"I can't BELIEVE you'd do this to Timmy!"
"Yeah! And I STILL can't believe it's not butter!"
SMASH.
Wanda's fist met the wall, knuckles silenty crying as she finally pulled them away, wincing as she felt them bruise.
She swayed, head extremely light, before allowing her body to slip to the floor. Poof turned to her, still clasping his Timmy doll.
"I'm low-fat, and boy-licious!"
"What could possibly go wrong?"
"My fish are really-"
"Mama?" squeaked Poof, face still buried in Timmy's stitched neck.
Wanda did not answer, pulling her knees to her face as she did so.
Cosmo raised an eyebrow-and for that, she couldn't blame him.
Wanda had never been the type of fairy who sat around and felt sorry for herself. If you fell, you got up.
If a horse bucked you, you got up.
If you fell off again, you got up.
If the horsie in general hadn't been in a particulary forgiving mood, called his buddies, and stampeded on you, well, you got up.
To call the ER.
But now, since by the time they had poofed up to the hospital, it was too late.
Timmy was already underneath the knife, and it was all her fault. She silently moaned to herself, before burying her face in her hands.
What a way to spend a birthday.
She should've been quicker. Her testimony should've been fullproof!
And it wasn't.
Timmy was going to be hurting when he awoke....
...and, if the surgery was interrupted now, it could result in Timmy's-!
She shuddered.
When they had rushed into the actual procedure room, all the doctors had been gathered, tightly skooshed around a table.
And Dr. Rip Studwell had pulled out a chainsaw.
Cosmo promptly passed out.
And she wasn't too far behind, until she realized that they were cutting a ham for their lunch break.
******************************************************************************************************************
Wanda poofed up her diary with a scowl.
So, THAT was how Jorgan wanted to play, huh?
She poofed up her purple feather and ink stone, and Cosmo inched away as she let a diabolical laugh tear from her throat asshe began her
frantic writing. Cosmo turned to Poof.
"Um....Poof? Mommy's just a little pyschotically scary at this point."
----
Ways to torment Jorgan Von Strangle
When he's sleeping, replace velvety slippers with those of bunnies to show people before they take them away for ironing.
Slip the shoes on his feet while he's still sleeping, and take pictures.
Post the pictures on the web.
Give phony signed photos of said picture to fairies.
Say that, even though he is immortal, "Time is a wonderful teacher. Fortunately, it kills all of his pupils."
When he asks you a question, simply say this: "Just remember-there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people."
Summon Hun army, the New York mafia, and the Vikings to attack him.
Find bazooka.
Shoot him with said bazooka.
Knock over your goblet-and spill grape juice onto his lap.
Show everyone video tape of Preschool-Jorgan (When he danced the lead role in The Nutcracker's Sugar Plum Fairy Waltz.)
Show everyone tape of last year, when he took part in Swan Lake.
Start a contest with Binky to see who can talk in the squeakiest voice.
Go on a long journey with him-without magic-and wait to you get to a lonely, barren wasteland to tell him you're really hungry.
Whine.
Start a rousing round of "99 bottles of soda on the wall."
Once you're at your destination, claim you want to go home.
Put you four S's to work: Sobbing, sulking, spitting, and screaming.
Insist you pick up hitchhikers.
Order the most expensive and difficult thing to prepare in the kitchens.
Eat only a few bites, then complain of a stomach ache.
Blow bubbles in your milk.
Order dessert.
If he refuses to allow you to order a dessert, throw a tantrum.
Request a booster seat.
Tell him that the tapioca pudding looks like fish eyes.
Tell him the spaghetti looks like bloody worms.
Mention to Binky that the tuna casserole he makes smells like cat vomit.
Tell him "Your road to success is always under construction."
Give him an appointment with Dr. Phil.
Send wolverines to his house every morning.
Send skunks in the afternoon.
And werewolves in the evening.
Note to self: These animals should be well epuiped with rabies.
Send my cooking to him.
Send Timmy's Mom's cooking to him.
Cancel his health insurance.
When he tries to take something for the food poisioning, place beetles in the medication.
Push him into Fluffy, The Unfriendly Cat's litterbox.
Tell Catman Jorgan is a villan.
Tell his sidekick-the old lady with arms like a body builder's Jorgan is a villian.
Tell every American Crimson Chin, Japanese Crimson Chin, and Korean Crimson Chin he's a villan.
Put a red sock with all of his white clothing when he next goes to the laundromat.
Put trapdoors and feet on all of his jammies.
Edit Military portrait to that of Street Mime's.
Send US Missiles to-
And the doors to the operating room slid open as Wanda looked up.