Sorry for the wait. I had some trouble finding time to write and when I did it all seemed to come together slowly. This is the New Year's Eve chapter. It starts a little slow, but overall I think it works. Now I warn you, the next chapter will probably take a while for me to write. It's just a guess because I haven't started writing it yet, but I have the feeling it'll take a few days like this one did.
Anyways, thanks for sticking with me. I appreciate it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. It helps a lot!
PART 11
"Do you think we should get going?" Angel suggested and Buffy gave a short nod as she grabbed her suitcase off the bed. "I can carry that for you," he offered but Buffy shook her head.
"I got it," she assured him and he bit back a sigh as he opened the door and held it for her. Things had been awkward between them all morning and he hated it. He knew he loved her, but she was his best friend too and he needed to be able to talk to her.
He followed her down the hall to the elevators in silence, and he briefly wished he hadn't stopped them last night. If things were awkward between them anyways they might as well have-NO. He did the right thing, he was convinced of that. That wasn't how he wanted it to happen for them.
Buffy was desperate to break the silence between them, but didn't know how. When she'd woken up that morning and felt his body against hers she'd purposely stayed still, reveling in the feeling of having him so close, until he woke up. In the crowded elevator they were so close to him she could smell him, and she bit down hard on her bottom lip. She just wanted to wrap herself around him, have his hands on her body, and feel his lips on hers again.
It wasn't until they'd checked out of the hotel and gotten on the highway that Buffy finally spoke. "I going to call my mom and wish her a happy new year," she said pulling out her phone. Angel gave a short nod, his hands tightening on the steering wheel at the sound of her voice.
The phone rang four times, and Buffy wondered what was taking her mother so long to answer. Last Buffy had heard her mom didn't have any plans so she knew she was home. Finally, someone picked up, but the voice on the other end was not that of her mother.
"Summers' residence," a man's voice answered and Buffy was shocked silent briefly.
"Um, this is Buffy," she said and Angel glanced at her curiously, wondering why she had to identify herself when she'd called her mother's home.
"Oh yes, Buffy," the man replied knowingly. "This is uh, well, it's Giles," he said and Buffy's eyes widened slightly as she realized that her old high school librarian was in her mother's house.
"Giles?" Buffy exclaimed and she heard him clear his throat uncomfortably.
"Yes, well, we were waiting for a call from Jenny and her husband. They're having a party...would you like to speak to your mother?" he asked and Buffy rested her head against the car window.
"Yes," she answered and she could hear him call for Joyce before handing her the phone.
"Hi Buffy," her mom greeted and Buffy scoffed.
"MOM!" she yelled and Joyce sighed. "Are you…dating Giles?" she asked sounding scandalized by the mere thought.
"Well, we have been spending some time together, yes," she admitted and Buffy let out a quiet whimper.
"Ew," she whispered and Angel held back a chuckle at Buffy's reaction. "Okay, so I just wanted to wish you Happy New Year. Um, you and Giles have fun but please don't tell me any details about that fun. Bye," she spoke quickly and hung up before her mother could reply. "That's so gross," she shivered dropping her phone on the seat next to her. Angel was unable to hold back a laugh at her and she leaned over and slapped his shoulder playfully. "Stop it, it's not funny!" she squealed but he only laughed harder as he tried to avoid her slapping hands.
"Yes it is," he disagreed but she shook her head as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"My high school librarian is dating my mother," she reminded him and he nodded as she rested her head on the back of the seat. "Oh my God, every time I think about Giles I just think about old books and tweed!" she moaned and Angel forced himself not to laugh.
"Don't you want your mother to be happy?" he asked and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Of course I do. But I can be a little grossed out about it too," she shot back and he smiled. She was so cute.
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A couple hours later they had the radio on and Angel listened as he tried to continue conversation with Buffy, but things were still too awkward and forced between them. She was clearly uncomfortable about what had happened last night, and he hated himself for letting it get as far as it did. Vaguely he heard the radio mention hockey, and he realized they were talking about the Kings' upcoming games.
"Buffy, that's the one you got me tickets for!" he exclaimed excitedly as the DJ talked about one of the best matchups of the season.
"It's a good game?" Buffy checked and he nodded happily, turning off the radio as the station went to commercial.
"Yeah it's a good game, Buffy," he chuckled at the pleased look on her face. "It's an awesome game."
"Good. I don't really know much about hockey," she admitted and he smiled having already known that. "I dated a hockey player once, but nothing stuck," she shrugged and he felt a stab of jealousy. Who was this hockey player she dated?
"You dated a hockey player?" he asked trying to sound nonchalant and it seemed he succeeded when she nodded.
"Yeah. We were like fifteen and for the three weeks we were together all he wanted to do was explain hockey. But he was a terrible explainer person," she told him and he relaxed at the news that it wasn't another serious relationship. "Like, you know that thing where the puck goes all the way down the ice and then the whistle blows if the wrong team touches it or something?" she asked and he laughed lightly.
"Icing?" he clarified and she snapped her fingers with a nod.
"Yes. That. He could not explain that. I had to Google it," she said and he shook his head.
"I promise I'll explain it better," he assured her, not even realizing what he'd said until it was out of his mouth.
"Angel I didn't get you those tickets so you had to take me," she told him softly and he glanced at her. Of course she wouldn't want to go.
"No, I know," he rushed to say as he shook his head. "I just meant…if I did explain it. I would do it better," he covered, inwardly wincing at how lame that sounded.
"I figured you'd want to take Doyle or something," she said and he sighed feeling guilty for even thinking of taking someone else. She'd bought him the tickets…she should go with him. He wanted to take her.
"Buffy, I…" he trailed off, and she looked at him questioningly. "Do you want me to pay you for the tickets?" he asked and she averted her eyes immediately. "And the sketch book? I mean, I will. It's not a problem. I understand," he babbled but Buffy shook her head immediately.
"No Angel," she told him. "Those were gifts. Fake engagement or not, you don't have to pay me for your own gifts," she replied and he nodded worried he'd offended her somehow. She sighed inwardly as she wondered if he expected her to pay him for the things he'd given her. She wasn't sure she would be able to afford everything, but she'd find a way. "I-I can pay you for my-"
"No Buffy," he cut her off shaking his head emphatically. "That wasn't what I meant when I offered. I wanted to buy you those things," he told her honestly and she nodded. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even brought it up," he said and she let it drop, relieved that she didn't have to come up with enough money to pay for earrings and slippers, let alone a diamond necklace. That had to have cost hundreds at least…How the hell could he afford that?
"Can I ask you something, Angel?" she spoke hesitantly and Angel nodded at her curiously. "It's none of my business, and you don't have to answer," she told him but he knew he'd tell her his life story if she asked. "But, as an artist, how did you afford the things you gave me?" she wanted to know and he was silent for a long time and she was regretting asking this question. It was totally inappropriate and she had no idea what she'd been thinking to-
"When my dad died he left Kathy and I a lot of money," he revealed and he glanced quickly at Buffy to find her listening attentively. "Most of it went to mom, but we were a well-off family and he had trusts set up for the two of us. Then Kathy was very practical. She had a will drawn up for herself a few months after dad died," he explained quietly. "I ended up with all of Kathy's money too."
"But your mom-"
"Kathy never dreamed she'd die before mom," he pointed out and Buffy nodded understanding Kathy's thought process. "I tried to give it to my mom, but she didn't want to have much to do with me," he shrugged and Buffy sighed.
"Well it sounds like things are better with your mom now," she said and Angel smiled slightly.
"Yeah," he agreed and he reached over grabbing Buffy's hand. "Thanks to you," he reminded her and he saw a slightly blush consume her cheeks. Squeezing her hand he felt things between them starting to get tense again. Trying to lighten the mood he added, "I just hope it sticks after her pain killers wear off."
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Later Buffy had unpacked her suitcase and was all ready for the party. Her and her friends had been celebrating New Years' at the Bronze since high school, so now it was tradition. The Dingoes weren't playing tonight so Willow was excited to actually have Oz as a date for the night. It would be Willow and Oz, Xander and Anya, and Buffy and Angel. Everybody was paired off for the midnight kiss. Another tradition they'd started in high school.
Buffy's lips tingled as she thought about the midnight kiss. No matter what happened tomorrow, she'd have one more kiss from him tonight and she was determined to make it count. The knock on the door told her he was here, and she walked down the stairs briefly wondering where Willow had been spending the past few days. It didn't look like she'd been home since Buffy had left.
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When she opened the door Angel felt his breath catch in his throat. It was becoming all too familiar to him, this stunned silence whenever he saw her. She was dressed in a gold dress that sparkled just enough…
"Hi," she spoke quietly as she took in the sight of him in his black pants and black shirt. Did he ever wear colors? It didn't matter. He looked so good in black… "Come in," she said quickly forcing her thoughts away from how good he looked.
"You look amazing," he told her, his voice low as he stared at her. She smiled slightly as a light blush consumed her cheeks and she was positive he could hear her heart beating. "You're going to be the most beautiful girl at that party," he said truthfully and she could feel his eyes traveling up and down her body.
"Well, I'm not sure the heels will make it through the night," she admitted with a raised brow and his eyes dropped to her shoes. They were gold, but that wasn't what caught his eye. He was distracted by the five inch heel on them…damn those were fuck me heels. Swallowing thickly, he looked back to her face to see her shrug. "They're sort of uncomfortable, but they're all I have that go with this dress."
"Trust me, they're worth it," he husked out as he thought of how it would feel for her to just wrap her legs around him. Her dress wasn't long. He could just shove it up and-
"Thank you," she smiled and he nodded, unconsciously unbuttoning another button on his shirt as he turned towards the door. It was getting really hot in there. "We should go," she told him and he nodded again as she headed towards the door. His hand fell to the small of her back and he chuckled slightly. "What?" she asked and he smirked.
"You're a lot taller than usual," he teased and when she glared at him playfully he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.
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As they walked into the Bronze Buffy quickly spotted her group of friends. Willow, Xander, and Anya were all decked out in their New Years' hats and Oz had clearly refused to wear his. Buffy led Angel to her friends and Xander stood to greet them.
"Hey Buff, happy New Year!" he exclaimed excitedly as he hugged her tightly. Pulling back afterwards, Buffy turned towards Angel.
"Xander, this is Angel," Buffy introduced and the two shook hands before Anya came back with her and Xander's drinks.
"Hi Angel," she smiled handing one glass to Xander. "You were right. Xander enjoyed the red lingerie you picked out," she told him and Angel felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment at the memory.
"Okay!" Xander exclaimed as he wrapped his free arm around Anya's shoulders. "That's enough of that. We'll be over there," he pointed aimlessly leading his girlfriend away from Buffy and Angel.
"Buffy!" Willow called out from a nearby table and she held up a fuzzy headband with Happy New Year on it. She held it out and Buffy took it immediately putting it on as she sat in a chair across from Willow. "I got one for Angel too just to be nice even though I figured he wasn't one for the fuzzy headbands," she explained and Angel grimaced as he slid into the chair next to Buffy. "That's what I thought," she shrugged as she set it back on the table. "Oz wouldn't wear his either."
"Well, that's Oz," Buffy agreed and he gave her a slight smile. "How's the party, Oz?" she asked knowing her and Angel had been rather late.
"Strangely affecting. I danced when they played 'Get the Party Started,'" he admitted glancing towards the dance floor. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he glanced at Willow who grinned at the memory.
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Later when Angel and Oz had both gone to get drinks Willow grabbed Buffy's arm and quickly pulled her aside.
"What's going on with Angel?" she asked taking a sip through her straw.
"What do you mean? After tonight-"
"No! Stop that," Willow insisted as she literally stamped her foot in frustration. "I see the way you two act around each other. There's something there," she told Buffy who only let out a sigh in return. "Don't tell me you never thought about what it would be like if you two were really together."
"Of course I've thought about it," Buffy admitted as she glanced down at her feet. "Too much," she added and Willow hid a smile. "But we're not really together," she stated simply as she crossed her arms across her chest. "And after tonight I doubt we'll ever see each other again."
"But what if he feels the same way?" Willow countered and Buffy shook her head defiantly.
"He doesn't," she replied but Willow could hear the disappointment in her friend's voice.
"I think he might," Willow disagreed but when Buffy refused to meet her eyes Willow knew there was more to the story. "What happened?" she wanted to know and after a slight hesitation Buffy began her story.
"Last night in the hotel, he kissed me," she told her and at Willow's excited look Buffy continued quickly. "But after things started to get…" she trailed off and Willow nodded in understanding. "He stopped us and said we shouldn't do that," she explained and Willow sighed.
"Maybe he just wanted it to happen in a more romantic way," she offered hopefully but Buffy shook her head. She loved that Willow was a hopeless romantic, but it had always clouded her friend's judgment. First Willow had encouraged her relationship with Spike and then with Riley. That was just what Willow did.
"He was upset about his mom and I was there. That's it," Buffy said and by the tone of her voice Willow knew this particular conversation was over.
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"Hi Angel," Willow greeted cheerfully while Buffy was in the bathroom.
"Hi," he responded and she couldn't help but notice the faraway look in his eyes.
"Are you going to see Buffy after tonight?" she questioned and his eyes snapped to hers wondering what she was getting at. Had they been talking about him?
"We're not supposed to," he finally said and Willow stared at him for a few moments.
"Don't you think that maybe, I don't know," Willow began hoping he would jump in here and give her some clue as to how he was feeling. "You two would get together as friends. For coffee?" she suggested and he shrugged silently.
"The plan was to see each other until tonight," he reminded her and Willow nodded.
"Maybe you should talk to her about changing that plan," she hinted before standing up and walking away to leave Angel with his thoughts. Yeah, he decided. They'd been talking about him.
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"It's only 11:30 and my feet are killing me," Buffy whined as she leaned heavily against Angel.
"Come here," he murmured half leading and half carrying her to the couch. He sank down on it and she immediately sat next to him slipping her feet out of her shoes. "We can just stay here until midnight," he offered but she shook her head.
"In a little bit we'll have to go get a spot on the dance floor. At midnight they drop confetti and it's like a big glitter explosion," she grinned and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her body against his. He still had thirty minutes left of being with her, and he was going to enjoy it.
"Well we don't want to miss the glitter explosion," he chuckled as he glanced down at her. He felt as if his heart stopped when he was met with her smiling face. This was the best New Year's he'd had in as long as he could remember. He usually spent the night at some party getting drunk, but tonight was different. He'd barely had anything to drink because he wanted to make sure he could remember every detail of this night. If it was the last hours he spent with Buffy, he wanted them to be perfect. He was so in love with her…
After tonight he could walk away from her. He could take the fantastic memories, leave with his pride intact, and not risk her rejecting him. But in that same second he dismissed it. For the rest of his life he'd compare every woman he met to her and he knew, he just knew, nobody would come close. He couldn't just let her go and walk away. He would regret it every second of every day. She was it for him. He was sure of that.
"You know, when I came up with this whole fake fiancé thing," she started and he listened intently as she spoke softly in the loud club. "I never thought I'd meet someone like you."
"I never thought that Darla leaving me would be the best thing to happen to me," he responded and when their eyes met he ached to kiss her, but he refrained knowing that if she didn't take it well he'd be ruining the last few minutes they had together.
"Why was that the best thing that happened?" she asked confused and he smiled slightly.
"Because I met you and I realized how good things could be," he replied and she blushed furiously at his words. She shook her head, and fixed her New Year's headband to cover her embarrassment.
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"Is this good?" Angel asked as she glanced around the crowded dance floor. There were less than two minutes until midnight, and everyone was rushing to find their spot on the floor.
"It's perfect," she smiled excitedly and the entire crowd stared up at the screen showing the countdown. "I love this holiday," she nearly squealed and Angel let his hand rest around her waist while they waited. "Are you having fun?" Buffy asked and when he glanced down at her face he shared her smile.
"It's the best New Year's Eve I've ever had," he told her truthfully and she grinned as the music suddenly turned off and the crowd began counting down. Fifteen more seconds.
"Me too," she replied softly. "A rough year," she whispered as he stepped closer to her to hear her better. "But tonight has been amazing," she said and they distantly heard the countdown hit ten. Neither of them joined in the countdown instead finding themselves far too absorbed in each other. He was desperate to kiss her, and he felt as if the seconds were crawling by. Just five more…
Her breathing increased as she stepped into him. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and he wrapped his around her waist.
Three seconds…
Their eyes were locked on each other, the tension between them undeniable. Buffy felt her heart rate accelerate to an unbearable level when the crowd yelled one second.
At the same time they heard the cheers of "Happy New Year!" Angel's lips were on hers. He pulled her body flush against his and he felt her dig her fingernails into his shoulders even through his shirt. Their tongues met almost immediately, and her body nearly melted into his. Confetti fell around them and on them, but it barely registered in either of their minds. The heat from the kiss sent shivers down Buffy's spine as his tongue caressed hers. One of his hands came up to tangle in her hair, knocking her headband to the ground, but neither of them broke the kiss. Instead Buffy deepened it, flicking her tongue against the roof of his mouth. He gasped lightly before pulling away just slightly to nip on her bottom lip.
"Happy New Year," he whispered and she gave him a smile as their eyes met briefly before she reached up to kiss him again. She captured his top lip in hers, letting out a low moan when his tongue impatiently sought out hers. One of her hands snuck under the collar of his shirt, massaging the muscles of his neck and he felt like his entire body was on fire. "Buffy," he murmured into the kiss knowing they couldn't keep doing this here.
"Mmm," she replied and he groaned before tearing his lips from hers.
"We need to talk about this," he whispered and he took in the sight of her covered in glitter, her lips swollen, and her eyes still glazed over. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She nodded hesitantly before he reached for one of her hands. Grabbing it from around his neck, he led her out of the club.
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They'd ridden to Buffy's house in silence, both too wrapped up in their own thoughts to hold up any conversation. Neither of them was sure what they were going to say once they got inside, and they were struggling to come to terms with their feelings during the short ride.
What was he supposed to say when he got there? 'Hey, I'm in love with you, so instead of never seeing each other again would you go to dinner with me?' He inwardly grimaced as he ran through thousands of ways this conversation could go. Some ended with her in a white dress, but most seemed to end with her laughing in his face. Although in a select few she took pity on him and slapped him hard across the face before kicking him out.
In the passenger seat Buffy was chewing nervously on her bottom lip. She'd fallen for him so hard, what was she supposed to do? After their kiss she'd decided to tell him how she felt. It was a risk and she was terrified, but she couldn't just let him go. She had to try.
After what seemed like both seconds and hours Angel parked his car in her driveway and they both walked into the house. He shut the door behind her and locked it knowing he would be there for a while. They had a lot to talk about. Buffy slipped her shoes off, but was too nervous to sit so instead they both stood in her living room staring at the floor, the windows…anywhere but at each other. Finally growing annoyed with the silence, Buffy spoke up.
"You said you wanted to talk," Buffy reminded him and he glanced up at her for the first time since they'd left the Bronze. "That usually requires one of us saying something."
"You're right," he nodded as he took a deep breath. Running a hand through his hair he opened his mouth, but found himself at a loss for words. Letting out a frustrated sigh he glanced down at the floor.
"Maybe this was a bad idea," Buffy said suddenly losing all of her courage. He was so intimidating. If he wanted to he could break her heart with one word and never look back. But knowing him he'd feel guilty and come check on her everyday afterwards. And that only made her love him more.
"No," he disagreed, his voice sounding much more confident than he felt. "Buffy, I don't want to keep pretending to be together," he said quietly and she felt as if he'd just ripped her heart out. When he saw the horrified look on her face he felt guilty. He'd clearly misread things, he realized. She didn't feel the same way. "I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I know that wasn't what you wanted to hear," he shook his head trying to steel himself against the onslaught of emotions he would feel when she rejected him.
"We never planned to keep pretending to see each other after tonight," she pointed out, her voice cold as she tried to hide how much he'd hurt her. She wouldn't cry, she told herself. Not until after he left. "I don't know why that required a conversation."
"No Buffy," he rushed to say suddenly understanding she'd gotten the wrong idea. "We can't keep doing this," he rephrased gesturing between them, but when she set her jaw in defiance he knew he'd done it again.
"We aren't," she replied and he let out an aggravated sigh. "Look, why don't you just go? It's what you want to do anyways so-"
"No it's not," he interrupted as he stepped closer to her. She took a small step back, knowing if he touched her she'd fall apart. "Buffy please," he begged seeing that she'd closed herself off. "You got the wrong idea," he told her as he reached for her arm.
"I got the wrong idea?" she exclaimed as she yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Really?" she retorted and he could see the anger in her eyes. "Because the idea I got was that we were using each other. And now we're done so there's no need to continue this," she spat out, purposely mimicking his gesture between the two of them and his eyes hardened.
"Buffy," he nearly growled as he grabbed her forearms to hold her still. "Is that really all you think this is?" he wanted to know, his voice softer as their eyes met. "Tell me," he insisted as he pulled her body closer to his until they were practically touching. "I know it started that way. But now, is that really all this was to you?" he asked and he saw the tears threatening to spill over. "Were you just using me?"
"No," she said quietly and he felt his heart soar with hope. He'd already determined he'd marry her tomorrow if she wanted him to, but he didn't think that was the right thing to tell her at this precise moment.
"Me either," he admitted and she let out a small sigh of relief even as a few tears leaked out of her eyes. Brushing them away gently he continued. "If you tell me to walk out the door and never come back I'll do it," he told her as his hands came up to rest on either side of her face. "It'll break my heart, but if that's what you want, I'll do it," he promised but she shook her head.
"I don't want that," she whispered and now it was his turn to let out a sigh of relief. He rested his forehead against hers, still drying a few tears as they fell down her face.
"What do you want?" he asked and her breath hitched in her throat at the question.
"You," she choked out and he didn't waste a second before pressing his mouth to hers. He kissed her gently, and she realized this was their first official kiss. Her hands slid into his hair as his thumbs stroked her cheeks, and he captured her top lip in between his before switching to her bottom lip. "What do you want?" she breathed and his eyes opened to meet hers and he'd never felt such an intense connection in his life.
"Us," he answered truthfully. "For real," he added before she leaned up on her tip toes to kiss him. He smiled into the kiss as the realization that he finally had what he wanted began to sink in. They were together.