I had writer's block, but I hope this chapter makes up for it. Special thanks to Ines and Marlene for being my whiteboards for this chap. Oh and I may or may not have cried writing this chapter, so brace yourselves, ok bye!
"House, can I ask you something?"
They were sitting in front of the fireplace in the library on the third floor of Cuddy's home. It was Saturday night and Alicia had offered to take Rachel for the night having mentioned something about a musical marathon, giving House and Cuddy the night to themselves. They'd spent the evening sitting together and simply talking.
"Shoot."
"Why were you able to be there for him but not for me?" She asked, looking up at him, the pain evident in her eyes.
He tensed, having been completely thrown off by her question. The conversations they had had over the past week had never strayed from the lighter topics and knowing that her curiosity would get the best of her, he should have expected the conversation to shift towards Wilson eventually.
"I don't want to talk about it." He replied, clenching his jaw.
"Please…we both knew the conversation would turn to this, eventually…Let's just get it out of the way."
He sighed.
"Because… he was all I had left. Everyone in my life had abandoned me in one form or another, and he was the one who always came back regardless of how I treated him." He responded, averting her gaze. "The circumstances…were different with you…I was terrified of losing you. I just…now that I had you, I didn't want to picture my life without you because you made me a better person…The fear of losing you drove me to the brink of relapsing…I understood how you felt every time I did something stupid and almost killed myself, and I didn't want to feel it, especially not when it came to you. I didn't want to feel the pain of the possibility of losing you, that's why I relapsed. It wasn't because I couldn't be there for you. That was my way of trying to be there for you…by blocking out my own emotions."
"Is that why you ended up showing up to my room high?"
"Yeah…I looked fine to you, you didn't realize that I was high…but you were comforted by me showing up. I took the pills to block out my emotions because I didn't want you to see me worry because you had enough to worry about, but I have regretted it every day since. Losing you was the worst thing to ever happen to me."
There was no point in lying to her or trying to avoid the conversation any longer.
"Letting you go was a mistake." She murmured and he looked down at her to see her wiping at her eyes. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't broken up with you then, if I had just been there…but I thought I had cancer, and looking back at it, it was terrible of me to break up with you after that entire ordeal because as terrified as I was, you clearly were too, but you just didn't show it…to me at least…I didn't know you were terrified and maybe if I had, things would have ended differently…I don't know."
"You're right…I should have showed you how I felt, but you know how I am when it comes to showing people my emotions."
"I do, but this…this is progress…Thank you for being honest."
He shrugged before wiping away stray tear that was threatening to fall from one of her eyes.
"Anything else you wanted to know?"
"No…Uhm, how about we go downstairs and take a hot bath?" She asked standing and running a hand through her hair.
He caught hold of her hand.
"You okay?" He asked, bringing her hand up to his lips and brushing them against her knuckles.
"I'm fine." She replied softly.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm fine, I promise…now are you going to join me or not?"
"Yeah, I'll be down there in a few go on ahead of me."
Her hand slipped out of his as she walked out of the room.
She slipped into her bathroom and opened the faucet of her Jacuzzi sized bathtub, letting the room fill with steam as she undressed and slipped into the scalding water. She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning her head against the wall.
"Scoot forward." She heard and she opened her eyes to find House wrapped in a towel, standing in front of her.
"Nuh uh, I'll stay in the back."
"You're always in the front."
"That was then, either you can be in the front or you can just not join me."
Cuddy watched with satisfaction as he dropped the towel and slipped inside the tub in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him back against her, resting her chin against his shoulder, her hands pressed against his chest
"This is why I wanted to be in the back." She said softly.
"Mhm." He replied and she felt his hand run along her leg.
She reached behind her and grabbed the bar of soap and lathered her hands before running them over House's chest.
"Does this mean I get to wash you?" He asked turning his head and waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Not tonight."
"Buzz kill."
"Just enjoy the moment. You have the woman of your dreams lathering you up in her bathtub, after all of the things you have been through with her and after you never thought you'd never see her again. You get what you get, and you don't get upset."
She let out a soft laugh at how ridiculous she sounded before giving him a peck on the cheek.
"Give me the soap and turn around." He replied and before she could respond she could feel him taking the soap from her and watched as he turned to face her.
"Turn around."
"House."
"It's nothing sexual Cuddy, I'm not trying to force you into anything. Do you want a back massage or what?"
Reluctantly, she turned around, grateful that the tub in her bathroom was large enough to permit them to comfortably change positions.
"God, you haven't lost that magic touch." She groaned as he rubbed her shoulders, his hands relieving some of the tension that had formed in her upper back over the last few days. She let out another groan as he worked his hands down along her back, not having realized how tense her muscles really were.
"You've still got that tense spot at the small of your back." House murmured softly, digging his thumbs into her problem area.
"Yeah, but there's nothing I can do about that."
"You can try acupuncture."
"You know how I hate needles."
"You wouldn't even see them, just feel them."
"No thanks."
"Your loss."
"Have you tried acupuncture for your leg?"
"That's different."
"Pain is pain."
"My pain isn't an accumulation of stress. It was just a suggestion."
"If I get acupuncture done for my back, you have to try it for your leg."
"It won't work."
"You've never tried it, so you don't know if it will. And it might not work for my back, but I'll still try it anyway."
"Fine."
"This is nice." She replied, changing the subject as she leaned her head back against his chest.
"Yeah…" He responded as she felt his arms wrap around her. His chin rested against her shoulder and she pressed her cheek against his, taking in the calm of the moment.
By the time they had gotten out of the tub, they were wrinkled and pruned. He couldn't resist but stare at her ass when she had gotten out of the tub before him and grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapping it around her torso before handing him one without even turning to look at him. The lack of sex also meant a lack of nudity, but he wasn't bothered by it. It was her body and her choice whom she allowed to see nude; he wasn't going to make her uncomfortable after only being back in her comfort one for about a week.
He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist as she turned to face him.
"If you aren't going to bed anytime soon…you could come back after you change and we could talk or something…"
He gave her a nod before watching as she walked out of the bathroom. He waited a few minutes to give her time to change before walking into the bedroom, not wanting to have walked in on her changing, for both of their sakes. It was difficult enough for him to feel her nude form against him for so long that seeing her completely nude would not help his cause at all.
"I'll take you up on your offer." He commented before walking out of her room and down the hall into the guest room.
He changed into his pajamas; a pair of flannel bottoms and a worn out tee shirt. House ran a hand through his wet hair before making his way back towards Cuddy's bedroom.
She was sitting cross-legged on her side of the bed, her wet hair pulled up into a messy bun, looking down at her cellphone.
"Sooo." He said as he leaned against the door frame.
"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit with me?" She asked, patting the side of the bed that was usually his. He raised an eyebrow before limping over and lying down beside where she was sitting, his arms behind his head.
"Thanks for the back massage." She said softly, lying down beside him and resting her head against his chest.
"Any time." He replied, draping his arm around her and letting his hand rest against her hip and pressing his lips against her temple.
It was three in the morning when her cellphone went off and she woke up dazed, House's arm around her and their hands intertwined against her hip. She reached for her phone and flinched at the brightness of the screen. It was a missed call from Alicia.
Just as she went to call back, her phone started ringing again.
"Hello?" She asked, groggily bringing her phone to her ear. She immediately sat up at the sound of Alicia's hysterics on the other side of the line.
"Hey, hey, what's going on? Is Rachel okay? Are you okay?" She asked her heart in her throat as she heard Alicia recollect herself.
"She's asleep, she's fine." Alicia replied through sobs.
"What's going on?" Cuddy replied, a breath of relief leaving her at knowing that her daughter was okay but the worry still there for her friend.
"He hit me."
"That mother fucker." She hissed into the phone, already standing out of bed and putting on a pair of flats, not noticing that House was watching her. "Stay put. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"What's happening?" She jumped at the sound of House's voice as she was grabbing her purse.
"Alicia just called me. Her fucker of a boyfriend hit her. I'm going to go get her and Rachel."
"I'm coming with you."
"You don't need to do that."
"Cuddy, I'm not letting you go over there alone."
"Okay."
He followed Cuddy up the stairs of Alicia's apartment building, watching as she stopped in front of apartment 517, reached above the door, pulling down the spare key and opening the door in front of them.
He had never seen her so pissed off.
"Alicia?" She called as they entered the apartment and the first thing he noted were the shards of a shattered vase against the floor.
They entered the living room of the small apartment and spotted her on the floor in front of the couch, her arms around her knees and her face hidden between them.
"Oh honey."
He watched as Cuddy dropped down onto the floor beside the teenager, any anger in her dissipating as she pulled Alicia into her arms. He always admired how well she could handle any situation regardless of how she was feeling.
He had no clue what to do in this situation other than to watch as Cuddy calmed her, just as he had watched her calm Rachel in the past.
"House, the bedroom is just down the hall; can you go get Rachel please?"
He nodded before limping down the hall and opening the door.
He spotted Rachel in the center of the bed and limped over and sat down on the edge of the bed, giving her a small shake.
"Rachel."
He smirked as she let out a groan of protest and buried herself deeper into the pillows. Carefully, he pulled her into his arms and stood, spotting her jacket on a chair and draping it over her. He limped out of the bedroom and back down the hall and into the living room where both Alicia and Cuddy were now seated on the couch, a bag of peas against Alicia's cheek.
"Al, we'll go back to my place okay?" Cuddy said softly. "I'll take Rachel." She continued, reaching out for her daughter.
"It's okay, I can handle her. She's okay...Has no clue anything is actually happening." He said lightly, shrugging.
He watched as Cuddy and Alicia stood from the couch before following them out of the apartment.
The first thing she was hit with as she walked out of Alicia's apartment building was the cause of the commotion himself, Tom.
"I swear to god, if you don't get out of here in the next five seconds, I will slap you so hard that you will stumble into nineteen ninety." She hissed, her arm wrapped protectively against her friend.
"Lady look, what happened between Alicia and I, is between Alicia and I. There's no need for nosy bitches like you getting involved."
"She said back off." She heard House growl from beside her.
"This must be the guy who fucked you over so bad. You're back with him and he almost killed you in his anger. I lost my temper and I hit her. It was an accident. You can forgive him, Alicia can forgive me."
"Cuddy, take Rachel."
She complied and took her daughter out of House's arms.
"Ooh, what are you going to do?"
That was all it took for House to punch the younger man in the jaw before pressing him against the wall, his hand at the other man's throat. She had to admit that even with the disability, House's strength was still admirable.
"Listen to me you little fucker. If you step within twenty feet of either of these two again, I will shove my cane so far up your ass that there will be no way to get it out. You ever speak to Cuddy that way ever again and I will make knock all of your teeth out and so help me god if you ever lay another finger on Alicia I will kill you and make it look like an accident. Do you understand?"
She should have been terrified of House's behavior, but she had never witnessed the protective side of him come through so strongly.
She watched as Tom nodded, a smirk forming at the fear in his eyes.
"Cuddy, call the cops so this fucker can get what he deserves."
"No, please don't." Alicia murmured.
"Alicia, he needs to be punished." She said softly, her voice laced with sympathy.
"No, no. House's threat is enough, I just want to get this over with…I want to get him out of my life for good, I don't want to put up with him anymore…Please."
"Are you sure about this?"
"I'm sure, let's just go."
"Cuddy."
She looked over at House, his hand still holding Tom in place against the wall before walking over to his side.
"Let's just go…She just wants to go…"
"She doesn't know what she's doing."
"I know she doesn't but she's been through enough, let's just go home."
She placed a hand on House's upper arm as he looked down at her.
"Ok."
"Can you take Rachel for a moment, I need to get my keys out of my pocket."
She handed Rachel to him, and turned to face Tom who was struggling to breathe after House had released him.
Without hesitation, she smacked her hand against his face, hard enough that it hurt her hand to come in contact with his flesh.
"That is for Alicia you son of a bitch."
House couldn't help but smirk at the stunned look on Tom's face after Cuddy had smacked him. Having felt the sting of her palm himself, he now knew what he must have looked like when she had slapped him almost two weeks earlier.
Cuddy may be small, but there was no denying that she was strong.
"Get lost and fuck off." He heard her growl before bringing her hand up to strike Tom again. House grabbed her hand and kissed it.
"Hey, this isn't you. Violence is my turf, remember? Let's go home."
He watched as she registered what he'd said and turned, heading back towards Alicia.
He offered to drive home and surprisingly she let him, sitting in the backseat to make sure her friend was okay. When they had gotten back to Cuddy's townhouse it was almost five in the morning. He took Rachel upstairs, letting Cuddy get Alicia settled into the master bedroom.
"House?" He heard Rachel mumble as he slipped one of her stuffed animals under her arm.
"Go to back to sleep kiddo." He replied softly.
"Ok." She mumbled again, snuggling against her stuffed unicorn.
"Good night Rachel." He replied, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him, almost bumping into Cuddy as he turned to go towards his own bedroom.
"How's Alicia?" He asked, genuinely caring how the teenager was doing. He'd come to appreciate her presence over the last week; she was insightful and bright and much too mature for her age. He hated that she had to go through this type of situation at such a young age.
"She's out like a light…I gave her a sleeping pill and something for the pain…God, I can't believe this happened to her…I told her not to get back together with him, and she didn't listen to me, and then he hit her…That fucker."
"I drove my car through your house…"
"Don't. You never laid a finger on me. You never intentionally hit me. Don't compare our situation to theirs. Don't do it. The circumstances are different, the people involved are different. Tom the lowest of the low, you are not."
"Ok."
"Thank you by the way…For doing what you did…For being so protective of us all…Of myself, of Rachel…of Alicia… I know you did it for me and I really appreciate it."
"I like the kid…She's grown on me…She deserves better…She's important to you and Rachel, therefor important to me."
He was caught off guard when she pressed her lips against his, her arms finding their way around his neck. Instinctively his hands were at her waist, pulling her hips against his own. Her hands made their way into his hair, his tongue running against her teeth. He could feel himself getting turned on at the situation.
"Cuddy." He replied breathlessly, pulling away from her.
"Guest room." She responded, pressing her lips against his again.
"Are you sure?" He asked against her lips, pulling away again and looking down at her, resting his hand against her cheek.
"I'm sure."
She sat back on her calves and kissed his temple, followed by his cheek, and finally his jaw. House pulled her into his lap, running his hands along her sides as she leaned into him, desire coursing through her veins.
A small part of her felt as though it was too soon to let him back into her bed, too soon to commit the most intimate act that can take place between two people, but as she felt his hands roam her body as they had done so in the past, she knew that what is happening is right. Technically she wasn't even letting him back into her bed. She was letting him into her guest bed.
He pushed against her, gently pressing her against the headboard of the bed before he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle yet passionate manner. She took a deep breath as he pulled away, his hands traveling towards the waistband of her pajamas. He looked up at her for permission and she nodded, leaning her head against the headboard, feeling the air hit her bare skin as he pulled her pants and underwear off. Instinctively, her legs widened as he moved toward her. He pressed his lips to hers and she let out a soft moan as he slipped a finger between her legs, easily finding her clit.
Her head against the headboard, she knew he was watching her reactions as he moved his fingers inside of her; something that he had always done when he'd chosen that method to please her. She bit her lip as he pressed his thumb against her clit, pulling it down ever so slightly. She felt her body begin to quiver as she reached a hand towards his neck and pulled his face towards her own. She panted heavily as she nipped at his lips, whimpers escaping her before she cried out the pressure of his fingers against her sending her over the edge.
He moved his hands to her top as Cuddy's hands slipped inside of his pants. He slid off her top and groaned as she ran her fingers along his throbbing cock. He couldn't resist the urge to press against her hand, letting out another groan as she wrapped her hand against his shaft.
He pressed his lips against her jugular as her other hand slid up his t-shirt and she ran her nails against his back, while pressed her thumb against the top of his cock. She gave his cock a squeeze before releasing him, her hands moving to pull down his pants.
His pants are discarded and he pulled away for a moment to take off his shirt. He looked down at her and the sight of her before him after he had never expected to feel her body again was almost enough to make him want to cry.
She was so unbelievably beautiful and he had no idea how he had ended up letting her go without a fight. Everything he could ever want and need was contained in the five foot four, a hundred and twenty pounds, raven haired, and greyed woman that was Lisa Cuddy.
He wrapped his arms around her, their lips meeting as he unclasped her bra, her nails running against his chest. He held her against him, enjoying the sensation of having her bare flesh against his own. He had missed it. He had missed her.
He moved his mouth from hers and ran it along her neck. He felt her hand on his neck, holding him there as he sucked at her collarbone. He groaned as her leg wrapped around his waist, pressing against his ass to push their bodies closer together. He moved his lips away from her collarbone and kisses every inch of her chest within his reach.
"House." She moaned and he knew that she wanted him inside of her but he refused to give in just yet. He wanted to savor the moment for as long as possible after never having imagined having her in bed with him after what he had done.
He moved his lips to her breast and grazed his teeth against her nipple as she arched toward him, letting out a whimper of approval. He sucked and nibbled until her nipple was hard inside of his mouth before moving onto her other breast.
"Need you…now." He heard her mumble before feeling her hand against his cock again, guiding him towards her heat. He could feel how slick she was as he thrust into her, biting his lip as she moaned in pleasure and her back arching into him. He picked up a slow and steady pace, their bodies rhythmically moving together in a notion they had been so accustomed to.
She ground her hips against his as he thrust into her, the feel of him inside her one she had honestly thought she would never experience again. She tilted her head back panting heavily as she felt her inner walls clench around his cock. Her hand ran along his back as he continued to move inside her, her mouth roaming his neck as she felt his hands along her curves. She moved her mouth up toward his jaw and captured his lips within her own, just as he increased his pace.
Cuddy dug her nails into his back as her body tensed, arching against House and she moaned into his mouth as her orgasm began to peak, her legs wrapping against his body, pressing him as humanely close as possible.
"Fuuuck." She cried, letting out several frantic whimpers as she began to feel herself peak, one of House's arms wrapping around her waist and holding her against him as he continued to thrust into her. She felt him reach down between their bodies and felt his thumb against her clit, and in moments she was gone. She cried into his mouth as she came, her hand clinging to the back of his neck for dear life.
He could hear her muffled cries in his ears, her lips pressed against his as she tried to contain her pleasure and it was enough to send him over the edge. He groaned as he came inside of her, his lips still pressed against her own, their fingers intertwining. He felt her legs release their grip on his waist and he dropped down beside her. She leaned into him, sleepily running a finger in circles over his chest.
House wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips against her shoulder.
"I missed you." He murmured almost inaudibly against her skin.
He felt her hand against his cheek and he looked down at her, her eyes soft.
"I don't deserve you." He said softly.
"Well that's too bad, because I'm not going anywhere."
For a reason he couldn't explain, he felt his eyes start to water.
"Hey, tears are my turf, remember?" She continued, smiling as she brushed the wetness from his eyes.
He couldn't contain the laugh that escaped him.
"Yeah, I remember…It's just been a while since I've felt like this." He replied, running a hand through her hair.
"Felt like what?"
"Happy."
Reviews make me happy and a happy me means a happy you because it feeds my muse! :3