Chapter 11: Decisions
Hermione? I've finished speaking with Lucius.
Hermione started at the sound of Snape's voice in her mind. It was early evening and Hermione had barely been able to eat anything. She'd been curled up in bed while everyone else was at dinner and now she was hiding from her peers while they socialized in the common room.
What did he say? she thought with much anxiety in her tone.
I managed to persuade him to see me as an ally.
Hermione tensed. Just what exactly had it taken for Severus to convince Lucius that was true? Was Snape even telling her the truth?
Can I see you now? she asked. I'll come to your office.
Yes. Be discreet and make sure no one follows you.
I'm in so much pain, Professor. I can barely think past it.
I know. There's just no direct way for you to get to me. If the Common Room was empty I could set up a floo connection, but I'm sure there are students in it now.
Unfortunately for me, there are. I'm leaving now, but I can't say how long it will take me to walk to you. Every step for me is torture.
Severus didn't respond to her last comment. There wasn't anything he could say to make it better for her. In truth he wasn't even sure if having sex with her would soothe her physical need dramatically enough to make a significant difference.
Hermione made herself walk through the Common Room with minimal signs of discomfort. She didn't try to look for Harry. She remembered him saying something about having Quidditch Practice. Undoubtedly if he had been there, he would have tried to stop her from leaving. Certainly in her present condition, he was faster than she was and if he wanted to catch her he could. She thanked all the Powers That Be that Harry was the captain of the Quidditch team. She really didn't want to talk to him now.
Damn Lucius Malfoy to the hottest depths of the lowest region of hell!
Too bad looks couldn't kill, Hermione thought to herself. She would gladly aim a gaze of pure poison at the man who had done this to her. He had to pay. One way or another. Hermione preferred it to involve extreme amounts of agonizing pain and castration.
But as she forced herself to walk towards the dungeons, a traitorous voice in her head told her she'd rather be Lucius Malfoy's sex slave than see him reduced to such a state. If she hadn't been in so much pain, she would have laughed hysterically. Could it be she was finally going insane?
Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her school, now nymphomaniac for the taking to all Death Eaters who strike her fancy.
Hermione leaned against a wall for a few seconds. If Lucius Malfoy found her now she wouldn't be escaping him with her virginity intact, that much she knew.
Perhaps I should just stand here and wait for him like a cheap street whore. Going to Professor Snape will only complicate things and possibly put me in even greater danger.
Hermione tensed and shook her head as if to clear it, forcing herself to snap out of her thoughts. She was trembling involuntarily and swallowed down the sharp spasm of fear that was building in her throat.
Staying close to the wall, Hermione slowly made her way towards the staircase that lead to the dungeons. She looked at the steps, reluctant to descend them. If only she knew for sure that she was making the right decision. It was a hell of time to be changing her mind, she knew, but she refused to relinquish rational thought while considering the pros and cons of her choice to see Snape. Her body made it physically and painfully clear what she should do. Yet her mind was still uncertain, even now. More so, after knowing that Snape had seen Lucius Malfoy. She looked behind her and she was just as reluctant to turn back.
She let out a shaky breath.
Severus or Lucius.
The choice should have been simple. Severus Snape was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, loyal to Dumbledore and everything he stood for.
At least, that is what he claimed. Certainly he had given her no reason to doubt him. And yet, . . . what if he truly was a Death Eater? Hermione thought about all the times she had defended her potions professor to Harry and Ron when they had accused him of being evil. Everyone seemed to trust him in the Order. She wanted to trust him. But she couldn't quite get past the fact that she couldn't be certain of his loyalty. If she was going to be intimate with the man, she wanted to be sure of his intentions.
Damn sure.
Unfortunately, she couldn't think of any way for her to be certain that he told the truth.
At least with Lucius Malfoy, she knew for sure what he was. And if she went to him, there would be no worries about trust. Her trust with him would be nonexistent with no pretenses of it being otherwise.
And if she went to Lucius, perhaps she could find out why he was doing this to her.
But if she went to Lucius, she would be giving him what he wanted. After all the torture he'd put her through, that was the last thing she wanted to do.
If she wasn't going to Lucius, Severus was her only substitute.
Slowly she made her way down the steps. She hated being alone in this part of the castle. It didn't help matters that she wasn't exactly calm. Her heart beat quicker as she approached Snape's office.
It's not too late to change your mind, Hermione, a voice in the back of her mind said. You know Lucius will satisfy you better than Severus Snape. You're fooling yourself if you think you can get away with denying your desire for him. Don't waste your time with Severus. He won't help you. He can't. He's not Lucius Malfoy.
Hermione swallowed hard, ignoring the nearly overpowering urge to leave the dungeons and seek out the blonde Death Eater.
Severus Snape had to be a better choice than giving in to Lucius Malfoy.
Hermione didn't even knock on the door when she reached Snape's office. It was a superfluous gesture when he was expecting her.
Snape was sitting at his desk, disdainfully marking essays as she crossed the door's threshold and entered into the room. He raised his gaze to meet hers, and to her credit, Hermione held his gaze with every appearance of composed confidence. On the inside though, there was no pretending that she wasn't frightened.
And she was dangerously close to letting that fear escape into her expression.
Snape hadn't moved, hadn't even said a word. He dispassionately studied her behavior, undoubtedly drawing his own conclusions about what she was presently thinking.
The man was a master Legilimens. She would have liked to think that he wouldn't look into her mind without her knowing it, but as she watched him she knew she was looking at a man whose scruples were an extremely dark shade of gray.
Snape rose from his chair. The look he gave her as he did so chilled her to her soul. It was all she could do not to take a step back from him.
"Miss Granger," he said in a smooth tone. "Before you make any irrevocable decisions, hear this. I told you before that you could leave England and maybe escape Lucius's reach. I strongly suggest you reconsider that option before things proceed any further. There's a potion I have ready that will indefinitely suppress your magic. I've been keeping it for myself if ever I had to go to ground quickly and evade magical pursuit. Take it and leave England and Lucius will not be able to touch you. In suppressing your magic, the potion will destroy his curse's power over you. You won't be able to have any contact with the magical world, but you are Muggleborn, and it shouldn't be an insurmountable hardship. If things go well you can always return later and take the potion's antidote."
Hermione stared at him, taken aback.
"And where would I go? How would I support myself?"
"Go anywhere you like. Anywhere but here. And your monetary needs will be seen to by the Order of the Phoenix. You'll have enough money in an untraceable bank account that will let you live in comfort for several years if necessary."
"And my family? Do you expect them to be happy about me dropping off the face of the earth?"
"If doing this saves your life I'm sure they will understand."
"You're asking me to live without magic? Without any contact with anyone I know? To give up everything I know?"
"Yes. I can tell you that things didn't go particularly well with Lucius Malfoy. He's far too interested in you. Before you say anything else, understand this, Miss Granger, if you choose to stay here I can't guarantee your safety."
"You can't guarantee my safety if I leave, either."
"No, but Lucius won't be a threat to you."
Hermione didn't immediately respond.
"You think I don't know the danger I'm in right now?"
Snape only looked at her, but his eyes told her that he really didn't think she understood the gravity of her situation. His gaze hardened.
"Staying here might kill you."
"So I should just run away?"
"Think about it. Your future doesn't exactly look bright."
"Are you trying to make me leave England?"
Snape's expression softened perhaps a fraction of a degree.
"No. I merely had to put the option to you. If things go badly, at least I gave you fair warning that there was a way out."
Hermione was silent for over a minute.
"I can't," she said, her voice no more than whisper. "My magic's too much a part of me to live without it. I'd rather die than give it up."
"Spoken like a true Gryffindor."
Hermione stiffened at the remark.
"Quite frankly I'm surprised that you wish to send me abroad to adamantly. If you were someone else I would say it was because you don't want to see me hurt. While I suppose that might be a small part of your rationale I think it's really because you don't want to involve yourself in my situation with Lucius."
Severus looked at her. You have no idea.
"Miss Granger," Severus said softly. "No one is forcing me to be here with you. I haven't told anyone in the order about what Lucius did to you. If I wanted you to be someone else's problem, I'd tell you to get the fuck out of my office. As I haven't dismissed you, you can safely conclude that I'm willing to do what I can to keep Lucius Malfoy away from you."
"Or perhaps your suggestion for me to leave was a warning not to trust you," Hermione said in a barely audible voice.
"Considering your situation, you have no choice but to trust me. Unless you're going to actually change your mind and get out of the country."
Hermione took a step towards Snape.
"Not once have you mentioned the fact that you get to have sex with me as being a motivating factor in your decision. Certainly you haven't forgotten why I'm here now."
At her words, Snape's expression changed. The beginnings of a purely sexual smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. An intense shock of desire shot down Hermione's spine. The painful throbbing between her legs increased to a sharp stabbing pain. She kept most of her pain from showing on her face.
"No. I assure you, Miss Granger, I haven't forgotten."
"Then tell me this, was it a factor in making your decision?"
His smile turned into a smirk.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
Hermione's breath caught in her throat. Liquid heat bloomed in her core. Snape watched her reaction.
"You're being cruel," she told him in a low voice.
"Am I?"
Hermione shivered as a wave of desire coursed through her entire body. Her pain skyrocketed to a vicious pounding and it nearly drove her to her knees. She let out an uneven breath.
Snape took a step forward.
"Would you rather I be kind?" he asked in a sensual murmur. He took another step towards her. He was now only a few feet away.
Hermione looked up at him, her eyes reflecting raw desire. It was a blatant invitation.
"I think I'll settle for a mix between the two."
Snape smiled. There was something sinfully predatory in the curve of his lips.
"As you wish."
And then the distance closed between them.
A/N: I'm sorry. I know I'm evil. But I want to make the next scene long and good so I'm giving it it's own chapter. I'll get it done as soon as I can, and I promise it will be worth the wait.