A Step in the Right Direction

Fin pulled up to a red light and pressed down on the brakes. There was a nervous energy surging through the vehicle as the occupants were distracted by their own thoughts. Alex sat in the back seat, her hand absently gripping Matthew's. The light changed and Fin pressed the gas to floor, sending the car rushing forward. Within minutes they pulled up to the Damaris' apartment building.

"We gonna need a warrant for this?" Fin asked as Matthew led them upstairs and through the front door, blocked off by crime scene tape. Olivia shrugged in uncertainty as Matthew headed straight for Jacob's office.

Alex didn't follow. Instead she stood in the middle of the living room and took every inch of the place in. This was where her son had grown up. It was unsettling to think that he had known these walls since he was four. Before she knew it, a tear slipped down her cheek. She caught it with her fingertip and moved in the opposite direction as her son and the detectives. She ended in Matthew's bedroom. Back in the office Matthew was searching frantically through the contents of the middle drawer of the desk.

"What are you looking for, Matthew?" Liv asked. She had searched that drawer herself and had found nothing.

"I have to find it," he muttered more to himself than the detective. He pulled the drawer with such force that he stumbled backwards into the office chair behind him. His hand searched the bottom of the drawer until he felt the irregularity. Olivia bent down to his eye level and placed a hand on his frantic fingers.

"Just relax," she murmured. She gave him a kind smile as he fiddled with the bottom of the drawer. He finally managed to pull it free and produced a key covered in tape.

"Well that's original," Fin snickered as Olivia pulled the remains of the tape from the slender object.

"What does the key go to?" Fin asked but Olivia didn't answer. She turned to the locked drawer on the right side of the desk. She tugged slightly after she had heard the satisfying click of the lock releasing. She finally managed to get the drawer to unstuck. Instead of pulling it partway open, she yanked it firmly from the protective surround of the desk. She stood, drawer in her arms, looking triumphant.

"We'd better put this drawer back in," Fin muttered more to himself than the other two and took it upon himself to reinsert the center drawer back into the desk.

Olivia sat down on the small leather couch that rested against the east wall. She set the drawer down beside her and pulled out the contents, sealed in a thick black binder. Matthew watched her from a few paces away, a look of anxiety and fear in his intense blue stare.

"What is it?" Fin questioned, moving towards the other detective. Olivia slowly pulled the binder from the drawer and unzipped it. The binder fell open and the breath caught in Olivia's chest. Staring back at her was a photograph of a distraught Alexandra Cabot. She quickly flipped through to find various newspaper clippings, all about Alex. She threw the collection of clippings and raced from the room.

"Alex," she called out.

"In here," Alex replied. Olivia walked into Matthew's room to find the ADA examining the few soccer trophies on a shelf above the bed. Olivia took a split second to take in the blue motif of the room before she spoke.

"You need to come see this," she stated cryptically.

"Give me a minute," Alex murmured absently as she looked at the small desk in the corner. She had to smile at how organized it was.

"You need to see this now," Olivia pressed, her tone conveying the urgency of the situation. Alex sighed and followed the detective back into the office. Fin had picked up the binder and leafing through the various pages.

"What do I need to see?" Alex questioned. Fin looked up and reluctantly relinquished the black binder. She laid her eyes on one of the many newspaper clippings displaying her picture and did something none of them had expected. Her knees buckled beneath her and she fainted. Fin managed to catch her in time and laid her on the small couch. Olivia took the binder from her hands and she turned to face Matthew. He looked worried.

"Is she ok?" he asked, his voice very small.

"She's going to be fine. But I need you to go get me a cold washcloth and glass of water," Olivia answered. He moved almost robotically towards the kitchen. The eleven-year-old returned a few minutes later with the requested glass and cloth. Olivia knelt down by Alex and pressed the cloth to the ADA's head. Alex slowly began to come to. She started to sit up but she was stayed by Olivia.

"Just lay down for a few minutes," she ordered. Alex nodded and gratefully accepted the glass of water.

"What the hell was that?" Fin asked after Alex was able to sit up.

"How should I know," she shot back at him. How could be blaming her?

"I've just never seen you freak out like that," Fin muttered.

"I have," Olivia murmured and received a halfhearted swat on the arm from the ADA.

"Are you ok?" Matthew asked, scooting over next to Alex. She gave him a forced smile and wrapped an arm around his small shoulders.

"I'm fine," she promised, giving his shoulders a squeeze. Olivia waited a few more moments to show Alex the binder again. At least if she passed out again, it wouldn't so far a fall.

"What the hell was he doing with all of these?" Alex murmured to herself. On the other side of the room, Fin was on the phone, arguing with Munch by the sound of the conversation.

"We have evidence. We need a warrant to cover our asses " Fin was saying.

"Yeah I know its supposed to be other way around moron," he snapped. Growing irritated, Olivia grabbed the phone from the other cop.

"Munch, just get the warrant," she demanded and hung up.

"I think he got the point guys," Alex mused as she reached the end of the binder. In all the binder documented the last seven years of her life. It disturbed her greatly that the Damaris' had kept record of her life. Had they known that they had taken her son? Thousands of questions raced through her head. Matthew could tell she was on edge and scooted a few inches away from her.

"What's wrong?" Alex addressed her son, turning to face him.

"Are you mad at me?' he asked, averting his gaze.

"Of course not. Why would I be mad?" she pressed.

"I found that when I ran away," he admitted.

"You didn't know what it was, sweetheart," Olivia interjected.

"But I broke the rules. You didn't do what you are supposed to," he continued.

"That's ok. You let us worry about that. It's our job. You did great, Matthew. You helped us out a lot," Olivia comforted him. Matthew was about to speak again when fin interrupted their conversation.

"Captain wants us back at the station," Fin announced. Silently the group of four left the apartment and climbed into the car.

"Mom," Matthew murmured as Fin pulled into city traffic.

"Yeah?" Alex responded, gripping the binder tightly in her hand.

"There's something else I need to tell you," he explained.

"Can it wait until we get back to the police station?" Olivia asked from the front seat. Matthew nodded but Olivia didn't catch the movement in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah it can," Alex interpreted, smiling once again that despite the seven year separation, she could still speak for her son.

They pulled into the station garage twenty minutes later, having hit heavy traffic. They moved around the other cars in the garage. Matthew immediately clasped his hand around Alex's free one and she gave it a squeeze. Olivia held the door to the station open and let her colleague pass. Just as they entered the squad room, Cragen signaled for all of them into his office.