Chapter 11

Renesmee didn't stay with Leah after storming into her tent with no explanation. She proved to be a rather crude and less than receptive host even after Renesmee explained what happened. Leah's tolerance of Renesmee would only go so far after all. After Renesmee explained what happened to Caevia, who'd insisted on speaking with her after the huff Renesmee had made and all the attention it had caused, she tried to convince Renesmee to stay with her for the time being, but Renesmee refused. She wouldn't impose herself on a newly married couple. Renesmee spent the night with Leah and Seth, only leaving in the morning to go to Sokajili's tent. Jacob attempted to speak with Renesmee as she made her way to his uncle's tent, but she refused to speak with him. During her day's training, she requested Sokajili allow her to stay with him for the time being. Her Quileute still wasn't perfect, but she was comfortable enough with the language thus far to stay with Sokajili.

"Well," Sokajili said, but he was hesitant. Even having the situation explained to him, he would be lying if he said he didn't think Renesmee was overreacting just a little. "I suppose you could stay here. You'll have to use the medicine bed."

"That is fine," Renesmee had answered.

By now, the whole tribe knew what had happened. No one intervened of course, but there were certainly those with opinions on the matter. Some argued that Renesmee was being far too harsh. Being angry for a day, even two days, was acceptable given Jacob's brashness, but it had not been with malice that he'd kissed her so suddenly. He'd simply allowed his heart to rule his head. Many, including William and Sara, felt that Renesmee was punishing Jacob too harshly. Others found the matter amusing, albeit at Jacob's expense. No one in their right mind would attempt to kiss a vampire, even a half one. Quite frankly, Jacob was lucky all she did was slap him.

Needless to say, Jacob's little stunt brought his personal reading lessons to a screeching halt. Initially, the reading lesson had been the last thing on his mind. He was far more concerned with obtaining Renesmee's trust and forgiveness which was proving exceedingly difficult. After the third day of Renesmee refusing to speak to Jacob, Caevia pulled him aside and decided it wouldn't be right to at least help Jacob out a little.

"Just so we're clear," Caevia started once she had Jacob close to the wood's edge so they could speak privately, "I'm not at all condoning what you did."

"I'm not concerned with what you're condoning," Jacob said defiantly.

"Do you even know what condoning means?"

"To allow?" Jacob guessed, earning Caevia's heavy sigh.

"Close enough," she said.

"If I'm wrong, then tell me what it actually means."

"It means to forgive an otherwise unacceptable behavior. Like I said, you were close."

"Then my earlier statement still stands."

"Well aren't we just getting fancy shmancy with our English?" Caevia said sarcastically.

"I'm just getting good at it."

"Do you want me to help you or not?" Caevia snapped and this time, Jacob gave her his undivided attention. "I doubt it's a shock to you that Renesmee's angry with you," Caevia started.

"I never would've guessed," Jacob said.

"Now's not the time to practice your sarcasm Jacob." Jacob stayed silent and Caevia eventually continued. "What I'm trying to say is it'll take a lot more than just an 'I'm sorry' to get back on her good side."

"And how do I do that?"

"From what she told me, this all happened while she was showing you how to read and write. If that spot where she was teaching you is still there, maybe you should practice on your own."

"I don't remember enough to practice by myself. All I remember is the damn song."

"If what she wrote out is still there, that's all you'll need for now. I'll even help you here and there but she'll be more impressed if you do it yourself."

"I can't exactly tell her about it if she won't speak to me," Jacob mumbled. "How do I get her to speak to me again?"

"You just leave that up to me. I'll try to butter her up for her."

"Is that another figure of speech?"

"Yes it is and good job for noticing. It means I'll make her more accepting of your apology, but like I said, it'll take more than 'I'm sorry' to win her back. So you get to work on that book learning."

"Book learning? Isn't that grammatically wrong?"

"Not really, at least I don't think it is, but again, good job for questioning it at least. Now find that spot she was teaching you at and get to work. I'll worry about getting Renesmee to talk to you."

"Thanks, Caevia. I really appreciate this."

"You'd better," she said before walking back to the fire pit where she'd been working before she pulled Jacob aside. Jacob did as Caevia told him to and found the spot where Renesmee had written down the alphabet and numbers 1-10. It was all still there. Now he just needed to remember everything and go from there.

Later that night, as Caevia promised she would, she pulled Renesmee aside to talk. It was during dinner when everyone was outside sitting together eating their food. Jacob wasn't there Renesmee noticed, but she tried her best not to think too much about it. While most wouldn't understand them anyway, Caevia still requested that Renesmee come with her to hers and Embry's tent. Embry stayed behind per Caevia's request. When the two were alone, they sat next to each other and Caevia finished her potato cake before starting her argument.

"So how're you feeling?"

"Who cares how I'm feeling? How're you feeling? You're the one that's pregnant." Caevia smiled and waved her hand dismissively.

"I'm alright, barely any morning sickness. I have to say, this is definitely one of my better pregnancies."

"I would think that goes without saying," Renesmee smiled.

"I mean as far as how I feel early on. It could be the stress though. Before when I got pregnant, I was so paranoid and desperate to keep it secret I would worry myself t a frazzle. All for nothing to boot. Now, I don't have a care in the world. The whole tribe knows I'm pregnant, they know who the father is, and I don't have to worry about Sokajili forcing my baby from me. I'm so relaxed compared to before."

"I bet you are. That's how it should be. Stress like that is bad for mother and baby. As relaxed as you are, the baby's relaxed too."

"I'm showing a little," Caevia said.

"Really?" Caevia nodded and she pulled up her dress so Renesmee could see her belly. The bump was barely there, but she could see it. She touched the bump a moment. She didn't feel anything, but it was too soon for that anyway. "I'm so happy for you Caevia."

"There's a lot to be happy about." Renesmee removed her hand and Caevia let her dress back down. She chose then to bring up what she really wanted to talk about. "I wanted to talk to you on Jacob's behalf."

"Just when we were having such a lovely conversation," Renesmee sighed heavily and rubbed her face. "I don't want to talk about him right now. And I certainly don't want you trying to apologize for him."

"Can you really blame me? When any one of these wolves are upset, everyone in the pack knows and feels it. So Embry's had to deal with it for the past couple of days and I promised I'd see what I could do about it."

"So I should accept Jacob's apology so your husband will be happy?"

"To put it briefly, yes." Renesmee started laughing and Caevia joined.

"Sorry, Caevia, but making your husband happy isn't my line of business."

"That's really only part of it," Caevia said after she took another moment to laugh a little. "I kind of feel sorry for the guy too."

"How considerate of you, Caevia, but I'm still not letting him off. He had no right to do that to me. Even if he is sorry, I won't let him get away with ravaging me like a piece of meat."

"I will come to his defense on that front," Caevia started. "He thinks far more highly of you than that. From what Embry tells me, he never meant to upset you."

"I'm sure."

Caevia sighed, "He really pissed you off something awful didn't he?"

"He surprised me," Renesmee said.

"So wait, you're not mad at him?"

"No, I'm mad. I'm just not as mad as I'm probably putting forward. At the moment, I'd just rather be mad at him than sit down and talk with him about this." Caevia stared at Renesmee a moment, trying to discern for herself what she was saying.

"I don't know if this question is allowed but, did you enjoy it while it lasted?"

"You're right, that question's not allowed," Renesmee said.

"I'm just trying to understand. You just said to me that you're not as mad as your making out to be. You must understand that would lead anyone to believe that, perhaps for just a moment, you enjoyed the kiss. Or is there something you're not telling me?"

"I would think it's rather obvious why I'm reacting the way I am, even if I might not actually feel that way."

"Renesmee," Caevia took a deep breath, "You can't keep holding on to your married woman shtick. You know full well you don't love Peter."

"That's not the point," Renesmee continued stubbornly.

"What is the point then? That you made a vow? What's the point of sticking to that vow when you were never truly committed to that vow to begin with?"

"I was committed!" Renesmee snapped, but Caevia held her ground.

"You married Peter because you wanted out of your parents' house and wanted to be a big girl."

"That's not entirely-"

"Yes it is," Caevia interrupted Renesmee's weak argument. "You wanted your independence, so you jumped the gun and got married to someone that knew nothing about you or your family. That's the worst reason in the world someone could get married. You married Peter for the wrong reasons and you know it. So there's no point in clinging to that as an excuse because you don't want to admit that maybe you really like Jacob. Maybe even love him."

"It doesn't matter, Caevia."

"What doesn't matter? Your marriage to Peter or your feelings for Jacob? It better be the previous."

"You know what, Caevia, if I wanted to be lectured like a child, I would've stayed home. I shouldn't have to take that least of all from you." The moment she said that, she wished she could take it back. The mean look Caevia gave her only made it worse.

"Least of all from me? And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, never mind. Forget I said that."

"I can't believe this," Caevia said suddenly. "I thought you were better than that."

"What are you talking about? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. If there's anyone looking out for me, it's you. I shouldn't have said that."

"You won't let yourself admit you love Jacob because he's an Indian?"

"What?!" Renesmee yelled suddenly. "I never said that! Why would you think something so small of me?"

"Than what is it? You just said it's not Peter anymore, you're telling me it's not his race, so what is it? Why won't you just admit you have feelings for him?"

"This coming from you of all people," Renesmee said, frustrated. "When we got here, you wouldn't let Jacob near me. Now you're saying I should just fall into his arms like a weak minded child?"

"Renesmee!" Caevia yelled and it made her recoil. She hadn't yelled at her like that since she was a child. "All I'll say is this: what Embry and I have is something I wish everyone could have. You have that chance with Jacob. Yes, I haven't always thought highly of the man and for good reason, but my perception has changed drastically since then. Jacob was wrong. I won't refute that and neither should you. But I also don't think you should continue to punish the man when he's gone to such efforts to make you happy."

"He's going through all that to make me love him," Renesmee said. "He's just trying to impress me."

"Would he be going through all that trouble if he didn't want to make you happy?" Renesmee didn't answer and Caevia sighed heavily. "I tried. No one can say I didn't try." Renesmee still didn't answer. She was looking at the little wooden toys in a large basket in the corner. Caevia noticed and raised an eyebrow. "You know," she started, "That whole time, he stayed by your side, day in and day out. He didn't even go on patrol."

"So I heard," Renesmee said weakly.

"Quil told me the story. Jacob had found you cold on the ground and ran right back to the village so he could get you to Sokajili. He forced the poor man out of bed in the middle of the night."

"So I heard," Renesmee said again.

"He was so worried about you, as was I. I'd suggested he keep his hands busy so he wouldn't drive himself mad with worry. That's why he was working on all those wooden toys. I can't say I've ever seen anyone carve wood that fast." Renesmee didn't say anything this time. Caevia crawled over and checked the basket for what she was looking for. She eventually pulled out the figure of a woman and Caevia handed it to Renesmee. It was detailed and precise with a dress and face Renesmee recognized immediately. It was her. "That was the first one he made."

"It's nice," Renesmee said.

"He's very good at carving," Caevia said. "But more importantly, he was looking out for you. If that's not love, I don't know what is." Caevia went to the door and untied the leather. "I've said my piece. Let's go back to the bonfire. Being pregnant makes me ravenous." Without a word, Renesmee came out with Caevia and went back to the fire with the others. Jacob still wasn't there.

In the meantime, much further south, Sgt. Lovejoy and his men were finally making their way north away from Aberdeen. The investigation took far longer than it ever should have. Sgt. Lovejoy already suspected that the townspeople were fond of Mr. Locksley and his pet Indian, but he had not expected the negative backlash that being blacklisted from the bakery would bring. The people might not think as highly of their Indians as Mr. Locksley, but they thought very, very highly of Mr. Locksley and were mortified when news went around how much the soldier and his men had infuriated the beloved town figure. They weren't run out of town, but they may as well have been given the silent treatment they received. The only people that spoke with them was the bartender and the cops. The bartender because they were using his facility and he was forced to speak with them and the cop because he was stalking them trying to make sure they didn't cause any further trouble. There were two towns on the feet of Hoquiam surrounded by water, normally easy places to reach by ferry, but in their case it wasn't so easy. They'd been blacklisted from the ferry as well. It forced them to go all the way around the peninsula both ways to both small fishing towns only to come up just as short. Neither town had any relationship with any Indians. The town on the northern foot had no tribes near them and didn't recognize Renesmee's picture when it was presented to them. The town of the southern foot were the same. They had no relationship with the Indians. "They leave us alone, we leave them alone and everyone is happy," was what they were told. They also did not recognize Renesmee and knew nothing of the matter. Sgt. Lovejoy insisted they all spend the night in each town since he wanted to do a thorough search of each town. He was given free access and found nothing. The whole trip took them five days to complete and they returned to Hoquiam both times to see they were still not wanted. They ended up staying in Hoquiam for three weeks. It took a thorough search of the town before he believed that the good people of Hoquiam and their Indians had nothing to do with and no knowledge of Renesmee's whereabouts. Another four days wasted not finding Mrs. Wallis. They were currently making their way north again. The closest town would be Neilton and that alone would be a two day trek barring incident. As it was, they had no way of knowing if Neilton even had an Inn for them to stay at. An hour into the journey, Peter was staring at Renesmee's picture feeling hopeless.

"We're never going to find her are we?"

"Not with that attitude we won't," Mitchell blurted out.

"Don't be so harsh, Mitchell. Don't worry so much, Mr. Wallis. Dead or alive, we'll find her." Peter didn't say anything.

"I don't suppose there's a way we can make sure we don't get blacklisted in the next town we go to?" Harrison asked.

"No promises," Sgt. Lovejoy said. "You can never predict how sensitive a village is. According to this map, Neilton's pretty barren of Indians, so I don't foresee a problem."

"We're not staying in Neilton long anyway are we?" Mitchell asked.

"At least a few days to replenish our supplies," Sgt. Lovejoy answered. "We'll need it. From Neilton, the closest town is Forks. We'll be camping a lot of our way there. Forks is one of those backwater towns where very few people have really ever heard of it."

"Joy," Harrison said. He looked at Peter, who was still staring at Renesmee's picture. "Don't you worry, sir. If we say we'll find her, we'll find her." Peter didn't answer.

"Just leave him be," Sgt. Lovejoy said. "He's been sullen since we left. I think he just needs some time to think to himself."

"Alright," Harrison said with a shrug.

Back at the village, everyone had in general finished their dinner for the night and those that had not gone back to their tents for the night were engaged in idle chit chat. Caevia and Embry sat together with a few of his friends discussing general things, among them Caevia's pregnancy and how she was feeling. By the end of the night, Jacob still wasn't back and she assumed Jacob was out on patrol already. But it had seemed so early for him to be out. Quil and Embry weren't out yet. Going on a hunch, though not really sure why she was bothering, Renesmee left the group and began wandering into the woods towards the clearing where she was teaching him to read. When she happened upon the spot, there Jacob was, looking over the letters and trying to copy what she'd showed him to do, mumbling the alphabet song to himself over and over again. He was so engrossed that he didn't initially notice Renesmee was there, but when he did he seemed a little nervous.

"You're practicing?" Renesmee asked when he was looking at her.

"Yeah," Jacob answered. "Caevia suggested I continue practicing. She said it might make you less upset with me."

"I don't know why she'd tell you that," she mumbled more to herself. She knew exactly what Caevia had suggested: keep learning to read and it'll impress Renesmee. It had her very frustrated.

"I'm sorry about what happened. I swear I didn't mean to upset you or disrespect you, but I just got ahead of myself." Renesmee was, admittedly, impressed with Jacob's choice of words. He really was learning.

"That's what I was told."

"I understand why you're angry, but I don't understand why you're surprised."

"What?"

"I haven't exactly been secretive about how I feel for you. I've been clear about that from the beginning even before I could really talk to you. I would think what happened would be…is the word inevitable?"

"Inevitable?!" Now Renesmee was angry.

"Wait, what does inevitable mean?" Jacob asked, thinking maybe he'd misused the word. "That was the word Leah used."

"Inevitable means it's a certain occurrence," Renesmee offered, allowing Jacob the change to retract his statement.

"Okay, good. I thought that's what it meant."

"You have some nerve saying that to me," Renesmee steamed. "You force me from my home and bring me to a tribe that until recently despised me, and now you have the nerve to say kissing me against my will was inevitable?!"

"You showed me how unhappy you were in just those three days!" Jacob began, yelling and getting defensive. "You showed me how unhappy you were while you were with him. Now you're telling me I took you from your home?"

"I never showed you-"

"Yes you did! You showed me everything!" Jacob and Renesmee stared at each other as if trying to make the other back down. Silence ensued for a long stretch of time, but eventually Jacob began to approach her. She assumed he was trying to intimidate her. He still had a very intense look on his face. She kept firm as well, not letting on that the look he was giving her was making her nervous. Not because she thought he would hurt her, certainly not. It was the fact that she wasn't sure what he could be thinking. "I didn't take you from your home. You ran away from home looking for something more. Yes. I took you by force. I scared you and that was never my desire or my intent, but it was the only thing I could think to do. And in bringing you here, I gave you a better home. I gave you a life where, with time, you could become everything you wanted to be. Like Sokajili teaching you his craft. Would you have ever been given the opportunity for such a high honor were you back 'home'? Of course not, because you're a woman. We are not so close minded here."

"You didn't kidnap me to give me a better life. You kidnapped me so you could have a wife."

"Would you have ever given me a second glance had I not taken you? I couldn't even speak to you."

"I can't say," Renesmee answered meekly and honestly.

"I'll apologize for kissing you so suddenly. I'll apologize for scaring you and taking you by force. But I won't say I'm sorry for taking you from a man that didn't make you happy and would never make you happy. I won't apologize for giving you more than what he could've ever offered you." Jacob closed most of the distance between them and was standing right before her. "I won't apologize for imprinting on you. And I certainly won't apologize for loving you." Renesmee stared at him a moment. His black eyes were deep and moving. His expression had softened and he was giving her a look that, she couldn't help but notice, he'd only ever given to her. His strong features, his dark short hair, his sheer stubbornness and determination to impress her and please her, but more importantly to better himself. She held her head down, unable to look at him anymore without blushing, but Jacob noticed.

"You're so bullheaded."

"That means stubborn, right?"

"Yes," Renesmee nodded.

"Then you're bullheaded too." Renesmee shot a look at him and saw his cocky smile. She wanted to be angry, but she just couldn't be anymore.

"So I've been told."

"Would you be alright with continuing to teach me how to read? I've sung that damn Alphabet so many times, I'm about ready to slam my head against a tree." Renesmee laughed and it had Jacob feeling very proud of himself.

"Let's continue where we left off then."

Jacob smiled wider and went right to the spot where the alphabet was written in the ground. Renesmee went to his side and they continued with spelling lessons. Jacob kept her with him in the woods for hours, making a fire for them when it was too dark. It was also getting very cold. By the time Renesmee was nearly falling asleep, it began snowing.

"Are you going to stay with me again?"

"Yeah," Renesmee mumbled. Jacob put out the fire before lifting Renesmee into his arms to take her back to the village. She didn't fight him. Whether it was because she was too tired or because she really didn't mind, Jacob didn't concern himself with it. By the time they got back, everyone was in their tents asleep for the night. In Jacob's tent, he placed Renesmee on the small blanket on the ground. She seemed asleep already. Jacob took a moment to cover the whole atop his tent so the snow and cold wouldn't get it. He looked at Renesmee and noticed she was shivering a little even under the heavy blanket he'd pulled over her. He kneeled down to her level and gently rubbed her cheek. She flinched a little from the touch and looked at him. "What?"

"You're shivering."

"Oh," Renesmee rested her head back to the ground. "It's cold in here."

"I don't have any more blankets."

"It's alright," Renesmee said. Without a word, Jacob was bold yet again and laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her without warning. Renesmee didn't react the way Jacob feared she would. She didn't yell at him or hit him. Instead, she turned around and buried her face in his chest to warm her nose.

"Are you warmer?" Renesmee nodded and fell right back to sleep. Until Jacob fell asleep himself, he held Renesmee close and smelled her hair. They'd made up, that much he could say at least. Perhaps speaking frankly with her was all that was ever needed. Either way, Jacob decided that from this point, he wouldn't try to force anything or allow himself to jump her like he had. If Renesmee was ever going to love him as much as he loved her, it would be on her terms and her terms alone. He'd be patient. But just this once….Jacob listened to Renesmee's breathing, trying to decide if she were really sound asleep. When he was sure she was, Jacob hugged her just a little tighter and kissed her forehead. He heard her moan in her sleep and he smiled, stealing just one more kiss from her cheek. "I love you," Jacob whispered in her ear. Renesmee didn't respond in her sleep, she just continued to cuddle into his chest to keep warm.