OK: I admit it. I suck. I'm sorry it took this long, but there was just too many things going on in my life - and inside my head - to work on this or any other stories. I hate to get caught up in a story only to find it hasn't been updated in months, if not years, and is likely that it never will. I swore to myself I never would do that. Then again, I also swore never to become a lurker, so...
I can't promise fast - or even regular - updates, but I WILL START WORKING ON THIS STORY AGAIN. I have another chapter almost ready, I will tweak a few things and post it sometime next week, but after that it will take a while.
On that topic, RL finally caught up with my super beta/sounding board, the amazing Shywr1ter, so from this chapter on I'll be working without her help. That means that any and all mistakes -and there will be many - will be solely my responsability. Still, many thanks are due for all her hard work over the last two years. A huge thank you to Mari as well, for her friendship and support, even when she's swamped with her classes. Your Nekkid Logan has apparently been misplaced in the mail, but it will get there eventually :P
Most of all, THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to read my ramblings, you've made all this effort more than worth it.
Peace out.
Chapter 11 – Consequences.
Terminal City - April 09, 2022. 10.45 PM
Alec was still trying to process everything when Max lunged at Jess again. Cursing himself for getting distracted he blocked Max's blow, grasped her arm and threw her over his shoulder. Max flew against the wall, but as she was about to hit it twisted and landed feet first, jumping away from it to fall in a defensive crouch in front of him. Now she did look at him. Alec wished she hadn't.
Max had schooled her expression into the familiar 'soldier' mask, but her eyes were wild, pupils fully dilated and focused on him.
"Alec, get the fuck out of my way. This does not concern you!" max glanced at Jess, still with her back against the far wall. "This is between the little bitch and me."
"Wrong. She's a soldier under your command, our command, and I'm not letting you kill her just because she wore the wrong t-shirt." His attempt at levity was weak, he knew, but he had to try. This Max, he had never seen before. He had seen her angry, sad, hurt, determined, but never this...furious. And never so focused at the same time. He just didn't know how to handle her. So he took a page from her own manual, and decided to wing it.
"Stand down, soldier! She's not the enemy, she's one of us, and she will be debriefed properly. But you're too close to this, Max. You're barely in control. Let me do it."
"Are you out of your mind? No way in hell I'm letting her out of my sight!"
"Max, stop! I know what you're thinking, and I agree. I can smell it, too." he softened his tone, trying to calm her. "Just let me do it, Max. Take a break, go see Cindy. This concerns her too, after all. I promise to keep you informed. But as things stand now, the only thing you'll accomplish is to scare her away."
Max looked at him with the old mix of distrust and wariness he had received in his first months in Seattle. He hadn't seen it in over a year. After a few seconds Max relaxed her stance, and relented.
"OK. I was getting sick of sitting around anyway. A long ride sounds good. I'll be back in the morning. I expect answers then."
"All right Max. You'll have them, I promise."
With a last long, hard look at the scared teenager Max turned on her heels and walked away. Just as Alec was starting to relax, Max stopped and turned her head slightly, looking at them over her shoulder.
"And Alec? You better hope I like what I hear. For both your sakes".
As he watched Max walk away, he heard a rustle of clothes behind him. Turning to Jessica he saw her expression go from scared to hardened determination. In light of everything that had happened in the last five minutes, there was only one thought in his mind.
'Fuck.'
Crash – April 9, 2022 11.30 PM
Original Cindy was enjoying herself . She'd been flirting with a tall, long-legged redhead for the last few nights, and it had finally payed off. They were at the bar, Amanda sitting towards the wall, playing coy, and Cindy lounging sideways in her stool, her back to the door. Just as she was about to lean and whisper something extremely inappropriate in Amanda's ear, she felt every hair on her neck raising. Stifling a shiver, she turned to the door and saw Max. And then she saw Max's face. 'Shit' Cindy touched Amanda's arm lightly.
"Hey sugga, could you wait here a mo'? Original Cindy needs to talk to someone."
Amanda seemed surprised at first, then followed Cindy's gaze toward Max, who was walking straight towards them. Cindy's attention was still on Max when she felt the redhead stiffen and pull away from her. Original Cindy was confused, until she saw Amanda staring daggers at Max, and her friend was more than willing to return the favor. Letting out an annoyed snort, Cindy faced Max.
"You. Table at the back. Go." Turning back to Amanda, she put two fingers on her lips to stop her angry outburst. "She's a friend. She's Cindy's best friend and she's been hurtin' for a long while now. Original Cindy needs to be there for her boo, but that don't mean she won't have time fo' you later on...if you still game, that is."
For a moment it seemed that Amanda wasn't convinced, but then Cindy felt her smile, and stifled a slight gasp as she felt Amanda nipping playfully at her fingertips.
"Later it is, then."
"Dayum, girl. You're on." Cindy let out a shuddering sigh, and walked to Max's table.
Terminal City - April 09, 2022. 11.20 PM
Alec sat in his office looking curiously at Jessica.
It had taken him a while to convince her to follow him in, she had tried to leave as soon as Max was out of sight. In the end, he'd been forced to order her inside. In hindsight, it had been a mistake. Jess had obeyed, yes, but she had also closed down, refusing to look directly at him; she sat down, but remained aloof, expressionless.
"OK, Jessica, right?"
"My designation is X6-475, Sir!"
"Fine, 475 it is. Lets cut to the chase, shall we? Tell me about Logan."
"Who? I know no one by that name. Sir."
Alec was getting angry. Things were starting to go right, and Max seemed to be doing well. He didn't need this shit. Nobody did. "Don't play games with me soldier! I n case you hadn't noticed, things are going to be a little difficult for you when Max gets back, unless you give me something to make her happy."
"That's alright. I don't intend to be here when she does. Sir."
Alec rubbed his eyes tiredly. It had been a long day for him, too. He decided to change tactics.
"Look, you don't need to leave, in fact you will be safer here. We have a lot experience with x-series pregnancies, and have all the medical personnel needed to assist you. You ARE safe here."
Jessica snorted. "Yes, I've seen how safe I can be here. And you should remember that we've had the same training. Sir. You're not going to talk me into staying." she looked away from him, relaxing her stance a little. "He was right about you, at least."
Alec pounced on that. "He was? And what did he tell you about me?"
"Nothing I didn't know already. That you excelled at manipulating, among other things."
Alec felt his temper rising. 'Great. Just fucking great. Now I'm the villain to people that I've never met.' Reminding himself that the man had reasons to hate him, however misguided, he calmed down.
"So what was he wrong about, then?"
Jessica hesitated, before looking straight at his eyes. "He said that I could always trust Ma...452 to take care of another transgenic. He obviously didn't know her as well as he thought."
"Listen, don't judge Max for that. She's been under a lot of pressure this last two years. And things with Logan ...well, let's just say that it could have gone better. But she's not a bad person, and you'll see it as soon as she's back. I'm pretty sure that Original Cindy will calm her down, and she'll be back to her usual self in the morning. Meanwhile, why don't you tell me about Logan?"
"I already told you, I don't know anyone by that name. Sir."
"OK, then tell me about him. The one that told you to seek Max."
Jessica took a deep breath before continuing. "He... the man that told me to come here was a...friend. He helped me with some things. But I couldn't remain where I was, so he got me sector and city passes, money and directions to this facility. He told me to look for Max, that she would help me, and that I could trust her and one other person only. Now, I'm not sure what to think about that other person, but I think that I won't get any help from 452."
Alec leaned forward with interest. "Other? Who? Who did he tell you to contact?"
"That information is classified. And with all due respect, you don't have the clearance for it."
"Cut that bullshit, soldier! I'm SiC of Terminal City, which means that you answer to me and to Max."
"Wrong. You might outrank me and be in charge of this base, but I'm not a part of your command, and my previous orders come from someone of higher rank than yours, or hers for that matter." Jess took a deep breath and made direct eye contact for the first time. "I won't tel you anything. I won't betray Ste...my contact's trust. So you can either torture me or let me go."
Alec was stunned, and a little pissed. 'She really thinks I would do it. That I would try to torture it out of her...' The worst part was that it made sense. From Logan's standpoint, he was more than capable of doing it. Yes, it angered him that the young transgenic would automatically think the worst of him, hell, that Logan would. But mostly, it just hurt. He was offended. After all he had done to be a better person, to live up to Max's - and to Logan's, he had to admit- standards, he was still regarded as a cruel, heartless prick. It didn't help that some of the people in Terminal City thought that he had enjoyed himself while lying to Logan. Not many, not even most people, but still...
Alec gathered his thoughts and looked again at the younger transgenic.
"OK, lets get something straight. Whatever you think, whatever Logan told you about me, the only thing that you need to know is that any and all transgenics are welcome here, as long as they follow the rules."
"And what are those rules? Sir."
"One, Max is always right. Two, everything Max does will be in the best interest of anyone here, even if it doesn't seem so at first. Three, Max doesn't give out orders, she makes suggestions. Four, take all her suggestions as orders. Five, never, and I mean never piss her off. Six, every now and then Max fucks up. In that case, see rule number one. Do you understand these rules?"
Jessica stared at him. "Are you joking? Those are the rules of this facility?"
"You have to understand something. Max is one of the '09 escapees. Which means she's been out and running for over twelve years now. She knows how to survive, how to blend in, how everything really works in this fucked up city. She knows who sells tryptophan, where to buy used clothes, when and where to find fresh produce before it hits the stalls. And she feels, hell she is responsible for all of us. She's one of the oldest X5's left alive, and she was SiC of her unit. She was trained for deep undercover and infiltration, and for leadership. As much as she denies it, as much as she fights it, she's a born leader. And no matter how much we hate her and her unit for escaping, for what they did to us afterwards, she's the best one for the job. And she knows it. That's what these rules are about. She hates Manticore, hates everything they did to her, to all of us, but the fact remains that we're not ready to go traipsing around. These rules are her way of keeping a semblance of military discipline and structure without actually having military discipline and structure. And you know what? It works. We have a familiar structure without the drills, the punishments, the fear. If you oversleep and are late for your assignments she will make you pay for it; she'll yell at you, shame you into doing better, give you shitty assignments. But she will never hit you, torture you or have you confined. Now, let me be clear. The only reason Max went psycho on you was Logan."
"Again, Sir, I do not know the person you are talking about."
"Whatever. Him, then. You know, the one that gave you that shirt? The one whose smell is all over you? Which reminds me, you really should change clothes. Take a shower, too. Get his scent off of you before Max gets another whiff of Èau de Logan and goes postal on you again." Alec let out a heavy sigh. "To put it simply, Logan is her breaking point. They've gone through so much together, fought together, suffered together...and she can't be objective about him. Never could, and probably never will. As far as she's concerned, the sun rises and sets when he says so, and rainbows come out of his ass." He paused again, annoyed at his own outburst. " The important thing is...the thing you need to understand, Max loved Logan. She didn't understand what it was, and it took her a year to get it. And then she was wounded and captured when Lydecker and some of the 09'ers attacked Manticore two years ago. Eventually she escaped and burned the place to the ground, but not before she was injected with a retrovirus targeted specifically to Logan's DNA. Now, Max loved Logan, Logan loved Max, and they couldn't be with each other without Logan dying. They struggled, fought and tried to stay together, to find a cure. In the end, Max cracked. It was the only time I saw her breaking down. And then she did something very stupid."
"She went back to her breeding partner. To you. I know the story. Sir"
Alec flinched at the coldness in her tone, laced with anger and contempt. 'Damn, Logan did a real job on her, too'
"No. We never were...well, we were, but we never did uhmm, consummate. The first thing she did was to kick my ass across the room, and tell me that was the only contact we would ever have. And she meant it. The whole dating me deal was a lie, a stupid, cruel lie for Logan's benefit. You see, he had gotten careless ant touched her, and seeing him infected, almost dying, was too much for her. For all her good qualities, all of her strengths, Maxie is weak and irrational when it comes to him. So she did the only thing that she could think of, and lied to him to make Logan hate her. It was a bad situation, that eventually went FUBAR. I'm not telling you this to make you like me, or Max. I need you to understand why she attacked you, and why she's not going to let you go. If you run, she'll track you down and then you really will be in trouble. Remember the fifth rule." He raised a hand to forestall Jess interruption. " I know, it's not fair. It doesn't matter. Things are what they are, and you are a part of all this shit now. All I am asking of you is that you give Maxie a chance, and tell her what she needs to hear."
" And what might that be? I hope you don't expect me to give you his location, because that will never happen. If he wanted her to know his whereabouts he would have contacted her. So no matter how or why he left, he chose to leave this facility and her in the past. And nothing you say will change that." Jessica hesitated, her gaze lost for a moment before focusing back on Alec. "He still hurts, you know? I could see it. He would be talking about food, or basketball, or a book, and his eyes would cloud. He usually recovered quickly, but I could see the pain and despair there before he could cover it up. I wondered about it, and when he...helped me during my heat, he told me about her. And I hated her. I hated that someone could hurt him so badly. That someone would."
As Jessica said this last part she placed her hands protectively on her belly. This didn't go unnoticed. Alec felt a cold shiver down his spine.
"When he helped you with your heat? What do you mean exactly?" He didn't want to know, really. He was afraid to know the answer. And the defiant stare he got from Jess just made the knot in his stomach worse.
Crash – April 9, 2022 11.45 PM
Original Cindy cocked a perfectly stiled eyebrow at her friend. She opened her mouth as if to speak, only to close it with a baffled expression. She repeated the act a few more times before speaking.
"OK Boo. Run that by Original Cindy once more. There's this little girl, new on the 'hood. She's pregnant. And she showed up wearing our boy's clothes. That about right?"
Max just grunted, draining her beer in one long swallow.
"Not just his clothes, Cindy. The little bitch had his scent all over her. She knows where Logan is, and she's going to tell me!"
Cindy was taken aback by the intensity, the anger in Max's voice.
"Look, Original Cindy knows what you're feeling, aiight? She understands, and she misses Logan, too. But It seems to her that you're a little too angry about this."
"A little angry? A little? She shows up in my city, wearing his clothes like nothing's wrong! Who the fuck does she think she is?"
Original Cindy stared hard at her friend. She wasn't making any sense, but the anger was there, and it didn't seem to be going away any time soon. Then a though occurred to her.
"Max. Original Cindy's gonna ask you something very simple. An' she expects a direct answer, OK?"
"Yeah, OK. What is it?"
"Do you hate her 'cause she wears his clothes? 'Cause she can touch him? 'Cause she probably did? Or is it 'cause you think Logan's her baby's daddy?"
That did it. Max was mid-swallow when Cindy asked the last question, and the beer went down the wrong way. After much coughing and sputtering, and after wiping her mouth, nose and hands Max sat there looking lost. a while later she mumbled something.
"Boo?"
"I said yes. To all your questions."
"Hmm. Original Cindy thinks she sees the green-eyed monster rearin' it's head."
"What? What does that even mean?"
"That you're jealous, Boo."
"No shit, Sherlock!" Max snorted "I wanted to kill Asha every time she touched Logan. And there were several X5 and even a couple X6's trying to get their fucking mitts on my man! And now this one comes not only smelling like him, but pregnant..."
"Look Max, you said that she tol'you she got pregnant during her heat? You better than anyone understand that there wasn't much she could do 'bout that. But that's not what's eatin' you, is it. Is the fact that Logan would have sex with her." Original Cindy shook her head with an annoyed expression. "You can't have both ways Boo. You wanted our boy to be happy, to have a new life." Cindy held up her hand to stop Max's objections. "Yeah, Original Cindy knows you wanted to kiss and make up with him, so to speak. But that's no longer possible. Original Cindy knows that you been holdin' on the idea that one day he would come back to you...that he would still be yours. But you gotta step to the real, an' see things as they are. Now, Original Cindy knows that Logan ain't gonna marry this little girl, an' she seriously doubts that he's the daddy, 'cause we both know that there ain't no way in hell that boy woulda' let her go, transgenic or not. He mighta' not married her, but he woulda stepped up an' taken responsibility for the little one. Original Cindy knows fo' sure that Logan sent this girl here, to you, so she could be taken care of properly. You still love that boy? You wanna do right by him? Then do what he wants. What he needs. Logan sent her to TC so she would be safe. So stop cryin' and do your job."
Max looked at her with anger, but after a few moments her eyes softened and dropped to her hands.
"But it hurts, Cindy. I thought that I was done hurtin'"
"I know, Boo. But you gotta' go back, talk to her, and make it right."
Max huffed angrily. "Do I really have to? Can't I just hook her up and like, never see her again?"
"Stop pouting, girl! It ain't cute right now. And no, you have to make nice to her. If you apologize, and behave as you shoulda' in the first place, maybe this Jessica will tell you how to contact Logan. Mind you, you can't just demand she tell you. If she's anything like you it'll only make her clam up faster. But you treat her right, be straight with her an' tell her everything, she might give you what you want."
That, finally, brought a small smile to Max's face.
Los Angeles, January 21, 2022 12.15 AM
After walking around the streets near his house for hours he finally found her walking in a daze. She looked like hell. Her hair was dirty and matted, her shirt ripped, she had lost a shoe and had a split lip and a nasty bruise on one cheek. At first she didn't hear Logan call her name. It took a few tries before she acknowledged his presence. The look of fear and self loathing on her face tore at him. She looked very much like Max had on the night after their first anniversary.
'God, I'm too late...'
'Whatever. Just be careful, aaight? This ain't Max. You have no idea how she'll react to you.'
'Don't bring her up...'
'Chill, man. I'm just sayin'...'
Logan tried one more time. "Jessica...? Are you alright?" He approached her slowly, avoiding any sudden moves. The last thing he wanted was to spook her.
'Spook her? She's not a fuckin deer, idiot. She's a genetically engineered killing machine. Worry about your own ass for once.'
Ignoring his thoughts Logan took a last step towards her, and stood at her side. He touched her arm lightly, just two fingertips, attempting to make eye contact with her.
"Jessica? Jess...talk to me, please. Are you alright?"
Jess did react then, staring intently at his hand before locking eyes with him. After a few seconds she snorted and dropped her gaze. "No Stephen. I'm not OK. I'm as far from OK as a person can be right now." With that she started walking away from him.
"Jessica, wait! I can help you." Jess stopped walking, but didn't turn to him. "You came to me for help. And I failed you. Let me help you now, at least."
Jessica let out a mirthless laugh. It was a heartbreaking sound, a mixture of pain and despair that jarred in his ears. "You can't help me now." Logan was about to argue this when she spoke again. "You don't know what you're dealing with. It's better for you if you just walk away now. Goodbye Stephen."
Logan took a deep breath. It was now or never.
"I do understand, Jessica..."
'Shit, you better be right about this...'
"...You are not the first X-series in heat I've encountered."
Jessica stood still, knees slightly bent, weight shifted on the balls of her feet, shoulders hunched inwardly, arms hanging loosely at her sides. It was a deceptively relaxed posture, one that he had seen Max take countless times; one that didn't fool him at all. Logan knew that she was ready to pounce in an instant. Hell, that's what it would take her to cover the thirty feet between them. If he said the wrong thing now he would be dead before his eye could fully register her moving.
'Now you notice...'
'You're not helping.'
His attention was brought back to the fetid streets by the soft, cold tone of Jess voice.
"What did you just said?"
Logan was speechless. She was facing him now, eyes narrowed to slits, her head cocked slightly to the left, her hair cascading on that side...she looked so much like Max...Bracing himself, he took a deep breath and started walking slowly towards her, stopping a few feet away.
"You heard me. I've met other X-series. Many of them, in fact. And I've seen one the day after she went into heat. Not before; that's why I didn't recognize the signs, although in hindsight they were quite obvious. In my defense, I've tried very hard to forget I ever had anything to do with Manticore transgenics. You reminded me of M... of her. And I didn't want to see it. I'm sorry about that. Maybe if I weren't in denial, I could've helped you before."
"Who are you? What do you know?"
"I know about Manticore. I know you're an X-series transgenic, most likely an X6 by your age. I know how you were trained. What they did to you. I know why. And I know exactly what you could do to me, if you choose to. The question is, what will you do. Will you kill me? Run away? Or will you trust me as you did until this morning and let me help you?"
Jessica stared hard at him, her eyes flashing with distrust and anger. He knew that look, he had seen in Max the first months of their...partnership. And several times after that, in many of Terminal City residents.
'Fuck fuck FUCK! She's going to break OUR neck, you asshole!'
'Well, she'll kill me or she won't. There's nothing I can do either way'
"OK."
Logan blinked, surprised by the subdued tone. He had let his thoughts wander again.
"Excuse me? What did you say?"
" I said OK. Help me."
Logan breathed in relief. Not only because he was going to live, but because he really hoped to help Jessica. He had failed too many people, too many times. He wanted to do things right for a change.
"All right. Let's go home."
The weeks following Jessica's heat passed quickly for Logan.
They talked through the night after Jessica had showered and changed. One thing that surprised him was that now that he was paying attention he could smell the pheromones. He had been around several transgenics in heat during his stay in Terminal City, and although nothing had happened, the earthy, heavy smell was very difficult to forget. He should have noticed before, and maybe stopped Jessica from hurting herself. But the truth was that if she hadn't run, he would've had sex with her.
'You mean you woulda' fucked her brains out. 'Cos you know that's the only cure for it.'
'Whatever...'
But it was a valid point. If he had caught the early stages he could've sedated her, kept her safe. But by the time she came to him there were only two courses of action. And Jessica took the other. It didn't make it any easier for him. They had talked at length about Manticore, and their shared experiences. She told him about her last mission, and her handler's choice. He spun his tale since Max's first broke into his apartment, up to the fateful morning when his world unraveled around him. Logan told her about Eyes Only, about their first year as friends and partners, and the night before the attack on Manticore. His desolate period of mourning and revenge. About the trials of the following year. Of White, the NSA and the Familiars. But mostly about them.
Alec and Max.
494 and 452.
The next morning Logan escorted Jessica to her apartment, and promised to help her in any way she needed. As it turned out she needed him before long.
Los Angeles, Late March 2022.
There had been rumors about Jessica all over the school, apparently someone had spotted her walking around on the prowl, and later saw the state she was after giving in to her hormones. It would have stopped there, as idle gossip if not for small detail.
Jessica was pregnant.
Logan considered to have her transferred, but the scandal would only grow like that, and after the allegations of improper conduct at school the problem would just follow her around. In the end she decided to skip town. And in a moment of weakness Logan mentioned the transgenic heaven in Seattle. Assured her that Max would care for her, for her family. And gave her the name of one another contact in case something went wrong.
As part of the preparations for the trip Logan accessed one of his old contacts. After all, he had started with very little, and knew all those contacts by heart. What he hadn't expected was to find the Informant Network up and running again. When he accessed the blind email account that he had set up as part of his cover identity he received an email with the correct codes and passwords to resume contact. Logan assumed that either Matt Sung or Sebastian had done it, and used the new list of contacts and informants to procure the necessary papers to get Jessica out of the city. He entertained the idea of going back with her, but it would've been highly suspicious if both left at the same time.
'And the fact that you ain't ready to go home yet has nuttin' to do with it, right?'
Ignoring his inner struggle he focused on helping Jessica. They poured through maps of the city and it's environs, searching for the ideal entry point, possible safe ways to enter and leave TC and what to tell Max...which was nothing.
After a couple of weeks of planning Logan said goodbye to Jessica as she took a bus to nearby San Diego, then to catch a flight to Eugene, Oregon, where she would 'acquire' a car and reach Seattle on yet another identity. As they hugged goodbye Logan promised to make the trip for the birth, and let her go.
TBC...
(no, really!)