you like some tea?" Meg asked as she turned around, surprised when she found the room empty "Erik?"

"I'm here" he replied, his voice coming from somewhere in the living room. Meg moved swiftly around the kitchen and poured two cups of hot tea.

"Leave the tea and come outside, Meg" called Erik excitedly. From the sound of his voice, Meg assumed he was on the loggia. She put the cups on the table and gathering her skirts she hurried outside.

The sky was getting a tint of pink as the sun began to rise slowly from the east. Erik was standing at the railing of the loggia, his arms clasped at his back. As soon as he heard her soft footsteps he turned around and smiled, the kind of smiles that made her stomach twirl. He stretched a hand towards her as she approached to him. His warm hand enveloped hers completely, pulling her close to his chest. She stood and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face against his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her tiny waist.

"I had never seen the sunrise before" he whispered quietly as he inhaled the intoxicating fragrance of her hair.

"There have been quite a lot of first times since we arrived" Meg answered with a smile.

He laughed quietly, the sound rumbling in his chest. They stood there for a moment in comfortable silence, enjoying the company of each other, neither of them having enough of the other.

"Erik?" Meg asked quietly.

"Hm?" He answered.

"Why do you want to marry me?"

Slowly, Erik untangled from their hug to stare directly at her eyes. He knew that she would ask that, somehow he already knew what she would do or say before she did it. He glanced down to look at her straight to the eye.

"How could I not want to marry you?" he answered back, his hand slowly caressing her forearm.

She seemed to think about it for a moment as she spoke again "I don't want you to do this just because my mother asked for it-"

"I'm not doing it for that" he stated silencing her from her mumbling "Meg, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, inside and out. You have accepted me as I am, healed my wounds, risked your life to save me…how could I not want to marry you?"

Her eyes softened as his glance shined with emotion. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily, considering his words.

"But what about my mother?" Meg asked fearfully.

"I didn't do this because of your mother" he said seriously "What surprised me the most is that you said yes"

That had been his principal inquietude since they had been in the balcony. He knew she deserved a man better than him, but when she began to express how she felt with herself and with men in general, he just knew that it was the perfect moment to act.

"How couldn't I?" she answered whole heartedly.

"What did I do to deserve someone like you?" he pondered quietly as he raised a hand to grab her hand.

She glanced down as he pulled her close, gathering her closer than before. He rested once more his forehead against hers as she breathed heavily. His warm hand moved up to caress softly the skin at her back. He felt her draw her other hand and put it over his heart, feeling it pounding strongly underneath her touch. Erik couldn't stand it, her nearness was destroying his senses and unbalancing him, he was desperate to feel every inch of her pressed to him. This was how they should have been all night…why hadn't he seen Meg when they lived at the Populaire? Well, he had forced himself to overlook her as she was Antoinette's daughter. And in the process he had lost himself and nearly destroyed the only home he had known. But now he felt again at home, he knew that Meg belonged in his arms, she fit perfectly.

He wanted desperately for her to look up at him. But Meg knew better, if she glanced up, she would be lost. Never in all her life had a man treated her the way Erik had, they always looked for something more carnal than love. No one had ever hugged her the way he did, no one had ever made her feel so protected…complete. Slowly, she glanced up to meet his eyes. At that moment she knew she was completely lost. Her knees began to falter at the power of his glance, mixed with his intoxicating scent and the warmth emanating from his skin. His eyes sparkled with emotion…as if he wanted to…

He straightened his face a few inches and raised his hands to remove her mask. She closed her eyes at his warm touch and let him take the mask off. The cold breeze hit her upper face, finally allowing the skin to breathe. Erik placed the mask on a table, turning around quickly again. Slowly, he raised a hand to caress her cheek, tracing from her jaw to her temple. His touch burned her skin as she marveled at the softness of his touch. His eyes darted from her lips to her eyes.

"Beau"

She held his gaze as she listened to his heavy breathing. It was as if he was having an inner battle whether to speak or step back. She raised her hand and placed it again over his heart, feeling the pounding of his heart as his lips parted slightly. Meg lifted her hand from his chest and placed it over the mask, taking it off.

Erik shut his eyes tightly as he remembered the time Christine had done the same thing to him. He expected the screams of fear, the cries and gasps. But none of that happened, instead he felt as Meg's warm hand held his face, her thumb slowly caressing his cheek. The touch surprised him and his eyes flew open.

"Meg…"

He lowered his head towards her, his gaze lost in her lips. Before she could understand what was happening, he pressed softly his lips against hers. Her eyelids closed as she felt Erik's lips touch hers. Her senses increased as she tried to feel everything at that moment. One of his arms lifted to encircle her waist as the other rose to capture her neck, resting it over her pulse as his thumb caressed her cheek and jaw. She sighed his name against his lips, and she could feel how he smiled at her soft whisper.

Her lips were softer than he had imagined it as he felt her pulse increase underneath his touch. That gentle touch had brought to him more emotions than anything he had experienced before, this was what he thought his first kiss would be like. A kiss filled with sweetness, adoration, gentleness and happiness, not pity and sacrifice. He felt like shouting with joy when he felt her lean arms encircle his neck, pulling him down to her, one of her hands running through his hair. He wanted her; he wanted her to be closer, to have her pressed against him more than she already was. As he clutched her tightly, he bent his head and kissed her deeply, taking her breath away.

She moaned quietly as his hand stroked her neck. He pressed her against him even more, feeling the softness of her chest against his own. Slowly, she felt as he moved away, his arm still holding her in an iron like grip as he moved his head backwards. Exhaling a heavy breath, Meg opened her eyes. His expression was of complete adoration, his eyes more stunning than ever. Neither of them dared to speak, she could only stare into the warm depths of his emerald eyes.

"Goodnight" Erik said hoarsely as he leaned down again and pressed his lips softly against hers. He stepped back quickly and turned around to walk in the direction of his room, leaving a stunned Meg behind him.

It had been more than an hour since Erik was lying on his bed turning from one side to another trying to fall asleep. But he simply couldn't do it. His mind was somewhere else, lost in the warm brown depths that were Meg's eyes. He felt anxious and afraid. He had tried to calm himself down by repeating over and over again a piece of music of Arcangelo Corelli, but no matter how many times he closed his eyes and imagined a full orchestra, nothing calmed him down enough. The feelings Meg's kiss had caused in him were completely new and very powerful. He wanted more…although he knew he didn't deserved it. He was going to marry her to protect her, because she needed him in their return to Paris. But what if something went wrong and they ended up split apart? What if someone recognized him and he ended up in prison? He was powerless, his face would betray him as it always did. And he knew he deserved to be in prison.

But what would happen to Meg? He would leave her defenseless, alone…and married to someone who was in prison. He couldn't condemn her to a fate like that. But the decision had been made and she had agreed. With frustration he sat up on the bed, running a hand through his hair with pursed lips. He untangled himself from the bed sheets and stood up barefoot, approaching the window as the sun streaked through and washed his uncovered chest with warmth. There was one thing he could do…to protect her. But would he be that strong to do it? It had been just one kiss, how would he be able to live with her every day and not want more than just a kiss? Although he feared the answer of his unspoken question, he decided that he would do the right thing, for Meg's safety. He walked to his bed once more and laid down, falling asleep easily.

The next day, Erik walked down to the kitchen quietly, his white shirt hanging loose from his chest. It was already late afternoon and he had just woke up. Probably it had been because he was physically and emotionally tired, or maybe because he was afraid to face Meg after the kiss they had shared. He stopped at the threshold as he observed how Meg prepared coffee and squeezed some oranges to make some fresh juice. It was probably too late to be preparing breakfast, but as always, Meg didn't follow the standards of what was supposed to be normal. Squaring his shoulders he waited for her to turn around.

"Bon matin" she greeted surprised when she spotted him "I trust you slept well."

She watched him as he slowly made his way into the kitchen, his fists clenched and chest out. Was he all right? Although she was still unsure of his motives to get married, the kiss they had shared didn't seem an act at all. Meg smiled to herself as she remembered the look on his face after he had kissed her, and that was how she knew that he had feelings for her.

"Good morning…afternoon...yes" he whispered, choking on his own words. What was wrong with him? He couldn't even form a proper sentence.

"Are you all right?" Meg asked worried at his pained expression.

She put the oranges down and took a step towards him, but the moment she did, he stepped back. He saw her freeze, her eyes revealing that he had hurt her. Erik closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

"I did not mean to…I'm well, thank you" Erik replied drily.

She nodded and turned around to continue squeezing the last orange. A soft knock on the main door brought them out of their thoughts.

"I'll go" said Erik as he walked out of the room, Meg still focused on the oranges.

Her hands were trembling as she tried to squeeze the last drops of juice from the orange. Why had he treated her that way? Was it something she had done or said? She knew he had been hurt deeply by Christine and that he was afraid of falling in love again. But that wasn't a reason to flinch away from her. Of course he wouldn't ask someone to marry him again, not after the painful rejection he had suffered. Although she denied what she was feeling, Meg knew Erik felt the same way.

Meg heard a man talking with Erik, and after laughter echoed in the house, she knew it was Federico who had arrived. She heard his heavy footsteps as they approached to the kitchen.

"Meg!" exclaimed Federico cheerfully, stretching his neck from behind the enormous basket he was carrying.

Erik was a few steps behind the older man, carrying a basket nearly the same size. Federico had been quite handsome during his youth, but now the years seemed to have caught up to him. He had age lines at the corner of his eyes and his hair was of a silver color. Yet he still had the soul of a young man. His eyes were full of wisdom and warmth, and there was something about his deep rich voice which comforted Meg, he had been like a second father to her while he had lived in Paris with Arabelle.

"My God, Federico!" answered Meg surprised running to help him with the basket "What do you have here?"

"Just a little something Arabelle sends" he explained with a relief breath as they put the baskets on the table.

"She's unbelievable" laughed Meg as she began to spy what was inside the baskets.

"So how was the Masquerade Ball?" asked Federico curiously as he sat down in the chair, taking out a napkin to clean the perspiration drops that were on his forehead.

"It was…interesting" answered Erik carefully.

"Really?" inquired Federico surprised "Fabrizio told me it was magnificent."

"More than that!" squeaked Meg "It was truly unforgettable"

At that, she glanced quickly at Erik with a meaningful look which he decided to ignore. Federico oblivious to the silent conversation between them continue chattering about what the Pelizzaris had told Arabelle and him.

"Maybe you will be able to assist to the Carnavale next month!" Federico suggested.

At that point Meg had already torn apart the wrapping of the basket and was digging excitedly through its content. Erik stood at Meg's back and tried to cast a look at the insides of the basket. There were pastries of all colors and shapes. Meg's mouth began to water at the sight of so many sweets. But of course, how could she have forgotten that Arabelle was a superb cook?

"Perhaps" Erik sighed "It will be completely different"

"It is" stated Federico with a grin.

"Arabelle did it again!" announced Meg, reaching out for Erik's arm, but instead he caught her hand in his.

"Well, now that you are here…" began Erik calmly as Meg squeezed his hand excitedly.

"Federico, have you seen this?" she lifted one pastry with careful hands observing the beautiful details Arabelle had added.

"I would like to announce that Meg has agreed to marry me"

"Erik!" gasped Meg straightening and letting the pastry she was holding fall in the basket again.

The expression on Federico's face was indescribable, his gaze darting from one to the other.

"Really?" he breathed "When did this happen?"

"Last night" muttered Meg nervously gripping Erik's hand tightly.

"I'm sorry if we have thrown you out of course" apologized Erik.

"No, not at all" Federico said, a playful smile appearing on his lips "We knew it was just a matter of time."

Meg looked up surprised at his statement. He wasn't the first to say that he had seen that they both had feelings for each other. Federico was a very distracted man, so if he had seen that, probably everyone already had.

"We would like to marry in a private ceremony, perhaps this Thursday?" Erik asked.

What? He had already decided for both of them? She bit her tongue and tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling that was growing on her inside, the feeling that he was rushing this so he couldn't back out.

"Of course!" exclaimed Federico with a smile "You should tell Arabelle."

"Yes" murmured Meg with a forced smile.

"All right, I'll go to our villa and we'll wait for you later!"

And with that he left the room, Erik and Meg standing silently. The instant he was out of sight, Meg let go of Erik's hand slowly, walking around the table and standing with her back turned to him. She was rigid, bent over the burner looking down. Her shoulders and neck were tense.

"What's wrong?" he whispered tensely.

She spun around, her eyes cold and unexpressive, her lips pursed tightly as she hugged herself "When did you decide all of that?"

"I…I thought that…" he mumbled, letting out a heavy sigh "The sooner the better."

"That's not the point, Erik!" she answered frustrated.

"I'm sorry, we can set another date if you want to" he said quietly, staring at her deeply into the eye.

She sighed tiredly, running a hand through her long hair "I wanted a church wedding"

His eyes hardened as he tensed his jaw, but then, it changed to an expression of apology and understanding "I don't think that's appropriate-"

"What? What's not appropriate?" she blinked surprised "To want a normal wedding?"

"That's not what I meant" he clarified "I just know that it's crucial to do this before the end of January"

Her eyes showed that he had hurt her somehow, somehow feeling a wave of despair overwhelming her.

"This is an obligation to you, isn't it?" she whispered sadly.

Watching her carefully, Erik remembered what she had said the day Antoinette's letter had arrived: he didn't want to force anyone to marry her. And now he had just acknowledged unconsciously that he had done it because of her safety. But Erik knew that it hadn't been just because of that.

"No" he frowned.

"Then why are you acting like it is?" she protested "I want us to be a normally engaged couple and you are certainly not helping"

"What do you want me to do? You want us to have a big wedding and invite all Florence?" he asked sarcastically "Let's do it then!"

"Stop it!"

Their gazes collided and he winced when he saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears. He felt as regret invaded his body and took a step towards her.

Erik stretched out his hand to touch her "Meg I'm-"

"No" she shook her head stepping back "No, you are not"

He watched her carefully, feeling suddenly powerless and miserable. Why did he always have to spoil everything? Meg was an incredible and beautiful woman who had just agreed to marry him, throwing her life away for sure. And now he was crushing her dream, probably one she had had since a little girl.

"I'm trying to do this as normal as possible" she whispered, her head downcast "But you make it so difficult"

He moved forward, wincing when she stepped back again. Meg felt exhausted; she didn't expect him to react that way towards marriage. Christine had left him deeply scarred, and apparently Meg couldn't do anything to mend the damage. Why was he making it so difficult for her? Hadn't he made this decision on his own? Didn't he want to marry her?

"Our situation is far from normal" he answered coldly.

"I thought you wanted us to be married" she explained hugging herself tightly "But now I realize you just did it as a commitment to my mother"

"That's not true" he protested "I want us to marry"

"Then why are you constantly trying to crush the only dream I've ever had?" she choked.

And with that she walked out of the room, leaving Erik behind. After a moment he followed her slowly, observing how she stood in front of the window hugging herself, her shoulders trembling slightly. As he stood behind her, he remembered the only thing she had said she didn't want to do: to force anyone to marry her. And now it seemed that that was his only motive to marry her. Meg felt his presence behind her, warm and powerful. But she didn't dared to turn around, she couldn't. They had fought over details about their wedding, they had never fought over anything the way they just had. And that saddened her deeply.

He stood behind her in silence, considering whether to grab her shoulders gently or hug her from behind. But rejection would hurt him the most, so he just stood there and leaned forward.

"I'm sorry Meg" he whispered gently "I shouldn't react that way nor make plans without even asking you first"

"It's not that" she answered quietly "It's that it seems that you don't want to marry me, that you are just fulfilling the request of my mother"

He grabbed her by the waist and turned her around slowly to face him, her arms falling limply by her sides. His eyes traveled over her face, observing her hurt expression and the lonely tear which had escaped. Erik kept holding her waist and lifted his other hand to slowly erase the tear from her cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly as he took longer than necessary to caress her cheek.

"If you want a church wedding, we will have one" he murmured as he lowered his hand "I just want you to be happy and to have your dream, I just can't believe I'm part of it"

She opened her eyes and tilted her head "My dream wouldn't be complete unless you are in it too"

He chuckled sadly "I found that hard to believe"

"I will only do this under one condition" she frowned, ignoring his answer.

He looked into her warm eyes as they sparkled with emotion. Slowly, she lifted her hand and put it over his chest, dragging it slowly to rest atop his heart. It began pounding loudly as he made a silent prayer for her not to notice it. Her touch burned through the light fabric of his shirt, but he continued to hold her stare.

"I'm not going to do this unless you give me a piece of your heart"

Erik realized that this was her only desire, to know that he would want her. Meg didn't want his protection or constant vigilance…she just wanted him to accept her and love her. That single thought scared him, could he love her? And most importantly, could she love him? He knew that if he gave into what he felt inside he would be condemned and lost. She had a power over him that made him feel like never before and somehow he knew that if she left him, that would destroy him. Probably forever. But he knew that she wouldn't, she wouldn't hurt him.

"Vous faites déjà"

She smiled softly and lowered her hand "That's enough for me"

Meg stepped forward and took his arm as they walked towards the door. With just that single confession she knew Erik did wanted to marry her by his own free will and not forced, and to know that he care for her made her feel inexplicably warm on her inside.

"And of course we will have a church wedding if that's what you desire" Erik clarified looking down at her.

"Merci" she answered cheerfully "And now I think it's time to explain everything to Arabelle"

She let go of his arm and picked up her shawl, walking back while Erik held the door opened for her. Before she could step out, he grabbed her softly by the wrist, stopping her. She looked up confused as he smiled enigmatically at her.

"Just one more condition"

And with that he bent his head and pressed his lips over hers, pulling her tightly over his chest. Her legs faltered as she felt the power of his kiss overwhelm her. One hand rested over her hip and the other one held her head to keep her close. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly to not loose balance as he softly whispered her name against her lips. He eased the pressure of his lips for more soft and lingering kisses along the line of her lips. With a sigh he straightened and grabbed her hand motioning her to walk out of the villa.

"Come, they must be waiting for us"

He smiled teasingly as she began laughing joyfully. He was definitely a new man.

Beau-Beautiful

Bon matin-Good morning

Vous faites déjà-You already do