Chapter 10

There was a noise, it sounded like someone was crying and whimpering at the same time, there was no way he could really understand what was going on, though, his brain was lost in a fog that didn't let him fully figure out the situation.

Something on the back of his head was telling him to wake the hell up, to go check and find what that noise was, but there also was that sweet darkness that was calling him back, asking him to stay there and just keep sleeping.

He was almost ready to listen to that little voice when a crack of light hit his eyes making him squeeze them really tight. Mike groaned almost annoyed, forcing himself to open his eyes and try to finally figure out what the hell was going on.

Confusion came into him when he realized that he wasn't in his room, on his bed, but he was lying on the couch in the basement, covered by thousands of blankets.

It took him a few seconds to wipe away his sleepiness and let the memories of the night coming back to his mind.

El! He thought and stood up immediately, running to the bathroom. The girl was almost laying down on the floor, although her up body was bended over the toilet.

Crap.

Mike walked towards El, trying not to scare her; he gently laid his hand on her shoulder and sat down by her side.

"Go away." she muffled weakly looking at him. She was pale and there was a layer of sweat on her forehead.

"No way I'm leaving you."

She was about to protest when another wave of nausea hit her making her turn again to the toilet. Mike immediately pulled her hair back and waited while the poor girl emptied her stomach one more time.

It took a good couple of minutes, but El finally managed to calm down, flushing and getting away from the toilet, without even thinking, probably, she reached for him, putting her head on his chest and breathing deeply.

"Feeling better?" Mike asked tentatively, hugging her while gently caressing her back.

El snorted, and he understood that she was definitely still feeling like crap. "I really need to brush my teeth." She whispered, her face still pressed on him.

"I think I might have an extra toothbrush somewhere in the cabinet."

Mike felt her sigh, it was a mix between relief and tiredness and he knew she must have been exhausted.

"You are lucky the door of the bathroom was open and I found it, I almost threw up on you." El informed, chuckling a little, like she wanted to ease the tension.

"Lucky me, then." He tried to joke, but didn't quite work. "Do you think you can stand up? You need to rest and I'll go find something to eat and drink for you."

"But I'm comfy here." She sounded like a little girl.

"No discussions, you need to lay down." He regretfully pulled her away and stood up, giving her his hand which she grabbed after a few seconds, holding onto it like she was to drift away if she didn't.

"Let me get the toothbrush." Mike said moving away, but El didn't let him go.

"I feel too dizzy." She murmured becoming even paler than before.

"Oh, ok, can you hold yourself on the sink for a second?"

"I think so…"

Mike carefully helped her to reach it, placing her hands on the cold white pottery. "Hold on, ok? Don't let go." He quickly turned his back and opened the small cabinet, messing it until he found what he was looking for.

"I look disgusting." He heard El whisper. "My god, I should hide."

"Shut up," he told her while getting back behind her and handing the toothbrush. "You are pretty."

"Pretty?" she repeated looking somehow doubtful.

"Yeah, pretty, really pretty."

Wheeler, seriously?!

But instead of arguing, El smiled a little and her cheeks became a little bit more colored.

He waited for her to brush her teeth and when she was done, his arm found his way around her waist and helped her to move from the bathroom back to the couch.

"You need food and liquids, so wait here and I am going to find something for you." He kind of commanded as she was finally secure on the couch.

"Yes sir." El joked again, a playful smile on her lips.

Making sure, one last time, that she wasn't going to fall and was warm enough, he climbed the stairs and rushed into the kitchen. He got some bread and cookies and put the kettle on the stove to make some tea.

He had never got drunk in his entire life, but he couldn't say the same for his sister, who on the contrary, used to drink pretty much every weekend while she was in high school. Their parents had never found out, too oblivious and wrapped in their own world, but Mike had always been a silent observer and his room was right in front of his sister's, he had heard her stumbling and falling thousands of times, until one night he had decided to help her. At the age of fourteen, Mike Wheeler had become a 'hangover expert' as Nancy used to call him.

Once the water was ready, he placed everything on a tray and went back downstairs.

"You still awake?" he asked gently getting close to El.

"Yes, the room starts to spin as soon as I close my eyes."

"It'll pass soon, you already have less alcohol in your body now." He said sitting next to her and passing the tray. "There are cookies and bread, it should help your stomach and I made some green tea, it should help your hangover, I'll give you some aspirin after you ate."

El turned and gave him an amused, yet confused look. "How do you know so much about hangovers?"

"My sister, I was the one taking care of her." He quickly explained.

They both fell silent as El started to poke her food and taking little sips of her beverage.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly after a few minutes.

She smiled, a very fake smile if Mike could say. "I'm ok."

He didn't want to be pushy, giving her time, but he was worried and couldn't just pretend that nothing happened. "You can trust me, you know that, right?"

El nodded, avoiding his gaze and deciding that breaking the poor cookie was better than talking to him.

There was silence again, a weird silence that full of questions and that for some reasons weighted on them like the worst mountain.

"You can go sleep in your room if you want." She murmured while nursing slowly her tea.

"Uhm… I actually can't…" Mike started and knew he had to explain when he saw her confused face again. "I shouldn't be here? I was supposed to stay at Will's so…"

"Wait, you were busy?" El asked, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, uhm, sort of, I was invited to spend the night with the group, you know? The one I have lunch with?"

"Oh god." She whispered and her voice cracked. "I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry Mike I really shouldn't have called, I…"

"No, no," Mike interrupted and felt his heart breaking when he noticed that tears had started to show in her eyes. "You needed me, it's ok, you don't need to apologize."

"No, I should have dealt with it on my own, I'm so sorry, please, forgive I didn't mean to…" and with that she broke into sobs. Hiccupping and crying so hard that Mike thought she was going to pass out.

He immediately took the tray away from her, putting it on the floor, and went to wrap his arms around her shaking figure, wondering what the hell was going on to the girl that had always been so strong.

"It's ok, it's ok." Mike kept whispering, cradling her and keeping her close.

"Mike, I'm sorry." She told him parting a little. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, please stop apologizing."

"No…" El sobbed. "I have to."

"El, I can have plenty of sleepovers, ok? It's ok, really."

"No, Mike you don't understand." She managed to say before crying even harder.

And that made Mike wonder what she was talking about, something was telling him that there was something else going on. So he decided to let her calm down and then ask questions, he wouldn't let her go without knowing what had happened to her.

Slowly, her crying quite down, leaving her a little shaky and probably emotional drained, but he wasn't going to give up.

"I know you don't want to talk, that you must be tired and just want to sleep, but you need to talk to me, you need to tell me what's going on, because honestly this is freaking me out."

"Mike, it's nothing…"

"No." and he was getting a little bit angry, mostly due to the fact that he was scared for her. "You call me drunk, while in the middle of the road in freaking December. You sounded like… something had happened and then you tell me you don't want to go home and you just… cry and fall apart. Something is wrong, El, you can trust me and I can help you."

She didn't speak but he didn't give up. "Did you do something… illegal?"

"What? No!"

"Did you… did someone said something to you?"

She didn't answer and that made his heart race faster. "Did… did someone… hurt you?" he felt like he was going to throw up.

El sighed, deeply, parting from him and sitting a little bit farther; he waited patiently observing how she was nervously playing with her hands. "What I am going to tell you needs to stay only between you and I, ok?" her voice came out broken and lower than usual, but Mike forced himself to nod, staying in silence and respecting her times. A bubble of anxiety started to grow, and he wasn't really sure if he wanted to know at that point.

"I lied to you" she started, looking at the floor and sounding more hurt than ever. "When I told you my story, I lied. My mom didn't die, she is still alive."

Mike frowned slightly confused, but guessed that there was definitely more of the story, so he let her talk.

"I was three at the time and I was living with her. One day, though, someone from social services came to get me and put me in a foster house because, in their opinion, my mom wasn't able to take of me anymore." El stopped like she was trying to gather energies to keep going. "I didn't really know what was going on, you know? One day I was home, the next I was somewhere else. It wasn't until I was adopted that I found out that she is still alive but… it's more like she isn't. They are not sure what happened to her but, to make it short, it seems like part of her brain just stopped working and now she is… she is not even able to speak."

Mike grabbed her hands, hoping she would stop torturing them and that gesture would give her some kind of comfort.

"The thing is, she is still alive because there are machines and doctors with her 24/7 making sure she is still fine and those people and machines are paid… are paid by him." El said the last part with so much pain and anger that honestly scared Mike.

"We have a pact, you know? I have to follow everything he says and do everything he wants and he'll keep her alive. If I don't do it, he will stop everything."

He couldn't believe it, was there someone who would actually do something like that?

"I know what you are thinking, and you are right, what human being could actually do something so mean? He can. I didn't believe him at the beginning, but he made sure I would when he literally ordered the doctors to end everything right in front of me. I was ten." She quickly wiped away a tear. "I have no idea where my mom was before I was adopted, but the first thing he did when I got here, was to make sure that I knew that he had her." She shook her head as she couldn't believe it either.

"What happened tonight was because of this… I tried to talk to him about you and… leaving the group…"

"El…" Mike couldn't help it.

"No, it was a promise, it is a promise and I had to try."

"What happened then?"

Her look was so empty. "He started to yell, to tell me how ungrateful I was, that he was the one who saved me and that… I had to choose… I had to choose between you and my mom."

At that point Mike was speechless and felt like someone had thrown a punch into his stomach.

"I…" El started to sob again. "I chose… I chose her."

"Oh El." Mike spoke softly, hugging her again. "You made the right choice, your mom is way more important than me."

"The thing is, Mike, I… can't do this, I can't spend my life being… trapped by him, afraid that he might hurt her every time I do something he doesn't want me to do."

"So that's why you got drunk?"

El sighed for the hundredth time, like she needed to recharge herself before talking. "After the fight, we still needed to go to the damn party, so I wore what he wanted, did everything he wanted, he was already upset and I didn't want to cause another scene. But the thing is… Troy, well he knows…"

"Knows what?" Mike asked trying to understand.

"He is supposed to… keep an eye on me and report to… him, if I do things that I'm not supposed to do. So… he talked to him, he told him… Well, I'm not sure what he actually told him, they talked while I wasn't there."

"You mean that… Troy knows about your mom? And that your father is threatening you and he is not doing anything with it?"

She let herself laugh, an empty and fake laugh that made Mike's blood freeze in his veins. "Mike, Troy is helping my father, he tells him everything that I do, wherever I go or whoever I see. He loves to this and…" she paused, not sure if she could actually continue. "And if I disobey, he makes sure that I remember who I belong to. So, I fought with Troy too and… I was so mad and upset and I just started to drink whatever kind of alcohol there was around."

"Did… did Troy hurt you?"

"No, Mike." She answered sweetly, as to reassure him. "He knows he is not supposed to do it."

"But he did it? Before?"

"I…" El breathed deeply. "It happened only once, he slapped me but Brenner found out and they have an agreement."

His head was spinning as everything she had told him was slowly sinking in. He couldn't stay sit so he stood up, starting to pace around the basement, while El was watching him with wide eyes.

There were too many things, he wasn't even sure if he could process all of them. There was a weird feeling, a powerful anger that was rising and he felt like he wanted to smash things, or better, destroy those son of a bitch. How could they do this? Where was their conscience? But the question that was ringing in his head since the beginning was: why El? Why did she have to go through this? She didn't deserve any of that crap. Hadn't she had already enough?

Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why she had never talked to anyone about this? Why she didn't look for help? What was all of that about?

"Does anyone else know?" he asked abruptly, giving voice to his thoughts.

"No, I… I have been too afraid to tell this to people, I shouldn't have told you either, but… I can't do this anymore."

He kept pacing, back and forth, having no idea what to do, what to say, how to react.

"I didn't mention your name, if that's what you are worried about." El informed weakly, staring at the floor.

That made him stop. "What?" he wondered, his voice full of incredulity.

"I didn't say your name, to him, I just told him that I had a friend and…"

"You are kidding me right?" he cut her almost mad. "Do you really think I would care about it? It didn't even cross my mind!"

They stared at each other, Mike wanting to kick something and El almost ready to cry again.

"I thought…" she whispered but didn't finish her sentence.

"I don't know what you thought, El, but if you think that… that is the only thing that went through my mind, then you really don't know me."
"Mike, I…" she tried to stand up, as she wanted to reach for him, like she wanted to comfort him. Because, that's who she was, always ready to be there for him even if she was the one falling apart.

"You have to sit down, El." He rushed by her side, gently pushing her back on the couch.

"I'm sorry." She said again.

"I need you to stop telling me that, you don't have to be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong, this is not your fault."

"I dragged you into this, of course it's my fault."

"I dragged you into my shit too, El, so what? What did you want to do? Not telling me anything?"

"You… this is not your battle to fight, you should just forget everything that I told you and move on and…"

"Stop." Mike almost screamed. "Just stop, ok? You can't tell me this. How do you expect me to… forget this? Forget what they are doing to you? What you are going through?"

"This is not your problem to solve, you can't help me." El stated almost getting mad herself.

"And so what?"

"So you should just ignore this."

"I'm not going to. I'm not going to ignore you or anything related to you."

"This is not a game, Mike, you have your life and…"

"What life?! What are you talking about? My life started the moment you stopped me at school that afternoon! Goddamn it El!"

He walked away, taking a deep breath, and trying to calm down.

Isn't it funny how we always fight about who cares more about the other? It was funny in a certain way and it was that thought that made him cool off, able to turn back and going to sit down next to her again.

They stared at each other, without talking, both with a lot of thoughts in their heads. There were tons of things he wanted to tell her, some of them were angry things, some of them were just… words, hoping they could help her feeling better, but knowing already how useless they were going to sound.

She made the first move, placing her soft and small hand on his, squeezing it and sighing in relief when he squeezed it back.

"How do we always end up fighting?" El smirked sadly, reading his mind.

"Well… it's easy it you think about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Because…" Say it, just say it. "Because we care about each other."

Mike turned to face her, their gaze meeting, their eyes connected and… something vibrated, something started to slowly take its place. There was something in her eyes, some sort of clarity and… relief?

Somehow, though, in his mind he couldn't help thinking that it was the worst moment ever, she was hurt, tired and there was no way this could end up like he wanted. He should stop everything, but what was everything?

He should find a way to stop himself from getting embarrassed, this was not what he had planned… he really hadn't planned anything at all but… she was there and they were both moving towards each other, slowly as it looked more like a dream rather than reality.

And then, Mike saw El's lips parting a little and his heart started to speed.

Her brown eyes were sparkling again, he could see them so clearly, so close, and damn, if they were stunning. She was there and she was beautiful. Mike felt like he was drowning in the deepest ocean, losing his breath as he was falling slowly deeper and deeper in the water and El, well, she was the only one who could show him how to breathe again.

So, he did it, he closed that small space between them, their lips touching gently, and everything disappeared. There were only two things in the whole room: her and her perfume reassuring him that she was real and perfect.

El got closer, pressing onto him, her hands moving to his hair as his went to cup her cheeks.

They didn't move for what it seemed to be years. Pressed against each other; lips against lips and body against body. There was no rush, there were no expectations, just the two of them, there, alone and against the whole world.

It wasn't a kiss like you see in the movies; no, it was a kiss that was more innocent than anything else, it was sweet and completed unplanned and unexpected. It was the best thing that had ever happened in his life.

He had no idea who parted first, when they parted or after how long they did it; the only thing he knew was that at one point he saw El's eyes open again and the tiniest but happiest smile on her face that made his heart pound faster and faster.

He wasn't ready to pull away yet and it look like she wasn't ready either as she moved to press her forehead against his.

"If this is a dream I never want to wake up." El spoke so quietly after hours.

Were they hours? Or just mere seconds?

He was supposed to tell her something, wasn't he? But his brain was somewhere else, his entire mind was somewhere else; he couldn't really understand how that had just happened, how she was seriously there and she was the one worried about it being a dream.

Without even realizing it a chuckle left his mouth and Mike thought that if he was going to die in that moment, well, he would definitely die as the happiest man on earth.

"What's so funny?" El breathed and he could see the same little smile on her lips, the one that she had done before and that he had never seen.

There were tons of things he could have said, maybe smart things, or less cheesy things, but as he had no filters on, the only answer that came out of his mouth was something that not even he was prepared for. "There's no way you could be more perfect than this."

El stopped breathing for a second at his words and then she blushed, her cheeks turning into a soft shade of red that made her look even cuter. "Who knew you would be such a mushy person."

"Oh so now I am the soft one?" he teased as El moved a little, just enough to be able to look at him in the eyes.

She laughed, her usual laugh, her happy one, the one he grew so fond of. "Maybe, but I like it."

And besides the fact that he was on cloud nine and that El wasn't freaking out like he thought she would do and she looked actually happy; Mike started to feel that usual wave on insecurity as thousands of doubts started to crawl back, taking the place of that amazing feeling of happiness he had felt only instants ago.

He let his arms fell down and moved away from her, not sure if what he was doing was right with her, if maybe was too much.

"Mike?" her voice unsure, as he avoided her gaze.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it, I definitely overstepped and you weren't feeling ok…"

"Stop it." She told him and moved to be close to him again. "Just stop that damn mind of yours, ok? I… it was… I wanted it too, Mike."
She did?!

"You did?!" he asked, wide eyes and astonishment all over him.

"I did." She confirmed smiling, that smile again and he tried to think if there had been other times when she had smiled in that special way. "I really did."
Oh.

"Oh."

"And you know what?" El asked, a mischievous look appearing as she moved even closer.

"What?" he whispered, suddenly aware of what she wanted to do.

"I wouldn't mind doing it again." And with that, El pulled him towards her, kissing him one more time.