Author's Note: This chapter focuses mainly on John's emotional reaction to everything Melody's told him. It's on the shorter side, but I hope you enjoy it, nonetheless.

John's heart tore a little at the guilt and conviction in her words.

'I am a murderer.'

His stomach churned, leaving an uncomfortable, nagging sensation deep in his gut. He fumbled his lips, but couldn't speak, dumbstruck.

So he let the silence linger between them, unwilling to push Melody any further.

The reality of her words hadn't so much surprised him as ushered a harsh, bitter rage; anger targeted not at Melody, but her captors. Just the thought of Melody being physically or verbally abused and coerced into something as terrible as murder left his mind numb, his heart racing, his hands trembling. He could now understand Melody's fear about this situation, why she hadn't fleshed out the gruesome details until he'd begged and badgered her enough that she couldn't hide any longer.

John didn't realize he'd clenched his fist until he felt Melody's familiar, gentle fingers glide over his hand.

"John?" she croaked, voice shaking, barely audible. "I'm—I'm sorry."

Feeling bereft at the loss of her feather-light touch, John quickly claimed her hand before she could protest, threading his fingers through hers.

He gave it a comforting squeeze, saying more with his actions than he could ever put into words.

"Me-lo-dy," he finally rasped, each syllable tinged with emotion, "How did you get out?"

Her fingers trembled in his grasp, and she closed her eyes, as if to concentrate, to remember.

"My parents. Well, Mum primarily, but Dad too. He may be visually blind, but he is certainly not blind to emotions. Ever since I got that job, they both sensed the change in me. I'd come home so despondent and withdrawn, so unlike the person I was before. Before I—before I… killed. The worst part was I wasn't fully aware of why I was feeling that way either, with the repeated memory wipes. But after I started leaving myself notes…I became more aware. Tried to hide from them for their own protection. I didn't want the organization targeting my family, so I did everything I could to keep the truth a secret. But Mum managed to find the notes I'd left myself…she started to piece everything together, did some research. Everything about that time is hazy now…but sometimes I have these awful dreams…I still don't remember much. Most of what I know comes from what my parents told me…after…after Schweigen Industries was dismantled. But there is one day that I still remember distinctly…"

The bright lights flickered on her eyelids, slowly ushering her out of unconsciousness and into the white-walled confines of the room.

She squinted, confused and overwhelmed, her heart beating frantically as she failed to place her surroundings.

"Wh-where a-am I?" Melody huffed, voice sounding foreign to her own ears, a realization which only increased her fear and uncertainty.

"Melody…" her mother's tear-streaked face entered her view, and she felt the slender fingers wrap around her hand. "Rory, she's awake, Rory, Melody's—"

She watched her dad stir beside her mother, his blue-grey eyes blinking open in relief.

"Mum…Dad…?"

"You're in hospital, Melody. You're going to be fine, the doctor said. You're okay."

Somehow her father's shaky voice didn't reassure her.

"What—what happened?"

"You had a panic attack, darling. You blacked out for a while. But you're fine now, that's all that matters. And you're safe, Melody. You'll always be safe from now on."

She tried to move, but her whole body constricted in pain.

"Everything hurts. Why does everything hurt? Oh gosh, my head…" Melody groaned.

"You've been through a lot, honey. But it will be better now, we promise." Amelia's hold on her hand tightened.

"But my new job…what…what was it called…Schweigen…or something? Is that German? It sounds funny…Mind's all fuzzy…I can't…can't remember…when do I start work…what if they—"

"Schweigen Industries went bankrupt a few days ago. You won't be working there ever again, Melody." Something in her mother's eye seemed odd, like she wasn't telling her everything, like she'd been a part of what happened. But it couldn't be; she was probably delirious anyway…

"Sometimes I wonder how much my parents have kept from me since that day. I couldn't even remember I'd ever worked at Schweigen, but slowly, some of it has come back, and with the guilt, my parents had to tell me something. It always seemed strange that Schweigen collapsed so conveniently and without gleaning too much attention from the press. I've always thought that maybe my mum had something to do with that…but I've no idea. We just accepted what happened…and figured that I was safe for the time being. Kovarian, the leader of the organization, mysteriously disappeared and that was that. Only it wasn't. It was too easy. Deep down, I knew that something was in the works. That they'd let me off on purpose. And that one day, they would come back…" she stopped, shivering. "And…and now they have…"

Tears cascaded down her cheeks, and she let them fall, tired of holding her emotions in.

"I tried to move past all this, but what I'm realizing now is…I never really have. I've just held it in, the guilt, the fear. It's always there, clawing at the back of my mind. I tried to believe that I was different, better, tried to convince myself that I could have a relatively normal life. With my family, my job, my friends…you. You were my best friend, and then things started to change, and I got too close, we got too close. And in doing so, I've hurt you. I've lied and I've hidden the truth, and now, I've put you in the crossfire. For all I know, they could target you because of me…" her bottom lip quivered. "I didn't want you to know this for your own good. I thought I was protecting you. But now it doesn't matter, you're in danger either way, I'm tired of lying, and you're right, you deserve to know the truth. And now that you do, you can save yourself. Get a new assistant professor. Stay as far away from me as you can. Please." Melody begged, dropping his hand as she scooted to the edge of the bench.

Her desperate plea rang in his ears, reverberating above the sound of his own heartbeat, leaving a sharp, biting pain in his chest.

His throat felt dry, but he fumbled his lips, forcing the sound out.

"I can't." he whispered just loudly enough for Melody to hear.

John's hand brushed her shoulder, and she stiffened, body trembling.

"John, did you not hear a word of that? I am a murderer, wanted by an organization that has just returned and will surely come after me and everyone I care about, so the best thing you can do is—"

"NO." he grabbed her wrist then, fingernails digging into her soft skin, trying to hold on, will her to listen. "You are wrong, Melody Williams."

"John, let go, you're—"

"Not until you listen!" an exasperated groan followed that protest, and he weakened his grasp a little, not intending to hurt her. "You're wrong, Melody! You're not a murderer…do you hear me?"

"But I am—"

"No. That is who they said you were. They forced you to do unfathomable things…but that's the point, you never had a choice! You're no more a murderer than a soldier fighting a war, forced to do unthinkable things to protect those he cares about. I'm not saying you're perfect, Melody, or pretending that those actions didn't damage you, didn't make you feel guilty. But you can't let the shame of your past define you today. Because you are so much more than that. If you hadn't saved me last year, I would have died. I owe my life to you. Have you ever thought about that?" He spat, anger and bitterness and fear and love boiling up in his heart.

"Yes, and now I'll be the reason you'll lose it! You are not safe with me, John…"

"And you're not safe without me. If you really think that I would just leave you on your own, with this psychotic Nazi-like organization due to come after you at any time, just to save my hide, then you must not know me at all. I don't care what happens to me…if there's a chance I can help you, a chance I can protect you, a chance that I can take your place, then I am sure as hell gonna take it because I could not live with myself if anything happened to you when I could have prevented it. Melody, you may not believe this, but you mean the world to me, and that's why I can't leave you. I won't. I could never." The last word came out as a husky whisper, filled with truth and longing.

He sucked in a breath, relaxing his grip altogether and placing a lingering kiss to the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry."

His throat closed then, the dilemma between his heart and his mind consuming his soul; part of him, the part driven by his raging emotions, willed him to just lean in and capture her lips in his, to kiss her like he longed to do, like she'd done to him only days ago. But logic—was it really logic?—and maybe fear told him that wasn't what she needed, even if every aching bone inside him said otherwise, because this was never about him.

So instead, he took her in his arms, pulling her into a tight embrace as she shuddered against him, her tears soaking into his jacket as he peppered those wonderful curls with soft kisses, and whispered three words into her ear—three terrifying words that nearly got lost in his throat, three terrifying words that he nearly couldn't speak aloud, three terrifying words that she needed to hear no matter how terrified he was, three terrifying words that he meant with all his heart, three terrifying words that, he realized, came so naturally that maybe they weren't so terrifying after all.

I love you.

Note:Well, that's what the Doctor whispered in her ear in LKH right?

I know the collapse of Schweigen still seems unclear, but that will be clarified later on...

I suspect the action will resume in the next chapter, and there will be some pivotal moments that will really define these characters even more. But as for when I'll get around to that...I really can't say. I'm meeting Alex Kingston, Matt Smith, and Karen Gillan within the next few weeks, so I'll be busy making them artwork, I don't know if I'll find the motivation to update this story within that time frame, but I will try.

Thanks for reading:) Have a great day!