Chapter 11: Satisfaction
So many things had happened those last weeks, the last month, and I had almost forgotten what this 'little vacation' was all about. My father reminded me as my duty as a Warrior again when he wanted to see the four of us together. Being here, together with the other Warriors, who had almost become friends to me, felt like staying at the Fire Palace just like any other year. Only this year I had to face more troubles such as Azula, Kenshin, bending itself, … It was true, ever since I first came here my bending skills had become far better and elaborated, which made me remind that I had a purpose to be fulfilled. Wear the title Warrior with proud they told me. There was one problem: I still had no idea how to control my powers.
"Before we continue," and my father sat down just like all four of us and grabbed a stick, starting to draw the four elements' symbols in the earth. "It's important to observe other elements and use them as source to replenish your knowledge. What's the opposite of fire Nobu?"
"Erm, water?"
"And the opposite of earth?"
"Air."
"Exactly. Four elements, two opposite, two equals. One needs another, and that's why all elements are one. So today you're going to study about each other's bending techniques."
I couldn't help but being excited about this announcement. Iroh had shown me once a special technique all designed by himself by studying waterbenders. Maybe I'd discover a new technique by studying firebenders!
"Okay so, Meisha and Kenshin, Iroh and Master Pakku are waiting for you. Nobu and Amaya, you two follow me."
I was overfilled with joy and excitement and drag Kenshin along to the two old Masters who were talking to each other. Clearly it was some old-men-talk about us for they stopped after noticing the two of us, me a little more excited than Kenshin. Iroh was pleased seeing how thrilled I was and then gazed to the firebender standing behind me, staring at the unknown and obviously uninterested. I had no idea why he acted this way constantly, I preferred his sympathetic, supporting, handsome smirk.
"Warrior Meisha, have you worked on your bloodbending?" my teacher asked me. I hesitated and pretended a little chuckle which he responded by frowning his eyebrows. "Warrior Meisha, it is absolutely inappropriate being lazy all the time. Your father took a big risk learning you how to bend blood an you just –"
"Come come Master Pakku, I'm sure Meisha will work on it later this week. As for now, we have other things to do."
I couldn't thank Iroh enough. Kenshin was already accusing me from being a child and weak, and the last thing I wanted to was to confirm that. This was the kind of opportunity to prove him he was wrong. But Kenshin wasn't planning on paying any attention. In fact his eyes had fallen on the air- and earthbender at the other side of the Palace Garden. His eyes betrayed something, something I hadn't seen a lot before, only when he had held me tight and looked me in the eyes. Was he watching Amaya?
"Kenshin, please," Iroh insisted and the young bender looked up, clearly confused by hearing his name. "Now is not the time to get distracted. Off we go to the shore."
"Great, excellent! Now let your elements embrace each other, let them become one!" Iroh yelled when Kenshin and I had finally managed to spin our elements around one another. When Master Pakku had told me we were going to learn how to colourbend I was filled with joy, until I experienced Kenshin's great assistance. He could at least pretend to be doing the best he could. We had to do things over and over again, and for once in my life when I understood things quickly and developed just fine, he had to ruin it. He had to keep us waiting. And every time, we had to repeat the basic moves and it stuck with those moves. Kenshin clarifying he didn't understand, that he had difficults with the moves. Like that was true, it was obvious he just didn't like it, cause if he already had problems with these moves, he was even worse at bending than me. And that is impossible.
The water dropped on the floor again and the fire simply vanished when the second step in the procedure took place. Seeing how the sand absorbed the water made me frustrated and I pinched my nose in an attempt to ease this frustration, and Iroh did exactly the same. As for Master Pakku, he was sick of regaining his temper. "Kenshin! Stop thinking like a firebender! Why is it so hard? Your behaviour is unacceptable, you're not even trying to do it right! Do it again, now!"
"I'm trying I just –"
"No! You are NOT trying at all! You don't control the element, you're just a guide! Stop acting like you control it cause you're not!"
I had never seen Master Pakku getting mad like this, which was a good thing to me, not to Kenshin. The firebender on the other hand lost hope and dropped himself in the sand. No, Master Pakku would definitely not agree with this.
"What are you thinking! Get up, now!"
"I can't do this, okay? I can't."
"This has nothing to do with can, you have to Warrior Kenshin. Now get up!" he screamed furiously. He didn't react nor said anything, when suddenly a familiar voice drew everyone's attention. "Get up Kenshin. This behaviour you're having is childish. Act like this a second longer and you will regret it."
It seemed like Kenshin's father had decided to come and take a look how the bending was developing. I bit my under lip when I saw Lord Bai Sen frowning at his son who was sitting desperate in the sand. You would've expected his father to encourage him, but instead he only made clear he was disappointed. Yes, my mother was harsh on me, but this was something else. But Kenshin stood up though, at took his fighting stance for trying it one more time. I didn't want to fool him in front of his own father, so I bended my element gently and carefully making sure Kenshin would keep up on me. I had been questioning myself if Kenshin pretended to be bad at colourbending, but now that his father was watching I was sure he'd try better this time. The first step out of the tree went perfect. Both of our hands smoothly bended the elements next to each other when the fire and water eventually started encircling each other. But when step two followed, making the water and fire become one, Kenshin made a wrong gesture with his hands so the water dropped to the sand again and the fire disappeared. He cursed and dropped on the floor again.
"This is pathetic. Iroh, I insist you to keep teaching my son this move until he can do it properly. I won't allow him having dinner until he controls the basic moves." I looked up when Lord Bai Sen said this and frowned. "What are you saying? This is your son you're talking about," and Kenshin stared at me when I reacted to his father.
"Yes, and?"
"Not allowing your son to have dinner until he controls the basic moves won't make him a better Warrior, you know."
"Meisha, just, forget about it," and Kenshin stood up trying to stop me from saying anything more. But it was already too late, his father responded. "No that's true. Go ahead Kenshin, have dinner and be this pathetic, lame Warrior you've always dreamt of. Your mother would've been proud," and the man walked away. There was something in this answer that broke Kenshin. I noticed how his eyes widened when he heard his father's words and how he almost seemed to be in shock. He was finding himself in a position, unable to say something nor do anything. This man, his father, he was heartless. He was the one being pathetic and lame, and when I wanted to yell something back at him Kenshin walked away.
"Kenshin, wait."
"You've already done enough Meisha," and he made a gesture with his hand saying I didn't have to follow him. I wanted to, but Iroh's hand on my shoulder stopped me from doing so. "Don't. He needs time."
After a few hours I went for a walk along the shore. Kenshin still hadn't returned and since his father wasn't worried about him I went down to find him myself, because I was. After all the sun had already begun to set and the sea was getting wild an fierce. The birds in the sky flew to the most deserted place at the shore between the rocks where I found Kenshin gazing at the sun. I wanted to yell he had to come off, after all the rocks were far from save, but instead I found myself crawling my way up to the place he was sitting at. And there I was, standing behind him and also admiring the beautiful view. A dangerous place it sure was, but the view was worth it.
"It's beautiful," I spoke after a while, still staring at the horizon. It took Kenshin a while to regain his strength and answer me. I could tell he had been crying. He wouldn't allow himself from crying in public, but it was too obvious.
"I used to sit here a lot after my mother died. Sitting here, I somehow feel connected to her," and I dared taking a seat next to him. The chilly wind made me shiver. "Ever wondered what's behind the horizon?" I had no idea what he was talking about nor how to answer this question. "You know what my mother used to answer me?"
"What did she say?"
"'satisfaction'." And he kept staring to the horizon.
"That's beautiful..."
"It's strange. I had a great relationship with my mother when I was little. I kind of felt connected with her. I've never felt that same connection again. Until I met you," and his eyes met mine.
What was he talking about? He had felt it too? All this time, I thought I was crazy, but no I wasn't. I looked up at him and responded his eyes. Yes, there was a connection between us, and no I would never give into that feeling. We were Warriors, we had a purpose to be fulfilled. No Meisha, you're not falling for him. Focus Meisha. But now that our eyes were tangled into each other... Yue, he was handsome.
"Thanks for standing up for me though," and he quickly broke the energy between us. I was so lost and taken away by the way he had been looking at me just seconds ago that I had forgotten what he was talking about.
"Ow that, right, nevermind." The wind stroke his half-long hair gently back. His eyes wandered to me again, looking at my bare arms, then my collarbone and then my face. I wondered if he thought I was pretty, if he thought about the night he saw me naked in bed. Yet again, he had been watching Amaya today, and she was far more prettier than me. No, I was nothing compared to her.
"Common, let's go back, I'm freezing." He stood up and offered me a hand so I took it. He was so strong he had no problems with pulling me up, and when I stood in front of him, he had placed his hand very gently on my hip. I couldn't help but colouring red.
"Thank you, for the small talk. It helps," and he charmed that handsome smile on his face.
"Ow, erm, it's nothing really." Waw Meisha, great answer.
"I'm going to try a different technique, maybe you that'll help. It's a technique I developed all by myself by studying watermasters. I'm sure my nephew taught you about lightning, didn't he?"
"Yes, though that didn't work out either..."
"No worries Warrior Kenshin, Fire Lord Zuko only succeeded bending lightning a few years ago himself," and he winked to the young firebender. "Fortunately I have other ways of mastering lightning, I'll teach you how to redirect it."
A spark of hope was painted on Kenshin's face, and I couldn't help but being happy myself seeing him smile like this. After what his father had said, he had acted more discouraged and sadder than ever before. He had a lot of difficults with bending, just like me, so I knew what he was dealing with. And since my lessons were already finished I couldn't help but take a look at how his lectures were going. After Iroh explained him something about the stomach-sea-of-energy-more-ocean-thing, he made a gesture letting his index- and middle finger slide down his arm, to his stomach and then point out the other way. He repeated the same action now with his other hand and soon both of them found themselves repeating this action several times. I noticed this movement was also a typical waterbending movement.
"Great Kenshin. You figured out the first part. Well I don't really see the problem, I think you're more than ready to awake lightning yourself."
"You think so?" he asked not really sure about himself.
"One hundred percent," and he encouraged him with a smile. "Do you know how to create it?"
"Fire Lord Zuko went through it with me," he said while scratching the back of his neck. "It didn't work out, though."
"No problem, one step at a time. Now, let me see what you're capable of."
"Erm, okay," and he hesitantly went for a fighting position. After taking a deep breath he moved his arms into a strange position I had never seen before, when suddenly the first blue electricity started making a creaking noise at the tops of his fingertips. Once the energy was gathered at the tops of his index - and middle finger, he had no clue what to do with the dangerous lightning then. That's when he lost concentration and control of his lightning. As response he panicked and bended the lightning at any direction as long as it was far away from him. The only problem was the direction he had chosen was the one leading to me, and in seconds the lightning was directing towards me. For a moment there I thought this was it. Lightning, one of the most powerful weapons someone can possibly obtain, never lay it in the hands of an amateur.
The second before the blue electricity would hit me, Iroh pushed me aside and guided the lightning away, making it hit one of the roofs of the Fire Palace. The lightning passed right in front of my eyes so the heat was tangible.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND! YOU COULD'VE KILLED HER!" Iroh was about to get a heart attack, and that while the old man never lost his temper.
"I, I, I'm sorry I didn't..." and he took some steps back, realizing what he just had done. He started panicking, his eyes started moistening when he watched me sitting just inches away from the position I had been sitting before he had struck the lightning towards me. I found myself incapable of saying anything. Every muscle in my body had tensed and I was still too shocked to get up or do anything else. I could've been dead. Kenshin had almost killed me.
He growled and ran away. "Kenshin," and uncle Iroh caught up on him, leaving me behind. I had no clue what to think of, only able to stare at the grass field of the garden. I was so shocked, it had been so frightening, I could've been... Dead...
"Meisha, are you all right sweety?"
I was able to look up and saw Mai ducked next to me, caressing my face and worry-looking. Relieved to see her, I had no idea what I was doing and quickly clung onto her and started crying hysterically. Her arms were easily swift around me and she softly stroke my hair. "It's okay, you're going to be fine." I wanted to respond, I wanted to scream it wasn't going to be okay. I wanted to scream out something, though it would've been incomprehensible words and moans. I wanted to scream why she allowed uncle Zuko from sleeping with other women. I wanted to tell her about how I felt towards Kenshin. I wanted to scream he had almost killed me. But I couldn't, and the feeling you want to scream out plenty of things but being incapable of doing so made me frustrated. Why was my life so difficult? Why wasn't it rather boring and normal? Why was I a Warrior? Why me, why me from all the people.
He had felt embarrassed, defeated, stupid, angry, guilty, confused, it was too difficult describing how he felt. He had hurt Meisha, he would never forgive himself, he would never ever bend lighting again. She might forgive him, he would never forgive himself. Her blue eyes appeared in his mind again. Go away go away go away! He was getting crazy, she was making him crazy. Her skin, he remembered himself, her beautiful naked back...
"WHY WON'T SHE LEAVE MY HEAD?" It had come this far that he started screaming at himself. He had always been able of staying calm in any situation or controlling his emotions. But somehow this particular girl made him unable from doing so, somehow she had the strength to control and torture him. Why her? Why her from all the people. Why did she have to be a Warrior.
He got sick of it, he had no clue of what he was doing when he suddenly realized he was standing in front of her family's door. Would he knock? Shouldn't it be better to just leave and walk away now that it was still possible? Before he had met her he wouldn't doubt and would've done it immediately. Now though there was this little voice in his head which told him to do so. And before he knew his hand was raised to the door and started knocking. That one single minute he had to wait for the door to be opened were the most tensed 60 seconds in his entire life. His heart started pounding, his respiration was shorter and faster, and when someone opened the door – probably her father – he had closed his eyes, afraid to face the Avatar after what had happened this week earlier. He had invaded his daughter's privacy, he had almost killed her.
"Can I help you, Sir?"
He had never been so relieved after hearing a child's voice. After opening his eyes he saw Meisha's younger brother – what was his name again? – gazing at him with his big grey eyes. His eyes were wide open as if he was afraid of him, maybe because he was so tall compared to him, so Kenshin ducked on the same height as the boy. He did looked heartless and rude from time to time, Kenshin still had a good way of dealing with children.
"Hey there tough guy, what's your name?"
"Yoshu..." he hesitantly answered, not really sure whether he should trust the tall man.
"Yoshu huh? Where are your parents?"
"They had to go to an important meeting. My sister and I couldn't come, but that's okay I can take care of my sister!" and he placed his hands on his hips, showing the firebender how strong he was.
"Wow, you can handle your big sister all by yourself? You must be some hero or legend." The boy chuckled shyly, prouder than ever and then let Kenshin in. "Big sis's having a bath. She hates it when you disturb her during her bathing time, that's why I like doing it. Are you Fire Warrior Kenshin? You're not as muscled as Meisha described, one day I'm going to defeat you with arm wrestling! Can you really bend lightning? How is that like? I'm an airbender. Air is much cooler than fire and earth. Except water, water's cool. My mom's a waterbender, you should meet her! Have you ever seen a waterbender? Ow right, stupid question, you see my sister every day. Have you mastered your Warrior Skills yet? Meisha hasn't, she's –"
"That's great Yoshu, listen, there's this special task you need to do for me. But you have to promise me you'll keep it secret."
"A special task, me? What is it? I promise I promise!"
"I'm going to disturb your sister during bathing time, and I need you to keep everyone out, otherwise my prank's going to fail, and we don't want that, right?"
"A prank huh? I like you Kenshin," and the child charmed an ominous smile on his face. He laughed the same way as his father. He looked an awful lot like his father.
Kenshin closed the door behind him and the sound of water sputtering on the floor filled his ears, making him wonder how she would look like when she was bathing. The idea of Meisha's soaked body made him shiver, not that it was unpleasant, he was disgusted by himself, that he was actually thinking about her like that. The door to her bathroom was slightly open, just enough to let him peek inside. She was gently washing her hair with soap, creating a white foam that eventually covered her shoulders. He had seen plenty of naked girls, he had had several girlfriends, and it had never stuck to just kissing. But somehow she was different, somehow when he was watching her he felt this strange feeling in his stomach most girls only were able to create after sneaking into his pants.
"Yoshu? I told you to leave me alone when I'm in the bathroom!" and she attempted to close the door when she noticed a foot stopped her from doing so. There was only one problem, the foot was too big for an eight-year-old child. She gasped when she was looking straight into those golden eyes she had been fantasising about just seconds ago, she only had never expect them to be watching her now. And although she had longed for them just seconds ago, now she just wanted them to leave. In vain, the firebender was already opening the door to go inside.
"Kenshin, what are you doing here?" and she wrapped the towel a little tighter when he walked forward into her bathroom. He absolutely had no idea what he was doing, there was this little voice in his head telling him to leave while his body acted differently. Was she scared of him? He couldn't blame her. He was standing in front of her now, letting the steam surround him as he smelled the roses scent she had used to fill her bath with. Her beautiful wide blue eyes matched perfectly with the blue water still present in the bathtub. He raised his hand to touch her face but she pushed it away.
"What are you, Kenshin –" and the hand she had just been pushing away was now lying in her neck, moving her hand to her left shoulder. It made her shiver, she actually liked it, but she was also confused and not sure about it. They were both Warriors. He was a Warrior. But still...
"Kenshin..." her enchanting voice whispered when she gently placed her small hand on top of his, now resting on her left cheek. She softly stroke it with her thumb and took a step forward to take a better look at his eyes. She seemed so desperate. He seemed so lost.
Only a second later he had pushed her against the wall, almost choking her. He growled out of frustration when his forehead was resting on her collarbone, he was at any state he could scream or even cry. The anger was so fierce he had to remember himself it was her he was pushing against the wall, and he loosened his grip when he realized she was unable to breathe. His rage slowly faded when he watched her breasts raising up and down on the same rhythm as she gasped for air. Sudden realization hit him when he felt her warm breath in his neck making the blood rush to his groin. What the hell was he doing?
They were both inhaling rapidly when he let go of her. He was unable to look her in the eyes but he somehow still managed to do so, although he was ashamed. He had almost struck her with lighting today, now this, and still her eyes betrayed something disappointing and sad. It made him want to hold her, but he couldn't. She watched how his longing instinct made room for another one of his impassive faces when he walked away. After she heard him shot the door she let her drop to the floor and started crying. How long would this torture continue?
The firebender frustratingly left Meisha's room when her younger brother stopped him from doing so. He was as lively as ever. "How was it, how was it? You got her? Was she angry? Cause that's funnier," he asked excitedly. But now Kenshin wasn't in the mood to act friendly again, so he pushed the child aside and left their family's residence, only to bump in with a woman with brown hair and dark blue-grey eyes, followed by a man with the same hair colour and colour of eyes as Meisha. Her eyes were quickly narrowed when she noticed Kenshin.
"Can we help you?" she asked suspicious. The man's smile disappeared in a second when he also noticed the firebender. It didn't take long for Kenshin to find out this was probably her real uncle and his wife. The unbearable silence got broken by the blind metalbender, Nobu's teacher – what was her name again?
"Kenshin?" and although she couldn't see she noticed immediately it was him standing in their doorstep. "What are you doing here?"
"He pranked Meisha! I like him," Yoshu yelled from the other side of the room, offering another wide smile. Now the tree elder of them watched the firebender suspiciously. The woman who got in first spoke again. "Right, a prank..." The metalmaster took one big step forward to free the exit and pointed him out, so he listened humbly and left the room but not after another lecture from her uncle making a gesture as followed: pointing at himself, then at his eyes, and then at the firebender.
"Yoshu, what did we tell you about letting strangers in?" Suki quickly took her place as current nanny again by picking up the young airbender and supporting him to his bedroom. "But he's the Fire Warrior! I like him! You know he can bend lightning? It's so awesome! I think he likes me too! We're going to be best friends and trick any –"
"That's great Yoshu, I'm sure you will," Sokka answered to make him shut up. He made a gesture to Toph asking her if she could check on Meisha. She sighed annoyingly but eventually pulled herself together and took her responsibility. She knocked violently on the door, getting no response, so opened it, finding Meisha lying on her bed, naked, staring at the unknown – her ceiling.
"Meisha? Is there something you need to tell me," and she walked into the room but Meisha still didn't move. After several seconds passing by she took a deep breath. "Nothing happened."
"I know you're lying Meisha, have you forgotten I can sense it when you are? I'm not going to do this every generation!" Seriously, what is it with secret water-firebender-relations?, and Toph threw her arms in the air feeling desperate she had always been the one to find out secrets and keep them secrets.
"What are you talking about?" and Meisha lifted up her head to take a better look at her. That's when the metalbender realized she had said enough. "Nevermind," and she closed the door with a loud smack.